Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast
Chapter 7: On The Road

By The Paperbag Princess and The Pumpkin Coach

The music was throbbing through my head, and I fell into the couch next to Anna. She turned from her conversation with her friend to smile at me. "Dancing too much for you, pop star?" She teased.

I scowled at her and took a gulp of her drink. "Too much of this, maybe. What the hell is this?"

"Midori Sour," she said, taking it back. "It's like an alcoholic sweet tart."

"Rachel drinks those!" It was out of my lips before I could stop myself. Damnit, Anna had been teasing me all day about how all I could talk about was Rachel. She giggled.

"She at least has good taste in drinks, if not boyfriends." I pouted at her and she patted my cheek. "Doesn't work on me, Nicky, I've known you since fourth grade, remember? I know all the tricks."

I smirked. "The tricks still work on Rachel, so there."

"That'll only last so long," she told me knowingly. She was right, everyone was always right, Rachel would be tired of me soon enough. Someone caught Anna's attention and I glanced around the dance floor when she left me alone.

Would Rachel like my friends? They weren't like hers, they didn't have jobs and families and we didn't have years of history together. I hung out with them when I was around, sometimes Tony or Brent would join me on tour. It was cool, but… I didn't have anyone like James. Anna might be the closest, I only talked to her when I was in Florida, but she knew me better than anyone. I'd been at the mall today and she was working at one of the stores I wandered into, that was the only reason I was here right now. I hadn't planned on calling anyone, I was still trying to figure out when I could go see Rachel without Mom freaking out that I was leaving again.

I grabbed Anna's hand, looking at her watch. One a.m. Would Rachel's show be over? Was it earlier in Minneapolis? I couldn't remember. I took my cell phone out anyway, punching in her number. Anna laughed at me. "You must be calling the perfect girl."

I nodded, getting up. Where would it be quieter?

"Hello?" I heard in my ear, and I know my smile must have been stupid. I hadn't talked to her all day. I'd left a million messages wishing her good luck on their first show, and she'd left a couple for me and I could hear the tension in her voice. But we kept missing each other. I hadn't even talked to her last night, she had press and I had a show… this was going to suck, wasn't it? Two days and we'd barely talked.

"Rache!"

"Nick? Where the hell are you?"

"I'm at-" the bathroom. It would be quieter in there, right? "A club."

"Tell me you're not with Aaron."

I laughed, finding an empty stall and locking myself inside. "No, friends. I ran into Anna at the mall-"

"Who's Anna?"

Was she jealous? No, just curious, I think. "I've known her since fourth grade. You'd like her. I told her I was dating Rachel from Sudden Silence and she could not believe you had such bad taste."

She laughed. "Tell her I have excellent taste. I never dated a boy that sent me flowers before!"

I leaned against the wall, smiling. "Never?"

"Never. They're beautiful, Nick. Thank you. Did you get my voicemail, or were you out dancing?"

"I must have been dancing. It's really loud here, I can't hear the phone. How was your show?"

She sighed. "It was fine. Normal Sudden Silence fuck-ups, I'm glad no one from the label was here. We'll be better in a few days."

"I can't wait to see you," I said, my chest aching. I knew they were great tonight, how could they not be? It had only been two days, how could I miss her this much?

I loved her giggle. "We'll pull it together by then. When are you coming?"

"I'll talk to Mom tomorrow…" She was going to kill me. I'd barely gotten here, and I was going to leave again.

"Ah, the mom, very scary…" Rachel teased. Fuck mom. Mom was not the wanton sex goddess. Thank god. There was noise on Rachel's end and I heard her yell "I'll be there in a minute!"

"Where are you, Rache?"

"I'm on the bus, and we have to talk about our day tomorrow. Later today. Whatever. Press."

"Alright, I'll let you go…" I didn't want to. I wanted to stay here in this slightly gross bathroom forever and talk to her. "Just wanted to see how the show was."

She was quiet for a second. "Thank you. You're very sweet."

"Tell that to Anna, she tells me I'm a terrible boyfriend."

"You can tell her that I say otherwise, and I know. Does she know?" Okay, that might have been jealousy…

I smiled. "Only because she saw me with Mandy. I told her I am a new man for you."

"You'd better be. Go have fun with your friends."

"Go do band stuff. Try not to kill Jeremy."

"You know me so well. Bye, bunny."

"Bye, Rache." I didn't turn off my phone until she clicked off, then leaned my head against the wall with a sigh. I was too drunk for this, too drunk to think about how much I missed her. I felt like it had been months since I'd seen her and been able to touch her, but it had only been a couple of days.

I guess I'd done a lot in those two days, touring with Aaron and seeing my friends… it was a million miles away from Long Island and that great house and her bed. Even when I saw her again, it wouldn't be Long Island, would it be different? It was easy there, just us, no bands to worry about. Kevin had called me about a dozen times in the last few days, I never called him back. I didn't want to know. I suspected that we were going to go into rehearsals next week, to get ready for August, that meant even less time with Rachel.

"Nicky!" Bellowed a voice from right outside my door. "Where the hell are you, man?"

Tony. I opened the door, putting my phone back in my pocket. "What, a guy can't have 30 seconds of privacy?"

He yanked me out of the stall and pushed me towards the door. "It's been five minutes. You okay? Did you fall in?"

"I'm…fine." Tony would never understand that I missed my girlfriend. Tony didn't believe in girlfriends, he believed in sex. I agreed with him, up until a few weeks ago.

"Good, because there are some honeys out there who do not believe that I could know a Backstreet Boy. I think the blond will be into you, but the redhead is mine."

We were moving towards the bar, Tony looking ahead to find the honeys. Girls would be good, that would take my mind off Rachel. I wouldn't do anything, just have a drink and flirt a little...

An hour later, the blond was sitting in my lap, her tongue down my throat. I had no idea how she got there, which was pretty typical for my life.

"You have my phone." I looked up from my blond into Anna's angry eyes. Anna always did this, she'd come out with us and then get all disapproving when things started getting interesting.

Whatever. Go home. I fumbled in my pocket and handed her the phone. She took it, then smiled over at me.

"This is yours. Is her number stored? I can be a little fan girl, and tell her how much I love her music."

Bitch. She would, too, and she would tell Rachel just what I was doing now…

Rachel.

Anna was playing with the phone, and I stood up, dumping my girl on the ground. "Ooh, sorry," I mumbled, helping her up as Anna laughed at us. "Sorry, sweetie-" I had no idea what her name was. "I gotta go."

She started to say something, but I grabbed Anna's arm and pulled her out of the club. "What the hell?" She sputtered, but I didn't let her go until we were outside and it was quiet. Once outside in the quiet air, I leaned against the wall, catching my breath.

Rachel. She'd kill me, I knew she would. We'd only been together for a few days and already I'd fucked it up. She had a thing about fidelity, we didn't have to go into detail about Jeremy and Damon for me to figure that out.

"Damnit!" I yelled, kicking the wall. "Why am I so fucking stupid?"

"Nick." Anna said my name carefully and I looked over at her. "Let's go somewhere else, okay? People are watching, and you know how they are…"

I glanced behind me. There was a crowd of people leaving the club, and they were trying not to pay attention to us. I didn't get hassled much in Florida, but everyone knew who I was anyway.

"There's a diner a block over, I need to sober up before I can drive. Okay?" I nodded at her and let her lead.

Rachel was going to find out and she would never trust me again. Why should she? I hung up the phone and went out and found some girl to take my mind off of her. This was all Tony's fault. Where the hell was he, he hadn't even followed me out of the club, he was so enthralled with that redhead. Hell, no one had followed us out. I knew exactly what they were thinking, they thought Anna and I were getting it on. They'd been teasing us about it for years. Probably because we had a habit of leaving everyone else and having intense discussions when we got drunk enough. I loved that about Anna, she'd listen to me when I rambled on.

I pulled her up against my side, kissing her forehead. "I love you, Anna."

She rolled her eyes. "You are so drunk, Nicky."

"I do, though," I told her.

"You never call, you never write," she complained, opening the door to the diner. "You're only here with me right now because you walked into my store at the mall today."

I grinned at her. "But you still love me."

Sighing, she shook her head. "I do. So does Rachel."

My heart caught in my throat, my brief good mood forgotten. Anna slid into a booth and I sat across from her. The waitress came over and I ordered a cheeseburger and coffee.

Rachel would tease me about that, she liked to tease me that I wasn't a terribly adventurous eater.

"You're thinking about her again," Anna smiled, and I looked at her.

"Who?"

She kicked me under the table. "Rachel. Who?" She mocked me. "As if. The same person that's been putting that moony look on your face all day."

I didn't do that. Did I?

Anna laughed at me again. "I have never seen you this in love, Nick. Certainly not with Mandy."

Love. That's twice she's used that word about me and Rachel. It had been just a few days, we hadn't used that word yet.

"Yeah, well, it's gonna be over now," I grumbled, slumping against the table, resting my head in my hands. The waitress poured our coffee and I didn't even move. When she left, Anna ruffled my hair with a giggle.

"It's not gonna be over. So you kissed a girl. Did you swear not to touch anyone else?" I shook my head. "It's only been a few days, it's too early to set rules. Maybe she's kissed a boy or two- ooooh!" She squealed as I glared at her. "Man, you have it bad. I didn't say she did, I just said maybe!"

I was way too drunk. I reached for the sugar for my coffee as she went on.

"Remember how pissed off you are next time you think about making out with some loser groupie girl, huh?"

Rachel would not kiss someone else! She wanted me, she told me she wanted me to come on tour with her…

Yeah, I just wanted her and look what I just did. She was probably making out with Jeremy on the tour bus right now.

"Nick, want some coffee with that sugar?" Anna teased, taking the sugar out of my hand. "Talk to me, honey, you are totally wigged out."

I couldn't look at her, so I took a sip of my way too sweet coffee. "She's never going to trust me again," I mumbled.

"Why? Because you kissed another girl, when you've only been with Rachel for about two seconds? I am a girl, Nick, she cannot get pissed off about this. Well… she might, but it's not relationship ending, not at this stage. Later, when you've made promises and shit, yeah, then she can kill you. You didn't make promises, did you?"

"No. I don't think." Did we?

I was too drunk to replay every second of every conversation we ever had. I'd remember something that big, right?

"And it wasn't even that big a deal, that skank was totally coming on to you, all her fault."

I had to laugh, glancing at her. Anna always hated any girl who came near me. "Why do you hate all girls I've ever been with?"

"Because you have terrible taste. I hate girls in those little tank tops that just want to say they bagged a Backstreet. Do you like that? Does that turn you on?"

I shrugged. "It's easy."

She rolled her eyes. "Men. Men are pigs!"

"What happened, Anna?"

"What?" But she couldn't meet my eyes.

"Which horrible man did you wrong this time?"

She pouted at me. "He was sleeping with my roommate."

"Before, during or after he was sleeping with you?"

"During!" She yelled. "And we'd made those promises and shit that I was just talking about! Six months and the whole time he was screwing her."

I shook my head. "And you say I have bad taste?"

She snorted. "Hey, at least I dump them. What was three years with Mandy?"

"Stupidity?" I tried, making her laugh.

"At least you're not making excuses for her any longer. Is Rachel nice to you?" She worried. She hated Mandy, like most of my friends. Anna thought Mandy was a bitch. She was entirely right about that.

I nodded. "Rachel is very nice. We don't fight."

"It's only been a few days, I would hope you don't fight!"

She gave me a wary look and I shook my head at her. "She's nice. She…" how to convince Anna that she was nice? "She saw how upset I was when we made the announcement about AJ and she came and saw me, and took me up to her house on Long Island, so I could have some privacy. That was when we were just friends."

"And now that you're not just friends, she's still nice? Nick, you know these girls in the business-"

I stopped her. "Rachel's not like that. She's worried about the publicity, not excited about it. She's not playin' me, Anna. I'm sure of it." Right? She wasn't just pretending to like me, was she?

"Did she give you that?"

"What? Oh." I was playing with my necklace, the shell she'd given me on a thin leather string. "Yeah. The night we got together…" I smiled at Anna. "We were on the beach, at sunset… it was very romantic."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Damn sappy boy band ballads."

I laughed. "Ya know, Rachel is always teasing me about that."

The waitress came with our food and when she left, Anna smiled at me. "Well, tell me all about the amazing Rachel. Let me believe there is still true love in the world."

"You don't want to talk about the evil boy?"

She shook her head. "Maybe later. Go on, tell me…"

My phone rang and I grabbed it. It had to be Nick, who else would possibly be calling me at 4am? "Hey," I answered quietly, sliding out of my bunk. Please be Nick, could he feel me lying awake here missing him?

"Wow," he answered. "I didn't expect you to be awake."

I walked to the back of the bus, curling up on the couch in the conference room. "Couldn't sleep. What are you doing up?"

"Anna and I were having one of our late night talks." My throat tightened, and I had to blink back tears. This was stupid, I barely knew this guy, how could I miss him this much? But I wanted him here, if he was here, I'd be able to sleep. Instead, I was lying awake, staring at the ceiling of the bus and obsessing about my band and my love life and all those stupid things that I obsessed about at 4 am. "She just dropped me off and I wanted to call and say good night."

"You're so sweet, Nick," hoping he couldn't hear my voice shaking.

"What's wrong, Rache?" He asked softly, and I brushed away a tear.

"Nothing. I can never sleep in a strange place, and the bus is pretty strange."

"I'm surprised you're trying to sleep. Are the others sleeping?"

"Yeah, at least no one's yelled at me to be quiet yet. Lola might be up…" I crept to the curtain that separated the back from the bunk area and peeked out. Lola was on one of the couches, asleep. "Nope. Just me and Steven. At least I hope Steven is awake," I teased lamely.

"He'd better be taking care of my girl!" Nick protested, and I grabbed the blanket off my bunk before going back to my couch.

"He is. He's nice." I huddled under the blanket, leaning my head against the wall. "I'm bad at sleeping in moving vehicles. I can't sleep on planes or in cars or anything. Guess I have to get used to it, huh?"

"Or you could stay awake and talk to me every night."

I smiled. "That would be okay, too. So how was your night? Have fun with your friends? Who's this Anna person I keep hearing about?" A friend from fourth grade, I knew that much. Was she pretty? Did she have a crush on him? Probably.

"She's cool. You know how there are some people that you don't talk to that often, but when you do, it's like you see each other every day? That's me and Anna. She told me all about her horrible ex-boyfriend and I told her all about you."

"Did you? Did you say nice things?"

"Of course!" He squeaked. "I had to convince her that you were nice to me. I don't have a very good track record there…"

"Willa wasn't even nice to you?"

He sighed. "I think I'm too tired for this discussion."

I nodded. "Me too. You just called to say good night, I should let you go…"

"No, I'm okay. Didn't you promise me phone sex a couple of days ago?"

I laughed. "Oh, I am so sure that would wake someone up and then I'd be horribly embarrassed. Sorry, not tonight." I wasn't even in the mood. I just wanted to talk to him, to hear his voice and stop obsessing over my life.

"Bummer," he whined, making me giggle again. "And I just got these candles that reminded me of the other night…"

"You did what?" Nick was not a candles sort of guy, and I could practically feel him blushing.

"Um… Aaron and I were at the mall today, and I saw one of those stores that we went to at the Long Island mall? The candle place?"

"Illuminations?" I supplied.

"Yeah. So I went in and was checking out the purple ones. I remembered that you bought purple ones."

I smiled at the phone, loving how sweet he could be. "Lavender."

"Yeah, I figured that out… well, Anna helped me figured it out. She works there, and after she stopped teasing me about being in a candle store, she helped me find the right ones. So I bought a bunch… the smell reminds me of you. How you looked lying naked on your bed… the way your skin felt against mine."

"Oh, stop," I whispered. "You're not making this any easier."

"Sorry."

We were quiet for a minute, and I pulled the blanket tighter around me. I missed him so much I could barely breathe, but that was so stupid, when I barely knew him. "Where are you?" I asked him, wanting to picture him correctly. My mind's eye had him naked on my bed in Long Island, that was a bad image if I was supposed to be cheering myself up.

"I'm home. Aaron's next show isn't until this weekend, so we're home."

"Oooh… Carter family homestead?"

He chuckled. "One of them. Someday I'll tell you all about our various houses. Long story. But this is a new house, this isn't really my room, ya know? Just where I sleep when I'm here."

"And scatter your stuff all over," I teased. He left a trail of Nickness wherever he went- dirty clothes, shoes, GameBoy bits and pieces…

"Yeah," he smiled. "It's a little messy."

"So are you staying until Aaron's on the road again or what?"

He hesitated. "Dunno. Where are you going now?"

"Chicago. Today we've got like 6 hours of press and then an industry showcase, oh I am so thrilled." Nick laughed at the sarcasm in my tone. "Then tomorrow is the video shoot. I haven't talked to Em, I'm not sure what's happening exactly. Then it's St. Louis, I think."

"Maybe I'll meet you in St. Louis?"

"Isn't that a song?" I questioned, making him laugh again.

"I think it is. I'm too tired to sing it, though."

"You should get some sleep, bunny," I told him.

"Are you okay, Rache? Really. You sound… sad."

"Oh…" I miss you so hard, Nick. "I'm just overtired. I'm fine. I'm sorta sleepy now, I'll sleep when I lay down in my bunk."

"Are you sure?"

No. I won't sleep, I'm sure of it. But if I stay on the phone with you, I might say something I shouldn't. "Yeah. Thanks for calling. I needed to talk to someone."

"I'll see you soon, baby."

"Good."

I could feel his smile. "Good night, Rache."

"Night, Nick." I hung up the phone and huddled under my blanket. At least I hadn't stared at the wall back here yet, it was better than my bunk.

"Nick… honey, are you awake? Nicky, c'mon!"

I groaned into my pillow and clamped my eyes shut as mom stopped her polite knocking and finally swung open my door, letting the light infiltrate my room. Why did moms always do that? And what the hell was she doing here, anyway? I could have a girl in here for all she knew.

I sat up and stuck my tongue out at her, whining, "I'm tired… leave me alone, please?"

"Young man, if you can stay out until 3am with Anna and Tony drinking and doing lord knows what, you can be up by mid-afternoon to say goodbye to your brother."

"Where's he going?" He didn't mention anything about going away again. I thought he had a couple days off. We were going to go sailing later. Or was that yesterday?

"Last minute TV thing. He flies to New York in a couple hours." She sat down on the edge of the bed and I frowned at her. "It's okay, Nicky, you'll be here when he gets back."

I looked away and could feel her eyes as she studied me. "Aren't you?"

"Umm… I kinda made plans to meet up with some friends." That's good, Nick. Keep it casual. You have lots of friends, you're a popular guy. She doesn't have to know it's Rachel. If she knows it's Rachel, she'll freak out, just like with Mandy.

"What friends? Your friends are here." She questioned, slapping my leg as she got up and surveyed my room. Why oh why didn't I buy a house of my own in Tampa? It's not like I couldn't afford it! She started to pick up clothes off the floor.

"Mom, stop it. You don't have to clean up."

"Nickolas Gene Carter! If your mother can't pick up your dirty shorts, who can? Chill out! Where is all your laundry?"

"I don't have any." I stretched and yawned. Not as drunk last night as I thought I was. My head barely hurt Anna must have sobered me up before we got home. She was good like that. Maybe if things didn't work out with Rachel I should just data Anna? She was pretty. She certainly knew me.

Yeah, and she barely tolerates you, Carter. Get a grip. I looked over at my phone on the nightstand and picked it up. Rachel was right, I could sleep through anything. I had like 5 messages.

"What do you mean, you don't have any?" Mom's voice dragged me back to the present.

Was she still talking about laundry? "Did it at Rachel's. No big deal."

"You did your laundry?"

"Not exactly." I admitted sheepishly. Hey, Rachel asked if I had any laundry and the next thing I knew my shorts were in the washer with her jeans. Not my idea. I did learn to do sheets. But those were easy. Only one set fit in the washer and I couldn't fuck that up.

"So, Nick..." Mom stopped fussing around my room and looked down at me as I started to pull off messages. Kevin again. Dude, give it up, I'll call when I want to talk to you. Tony wanting to know if I went home with the blond because his redhead was wearing him out this morning. And Rachel. She sounded nervous. What was she saying? Shut up for a minute mom, this is important.

"NICK!" I shut off the phone and whipped my head around to face her.

"What's so important, Mom?"

"Are you leaving us to go see that girl?"

Why oh why does my mother hate all my girlfriends? Mandy. Right. "Rachel. Her name is Rachel."

Mom sat on the edge of my bed, considering me. "Sorry. I have trouble keeping track of them all."

I snapped. "Bullshit. I do not have that many girlfriends! Her name is Rachel, and you know it! You've never even met her, why do you assume that she's terrible?"

"Maybe it would help if I could meet her."

I took a deep breath, trying to be calm. She pushed all my buttons. Hell, she was my mom, she gave birth to the buttons. "Honestly, Mom, I'd like that. But she's on tour, and so are you."

"I thought you were staying with us for a while, since you already spent weeks with her."

"I-" What do I say? I should be staying with them, even Rachel thinks I'm staying with them.

But if I don't see her soon, I'll die.

"I am…I need to talk to her, figure out when I should join up with her." Today. I would leave right now if Mom would get out of my room.

"Well..." her voice drifted off as she looked at me. "Well, Aaron and I are leaving in a couple of hours. We could give you a ride to the airport?"

I just blinked at her for a moment. Mom was encouraging me to go?

She laughed, messing up my hair. "I can be reasonable, Nick. I don't… I know better than to try and stop you from doing what you want."

I hugged her before she could move away, and I felt her relax against me. "It's different this time, Mom. I promise."

"I'll try to remember that, Nicky."

She kissed my cheek and stood up. "We're leaving in two hours, you'd better get ready."

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