Life For Rent
Page 2

“What’s up with you?” Ray asked, dropping his bag on the bed.

Anna peered in the room from where she was cooking in the kitchen, trying her best to look, feel, innocent. “What?” she asked.

“Why are you all cheery? I expected to get the 3rd degree for staying in New York last night.” He leaned against the wall in the hallway, watching her with his hands in his back pockets.

She lifted a shoulder and turned back to the noodles boiling, stirring. “It was a hell of a storm.”

“Yeah.”

“Besides, you were probably tired from doing those interviews all day, the last thing you probably wanted to do was drive three hours. Did you get to hang with Tom at all?” If she avoided looking at him, maybe she wouldn’t give away the fact that she really wasn’t disappointed he stayed away.

“Yeah, we just went to the bar near him.”

“Cool. How’s he doing?”

And that was how easy it was to lie to Ray. When they went outside on the deck and Ray invited Kevin to dinner to discuss his interviews, she wondered how they both managed to pretend nothing happened between them. They teased one another, joked like they usually did. All the while, she remembered how he tasted, how he felt inside of her, touched her. Standing at the sink rinsing the dinner dishes, she listened to the sound of his voice drift inside through the sliding glass doors. She couldn’t make out words, but just hearing the low rumble of it made her wish Ray was still in New York.

Do what felt right, he said. Technically, they had a fling. Technically, they had an affair. It counted as an affair if it was just one night, right? But all she wanted was for him to come inside and touch her again. She wanted to turn around and find herself in his arms. She wanted – to be wanted. Ray hadn’t looked at her, touched her like Kevin had in months, maybe years. Whatever happened between them now happened between gigs and rehearsals. She was inconvenient as a partner, but it was more inconvenient to break up, she assumed. Or he just was truly that involved in his career that everyone was inconvenient, which was a distinct possibility. They’d grown tired of each other, no surprises, no more conversations, only insults.

At first they were playful little comments, a little bit of a tease. Now, he barely bothered to make an attempt at being constructive. Perhaps he thought he was being playful. Maybe she was just being too sensitive, but it didn’t feel that way anymore. And he didn’t bother to smile when he pointed out the flaws, her weight, her clothes, her hair. After meeting ‘the beautiful people’ when he signed onto the label, she was no longer on par. She felt she had to catch up – until last night. Last night, she felt amazing. Last night she felt as if there was nothing wrong with her. When she tried to cover herself, Kevin pulled her hands away, the towel back just to drink her in, admire her. She felt attractive and no definition she thought of for what they’d done could take away that single moment. She was attractive.

“What are you doing? Waiting for the coffee beans to grow thumbs and grind themselves?” Ray asked, sticking his head inside the sliding glass doors.

“Cleaning up your dirty dishes,” she snapped in return. “You can either, make your own damn coffee, or wait two seconds and say please.”

He tilted his head and stared at her for a moment. “Today – please.”

“Screw you. Do it yourself.” She dropped the towel on the counter and folded her arms with a shrug.

He pushed past her and opened the cabinet. “Wouldn’t be the first time,” he murmured. “And it’ll be better without you. I’ll also make the coffee.” He turned and looked at her. “So glad I came home to this.”

“You didn’t have to come home on my account.” She walked out of the room and out to the deck, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. Kevin watched her curiously, and she thought there was a hint of concern in his expression.

Before they could speak, Ray came out to the deck and took a seat. “Do you mind? We’re working,” he said to Anna.

She smiled and headed down the deck steps towards the beach without looking back, wondering where the guilt was. She didn’t want to fight with Ray, but she didn’t want to be insulted and bossed around either. Maybe whatever happened last night would change things. Maybe she wouldn’t just accept his behavior knowing other people respect her. She looked over her shoulder up to the deck, seeing Kevin watching her intently, nodding at whatever Ray was saying to him. Distracted, it seemed. He did respect her, didn’t he? Last night wasn’t just – well, yes, it was just sex – but he didn’t think less of her for being with him. He was there too, after all.

And the way he watched her now, she knew whatever it was that happened between them suspended them together somehow. What does ‘what feels right’ actually mean? Does that mean it was one night only? Does that mean it happens again? That she waits for him to make the next move? That she should? And what happens if more than sex happens – like emotions. She held Kevin’s gaze from where she stood, feeling the sun’s warmth still in the sand as she kept her distance. Was it already too late?

Ray kept talking to him, but he’d stopped paying attention. It wasn’t about business anymore, anyway. Now Ray was going off about relationships and girlfriends and what hassles they could be. Guy talk. But Kevin wasn’t interested in the comments and it was all he could do to hold his tongue and not scold Ray for the way he talked to Anna. He tore his eyes off her standing in the surf now, watching the water, and looked at Ray. He wasn’t anything like him. Ray had a fair complexion, his hair was shorter, sort of wavy, and dirty blonde. His eyes were a cold ocean blue and he was tall and skinny. He would say attractive if he was pressed, but not in a rugged, outdoorsy way. More like a pasty European way. He wondered what she thought of him – a dark contrast to who she was engaged.

Looking back to Anna, though, she wasn’t like Kris in the least, either, and he didn’t spend any time until now even attempting to compare them. But isn’t that what women did? Didn’t they compare? He looked back to Ray. How did he measure up to him? Did she compare them before, during or after? At all? He was broader in the shoulders than Ray, slimmer in the hips. More muscular everywhere. How did he measure up to what she was used to having?

He must have pleased her. He tried to, at any rate. She seemed pleased. She said it was good…amazing. But was that because Ray never bothered to please her? Was she just saying that to make him feel okay about what they did? But if she felt awkward, or bad afterwards, she wouldn’t have let him stay the night. She wouldn’t have slept in his arms. She wouldn’t have done it again. She wouldn’t have kissed him like she had. Isn’t that another way to tell? Didn’t girls take kissing more importantly than guys?

And was he really sitting here wondering about stereotypes watching his clients’ fiancé as his client talked trash? Not even six months into the new career and he was sleeping with his clients’ woman. This wasn’t supposed to happen anymore. It was part of why he quit the group. He was supposed to get serious with Kris, stop the wandering, be home to share the marital pleasures because now he could. He didn’t have to be anywhere else. Instead, he made up an excuse about needing to stay for Ray and spent the night with Anna. It was all so wrong. He knew it when he made the call, but it didn’t keep him from making it, or going to her after he made it. He also didn’t jump on the next plane out the morning after.

And he didn’t stop watching her. How Ray couldn’t know something was going on surprised him. Anna wasn’t acting guilty. She was somehow stronger, standing up to him. She somehow didn’t look at Kevin and give it all away, either. During dinner, he almost forgot that Ray was around. They carried on teasing one another and talking about the various people walking on the beach, sharing vacation stories from when they were younger. Ray ate. Shared nothing and when Kevin asked him questions, he said it was in one of his songs. For a musician, someone with such a inde following, with so much inde-cred, he shared no emotion. He was his producer after all, he should be close to him so he knew what to do for his songs, the kind of treatment he needed for them.

Then again, sleeping with his fiancé wasn’t going to bring on a flood of trust if Ray ever found out. Some producer….

“Ray?” He wasn’t even sure if Ray was talking when he spoke. “Do you love her?”

“What?”

“Do you love her?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

He watched her sitting on the beach now, letting the sand drizzle through her fingers as her hair blew in the wind, catching strawberry colored highlights in her hair. “I’m just curious about you two, that’s all. You seem so…different.”

“Well, we are different, man. She’s got tits,” Ray laughed. Ray turned and looked over his shoulder. Kevin presumed he was looking at her at least. “More of them now that she’s fat.”

“Dude, come on, fat?” He turned back to Kevin as if Kevin was insane. “How’d you meet her anyway?”

Ray let out a sort of grunt. “Dude, she followed me everywhere one summer. I swear, every time I turned around, her friend and her was right there. One night, after having a few, her friend told me that she liked me, and we hung out and hooked up. And that was that. We’ve been together since.

“You can’t be together all this time, and ask her to marry you based on the fact that she’s got some tits.”

“Hell no! It helps that she comes from money. I mean, she’s no model or anything, but I don’t have to worry about her cheating on me, right?”

Calm. Calm. Calm. Stay calm. Don’t choke trying to breathe.

Thankfully, Ray got up to get the coffee and gave Kevin a minute to collect himself, try to change the subject back to music and not get any further into this. He had no right even questioning this relationship. He watched Anna letting the sand slip through her fingers from a distance and her hair blow in the ocean wind. He couldn’t do a single thing about this relationship. It wasn’t his job, his business. She deserved better, but it wasn’t up to him. She dusted the sand from her hand and stood up, glanced over to the deck and started down the beach. Watching her, he had a feeling none of what he just found out was news to her.

When Kevin walked into his house, she was sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of water. “Hope you don’t mind,” she said lifting the bottle. “I didn’t want to go back while you were talking business and needed someplace to hide.”

“No, that’s fine.” He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and looked at her. “You okay?”

“Yeah. You finished?”

“Yeah. I’m heading back tomorrow.”

“Thought so.” She finished the water and stood up. “Keep in touch, okay?” It was a very tender kiss, placed on his cheek, and her hand rested warm on his arm as she leaned up to give it to him.

“You can do so much better.” The words came out of his mouth before she pulled away and he reached behind her neck and held her close, looking down into her eyes. “You can.”

“It works when we let it,” she answered with a slight smile.

“Just know that you can do better,” he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek in return, still holding her close, wanting to do more, aware of her body close to him, and more aware of Ray only a few feet away to catch them if he tried.

She tilted her head up and kissed him tenderly, lingering until he gave in to it. Both hands rested on her waist, pulling her hips against his, exploring into the kiss as his hand tangled into her hair. Her skin and hair still smelled of beach and tanning lotion from earlier. He pulled back, remembering Ray was next door. Couldn’t he look in the window and see them? But the blinds were already drawn against the glaring setting sun – or Anna already had this in mind and drew them herself. Either way, Ray wasn’t going to peer in through the window to see them.

“What about…”

He started whispering, but she placed a finger over his lips and shook her head wordlessly. Her hands slid up beneath the tee shirt he was wearing to caress him, fondle his nipples before he pulled it over his head. By then his erection was growing stronger and he wasn’t going to turn her away. She had his swim trunks untied next and lowered down to her knees, her sweet, hot breath panting heavily against him before taking him into her mouth slowly. As her tongue rounded his tip, he had to hold onto the lip of the counter for balance as the pleasure spread through his limbs. She found a rhythm quickly and soon his heart was pounding along with it, his body getting swept up and ready release.

Before it could, he pulled away and dropped onto his knees next to her, pushing her down onto the floor as he tugged at her shorts, needing to be inside of her. She laughed, and he found himself laughing with her until he sunk himself between her legs, already warm and wet waiting for his entry. The laughter turned into low grunts, and she pulled at his hips, grinding them hard against her own.

When he lost all sense of rhythm and came, he moaned against her shoulder to keep from calling out. She continued to pull at his hips, whimpering with her pleasure until she froze beneath him with her own orgasm, gasping for breath and chuckling slightly. “He’s in an entirely different house and we’re acting as if he could hear us,” she chuckled.

“Well,” he answered quietly, pulling up on his arms to look down at her. He slid a strand of hair off her forehead and kissed her quickly, “it’s not like there’s a whole lotta room between houses. He probably could hear us if we let ourselves go.”

Her answer was a long, lingering kiss before she slid out from beneath him and started dressing. Wordlessly, he did the same, keeping his eyes on her curiously. “Keep in touch, okay?” She stepped back, letting her fingers linger and slide along his arm as she headed towards the door.

She hated girl shoes. They pinched her toes and hurt her ankles and were useless for walking quickly. Traffic was at a stand still on the street beside her as she tried getting to 1234 for her meeting. It had looked so pretty from her office window, bright and sunny, but now that she was on the street, she was deep in the shadow of the buildings, her feet hurt and no one could walk in front of her. She wanted to push herself through the tourists in front of her and if they stopped suddenly once more to look at the map, that’s exactly what she was going to do.

She didn’t even bother to look at the number on her screen when her cell phone rang. It was her father calling to ask where she was. “Hello?”

“Anna?” She stopped, instead of the tourists, and was briskly pushed aside.

“Yeah…”

“Hey, hi…it’s Kev. Kevin.”

“Yeah, I know.” Suddenly she felt too dressed in her skirt and business jacket. She really wanted to kick off her heels and longed for flip-flops and her bathing suit. “How are you? What the hell are you doing? Isn’t it like, 5am there?”

“It’s 6:37,” he chuckled. “And I’m on my way to the gym. I thought I’d give you a call. What’s up? Am I interrupting anything?”

“Pedestrian traffic,” she answered. “I’m attempting to get to a meeting but I’m wearing girl shoes and there are too many other people in this damn city.” Her heart wanted to dance into the middle of the street as it thumped against her chest singing ‘he called me! He called me!’ Instead, she listened to him laugh. “Do you always go to the gym at the crack of dawn? Is torture some kind of thing with you?”

“I haven’t been going enough lately, so I’m trying to fit it into my schedule again. Some days it’s torture, but that’s part of why I called you. It’s less of a chore if I get to do something special like talk with you on my way.”

She was going to piss off every person on the sidewalk if she kept stopping mid-step like she’d just done. Or she was going to be hit by a taxi crossing the street. “You are so sweet. So, what are you doing otherwise? How’s the biz?” She gave up trying to get to the meeting on time and stepped into a coffee shop. She could get her coffee and not get killed trying to talk to him.

“It’s going okay,” he answered before he yelled ‘argh, asshole!’

“Excuse me?”

“Someone just cut me off,” he grumbled, laughing. “Sorry. Anyway, it’s going okay. I’m looking into signing someone new and…”

“Medium mocha latte, skim milk.”

“What?”

“I’m ordering coffee,” she answered. “Sorry. So, who are you signing? Anyone that will bring you back to the East coast?”

“It’s possible.”

She loved the sound of his voice. She loved that she could hear an undertone to what he was saying – that he may be coming to the East Coast and they could get together again. “That’s very cool, then.”

“Yeah, I thought so. Jesus, you little….” He exhaled deeply. “Sorry.”

“Same guy or someone new cutting you off? You sure you can drive and talk at the same time?” she teased.

“Different guy and are you sure you can drink and walk in girl shoes?” he replied.

“I can’t do anything in girl shoes,” she laughed.

“How’s the beach these days?”

“Over,” she sighed. “We left two weeks ago and I’ve been back at work. It’s very depressing.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I kind of miss that beach myself. You more.”

She leaned against the pole as she waited for her drink to come up and was thankful it was there considering her knees just gave out – and it had nothing to do with the heels. She laughed lightly. “And I was just thinking when I heard your voice that I was wearing too many clothes.”

“Now you’re gonna make me cause an accident.”

“If it’s that easy to do, you shouldn’t be talking and driving at the same time,” she replied with a laugh before lowering her voice and looking around to see if anyone was listening. “And if you were here, I’d be making you do something completely different.”

“Ah, now, that’s just mean,” he laughed. “But listen, when I get my schedule figured out, should I call?”

“Call, yes.” Her drink was called and she hurried out of the shop. “I can try to get a meeting or two in New York when you have to be there and we could maybe meet.”

“Sounds good. You have to get to your meeting, now, don’t you?”

“I’m already late and stalled as much as I could,” she answered, no longer caring who was in front of her. She was coming up to City Hall and the sun was beaming down on her as she waited for the light to change. She’d be at 1234 in less than five minutes and not be paying attention at all to whatever they said. His voice and his laugh would be ringing in her ear.

“I’ll try to give you a call later in the week. Maybe in the evening when you can wear something a little more comfortable, eh?”

“Or nothing at all,” she replied quickly.

“You’re gonna cause an accident,” he said with a laugh. “Have a good meeting.”

“Thanks. Thanks for calling, too.” She could feel herself shaking the rest of the way to her meeting. He called me! He called me! She wanted to grab the next person on the street and jump up and down with them in excitement. She felt like some silly high school kid, but it didn’t matter. Even if she never saw him again, she knew it wasn’t just some summer fling. A convenience booty call. He was across the country and called to talk to her. He was thinking about her.

“What happened, Anna?” Her father greeted her in the lobby and kissed her cheek. “We’re late.”

“Sorry, Dad, I had to take a call,” she answered, surprising herself at how easily the lie came out of her mouth. “I may need to go up to the New York office and meet with them.”