AJ

They just don’t know how to have fun anymore, man! Jesus! Everything is money, money, money… Lighten up! We’re on a tropical island, the sun is shining and we’re supposed to be doing things that are going to make us let loose and be creative. Did they all forget what’s it’s like to let loose? That we used to spend hours in the pool just horsin’ around? Playing basketball? Video games? Did they all forget how to have a little bit of fun? When were the rules written that you must be creative from nine to five? Only during daylight when we all know we’ve always worked best when we just rode with it – whenever it hit us?

Dang…oh, forget dang…damn! Fuck, even! Lighten up!

“Aje?”

Nick’s head appears in the doorway with a playful smirk on his face. I glance to my watch and turn back. “Ain’t it past your bedtime?”

He rolls his eyes and comes in. “Gimme a break, dawg. It’s past your bedtime if you brought your girl with you. Me, Howie an’ you? Like we’re following their orders? Ain’t my fault the rest of the fellas don’t want to do anything without them.”

“Didn’t see you fightin’ too hard against them.” I light up a cigarette and scootch back towards the headboard of my bed with a drink. “Especially when I was bringing up the topic.”

“Oh, come on, Aje…” he grumbles, dropping across the foot of the bed. “Like we were going to do anything different? They had plans and we weren’t fitting in them. Once LeighAnne and Kris leave, they’ll be more together.”

I sip my drink trying not to snort into it. “You don’t really think LeighAnne is leaving, do you? Didn’t you notice? There’s other females in bikini’s around. LeighAnne’s not going anywhere, and if LeighAnne’s not leaving, Kris isn’t either.”

“No, Kris has some plans or something. She’s outta here. You might be right about LeighAnne, though.” He sighs and drops onto the mattress, looking up to the ceiling. “She’s never leaving his side, is she?”

“Probably not, no.” She hasn’t yet, why should we think she’s going to? I’m getting to the point where I feel like I should just talk to LeighAnne whenever I want to ask Brian something. He doesn’t do anything without checking with her anyway. Kristin’s okay…at least she seems to have a life outside of Kevin. Maybe that’s because she has been around forever and knows he can’t give 110% to her and her alone in this business. It helps that she’s in it herself, so she knows what she’s up against. LeighAnne is too, but it seems like she got Brian and sort of stopped trying for her own career and is settling to ride on Brian’s coat tails. But, I guess, after being through what Brian’s been through, it’s comforting to have someone there for you, to confide in. It’s all Brian’s ever wanted, really.

“Dude, if I ever get like them with Mandy, slap me, would you?”

Like she doesn’t do that enough? I don’t actually say that, but…. She’s not the sweetest thing on the planet and she let’s Nick know all too well when he does something she doesn’t like. Then again, so does Jane, although, not quite to that degree. Nick’s used to being told what to do by an authoritative female. And what do I do? What do they all think of me when I was with Marissa? What did I do?

“Things are changing, Nick,” is all I can come up to say. “We’re not a bunch of kids climbing the ladder anymore, are we?”

“Then what are we doing? We’re still aiming to really slam the US aren’t we? Why else are we here? We’ve still got something to prove.”

I scoff again into my drink and flick some ashes towards the ashtray. “Dude, we’ll always have something to prove to someone. That’s just the way it is.”

“You think so? If this next album hits, we can really prove what we’re doing is legit, though. They’ll have to take us seriously if we can hit real big.”

I finish my drink and take a long drag of the cigarette. He truly believes in all this. How? How can he truly believe in all this? If we hit we’ll be taken seriously? We’re the butt of every musical joke in the Industry! We’re never going to get rid of this rep we have…thanks to Lou and the freakin’ media. Squeaky clean, good boy images my ass. They’re just not paying attention now, are they? They just haven’t talked to the right people, have they? Maybe they did, and they just don’t believe it? I can’t imagine some flimsy ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ contract is keeping our previous conquests out of the papers. Someone’s talking…no one is listening though. No one ever fucking listens, do they?

“I came in here because Howie and me are going out for a swim. You wanna come? The pool bar is still open and it’s something like ninety degrees out there still.”

“Bring on the Babes in Bikini’s!” I laugh, grateful not to keep talking about being taken seriously. They take us seriously to our faces, at least. That’s good enough for me, as long as I’m getting drinks and getting laid.

June

Kevin

Man, I’m drunk and the night is still young, they keep telling me. We’re at one of the bars I used to go to a long time ago, underage drinking…shhhh, don’t tell! But the place has been rented out by my buddies and we’ve truly taken over. It’s hot, humid and there isn’t even any air outside on the deck, but I needed to be outside for a minute, hoping I’d find some. Air, that is.

Is any of this making sense? Man, I’m drunk.

Keith comes out and sits next to me. He’s drunk too. This is all just too familiar, isn’t it? I nudge him with my elbow and find myself laughing. Not that I know why, but I do, and he starts giggling himself. “Man, Kev! You’re gettin’ married!”

“I know!” I laugh. “Can you believe it?”

“It’s about Goddamn time!” he says. “I can’t believe she waited this long!”

“Neither can I,” I admit. “But I love her, Keith. It had to happen after everything we went through. I’m not about to find anyone else that’s going to understand me like she does.”

He scoffs playfully. “Dude, she doesn’t understand you. Hell, I’ve known you all your life and I don’t understand you! She tolerates you and somehow, thinks all those annoying things you do are cute!”

“I don’t do annoying things!” I protest, pushing his shoulder, but he just laughs. “Alright, maybe I do a few annoying things, but she understands me!”

He nods, sipping his beer. “I know,” he admits. “That’s why I’m glad you’re finally doing this ‘cause I don’t think I’d like anyone else. You’re just too damn perfect together.”

It’s my turn to nod. “Yeah, we are, aren’t we?”

“I’m saying this now, but you’ll hear it again when I make my toast.” He sits up and turns a bit to face me. “You two make the rest of us jealous.”

“Get the hell out of here!”

“No, I mean it. When you two are together, you’re fucking perfect and it makes everyone else around you jealous and wish they could find the same thing. You two make the rest of us think it’s possible.”

“Stop it,” I mumble, finishing my drink, “or I’m gonna start bawling.”

“I’m just happy for ya, Kev,” he says seriously.

“It’s all falling together, isn’t it?” It is, too. All this struggling, not knowing what we were doing, where we were heading, putting everything on hold for work and our careers, and it’s finally paying off. It’s all coming together, fitting into place. The bands making waves in the States, I’m finally marrying the one person I love most, I’m surrounded by family and friends from every stage in my life… “Does it really get any better than this?”

AJ

It’s a little cloudy when I wake up, but over all, not bad for a wedding day. What woke me up was the fact that there is no sound other than birds and crickets! Quiet is overrated, man! It’s driving me nuts. I am awake on a mountain top somewhere in Kentucky and when I walk outside and climb the steps up to the “main road” – a road covered with gravel, basically – I look around. We came in last night and it was pretty dark, but it’s pretty much what I expected to find: trees and cabins and not much else.

I look down the road and see Kevin sitting on a step down a ways and make my way over. He’s looking out at nothing, holding a coffee mug and turns to smile at me when I get closer. “You don’t look like you’ve got cold feet. That’s a good sign, huh?” I ask and sit next to him.

He wraps his arm around my shoulder in a quick hug and chuckles. “Nope, no cold feet,” he says quietly.

“Heavy thinking? You looked a million miles away. Or, are you trying to do the catering in your head?” I tease.

“Just some thinking…it’s really happening,” he says with an easy smile. “I’m kind of stunned… I mean, I moved here when I was like ten or eleven. I never considered I’d actually get married here, or care about it as much, when we first came. And look at me now… I’m getting married at home, all the memories I have here…” His voice trails off for a minute and he looks around, like he’s seeing the memories unfold before his eyes. He keeps looking out in the distance and says quietly, “my dad’s here, man. That’s all that’s important to me…” He glances over and gives me a smile. “Well, I kind of need the rest of y’all…and Kris, and all that, but...”

“I know what you meant, Kev,” I say and I think I can feel his dad lingering around here. Calm and peaceful and watching over things; comforting…it’s very comforting here. Being here somehow makes me understand Kevin. It’s like he absorbed what was here and brings it with him or something. I understand why he loves it so much now, at least. It’s a world away from anything I’ve ever seen, stuff seen in Disney films and all that. His entire life is a Disney movie, isn’t it? Charmed and enchanted and happily ever afters. Thing is, I can’t think of anyone that doesn’t deserve it more. “Welcome home, huh?”

He chuckles easily and takes a sip of his coffee. “Yeah, something like that, I guess.” He stretches a second and turns to rest his back against the wall and drapes his arm over a bent knee. “So, y’all got in okay last night?”

“Nick may wearing a pair of shorts and the tee shirt he slept in,” I say. “They lost his luggage.”

“Dude, no way!”

“Yeah, he’s freakin’ a bit, but it’ll be fine. Between us, I think we’ll have something for him if it doesn’t show up soon.”

He shakes his head with a quick eye roll. “Only Nicky,” he sighs.

“Not your worry…you’ve got other things to obsess about,” I tell him, resting my arms down on my knees and look around just as we hear trucks pulling up down the way a bit.

“That’ll be the caterers, I think,” he says, glancing down the road. “Or something…” He laughs lightly. “I don’t even know at this point, it’s all in Kristin’s hands now. I just have to get over to the cabin and get dressed.”

“Which cabin are you in?”

He points across the way and points out which one, a larger one with a deck. “The whole family’ll be there pretty soon. Y’all should come by and hang…you’re family.” I look at him as he looks over the grounds. We are family now, aren’t we? “And I’ll call my brother and have him pick up something, just in case, for Nicky on his way in. That’s the best man’s job, ain’t it? Do what I ask him, right?” He laughs and stands up. “This is the only time it’ll ever happen, I may as well take advantage of it.”

“So, if your cabin’s over there, why’re you sitting here? Checkin’ up on Kris?”

He looks up at the building behind me and smiles lightly again. “Nah, she’s fine.” He says that with such conviction, it makes me wish I had someone I could know that well. “We lived here before we built the main house up the road. Just reminiscing, that’s all.” He turns around slowly and absorbs a bit more. “We’ve come a long way, AJ, haven’t we?”

Sitting here, listening to the sounds, seeing the trees and cabins, it hits me just how far he’s come. I at least had a city, of sorts, suburbs, anyway…civilization. It wasn’t far for me to get into noise and mayhem. But this? This was determination…like I said, being here makes me understand him so much more. He doesn’t even have to say anything for me to get it. “Thing is, Kev, we’re just getting started, aren’t we? Especially you…you’re starting a whole new life again.”

He doesn’t even seem to be nervous about it. Somehow, he looks like he just relaxed with the thought and offers me a gentle smile. “It’s a good life, Aje,” he tells me with a slow, contented nod, “dang good life.”

July

AJ

There’s a lot of blood in my alcohol, but I don’t really care at the moment. Damn, it’s expensive to tie one on here, but I didn’t seem to mind last night. We’ve finished recording and will be flying home in a few hours, and hey, if I’m drunk enough or hung over enough, to sleep for the entire flight, I don’t see anything all that bad about losing a few hundred dollars!

The hotel room is a mess. I don’t think I knew a whole heck of a lot of people who were here, but outside of being a little loud, they seemed pretty cool, especially the, uh, perky brunette who kept smiling over at me. God bless Swedish genes, man… They’re something else, I tell ya! I just finished saying good-bye to her when the bodyguard came up to get me and he didn’t seem all that excited about it. Dude, it’s not like he’s going to have to explain what happened in here to hotel management…and it’s our publicist that’s going to have to bitch to management, who will then bitch at me. What’s he worried about? Throw some more money at someone and it’ll go away, right? That seems to be how the system works, that much I’m finding out. Just keep throwing money at people and you’re okay.

I’m definitely still drunk, though. The ride to the airport is like some kind of Disney ride and my head is slowly starting to ache. Just a little longer, then I can pass out in some cushy chair and be left alone to sleep it off. It’s the only way flying is bearable anymore. I get so fuckin’ bored anymore on these things!

I’ve pissed off a few people though. In our little waiting area, the only greetings I get are glares and hostile silence. I didn’t not invite them! They could have had some fun with me, go ahead, be pissed off. I’m tired of having y’all around, anyway.

“Are you sober enough to fly?” Brian asks me after I flop down into a chair near the window while we wait to board. LeighAnne is looking at me with big, blue eyes, nervous, I think? What the hell is she nervous about?

“’M fine, dawg,” I mumble at him, and sound a lot drunker than I really am. That’s not good, y’all. Brian seems to wince a little and pulls away slightly.

“You’re wasted,” he grumbles with a shake of his head. Oh, darn, I’ve disappointed Brian! Like that’s hard to do? I just roll my eyes back at him and turn awkwardly to look out and see if our plane is docked. It’s not…damn! “What was that last night? Who were those people?” I just shrug, deciding it’s better not to answer that question. Saying ‘I don’t know’ somehow seems like it’d be the wrong answer. “AJ?” Brian asks, looking squarely at me. “Who were those people?”

“Friends,” I tell him. At least, they were friends last night. They were out. They were hanging out with me. They wanted to have a good time which is more than I can say for what the rest of them wanted to do. What happened to my friends? They used to know how to have fun!

“Since when?” Brian asks, looking confused.

“What does it matter to you?” I snap in response.

“Just trying to find out why I wasn’t able to get an ounce of sleep, that’s why!” he snaps back. “Y’know, other people were in the hotel last night. There were people in the room next to you!”
I shrug again, blowing him off, which only pisses him off more. “You really are one hell of a son of a bitch, you know that?”

“Did you come over and ask us to shut up?” I ask, turning to glare at him…not that he can see through my sunglasses, but I think he gets the effect anyway.

“Would there have been a point?”

“How would you know if you didn’t try?”

“I shouldn’t have to if you had an ounce of consideration for someone other than yourself,” he grumbles and stands up, walking across the waiting room to sit down on the opposite side of the room with LeighAnne being pulled by the hand. I swear someone put KrazyGlue on their palms.

A little while later, I’m settled in my seat, no one next to me, thankfully. Pretty soon I’ll be passed out. My head is pounding, the whole world is spinning…hang over’s really suck, for the record. As the flight crew prepares for take off, and we taxi down the runway, I can feel someone drop into the seat next to me and I open one eye to see who it is. Great…Kevin’s turn to lecture me.

“I know you’re not asleep yet,” he says, buckling up and nudging me with his knee. “Did you drink any water?”

“I think there was ice in one of the drinks I had,” I answer him, settling back against the window with my pillow.

“Aje,” he starts, lowering his voice, “what’s going on, man? This isn’t like you.”

“This is me with a hangover,” I say plainly, “wanting to sleep it off. It’s the only way to fly.”

“This isn’t because we’re flying,” he tells me, nudging me again this time with his hand. “You weren’t flying two nights ago, and you did the same thing.”

“Kev, can you not lecture me for the next eight hours? All we’re gonna do is fight. I was out having a good time. You all remember what it’s like to have a good time, right? At least, you used to. I was just having a good time. Now, I want to sleep. That’s all there is to it, okay?”

He seems to hesitate, biting his bottom lip briefly as he looks at me before settling back in the seat as we take off. “I don’t think that’s it,” he says once we’re airborne. “But I’ll leave it alone for now. You’re right, all we’ll do is fight.” I don’t say anything and reposition the pillow under my head. “But, Aje? If you ever want to talk to someone…” I just look at him. What the hell does that mean? I must have some kind of look on my face because he sort of backs off a little. “Just…whatever, okay? If you want to talk, I’m here.”

September

Kevin

This so isn’t a big deal, right? It’s minor surgery…I’ll be in and out the same day and up and around and fine by the time we have to head over to England for press and stuff next week. It’s just not a big deal… At least, that’s what they keep telling me. And they also tell me it’s normal to be a little jittery beforehand. It is still surgery, after all, to fix up my knee. It’ll hurt for a while, but it won’t be the continuous throbbing it’s been these last few months. And it needs to be done before we get moving for the tour or I’m just going to be in misery the whole time. So it makes sense, right? To do it all now? I’ll be in and out and fine in no time. I mean, if Brian can have heart surgery and be back on stage in six weeks, I can’t be a wimp about a little same-day surgery.

Somehow, I’m not convincing myself of all this though. But I keep trying as I sit here watching the other fellas get their staging. It’s a beautiful old theatre we’re filming in, keeping it simple this time around, which is great. I can get my shots done and go and they’ll finish up tomorrow without me. I’m a little uncomfortable because I’ve never had to bail early on a video shoot. I never had to bail early on anything, I don’t think. At least, not with prior notice. Anything I’ve ever missed out on was purely because of some kind of accident that kept me from doing it. This isn’t an accident. It’s actually planned…

And I really have to stop thinking about it. It’s not a big deal! It’s not!

“Kevin? Care to join the rest of your classmates down here?” Matt, the director, asks with a casual smile.

Perfect…this is what I need…stay involved. Don’t let myself think about it. Throw yourself into work, Kev. That always keeps you better focused. Pay attention to the here and now, not the ‘what could be’ tomorrow…

~

“Come on, Sweetheart, it’s time to open your eyes…”

‘But it’s real hard to do that!’ I want to say, and can’t. I’m too tired…in a deep, dark fog.

“Your wife is here… It’s time for you to go home now… You just have to open your eyes, Sweetheart…”

‘I’m trying!’

I feel fingers brushing my hair back and it’s so soothing… “Kev? Baby? Come on, wake up.” That’s Kris and I struggle to open my eyes to her. When I do, she’s close and smiling down at me gently. “There you are,” she says softly. “It’s all over, Baby. Everything is fine. It’s time to go home now.” Last thing I remember, I was in post-op. I don’t remember coming down to this room, or how I even got into this bed. I’m a little freaked out, but Kristin keeps smoothing my hair back and leans over to kiss me gently. “It’s all fine, Baby. You’re all fixed up. The doctors said it went great.” All I do is nod. I can’t do much else…confused, tired. “Stay awake, Baby. I know it’s hard, but you have to stay awake for now. You can sleep when we get home, okay?” I just nod again, but feel my eyes closing regardless of what I attempt to do.

“He should sit up,” someone says, and there’s someone jostling me lightly, telling me to wake up now, telling me to sit up a little. “Drink some juice,” they say, and I flutter my eyes open, doing my best to do as I’m told. I slide heavily and sit up a little more, resting my eyes in between breathing, struggling to stay awake. The cup of apple juice in my hands and it feels really cold in my grasp, but I realize just how thirsty I actually am when I take a sip and finish the juice in just about one swallow after that. The cold slides down my ribcage and it helps me wake up a little more.

Kristin’s sitting on the small bed along side of me and rubbing my thigh over the thin blanket. “It went well, Kev,” she tells me again, and I nod at her, attempting to smile. Everything is a struggle when your entire body just wants to drop off to sleep. “How do you feel?”

“Okay, I guess,” I manage to answer, forcing myself to focus on something other than sleep. How do I feel? Do I feel anything at all? I just feel kind of…dazed, really. Disjointed.

“I got your things,” she says, motioning to the pile of clothes neatly folded on the foot of the bed. “Do you need help getting dressed? Your leg is wrapped pretty tight, you’re not going to be able to bend it.”

“I need help moving,” I tell her, again attempting to smile. “All I want to do is sleep.”

“In the car,” she tells me, getting off the bed. “We have to pick up your prescription and then we can go home and you can sleep the rest of the day if you want.”

“What time is it?” I slowly make an attempt to push the blanket back and start moving, but she’s right, my leg isn’t bending in the least and it’s all a little awkward.

“Three o’clock,” she says and again my mind is blown. My surgery was at eight…where’d the time go? How long was I out for? How did I get into recovery? Into this bed? Where’d the time go?

October

AJ

I hate Carson Daly. Just in case there’s any confusion, I want to set the record straight. I hate him. He’s a complete asshole, but as usual, we’re here and he’s kissing our asses. I actually think he might like Kevin – I think it’s an age thing – but the rest of us? He just humors us and we just humor him. It’s good for our ratings, and the fans…

Well, the fans are just off the chain, so that’s cool. I’d rather be out in the audience, talking to them than answer Carson’s stupid questions, but I’m not allowed to do that either. They’d eat me alive in the frenzy. It’s still amazing to me…their reactions to us. I just don’t get it. Would they be so freaked out if they saw us every day? When we just wake up scruffy and smelly, ‘cause trust me, we can be pretty rank sometimes. (Especially Nicky…psyche!)

What the hell is it about us that causes them to freak out?

I suppose I shouldn’t really question it too much and just enjoy the ride. At least, that’s what I try to tell myself. It won’t last forever. It never does. As soon as something starts going really great, it gets pulled out from under us, doesn’t it? And like Kevin says, we gotta enjoy the good times while its happening – enjoy the journey and not think of the destination and all that crap. It’s not as easy as it sounds. I mean, sure, it’s easy when you find out there’re fans lined up around the block, blocking traffic and you just hear that massive roar of excitement, almost feel that energy, you know? But when you’re stuck in some hotel room, alone, bored, isolated…it’s kind of hard to believe that any of it even happened. It’s too surreal. It’s too ‘out there’ to think it was ever real and wonder what the hell you’re doing after all. You’re looking at this huge schedule, an agenda that goes on for pages and pages, people, places, TV shows, radio shows, newspaper and magazine interviews. It’s a whole other question of what the hell…?

Or maybe, how the hell…? How the hell are we supposed to do all of this? What the hell could they possibly want to know about us? We’re a bunch of geeks! We’re the same guys they didn’t want to talk to a few months ago…what the hell changed for any of them to care now? You know? I mean, one thing I’ll give Carson, he didn’t like us then, he doesn’t like us now…at least he’s honest about it, right?

But then I realize, isn’t this what I was aiming for all along? Wasn’t I supposed to want this whole being rich and famous thing in the first place? Isn’t this why I started in the industry? The attention? The applause? The fame? It was somehow different when I was six and playing with puppets, maybe because I was playing with puppets and didn’t feel like I was one of them. Well, not me personally. Inside my head, I’m still some scared little kid waiting for people to realize I’m just playing the part. I’m not really AJ, I just play him on TV. He loves all this…it’s Alex that’s not too excited about it all. AJ’s taking the performance to new levels, not just on stage anymore. But that might be because our stage isn’t just a defined area in some venue anymore. Our stage is everywhere, now. From the moment I wake up, until the moment I go to sleep, I have to be on…just in case. Just in case we meet someone, just in case there’s a fan outside, just in case there’s a hidden camera, just in case…just in case….just in case….

And just in case you think it’s all nonsense, this whole AJ/Alex thing? AJ’s been talking and singing this whole time…you just don’t know it. You just don’t know Alex, but that’s okay. Neither does AJ anymore.

Kevin

I can’t believe they’re actually pulling this off. I still can’t believe it, even if we’re all sitting here at the planning meeting, going over the schedule. It’s fiction! It reads like some kind of fiction – and it’s the size of a miniature novel anyway. Around the World in 4 Days…? Hell, even the writer gave his character 80! I’m amazed… No matter how many times I look at the itinerary, I’m amazed. Sweden, Japan, Australia, South Africa, South America, New York…in four days!

Just looking at this thing is making my head spin…12 hours on the ground in Japan, 14 hours in Australia! Cape Town, 5 hours, Rio…uh, I think 11… It’s insanity! It’s amazing…it’s never been done before, so that’s cool an’ all, but…dang! This is amazing! It’s never going to work…is it? How can it? It’s got to…it’s all here and black and white. On paper it’s all good, but in reality? We’re supposed to pull this off? Interviews on the ground and in the air? Radio stations and camera crews? Did they schedule any sleeping time? A break, wait…there’s one. We might need one longer than 10 minutes, fellas, don’t you think? We might kill each other before this is over. Do they realize this? Do they really want footage of Backstreet ripping each other new one’s after we’re sick of looking at each other for this long? I mean, sure, we tour an’ all, but even on tour we get away from each other longer than 10 minutes.

This is going to be…I don’t know what. Amazing. It’s really going to be amazing. A once in a lifetime opportunity. No time for ‘Backstreet Time’ this time around. Our best behavior, our best efforts, more than ever, we need be the professionals I know we can be. And we need to do this as just us. No wives, no girlfriends, just us or else we’ll get distracted, won’t we? We’ll be taxing down the runway and realize we forgot Nicky in Cape Town or something. It’s gonna be too much chaos to bring anyone along, which is gonna kinda suck. Something this cool happening to us and we won’t be able to share it. I know already, the fellas are gonna hate me because I’m gonna share it with them, and I’m gonna be pointing out all this stuff to them that they already know. They don’t need my reminders, but I do it anyway, don’t I? They’re gonna hate me. Hell, they might be leaving me behind in Cape Town!

“Four days on a plane?” AJ is mumbling incomprehensively. “Four days?”

“It’s a nice plane, Aje,” Howie says, attempting to soothe him. Poor guy picked the wrong career for not liking to fly. “You probably won’t even know it’s a plane.”

AJ looks up at him, lifting his eyebrows in disbelief. “Is it gonna be in the air?” Howie kind of grins and shrugs. “Than I’ll know it’s a fuckin’ plane, Howie!” he tells him as Howie tries not to laugh. I do it for him, and get smacked in the arm playfully by AJ. “Man, I tell ya, if we survive this, we’ll survive anything, huh?” AJ muses aloud. “Gaw-damn…” he mutters, flipping the page of his agenda. He flips another page, and mutters again. “Gaw-damn!”

“Dude, it’s twenty pages,” Nicky giggles. “Spare us the twenty ‘Gaw-damns’, will ya?”

“This is a once in a lifetime thing, fellas,” I say, looking at each of them around the table. The sun’s streaming in through the window, the sky is blue and crisp, and it’s like the heaven’s have shone upon us to make this point clear. “Do you realize…”

“When do we leave?” AJ interrupts and flips through the agenda back to the front page. “How long do we have to listen to Kevin wax philosophical about this whole thing?”

“For the rest of your natural life, AJ,” I answer him.

“Well, it can’t be long than, ‘cause we’ll never survive this in one piece,” he mumbles, shaking his head. “You’re all trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

“There’s cheaper ways to kill you off, man,” Howie tells him with a chuckle. “We could just fire you and bring in…”

“Joey Fatone,” Nicky fills in the blank with his own giggling.

“Hey! There’s an idea!” Brian says, dropping his agenda on the table and leaning forward. “Why don’t we mix it up a bit? Really see if they know the difference between us? We leave Nicky and AJ behind and bring Joey and Justin in their place!”

“I like that idea! They’re not doing any traveling right now, are they?” AJ perks up as we all laugh at the idea. It would be a test, that’s for sure. One, I’m sure no one but the fans would know.

“And break the hearts of all those AJ fans around the world?” I ask sympathetically. “Now that’s just not fair.”

“Ah, it was just an idea,” Brian chuckles, picking up the agenda again. “I guess we’re stuck with ‘em.”

“Guess so,” Howie agrees.

“Yeah, we love you, too, fellas,” Nicky grumbles, but there’s still a hint of a giggle in his voice.