Oreos For Breakfast: Nick Fanfic

Oreos for Breakfast
Chapter 8

By The Paperbag Princess and The Pumpkin Coach

I checked my watch. It was 5:15, I left Nick in the room at 5 because he couldn't find his stupid ball cap and I was starving. He told me he'd be right down, I should order something munchy for us to share. We'd have dinner at the venue, but I'd been trapped in a hotel room all day, doing press. Even the thought of sex with my boy toy was not enough to keep me in that damn hotel room.

Even if it was a nice one… Lola had decided Nick could put us up at the Four Seasons, since she hadn't changed all of our hotel reservations yet.

Our nachos appeared, and two beers, and I pulled out my phone. Did he get trapped by fans? Did he get lost? "Yeah?" he answered.

"Nick? Where are you?"

He groaned. "Howie's here. And Frank."

He sounded positively miserable, and I had to laugh. "Isn't that pretty fucking random? What are they doing in Kansas City?"

"Taking me back!" he whined, and my heart stopped. I didn't want him to go. "They tracked me down, Rache!"

I had to suppress a giggle as I imagined the rest of his band bent over a map trying to figure out where Nick was, like an elaborate game of "Where's Waldo."

I could hear another voice in the background. "If you ever checked your voicemail, Nicky, we wouldn't have had to do this…" Howie, had to be.

"Whatever," Nick grumbled.

"Have they kidnapped you to the airport, bunny?" I asked. They couldn't even let me say goodbye?

"No! We're in Howie's room, we get to do a conference call with Kevin and Brian. But I have to go to L.A. tomorrow and meet with management."

Well, that wasn't so bad. "So Howie and Frank had to come get you?"

"I should maybe check my voicemail more often," he admitted.

"You always answer my voicemails," I said. He did. Even if he couldn't get me on the phone, he would call me right back.

"Duh. I've been with you, why should I check them?"

I laughed. "I feel so loved. So are you going to join me anytime soon?"

"I don't know… after Kevin yells at me, probably."

"If he's so annoyed, why didn't get come to fetch you?"

"Because he would have killed me. Howie's the nice one." His voice got quieter. "I have good news, sorta."

"What?" I whispered back.

"We're postponing the tour more. AJ needs more time. Which is sorta good and sorta bad, I guess." His voice was worried, and I wanted to hug him.

"I think it's good, bunny. I didn't think a month was long enough. Does this mean you get to hang with me for the rest of the summer?"

"Yeah," I could hear his smile. "Mostly. I have to do some stuff with Aaron…" his voice trailed off, and I could hear someone talking in the background. "I gotta go, Rache. Are you coming back up to the room?"

"I'm going to eat these nachos I just ordered and then yeah. If I'm not there by the time you're done, try the bar. Love you."

I could feel his grin. He grinned every time I said that. "Love you, too. I'll be done soon."

I hung up the phone and Jeremy slid into the booth across from me, Lola next to him. "Get stood up?"

I scowled, but pushed the plate of nachos closer to them. I hated to eat alone. "Kind of. His band has showed up to drag him back to Backstreet Land."

"Really?" Lola questioned, taking a sip of Nick's beer.

"Howie and Frank," I nodded. "He has to leave tomorrow."

"Did it really require an intervention to get him to leave your side?" Jeremy asked coolly, and I shrugged.

"He might have been ignoring his voicemails. Whatever. Lola, can you put Frank and Howie on the list for tonight? Make it plus one, I bet Howie has a girlfriend here somewhere."

"Backstreet has a Darien?" Jeremy joked, and I smiled at him.

"Evidently yes. And he's the short one with weird hair, I have no clue."

Taking another swallow of beer, Lola got up. "I'll get him on the list, then. See you at the bus in an hour, kiddies, some of us have work to do."

She left us, and I glanced over at Jeremy. Yikes. Alone with Jeremy.

"You gonna make it without the boy toy, Rache? Is this it, then, is it all over?"

"Sorry to break it to you, J, but no. They're postponing the tour for a while longer, he'll be back."

He considered the nachos intently, not looking up at me. "He's an OK guy. Really. But I do not get the attraction, Rache."

I sighed. The last thing I wanted to do right now was explain Nick to Jeremy. "Never underestimate a girl's need to be queen of the prom, okay?" I knew Jeremy wouldn't get it, but Nick made me feel like the most popular girl in school.

"That's a good line…" I could see the lyric form in his mind and he drummed his fingers on the table. I grabbed a napkin and pulled a pen out of my bag. In 10 minutes we had a song scribbled on it.

I'm a punk rock prom queen
Brown paper magazine
Hotter than you've ever seen
Everywhere and in between
A ten-ticket thrill ride

Every once in a while, I remembered why I loved Jeremy.

"Isn't that the ex?" Howie asked, and I looked across the bar. Rachel was sitting with Jeremy, leaning over their table to be closer to him, scribbling something on a napkin. He looked at it and laughed, and she kissed him.

She kissed him!

I started over towards them, but Howie caught my arm. "Nicky," he warned, and I glared at him. "That was nothing. Don't freak out."

"Fuck off, Howie."

"No. Take a breath, Nicky. I know you're crazy about her, don't let that make you into a jealous freak."

Again. I knew he meant 'again.' He'd seen me freak out with Mandy way too many times. I took a breath and he smiled at me.

"We're going to go over there and you'll see, everything will be fine."

It was, mostly, she squealed when she saw me, jumping up to give me a kiss. But I looked past her while she hugged Howie, and Jeremy was glaring at me. "Where's Frank?" she asked, looking beyond me.

"We're in the hotel, we're safe," I told her. I'd been without him for two weeks, that was not half long enough.

"Will he come to the show?" she asked, smiling when Howie answered.

"He's looking forward to it, so am I."

She pulled me next to her in the booth. "Jeremy and I just wrote a new song, it kicks ass!"

I grinned at her, that must have been what she was scribbling on the napkin. "What, in the hour since I last talked to you?"

She nodded, looking around for the napkin. She was so excited, it was really cute.

"Yes, Nick, songwriters can do that," Jeremy drawled at me, talking like I was a little kid. "But I guess you wouldn't know that, since you pay someone to write all those hits."

"Jeremy!" Rachel snapped, the smile falling off her face.

"What, Rache? I was just saying that perhaps he doesn't know about how a song is written."

"Don't be an ass," she growled.

"It's a common misconception, Rachel," Howie offered. There was a reason he was the sweet one. "We hear that a lot. But actually, Jeremy, we have been writing more of our own material."

Jeremy smirked at him. They were sitting next to each other, and I had a moment of wanting to leap across the table and save Sweet D from the evil Jeremy. "Anything I've heard?"

Howie smiled. "I'm not sure how familiar you are with our work. I know Rachel here doesn't really know all our songs."

"She's been known to play your CD on our tour bus. But what I gather is that perhaps you haven't been writing the singles?"

Howie shrugged. "Not yet, but we will."

"Pity. All the money's in publishing."

"We've recently figured that out," Howie told him.

"Hence why you've been doing more writing lately?" He made 'writing' sound like it was in quotes. I'd written some good stuff! 'Shining Star' could have been a single if Jive didn't make us release ballads all the time.

Howie's cell phone rang and he excused himself, moving to the table behind us to take the call.

Damnit, that meant Jeremy was going to pick on me now. Rachel didn't let him, leaning across the table to grab the napkin in front of him. He covered it with one hand, smiling at her.

That was the most sincere smile I'd ever seen on him. Granted, I hadn't spoken to him much in the couple of days I'd been around, and I never paid attention to him on stage. But he smiled at Rachel and it was actually affectionate.

I wanted to punch him. She was mine now. He'd fucked up and had his chance, and she was mine.

"J..." she whined. They all called him that. Jeremy was 'J', and Darien was 'D'. Somehow they could pronounce all of 'Rachel' and 'James'. I hated that she had a nickname for him. Did she ever call him 'bunny'?

"Rachel…" he whined back.

"Gimme the song, I want to show Nick."

"But it's ours. It's special."

She rolled her eyes at him and sat back, next to me. "Whatever, J. I guess we won't perform it ever."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "What about a private performance? Remember when we used to write songs in bed?"

"That was a long time ago," she said coolly. He was pissing her off. I guess I should be glad she wasn't flirting back, right?

"It was just a couple of nights ago that you couldn't keep your hands off of me."

What?

She didn't answer him for a second. "Fuck off. Go find a groupie to torture."

"You didn't tell him about that, did you?" he smiled.

She turned to look at me. "Jeremy attacked me the other night."

"Oh, please, Rachel, it was not all me."

Something flickered in her eyes at that and I knew it was true. She'd fucked him? We'd been apart three fucking days and she was fucking her ex again? Did she always do that, is that something I had to get used to?

I got up, almost tripping over my feet, but I left before I hurt him.

"Bastard!" I hissed at Jeremy. He smirked at me.

"He should get used to you fucking other people, shouldn't he?"

"It was barely a kiss, you shit." I started to yell at him, but Nick was getting away. I stood up to follow him. "This is not over, Jeremy."

"It'll never be over, Rachel."

I didn't even give him a response, I turned on my heel and ran after Nick. He disappeared through the front doors just as I reached the lobby, and I went after him, catching up with him halfway down the block. "Nick!" I yelled, and he turned around, stalking over to me.

Fuck. He was furious. I thought maybe he was upset, or hurt, I'd seen that in his eyes back in the bar, but now he was just angry.

"You fucked him? Three days, and you fucked him? To think, I've been beating myself up because I kissed another girl, and you fucked your ex. Should I go call Mandy?"

"You kissed another girl?" I shrieked.

"Who cares? You fucked Jeremy! Is that normal, is that part of your sick and twisted relationship with him, did you never give up the sex? Is that why you can't talk about him?"

"Who the hell did you kiss?" It could have been a million girls, I knew that. They were everywhere, and they all wanted him, and they certainly didn't come with insane ex-boyfriends as baggage.

"Some groupie. She was really hot," he boasted, and I held myself back from smacking him. "She was all over me. I would have fucked her if Anna hadn't made me feel guilty. But what the hell did I do that for, when you were fucking Jeremy?" He roared.

"I didn't fuck Jeremy!" I screamed back. "It was a kiss, one stupid little kiss, and he is only making a big deal about it because I turned him down!"

"Why would he make a big deal about it? Do you normally fuck him all the time?"

I took a step away from him, shaking. "I'm not doing this now. I'm not having the Jeremy talk with you when we're both furious."

"You can never have that talk! There's always some excuse. It's not really over with him, is it?"

"You never want to have the Willa talk! Does that mean it's not over with her, either?"

"She's not in my goddamn band! I don't see her every day, I don't share hotel rooms and tour buses and songs with her!"

"And you still don't want to talk about her! Why? Do you still love her?"

"No! I never loved her! I might have said it, but I didn't mean it!"

My world spun. What if he was just saying it to me?

"You little fucking-" I caught myself, taking a deep breath. "I'm leaving." That had to be the sensible thing to do, right? Jeremy and I had had a million of these fights, and look where we ended up. "I think you should hang out with Howie, and we should both calm down, and talk about this reasonably later."

"When? You have a show, then you'll have to do a party with your band and schmooze whoever EMI puts in front of you. When we get back to the hotel you'll be exhausted! That's why we haven't talked about Jeremy, because he's always there!"

"Well, excuse me for having a job! I know you're not used to women that have actual thoughts and opinions and lives, but I do. This band is the most important thing in the world to me, and I'm sorry if it's cramping your fucking style!" So much for being calm, Rachel.

"It's not my style I'm worried about! It's the fact that your fucking ex is there every time I turn around!"

"He's in my band!"

"Why? Why would you want to spend that much time with him if you hate him as much as you say you do? Or maybe you don't!"

"I never said I hated him!"

"Well, you should, because he's an evil manipulative bastard!"

"Well said, Nicky," a calm voice behind me said. James.

I whirled around, finding James and Howie. James looked at me carefully and I almost fell over.

What was I doing? How many screaming fights like this did James break up between Jeremy and I? I was letting Jeremy goad me into doing it again. I didn't want that again. I loved Nick, he was sweet and kind and wonderful to me, and here I was, screaming at him.

"Oh, please, James, you're the one who let him back into the band."

"Don't even!" I yelled, turning around to face Nick again. "Don't drag James into this, you have no idea!"

"Because you won't tell me!" He wailed.

James put a hand on my shoulder and I jumped. "Ok," he said quietly. "You two are in the middle of the street. Thank god we have no Backstreet groupies here, or we'd be the world's new favorite soap opera. So Rachel and I are going back to the hotel, and Howie and Nick are going to take a little walk around Kansas City. I think you need a little space."

Nick started to say something, but I caught Howie shooting him a look, and he stopped himself. James gently pulled me towards the hotel. "Maybe we'll see each other at the show tonight."

"I am not going to show with that evil bastard there," Nick spat out, and I glared at him.

"Fine! Don't go!"

"Fine! I won't!"

On that childish note, I turned around, walking next to James back to the hotel. He knew better than to say anything to me, so we were quiet until we entered the lobby and I started towards the bar. "Where are you going?" He asked me, and I barely threw him a look.

"I see Jeremy in the bar."

James groaned and tried to stop me, but I stepped past him, glaring as Jeremy smiled up at me. "I am not playing your games any longer, Jeremy. Not for one more second."

"What games?" He attempted to be innocent, but I shook my head.

"You and I had a deeply dysfunctional relationship, and I will be damned if I let you ruin my relationship with Nick." He started to say something and I barreled on. "I don't care if he's too young, and too famous, and too pretty. I love him, and you just trapped me into having a fight with him. I'm not doing this again. I spent four years with you, but you don't get the rest of my life."

"Are you threatening to kick me out again?" He asked, attempting to sound bored.

"If you pull this shit again, either you go or I go. I don't care if we're about to hit it big, I can't live the rest of my life playing your fucking mind games."

"That would be so typical of you to leave because of a boy, Rachel."

I slammed my fist into his table. "It's not because of Nick, you little prick. It's because of me. I'm not doing this again. So stay out of my fucking love life. I'm with Nick now, and I'm not going to let you play with him, or me."

I didn't even listen to his answer, I just whirled around and headed for the elevators. James was right next to me, trying not to grin. "Fuck off," I muttered. "I know I should have done that years ago."

"You should have done that years ago!" He crowed, making me smile, almost against my will. The elevator doors opened and we stepped inside. "Rachel, I'm so proud of you!"

I punched in our floor and leaned against the wall. "Well, tell that to Nick. He hates me right now."

"He doesn't hate you. He's just all hurt and confused because of whatever Jeremy said. He'll calm down and you two will talk it out like grown-ups."

I raised an eyebrow at him. He always used these moments to convince me to break up with Jeremy. "Will we?"

"He can't play your games, Rachel. Maybe he got a little screwed up with Willamanda, but he's no Jeremy."

I sighed, looking away from him. "I thought Jeremy and I were doing OK. He apologized for the stunt with the label."

"He's jealous. It's eating him up that someone else is making you happy." The doors opened to our floor, and James led me to his room. Seeing Nick's stuff right now might make me teary. I was stupid and defensive, I shouldn't have yelled at him.

But he kissed another girl!

I fell onto the couch in James' suite, looking around. "Ours is nicer," I told him. He sat next to me.

"Whatever. It should be, your boyfriend paid for it."

"So I'd better get him back, huh?" I joked, and James smiled at me.

"Yeah, you should. He'll come back, he loves you."

"Nick!" Howie yelled, and I stopped what I was doing, looking at him. Howie never yelled. "You're going to break your other hand if you don't stop."

I was beating up a tree. He might be right. I sat on the nearest bench, drained. Fighting was exhausting, it had been so long since I'd done it, I'd forgotten.

"Are we going to talk about this?"

"What's to talk, Howie? She's still hung up on her ex. I'm, like, rebound guy." No I wasn't. Jeremy was a boyfriend ago. Man, we'd never even discussed Damon.

"She is not still hung up on him. He was just trying to make you jealous."

"She kissed him! She admitted it!"

Let's leave the fact that I kissed another girl out of this, OK?

Howie sat next to me. "Why did she kiss him? This isn't that kiss we saw at the bar, is it?"

I'd forgotten about that one! "No, but-"

He held up a hand to stop me. "I saw that kiss. It was nothing. She's a kissy girl. It was like me doing this." He punched my shoulder.

"Ow," I whined. "That hurt!"

He rolled his eyes. "So she kissed her ex. When?"

"A couple of days ago, when we were apart," I pouted.

"Why? That was the first night of their tour, right? Maybe she was happy about that."

"It was more than that, or she wouldn't have looked so guilty."

"Know what, Nicky? Sometimes old habits die hard. I've seen you get together with Mandy a few times."

"But she's with me now!"

"It's been about a week, right? You haven't taken any vows that I know of yet. Or did you not invite me to the wedding?" He teased, and I tried not to smile.

"No…" I grumbled, and he nodded at me.

"You were apart, what? Three days. Tell me you didn't flirt with anyone when you were hanging out at the clubs down in Tampa…thought so!" Damnit, I could never lie to the fellas. I hadn't even said anything and he figured it out.

"But that was nobody!" I protested. "I didn't even know her name!"

"And that's better exactly how?"

"It didn't mean anything!"

"Maybe it didn't mean anything with Jeremy. Maybe she told him to fuck off. Did you ask her?"

I guess not. I was just angry. I wasn't even sure what I had said to her.

"Give her a little time to cool down, Nicky. We'll go to her show and you can say you're sorry."

"I'm not going! I don't want to see that asshole!"

"I hope you mean Jeremy?" Howie questioned.

"Yes," I snapped. Howie stood up, shaking his head.

"About an hour ago, you said you were starving. Let's find Frank and get some dinner, you'll feel better then."

"I'm fine now," I protested. I hated it when they treated me like a kid.

"Come on. I hear there's a good Italian place a couple of blocks away." He grinned when I looked up at him. "Yes, pizza. Let's go."

We'd had Italian with Em and James a couple of nights ago, but it was fancy stuff, no pizza. "Did I tell you I had dinner with Em Evesham the other night?" I asked Howie, getting up from my bench.

"You left a rambling message on my voicemail about how she was doing their video. Note I listen to my voicemail and remember the details," he teased, and I glared at him. "I can only assume that you left a similar message with Kevin, and that might be one of the many reasons he's pissed at you now. How is the lovely Emma?"

"She's good. I never knew she was so cool before, Howie." He let me ramble on as we walked back to the hotel.

James and I didn't get to the venue until Tsar was on stage, we'd ordered room service and bitched about boys while emptying his minibar. I walked in, expecting Jeremy's wrath, but he didn't say anything when he saw us.

Our eyes met for a long moment, and there was no anger in his. Bizarre. He came over to me slowly, dragging his feet a bit. "Can we talk?"

I glanced up to James for reassurance, and he shrugged. "I'm going to warn the boy about you two," Jeremy muttered. "There's no getting past the team."

James raised an eyebrow at him. "No need to warn him. I like him."

Jeremy sighed, shaking his head. "Rachel? Please? Without the protector?"

James stepped away from us with a shrug. "I'll be with Darien discussing the set list."

We all knew that Jeremy had already done that, but James went to sit with Darien anyway. Jeremy and I were relatively alone, and I gave him a questioning look. "Shoot."

He took a deep breath. "Sorry."

"That was your last chance, J. That was your third and final freak out."

"Four," he corrected, trying to make me smile. "The bus the other night?"

One, the night I told him about Nick after he kissed me. Two, the stunt with the record company. Three, he and Nick trying to kill each other via Final Fantasy the other night.

"Yeah, that was four," I nodded. "So that's definitely it. I'm leaving, Jeremy, that's not a threat."

"I know. It's just… hard."

Sighing, I leaned against the wall. "I thought we did the hard part like a year ago, J. Aren't we OK? We've been good. Not great, but good."

Those first weeks in the studio with him had been terrible. I was still raw from Dad's death, and Jeremy was in my face. Just seeing him was horrible, even if he was on his best behavior because of everything that had happened. That might have made it worse, he was sweet and kind and so much the man I'd fallen in love with. It took a couple of months for him to get bitter again.

He leaned his shoulders against the wall next to me, shoving his hands in his pockets and not making eye contact. "We did. But we always worked well together, Rache. The band was never the problem, we write genius songs together. But… now you're in love, and it's not with me." His voice broke and I just looked at him. Jeremy was never one for much emotion.

"Jeremy, I didn't-"

He shook his head. "It's not that I want you back. It took me a while, but even I can admit that we were a pretty fucked up couple. It's that… last time, you left the band, and Damon was a shit. Nick's actually good to you, what would you give up if he asked?"

"Not this. I learned my lesson with Damon." He looked at me, starting to say something, and I shook my head. "Really. You're the only thing that could make me walk away from this, J. If you don't stop with these power games…"

"I will. I swear."

"I've heard that before," I told him wryly, and he smiled a little.

"OK, I'm an evil manipulative bastard at heart. But I'll try?"

"I gotta have better than that. Don't fuck with my love life. I'm happy with Nick, I know it's new, but right now, I'm happy."

"This was easier when you weren't happy," he admitted quietly, and I nodded.

"If you were all goony in love, I'd probably be a little jealous, too."

"Rache, I don't think 'goony' is within me."

That made us both laugh a little, then he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I'm glad for you. I know I don't show it, but I'm glad you've found someone who makes you happy. It's been a long time."

"Thank you. You'll find someone too."

"Now, who would be stupid enough to date me for oh, four or so years?" He teased, and I whacked him. Tsar bounded into the room, and Jeff started over towards us, then stopped.

"Where is the blond god?" He asked carefully, and I shook my head.

"Probably punching some walls. We had a fight."

"But I liked the Backstreet Boy! It made me feel famous by association!" He wailed, and I laughed, reaching over to mess up his hair.

"He's not gone forever," I protested. "Well, at least I hope not."

"You're the wanton sex goddess, how could he leave?"

Jeremy shot me a little smile, then pushed himself away from our wall and went to argue with James over the set list.

Disclaimer | Sudden Silence Website
Feedback to Authors | Tragical Fiction (home)

Subscribe to receive an email when this site is updated!

Powered by groups.yahoo.com