Oreos
for Breakfast - Chapter 3
By
The Paperbag Princess and The Pumpkin
Coach
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Date: July 5, 2001, 9:05 PM
From: Rachel
To: Nick
Subject: Re: you can find anything on the internetBored much today, Cute One? How many voicemails did you leave me? I get the impression that the venue is not up to your standards.
Watch me be upset for you, when I share a ten foot dressing room with three smelly boys. The same smelly boys who are in my van 10 hours a day.
ARGH!!!!
Never should have let Jeremy back in the band. He's driving me absolutely insane. James made me come back to the hotel instead of going on to our late venue. Which is fricking grand, because now they're all out at the club, getting trashed, and I'm sitting here writing you email.
I get to be on vacation after Saturday night. By Monday morning, I'll be home. Where I plan not to speak to a soul for about a week.
We've got too many emails going, I'm going to put them all into one long letter.
>Since you're not awake for me to bug, I decided to see what's online about you.
Can you hear me scream?
>I stumbled across the fact that Damon Albarn wrote 'Long Island' with you. His name
watch me scream again.
>sounded familiar, so I had to figure out who the hell Damon Albarn is. He's the lead
you are such a sheltered boy. In England, Damon is king.
>singer for Blur. Em Evesham is married to one of the guys in Blur, Alex James. (Which I only know because she calls AJ her second favorite Alex James. That is, when she isn't flirting with Kevin.) So, is that how you got Em to do your cover photo and those pictures of all the other band on your site? (Why, btw, isn't your picture on the site?)
Em flirts with Kevin? Yeah, he's totally her type. She likes 'em tall dark and handsome.
I am friends with Em outside any relationship I had with Damon. How do you know her? She's done your pictures, hasn't she? Yeah, I noticed her name in the B&B credits.
Bayley's Em's bestest friend, I don't remember if that came up at all the other night.
Pictures of me on the site? Ummm… I got tired of lewd email. You have no idea what it's like to come onstage in a bar and have the drunk frat guy in the back scream 'show us your tits.' By rights I should have license to hate all men by now.
I absolutely love James's picture, though, and Em has a few like that of me. If James ever updates, I'll tell him to put them on there, just for you, cute one.
>So, is this Damon guy the reason you've had bad experiences with band boys?
Um… yes. He's not the only one.
>I am much cuter than him.
You are. ;->
>Nick, the cute one.
You must stop believing your press.
>Date: July 4, 2001, 11:55 PM
>From: Nick
>To: Rachel
>Subject: Re: Happy Fourth>You were just writing me email, why are you not answering your phone????
I believe I was loading the van at that precise moment.
>I did notice that you didn't respond to one particular email. It was about Damon Albarn, did you get it?
I got it, see above!
Nag.
>>What did you do today? Bay tells me lots of cool things happening in Philly, Declaration of Independence, blah blah blah. My mom came down and we saw the
>Missed it.Did you at least see fireworks???
>We played softball. They keep arranging softball games for us. I hate softball.
Then don't go! Is it a mandatory class activity? Do you get graded on it?
>I suck at it. I can't catch, and I throw like a girl.
You can't play basketball, either. You need to find a sport you're good at, Nick.
>And we're all annoyed with each other, so it gets really stupid and competitive.
I was about to ask why you're all annoyed with one another, but that's a stupid question, given that I'm ready to kill my band right now. At least you don't have to sit in that damn van with your band!
As soon as we get our tour bus, I am torching that fucking van.
>You should have called me, I had my phone with me.
Got your voicemail…
>Altho half the time I was in the outfield, I was on the phone with Tiffani. That's the girlfriend. The now ex. You're right, I am a lousy boyfriend, and she told me so. Over and over and over again.
You broke up with your girlfriend during a softball game. Man, you are a shitty boyfriend!
>As you would say about Jeremy, blah blah BLAH whine whine WHINE.
A friend of mine always says, 'there are ex's and there are why's'
That's funnier when you say it.
Either way, is Tiffani a why?
How could you date a girl named Tiffani? With an 'I'???? Did she dot it with a heart? Man, you have lousy taste in women, Nick!
>Did you leave early? Answer your cell phone, I'm bored! Or I might be forced to find more online gossip about you.
Babe, you do not want to get into this with me. There is so much gossip about you… I could embarrass you for a lifetime.
>>Call away, sweetie! I want that tour bus!
>But I thought you liked having a Backstreet Boy crushed out on you?Oh, you can have cheap meaningless sex with others and still crush out on me, can't you?
>Actually, I blame James now, because I think he just wanted to collect on the bet to kiss you.
>Much better! Blame James! He enjoyed that kiss entirely too much. Then again, I think I noticed you enjoying kissing me, too… I must be good.James likes hottie blondes.
>>Because Jeff lurves me. And I lurve him.
>>Its gonna be a fun tour.
>Should I be looking him up online, and seeing if he's another band boy you had problems with?Never been involved with Jeff. We just like one another a bit.
>>I thought you were the cute one!
>That's what all our press says.And you always believe what you read?
>>See, we couldn't have cheap meaningless sex, we already have the phone numbers.
>Then we have to have expensive meaningful sex?I suppose that's the logical conclusion. If I was going to have sex with you at all.
>Em's directing? Em fucking Evesham? We've asked her a million times to direct our videos, and she always says no. She's only done, like, three. EMI must love you!
They do, because I called Em and said 'hey, can you do our video?' and she said 'yeah, call my manager, she knows the drill. Wanna hear some cute stories about the baby?' GIRL POWA!
>Nick, still the Cute One. At least cuter than that Damon guy with the bad teeth. Did you get that email?
You are cuter than Damon, and you definitely have better teeth.
>Date: July 5, 2001, 12:12 PM
>From: Nick
>To: Rachel
>Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whatcha doing?>I never would have pegged you for a girly girl, Rache.
Sometimes it's nice to hang with someone who doesn't think of belching as a sport. Speaking of which, I hear you can do it on command. I'll just believe that, ok? You don't need to show that skill off next time I see you.
>>Ok, I do that with James already. Still not the same.
>Did you compare kissing me? For the record, I enjoyed it more with you.Yeah? James is pretty good. At least he was when we were 14 and he didn't know he was gay.
>>That's not the problem, it's the whole fricking artistic integrity, we shouldn't be using someone else's celebrity to get airplay, blah blah BLAH.
>I'm hearing Jeremy there.::hands over ears:: I'm not listening to that name!!!
>>::checking backstreet.net- totally cool site, btw, have you seen it?::
>some of our fans have too much time on their hands. We pay people to update our official site and they're not as up to date as bsb.netthen maybe you need to hire the people at bsb.net
>>why the HELL are you guys in Boston for a fricking WEEK?
>No idea. This is a good week, tho, three days in Philly, a week in Boston. Only problem is tomorrow. Hershey, PA. They're opening the park for us after the show, though, that is so cool. Sometimes it's a nice bubble. But we get to ride the roller coasters and then drive allllll the way to Boston.Man, I want to be as cool as you guys. Think of me when you're screaming on the roller coasters, I'll probably be onstage. Did you get me chocolate? Btw- you may surprise me with what kind.
And poor you, driving all the way to Boston. Oh, wait, you'll be riding. Possibly asleep in your cozy bunk. Watching TV? Playing Nintendo?
Shut UP!
>I'm on tour time, I'm coming. Where is it? AJ might want to come, he's all into you guys now.
I don't know where it is and I don't have the energy to find out. I'll tell you before then. No, wait, I'll tell Frank, he's the one who will figure out if its safe.
I'll put him on the list, plus two. What's his last name, anyway?
>>Kevin says you're a 'male vocal group,' better watch it!
>Kevin annoys the hell outa me.Oh, dear, trouble in Backstreet land?
>>And… dunno if you need to meet Jeremy or not. He's a long story.
>He got kicked out for a while, what happened there?Sigh. Long story. Get me drunk on Saturday and maybe I'll tell you.
>You need more fans like ours, you only have three websites and none of them have enough gossip.
That is fine with me!
>I sometimes get freaked out that every minute of the day, someone somewhere is talking about me.
That is freaky!
>Isn't Darien the one with the regional girlfriends?
Yes, and he can trust them to provide protection. Jeremy is a slut, he picks up someone new every show.
>>Aw, your mom wrote your tour rider! That is too fucking cute.
>Shut up! She was looking out for the other guys, too.But you were the golden child, don't deny it!
>>No wonder I hate Lou. Can't trust a man who doesn't like Cheetos.
>I like Cheetos!Good to know.
>Of course I'm giving her the royal treatment! She has to report back to you and tell you how sweet and nice and wonderful I am!
She thinks you rock.
>There was this cute blond girl in the bar last night…
there was a cute dark haired boy in the front row at my show tonight.
He might have been flirting with James, tho. This is a constant problem in my life.
>Date: July 5, 2001, 2:15 am
>From: Nick
>To: Rachel
>Subject: Incredibly bored>I may have hit the end of all information about you online.
Yay!
>I know how many albums you have, the lyrics to every song, and that you used to date Damon Albarn. Sometime around when you wrote "Long Island". But no one can tell me for how long you dated him. You opened for Blur, but "Long Island" came out the next year, so I'm not sure what happened there.
I was with him for about a year.
>There are no reports of you with Jeff from Tsar, but then there's not much about Tsar. They really like us, don't they?
They do. Not even in a cheesy boyband way, they like you.
>I find it really unfair that you can find my baby pictures and incredibly embarrassing early recordings on line and I can find no good dirt on you.
HEH!
>I suppose I will go to bed now.
I must go and join my band now. I'm calmer now, thanks for reading my ramblings. Have fun on the roller coasters, Cute One.
Rache, Cranky One
Ooh. She sounded a little pissed in that email. I'm annoying her now, I knew that was going to happen. "The Cute One," Man, Carter, what kind of idiot are you?
Trying to avoid answering her, I checked my email again.
Date: July 6, 2001, 2:12 am
From: Rachel
To: Nick
Subject: I told you not to play this game with me!http://www.groupiecentral.com/gossipbackstreet.html
Rache.laughing so hard I cannot breathe
Laughing. That was good.
I clicked on the link.
Oh, fuck.
Sleep with one girl in the Bahamas, and there it is on the internet, FOREVER.
Date: July 6, 2001, 2:15 am
From: Nick
To: Rachel
Subject: Are you awake?Can I call you?
Date: July 6, 2001, 2:20 am
From: Rachel
To: Nick
Subject: Re: Are you awake?Am awake. Searching for dirt on you, oh Cute One, and its waaaay too easy.
Don't call, James just went to bed.
He dated Willa Ford. There had to be dirt somewhere on her.
Don't mess with me, little man, I will embarrass you so bad.
I hated talking about Damon.
Date: July 6, 2001, 2:22 am
From: Nick
To: Rachel
Subject: Re: Re: Are you awake?Stop searching for dirt, and go to your room and CALL ME
God, she's probably three clicks away from finding out all about me and Mandy. She's going to think I'm an idiot, three years with her.
Mandy was right, no one will ever date me again, they'll all eventually figure out what a wimp I am.
Date: July 6, 2001, 2:24 am
From: Rachel
To: Nick
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Are you awake?I am in my room- James and I had to share tonight.
But searching for dirt on you is too much fun!
Shouldn't you be asleep, little man?
Look at the groupies site I sent you to yet? Is it true?
I sorta wanted it to be true. It made him sound sweet.
Date: July 6, 2001, 2:26 am
From: Nick
To: Rachel
Subject: Re re re re reeeeeeI thought because you were the girl, you always got your own room!
Roller coasters were fun, and I'm eating all your chocolate, too wired to sleep.
STOP searching for dirt.
Chat room?
I wanted her on the phone and away from the computer, but maybe I could distract her with chat instead.
Date: July 6, 2001, 2:31 am
From: Rachel
To: Nick
Subject: Since you insisted…Chat room name: Nick Rhodes
Password: 0620
I could chat and still surf for dirt...
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