Life For Rent
Page 4

He answered the door, peering around it before opening it wider for her to come through. As she did, he whistled and closed the door behind her. “Look at you! You’re a…a…suit!”

“I can be as professional as the next woman, yes.” She leaned against one of the chair backs and slipped out of her shoes, wiggling her toes into the plush carpeting.

“Dang, that’s sexy.”

“Oh you are so easy.” She looked at him reaching behind her neck to unclasp her necklace.

He crossed the room and stood behind her, putting his hands on her waist. “No, that’s sexy.” He reached his hand up along her torso and arm and finished unclasping her necklace. “And I’m sorry you had such a hard day.”

She rested back against his chest and closed her eyes. “I’ve had worse.”

“Have you?”

“Normally, I don’t have nights like last night to think back on.”

“Well, I promise, tonight will be a lot more sane, a lot more calm and I’ll even let you get some sleep.” He leaned down to wrap his arms around her waist and hold her close, resting his chin on her shoulder. “So, do you prefer vanilla and lavender, or moonlight rose?” Leading her towards the bathroom filled with plain white candles already burning, he explained “bath salts.” A thick white hotel robe draped over the sink, and thicker terry cloth towels hanging over the side of the tub.

“Damn, you’re good.”

“I learned a few things along the way. I speak exhaustion.”

“Good thing since you created it.”

“I wasn’t the only person in that bed,” he protested with a laugh. “I wasn’t hearin’ you say ‘gee, no, I’d rather sleep, Kev.’”

She touched her finger to his lips. “You may tonight.”

“That’s fine.” He kissed her fingertip. “Right now, how about you tell me if you prefer vanilla-lavender or moonlight rose and we can get you relaxed. We have room service coming and nothing to do for the rest of the night.”

She stretched up to her toes, placing her hands on his shoulders and kissed him quickly. “Vanilla-lavender.”

“Good choice.” He nodded and returned the kiss. “Now, come.” Back in the bedroom, he sat her on the bed and handed her a glass of wine. “You just chill, enjoy your wine and I’ll go draw your bath, madam.”

“That’s Miss to you, please,” she giggled with a tilt of her head, laying back on her elbow.

“Miss…of course.”

She sipped her wine, watching Kevin lean over the tub, checking the water temperature, unable to keep from smiling. He looked over his shoulder winking at her and she couldn’t believe any of this was actually happening. How was it possible someone like him was in the bathroom drawing a bath for someone like her? Why was he so sweet to her? Why did she feel so comfortable around him?

“Your bath, Miss.” He stretched his hand out to help her from the bed. In the bathroom, he stood behind her, slowly unbuttoning of her blouse, and she never realized how soft the material was until he slid it from her skin. She never realized how tight her skirt was until he slipped it over her hips, letting it drop to the tiled floor. She watched it scatter at her feet, feeling the warmth of his kisses on the back of her neck and shoulder. His fingers fumbled slightly with the clasp of her bra until it was undone and his palms cupped her breasts gently, sliding down her torso to help her out of her panties. He stepped back, taking her hand and helped her into the bath. In that moment, under his steady gaze, even the water felt as if it was caressing her. “Okay?” he asked, leaning over to kiss her warmly. “Too hot? Too cold?”

She cupped his face and kissed him. “Perfect.”

“Good.” He handed her the wine glass and sat next to the tub. “Now, sit back, relax.”

She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She could feel the water around her, the drips his fingers drizzled over her legs, her shoulders. His smile never left his face, and his eyes never moved from hers, even as his fingers slipped under the water between her legs. “Relaxed?”

She held her breath in short intervals as he began pleasing her, swallowing heavily until she felt the rush through her body. “More than I’ve been all day.”

“You’re all flushed,” he teased, patting her face with the washcloth. “Is it too hot under there?”

She took his hand and splashed him playfully. “It’s all perfect under there now, thank you very much.” She leaned forward and kissed him deeply.

“You’re welcome very much. And you’re dang sexy when you come, you know that?” he replied into her ear before kissing her collarbone and on to her shoulder.

She just wanted to sink into him and say ‘I love you’ but knew that was the edge of danger. She couldn’t fall in love with him. The ‘l’ word meant all of this was over and she’d be back to just Ray in her life. And as his lips pressed into her neck, she wondered why she even bothered keeping Ray in her life. He had never treated her like Kevin had. He’d never shown her the kind of attention. He’d never even had the kinds of conversations they’d had.

As Kevin pulled back and smiled at her, dipping the washcloth into the water and soaping it up, she wondered how she was going to keep Ray in her life.

“What time do you need to get up?” he whispered, and she fluttered her eyes open, pulling up from his shoulder in the bed. “Sorry, sorry,” he said in a hushed voice. “I just need to know when you need to get up in the morning then you can go back to sleep.”

She put her head down and sighed. “When’s your flight?”

“Early evening. I don’t need to get up.”

“Gimme the phone.” She pulled herself up, holding the sheet against her, dialing. “Hi, Ellen, it’s Anna. I’m not feeling all that well so I’m heading back to Philly early. I won’t be in after all. Give my cell a call if you need anything but I’m just going to sleep in. Thanks.” She gave Kevin the phone and put her head back down on his shoulder. “I knew there was a reason I didn’t take those sick days.”

The lights went out and he slid down into the mattress next to her. “Sleep well, Baby,” he said gently wrapping his arm around her waist.

The soap smells still clung to her skin and hair and he inhaled deeply, unable to find lavenders supposed relaxation powers. When he closed his eyes, he saw Anna laughing at him, or her face twisted in pleasure. Not once in these three days did he think of his other life, and that was becoming a problem – at least that’s when it’s become a problem in the past. Whenever he forgot this was pretend is when it was too serious. The bigger problem was that he didn’t want this to be pretend.

She made him feel like they were both normal, as if they were just like any other couple around them. They talked about work, but it wasn’t something that consumed them. No one was taking pictures of them when they walked outside. She didn’t ask him any of the difficult questions – when are you coming back? How long are you home? When do you need to go? She just laughed with him, accepting what he could offer and released him back into the world where he had those responsibilities. If he stayed with her, that life would be transferred over to this like some kind of bank account. He wasn’t going to fool himself into thinking otherwise, but when it was dark, and he held her in his arms, listening to the soft sounds of her breathing he felt as if this was the best hiding spot on earth. She let her hair down, and he could bury himself beneath it, inhaling her while they stole time.

Kris knew there was someone. She smiled and welcomed him home, but she was holding herself back from him, studying him as he left Anna behind and remembered her. There were plenty of times when he didn’t get the chance before she headed off for another pilot, or audition. He knew there were times when he wasn’t the only man in her head. He’d been gone far too long at times that he didn’t blame her, either. Changing careers was supposed to end it all, though. This was supposed to bring them closer, make them more available to each other. They were supposed to be starting a family. Instead, he started another affair and made up excuses to travel.

Anna took him by surprise, though. He wanted to blame his weakness on the sun and the beach. He wanted to pretend that it could have been anyone. He had to admit liking her curves, and now that she’d started working out, some of them were a little tighter, but it wasn’t her body anymore. He liked making her laugh. He liked listening to her voice when she told him stories about growing up, or what happened during the day. He liked listening to her sigh and moan when he touched her, or even when all he could do was tell her what he wanted to do to her over the phone. The skin-deep theory had disappeared with their tans. Now he was just in deep, living a double life as much as she was.

He wanted to think that Ray would notice something, figure it out and catch them, make him end it. But then he spoke to Ray and he knew it would never happen. Anna wasn’t something Ray actually paid attention to and it only made Kevin want to spoil her more, knowing she was ignored all the times he wasn’t there. Imagining Anna with Ray created a twisted confusion in the pit of his belly. He didn’t want to picture her with anyone else, but knew Ray wasn’t pleasing her, didn’t care about her needs. She was vibrant and alive with him, open and giving whenever they were together.

How could Ray stifle that kind of passion? How could anyone stifle her kind of passion, period? How could she be ignored?

It wasn’t up to Kevin to make up for the choices she made in her life. He was aware of that, but he couldn’t help but want to show her tenderness, playfulness, attention whenever he could. She didn’t ask him for anything more. She didn’t tell him she was lonely or disappointed in her choices, either. It was possible he was just doing to Anna what Kris wouldn’t let him do to her. Maybe he wanted Kris to be more content, be more open to him and not so focused on her career, or what would be their next step. He was tired of planning for the next thing. He just wanted things to fall into place like they seemed to do when he was with Anna. No questions, no pressure, no decisions to make. They just lived for days they could steal away and let it become memory.

“ So, when was the last time you played hookey?” Kevin asked her coming out of the shower wrapped in a towel.

“Long time ago.” She pulled the sheets up and stretched beneath, stifling a yawn. “Too long. And this feels really nice, so that’s probably why. It’s dangerous for me to remember how nice it is to take the day off and lounge around without worrying about something needing to get done.”

“Well,” he sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over her, resting a hand over her waist, “we could worry about…” He walked his fingers up her arm. “What bad tv to watch.”

“Or, we could take a nap.” She turned on her side and curled up, wrapping her legs up around his hand, letting the blanket slide away from her back. His hand ran along her spine and she felt the hairs on her stand up. Her legs straightened and she rolled onto her back when she felt his lips press between her shoulders.

He pulled the blanket down and felt the mattress sink with his weight as he lowered himself down over her easily, kissing the back of her neck and settling in between her legs. She didn’t want to move feeling his hands slide along her arms and shoulders, down her torso to lift her hips slightly. All she wanted was to feel his touch, listen to his breathing grow heavier by touching her. Knowing she was arousing him without even trying.

His lips pressed against her spine, and with her weight shifted onto her knees, he could slide his hands under her to cup her breasts and pinch her nipples until she found herself moaning into her pillow and writhing against Kevin uncontrollably, her body searching for him to fill her and satisfy the need growing between her legs.

They shifted together on the mattress, and soon, she was facing the wall, straddling him as he guided his cock into her. Her head dropped back and caught her breath, holding him fully inside, testing herself to see how long she remain still with the pleasure. She felt his hands run up her spine again and he took a deep, struggling breath, “Oh, you feel so good, Baby,” he groaned. She had to move against him again. She had to feel the deep penetration all over again—and again—and again.

When she came, she froze with him filling her, waiting for something inside of her to actually explode with the force of the pleasure coursing through her. Kevin grunted behind her, almost whimpering when she stopped, and soon, he was shifting behind her. She was back on her knees, holding onto the headboard as Kevin held onto her waist, driving himself deep and hard inside of her with heavy breaths and guttural groans deep in his throat.

“Don’t stop, Kevin,” she urged, pushing her weight back against his thrusts. “You feel so good….”

He held her waist tight and bucked against her, frozen with his orgasm. She closed her eyes and breathed heavily, feeling him deep within and her sweat sliding over her skin. If there was a heaven, she was certain this is what it was like. Without words, his lips pressed into her spine again and his hand wrapped around her waist, holding her against him. She could still hear his quick breath and if she concentrated, she thought she could feel the beating of his heart against her back.

“My arms are going to give out,” she chuckled, and he released her, letting her turn and lie on the mattress, looking up at him with a contented smile. “Some nap.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to get out of bed either.” He lowered to kiss her and then shifted to lay beside her, making circles on her stomach with his fingertips. “So, what do you want to do today seeing as you don’t have to be responsible and work?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think far ahead. I just wanted to sleep when I called in.” She intertwined her fingers through his, looking at their hands clasped together resting on her belly, rising and falling slightly with her breath. “Have any suggestions?”

“Breakfast.”

Anna sat at her desk, looking out to the neighbors across the street sit on their stoop. Nothing was happening outside, but they sat there anyway, drinking iced tea and talking easily. In front of her a graph was showing her sales reports for the last month. Her report to the board was due the following morning and she knew she didn’t have time to sit and watch the neighbors sit, but she didn’t pull herself away either.

Ray was downstairs watching tv. She could hear the sports announcers chattering away between plays, but her head was outside. When was the last time she talked to Ray? When was the last time Ray even wanted to talk anyway even if she had tried? If she went downstairs at this very moment and tried talking to him, he’d tell her ‘later—I’m watching the game’ and later would come and go without a single sentence.

A few weeks ago, she played hookey in New York and spent an entire day with Kevin, talking. They went to breakfast at a tiny, quaint little café, walked around the Upper West Side, wandered through parts of Central Park, had lunch, walked some more, did some shopping, sight seeing, and finished with dinner in another tiny, quaint café. Names of those places didn’t matter. She only remembered the sound of their voices and laughing together. An entire day of talking and she lived with someone that even with all the years they’d lived together, she didn’t think they ever spent a day talking that much.

Laughter trickled in from the street and she felt her insides twist painfully. She looked at the computer screen and over her shoulder to the empty doorway. Every part of her body said ‘go!’ She wanted to get up from that chair and just go. It was all a lie. Everything she’d been living, feeling—doing for as long as she could remember was a lie. But she stayed in her seat knowing she had less than a year, just a few months actually, before she could take the money and run.

Her parents wanted their children to know a work ethic, not trusting that they would actually be able to instill one on their own, they had a trust fund. Each kid had to work ten years with the company before they came into their inheritance. She’d been with MacMillian fulltime since she graduated high school, part time starting at sixteen. She paid her dues, and in seven months, she’d have her choice of where to go and what to do.

Ray yelled at the quarterback on the TV and glanced back over her shoulder to the empty hallway. It wasn’t even a secret why Ray was with her. He made it perfectly clear, especially when he had too much to drink. Until now, she bought into his lies. She never felt special. She never felt pretty, or smart, or talented. She felt rich. Her entire life she knew, deep down, that whenever someone was nice to her, it was because her family had money. Whenever she wanted something, she learned all she had to do was talk about who her father was, and she was treated differently.

It worked, now she thought too well, with Ray. He wanted nothing to do with her on the boardwalk until she dropped her name and told him what her daddy did. She funded his music career since then, waiting for him to actually get to know her, to care about her. She knew he wouldn’t leave her because he needed her to bankroll him. She wasn’t going to leave him because…why? Because up until now, she believed his idea of who she was.

Now, who did she believe? It wasn’t Ray. Was it Kevin? Her father? What did she actually think herself? Did she dare consider it?

“ Dude, this mix is fuckin’ awesome!” Ray exclaimed, slapping Kevin on the back heartily. “I didn’t hear it when you were explaining it but, dude! That’s awesome!”

Kevin laughed, patting Ray’s shoulder in return before folding his hands behind his head and leaning back easily in his chair at the soundboard. “I told ya—trust me, Dawg! Are you ready to listen to me now?”

“You got it, yes.”

“Knock, knock?” Anna peered around the doorframe with a tentative smile.

“Hey, Anna.” Kevin sat forward, smiling.

“What’re you doing here?” Ray asked, looking at his watch.

“You said an hour,” she answered, glancing to Kevin with a hesitant smile.

Kevin stood, feeling awkward only kissing her cheek. He wanted to hold her tightly and explore her mouth, feel her breasts. Energized by the music, he wanted to celebrate by touching her. Instead, he pulled away and forced a plastic smile. “Did you get a chance to hear it?” he asked, motioning to the soundboard.

“A little,” she answered, barely looking at him. “What I heard was pretty amazing.”

“You should hear the whole thing,” Kevin started.

“She will,” Ray interrupted. “But right now, she’s going to wait outside. I’ll be out when I’m ready.”

“Good to see you, Kevin,” she said quietly and left with a nod.

“She could have stayed, Ray,” Kevin said eyeing Ray up curiously.

Ray closed the door behind him and shook his head. “She’s actin’ a little weird these last few days. I don’t know what’s going on and until I do, I don’t think she should have exclusive listening parties.”

“What do you mean acting weird?”

“I don’t know. She’s bitchier than usual, snapping back at the littlest thing I say or do.”

“Well, if that’s what you’ve been like with her, can you blame her?”

“I just want to give her a few days. See how she likes it when I pull back…you know, scare her a little.”

“Scare her a little?”

“Let her think I’m ready to walk, you know.”

“Oh…yeah, right. But if she’s bitchin’ at you now, you think she’s worried about you leaving?”

“She’s a lot of talk. Really, when it comes down to it, she needs me. I get her out of the house and into the cool parties. I’m the one that’s going to be famous now.”

Kevin shifted, reaching forward to twirl the straw from his soda in his fingers before forming a fist and slamming it into Ray’s face. He wanted to scream. ‘You know nothing! NOTHING about her!’ “Just be careful you don’t get yourself burned in the end,” he found himself saying, his voice sounding horribly normal as his head yelled ‘Fry, fucker! Fry!’ “I didn’t know she came with you.”

“Yeah, work or some such thing.” Ray waved his hand. “I just think she wanted to babys-sit, really. You know, doesn’t trust me in the Big Apple alone anymore. All I have to do is tell her it’s work, though, right man?” He nudged Kevin with a laugh. “It’s worked in the past, anyway.”

“Yeah?”

“Ah, yeah!” he bragged. “You know, some days you just don’t want to be tied up in a relationship.” He did know, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Ray. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. At least, she hasn’t figured it out yet.”

“Smooth,” was all Kevin could manage to say, and nodded. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to guys like this. He was supposed to be impressed by guys that had no respect for women? He knew that what he was doing wasn’t ethical, but he did respect women. He treated them kindly, intelligently…. He enjoyed their company and it wasn’t only for the obvious reasons. He would never think of talking about them the way Ray seemed to constantly talk about his conquests. “So, do you want me to get out the rest of this track?”

“Oh, yeah! You want to do it tonight?”

“I was thinking about it. Why?”

“I was kind of thinking of going to one of those bars in SoHo—“ He lowered his voice and looked over his shoulder. “—and I uh…was going to tell Anna—“

Kevin lifted his hand and nodded again. “Gotcha covered.”

“Yo, dude—really?”

“’S’all good.”

When Ray left, Kevin dialed Anna’s cell phone. He could hear Ray in the background complaining about her office calling at all hours of the night and never giving them a chance to be alone. “I know you can’t talk, but when he says he has to work tonight, why don’t you head back here and keep me company.”

“Work? Tonight?” she asked innocently. “Well…” she exhaled heavily, “you’re sure no one else can handle it? I’m here with my fiancé and we were going to—“

Kevin chuckled. “Oh, you’re good at this aren’t you?”

“I am,” she continued in her office tone. “What time do you need me there?”

“Oh, I need you right now.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

She didn’t come to New York to spend time with Ray. She knew exactly what Ray was going to do when they got here and she came to see him. He knew that as soon as he saw her stick her head around the corner and smile. Yeah, Ray, you’re really pulling one over on her. Part of him couldn’t wait for Ray to find out she’s been stepping out on him all this time. He didn’t want Ray to find out it was him she was stepping out with necessarily since it would be a really lousy impression on his employers, but part of him wanted to see him get his own back. Especially since Ray was so sure Anna was sitting home rejected and lonely.

Anna peered around the corner a while later with a playful smile. “Need an assistant?”

Kevin was in the moment, feeling the rise of Ray’s voice as he entered the bridge. He nodded, waving her into the room and continued his blend, hearing the tones ring clearer in his minds eye as he made it happen in the studio. When the passage was done, he turned the tape off and sat back with a wide smile. “Hey, Baby.”

“That’s Ray?” she asked, pointing to the soundboard. “It sounds nothing like—wow.”

“Sounds nothing like what?”

“What he was doing over the summer.” She sat down in the chair next to him looking at the switches and knobs on the soundboard, handing him a brown bag. “Oh, I picked up a sandwich for you. I remember you saying you forget time when you’re in the studio, so I figured you’d forget to eat.”

“Oh, I love you!” He leaned over and kissed her loudly on her cheek, peering into the bag hungrily. When he looked up, she was looking at him oddly, forcing a smile onto her face. He looked back at her, realizing what he just said while she was distracted. And then he was distracted. He loved her. Did she take that to mean…?

“I hope you love roast beef,” she said, lifting her eyebrows, seemingly recovering from the awkwardness. “I didn’t know if you took mayo or mustard.”

“I’m not that picky. I’m thrilled you brought me food! Thank you.” He leaned over and kissed her again.

“Thanks for calling. I’d be sitting alone in a hotel room while Ray,” she made air quotes, “worked all night.”

Kevin took a bite of the sandwich. “Like you thought I wouldn’t call?”

“I didn’t know if you’d cover for him or not. You are his producer, after all. I was here for legitimate business. Ray came with me so we could share the suite.”

He rolled her chair closer to him and leaned over to kiss her. “First of all? I don’t cover for anyone.”

“No?” she asked, pulling back slightly with a grin. “So Ray’s really coming in to work? He said he’d be with you all night.”

“I wouldn’t call that covering for Ray. I call that more carving out time for us. Even if I really do have to do some work, I thought it was be fun to hang out together.”

“Secondly?” she asked.

“Secondly, I’m his producer, Anna. That’s all I am.”

“That’s all?”

“To him, yeah. What’s going on?” He took another bite of the sandwich and pulled back slightly. “You’re awfully aggressive tonight.”

She shook her head and shrugged him off. “It’s been a long…visit, that’s all. And I don’t know if I can handle being Ray’s sidekick much longer. But if I call it off with him, there are going to be a lot of questions and I’d really rather not answer them.”

“Questions? What questions?”

“Why I’m calling the wedding off is going to raise a lot of questions. Especially after the social pages covered the engagement parties.”

“Social pages—engagement parties?”

She smiled at him and cocked her head to the side. “You really haven’t figured out…”

“What?”

“My last name is McMillan, Kevin.”

She kept looking him and he studied her face for a moment and slowly the name slipped through his brain. “McMillan. Chemicals.” She nodded, looking as if she deflated and turned pale. “The McMillan Chemical?” She nodded again and bit her lips together nervously. He didn’t feel like eating any longer and he suddenly didn’t know what to say. “The…” he stammered.

She pulled back slightly and squared her shoulders a slight bit, almost unnoticeable. “Ray said something earlier today about how if you knew who I was, you wouldn’t be all that friendly to me. And I wondered. He wasn’t wrong on this one, was he?”

“I don’t really know what to say.” It was the truth. He didn’t. His mind reeled with headlines and facts about McMillan Chemicals, accusations on dumping and pollution, high profile court cases. McMillan Chemicals was the enemy. Someone he lobbied against. Spoke out about.

And Anna—the only thing that came to mind was cliché. He was sleeping with the enemy.

“I’m not my father’s company,” she said as if she’d been rehearsing the line, a hint of a challenge behind her tone, but still unsure of whether or not she really wanted a challenge.

“No…no. I know.” He sounded as convincing as Baylee did denying having cookies with crumbs all over his face. “I just…did a lot of work about, or, I mean…”

“You hate the company. You’ve probably spoke out against us hundreds of times. I don’t like boybands, Kevin. I’m not holding it against you.”

“Oh, come on, Anna. Singing in harmony isn’t quite like destroying an entire ecosystem,” he snapped, dropping the sandwich into the wrapper on his lap. “Hell, singing out of tune— caterwauling—still not destroying an entire ecosystem!”

She stood up and took a deep breath, pausing awkwardly and holding the breath for a second before slowly releasing it. “Yea—ah, okay.” She nodded, briefly looking around the room. “Take care, Kev.”

“No…Anna, wait.” He grabbed her wrist and took his own breath, closing his eyes to center his thoughts. “This isn’t fair. You knew who you were and how I’d react and had time to plan this whole conversation. You can’t blindside me and expect rational, coherent…thoughts. This is big. This is important to me.” She kept her eyes towards the door, head held high. “In spite of everything I tried to do to avoid it, you are important to me.”

She nodded again, but kept her eyes on the door. “I’ll let you catch up, then.”

“Anna…?”

“I know the whole boyband analogy was lame, Kevin. I was just trying to make the point that what I do, doesn’t necessarily reflect who I am. I didn’t choose this. I was born into it and I did what was asked of me so later on, I could do what I wanted to. M.C. was my education and how I learned how to make a living. It’s my family business, and like it or not, it’s part of who I am. We do what we can, and I’m well aware we could do better, and we could do more. But when you think of me, and my family business, remember that we’ve been in operation since 1913. We have over 3,000 workers worldwide and I am one Vice President out of, literally, hundreds. Don’t think that because I am family, that I can make any operational decisions. Don’t think that I haven’t spoken up for what I believe we should do. And in spite of my behavior of what we’ve done, I do have a conscience and I do have morals. And I was really hoping that you’d be able to see that when I told you I was that McMillan.”

“Come on, Anna…think of where I’m coming from.”

She finally turned to face him. He noticed the tears in her eyes, and could see her struggling to hold herself together. “Know what, Kevin? Maybe…” She paused, looking away to compose herself, “Maybe for once, I’d like someone to think of where I’m coming from for a change.”