Oreos
for Breakfast - Chapter 11
By
The Paperbag Princess and The Pumpkin
Coach
Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
All yesterday, I'd been watching this sexy, incredible woman on MTV. And here she was sound asleep in my arms, breathing against me, her hair tickling my skin. How the hell did I get this lucky?
Why the hell
wasn't I with her yesterday? Was that the dumbest thing I'd ever done or the
smartest? Instead I had to watch it on TV and hear about it later. I wanted
to know every detail, but she was sound asleep.
I don't think she moved all night, her arms were still clutching the blankets
to her. I moved against her and she didn't stir, her back still flush against
me. I brushed her hair off her face, she looked so peaceful sleeping here with
me. Leaning forward, I kissed her cheek carefully, not wanting to wake her but
hoping that in her dreams she'd feel me.
I heard a clattering in the hallway and then there was a knock on the door. Damn. Did we forget to put the 'do not disturb' sign out? I jumped out of bed quickly, finding my shorts on the floor and pulling them on before reaching for the door.
I smiled at the cleaning woman and held out my hand so she couldn't come in, "Um… sorry, my friend's still sleeping." I grabbed the sign and put it on the doorknob, smiling at her again, hoping the Nick Carter charm would make her just turn and leave. And it worked! She smiled and then nodded before moving on to the next room.
I heard Lola's voice as I started to close the door. Was everyone up? Didn't they all want to sleep until the show tonight?
"Nick!" Lola's voice called before I could escape back inside the room, and I stuck my head out further, smiling over at her.
"Why aren't you dead to the world?" I asked, considering her. She might be awake, but I could tell the schedule was starting to get to her, too. Her curly blonde hair was pulled back in a bun and she'd stopped wearing her contacts. On the bus the other night, the boys had been teasing her that the librarian look worked on her. I guess so… but I only had eyes for my rock star.
She shrugged, "I didn't have to be pretty for the cameras and sign a thousand autographs yesterday. Is she still sleeping?"
"Well, I checked and she's breathing, so yes. Sleeping. Although I don't think she's moved since she fell asleep last night."
"Yeah, she was pretty tired. Yesterday took more out of her than the others. Everyone wanted to talk to her at the party last night. I think Amber managed to introduce her to every suit in the room."
I glanced back into the room and didn't hear Rachel, so I grabbed my shoes and a shirt from the closet by the door and shut the door slowly. Damn. Where was that nice cleaning woman? I didn't have my key.
Lola caught on, laughing at me, "Do you know how many times you have locked yourself out of your room, Nick? We're going to start fining you!"
I grinned at her, running my fingers through my hair, "Yeah, well… I'm not good with details. I think I owe Kevin like half my royalties by now."
"Frank mentioned that. I think you owe him, too," she laughed. I liked Lola, she was cool.
"Oh, no… you weren't letting Frank fill your head with horrible Nick stories. I'm not that bad, honest!"
"Sure, sweetie," she nodded, a little patronizingly. "I'll get you another key, boy toy. Oh, Rachel will want this."
She handed me a videotape and I just stared at it.
"It's the MTV footage from TRL. They gave it to me yesterday and I had copies made this morning."
"You did?" How did she do that? Didn't she ever sleep?
She laughed at me, walking away, "Oh, Nick, you'd be amazed at what mere mortals can do in a day. I'll be right back."
I stepped into my shoes and pulled on my shirt, following her down the hall, "Do you have any money?"
She stopped walking and just stared at me, her hands on her hips, "What?"
"I was gonna get lunch so Rachel would have something when she woke up and this hotel doesn't have room service," I explained, "Tsar and I found out the hard way yesterday. Got pizza from the down the street instead, but Daniel was so drunk they almost wouldn't let him back into the hotel. Anyway, my wallet is in the room and I thought since I'm up, I should just go and not go back in the room and wake her…"
Lola held up her hand, stopping me. "Boy, you can ramble." She pulled an envelope out of her folder and handed me a stack of bills, "Here's Rachel's per diem. And while you're at it, get me a sandwich."
I leaned over and kissed Lola on the cheek and smiled at her. Again, the Carter charm to my rescue! She feigned swooning and pushed me away. "Go! I'm hungry!"
The elevator doors opened and the two girls waiting for the elevator didn't
even look up, giggling to one another, "Do you think that was really her?"
"Think she gets a private performance every night?" The taller one who was sporting a "wanton sex goddess" T-shirt asked, her eyes wide. "Damn."
I cleared my throat, moving to get off the elevator and they looked over, annoyed. When they recognized me they both screamed and I just smiled, waving to them as the elevator doors closed. I could hear them giggling as the elevator left the floor. I loved doing things like that.
In another couple weeks, that would be my life again. Girls screaming when they saw me in elevators and hotel lobbies. I didn't want to think about that, though, I was having too much fun being my wanton sex goddess' groupie. We knew my fans were still coming to her shows and all, but the level of hysteria had died down - well, some.
I heard familiar music coming from our end of the hallway and smiled to myself and checked the room key Lola had given me earlier. 918. She was smart and wrote the room number on the back, even though they always tell you not to. Well, if someone found it, what were they going to steal? A Game Boy and all my dirty clothes?
Guess Rachel was up. That music was coming from our room. I opened the door quietly, hoping to catch her… I dunno what… writhing around on the bed like all the girls in the pornos do when they're alone?
My own voice met me as I entered the room and as quickly as I recognized the song, I wanted to run away. Fuck.
Rachel was dancing around the room, her hair wet, dressed only in her robe. That damned "Bad Boy" song was blaring from the stereo and she didn't hear me open the door.
"Baby's gotta be the best… and that's me," she shrieked at the top of her lungs. "Oh… hoooowwww!" she screeched, turning around so fast her robe fell open slightly. She stopped when she saw me and started laughing.
"Oh, baby! This is even better on a real stereo!" She danced over to me seductively, singing along and untying her robe, "If you really want it good… If you really want it good… gooooood… goooood…Oh! This is my favorite part, Nick."
She leaned over to the stereo and turned the volume all the way up just in time for my 16 year old self crooning, "I'm your bad boy. I'm your bad boy."
I threw the bag with our sandwiches onto the bed and turned around, "It's been fun, Rache. Bye!"
She screamed, reaching out for me and pulling me back into the room and then fell back against the door, slamming and locking it quickly. "Oh, you aren't going anywhere, Carter. I think I need a private performance of this one."
"Rache…" He could not have whined my name any more than at that moment. I think he was turning red, just looking at me as the song started over. "You have it on repeat? Rache!"
Okay, I was wrong. He could whine my name more if he tried. Oh, this was way too much fun. After his reaction to our teasing last night, I thought I might be able to embarrass him with this song, but I had no idea.
"Come on baby, talk dirty to me," I cooed, coming closer to him and running my hands down his arms and leaning up against him. "I know you can do it better than this, Nick." I stepped up on my tip toes and ran my fingers through his hair, bringing his head down so I could kiss him. It took him a moment, but he responded to me, opening his mouth to my kiss.
He pulled back and looked down at me, his eyes half closed, "I am a professional."
I smiled to myself, hitting 'play' on the stereo again. As the song started over, I pulled myself back on the bed, letting my robe fall open slightly as I leaned back against the headboard.
"You're serious?" he whined and I nodded my head emphatically.
"Oh, it'll be hot, baby." I tried not to laugh as he nodded his head to the beat as if trying to remember the words. "Is there a dance and hand motions to this song, too?" I giggled and he glared at me.
"I'm not tellin'," he pouted before licking his lips slowly and reaching out for the hairbrush I'd left on the dresser. He'd missed the first few bars, coming in as his younger self whined, "oh… I like this." He stopped then and stared at me, waiting for a reaction, he knew that whine made me hot.
If you want it to be wild, gotta know just who to dial, baby… that's me.
I had to cover my mouth to stop from laughing as he shook his head, moving his hips to the beat. He sang into the next verse, his voice dropping and suddenly I didn't want to laugh anymore. I was kind of joking about the private performance, but damn. I wasn't prepared for 22 year old sexy Nick Carter singing this song. He pranced around the room, thrusting his hips at the bass beat and throwing his head back on the "oooowwww"s.
Was this really working for her? She stared up at me, a smile on her face, but I knew that look. That was the wanton sex goddess look. I got that look last night when we were making love. And I got that look when she was on stage and knew in a few minutes I'd be getting her off.
I hadn't sung this song in at least 3 or 4 years. Mandy had joked that she was going to burn my framed copy of our first CD just so there would be no chance that I'd ever play this song for her. She thought it was dorky. But Rachel…oh, I knew she'd like this part.
I leaned over her, my lips just inches from her ear and she reached out, unbuttoning my shorts and darting her hand inside. Grabbing my cock, she pulled me onto the bed as I whispered in her ear:
These are things, your momma shouldn't know
These are things, I really want to show
These are things, I wanna show you how
These are things, So won't you let me show you right now
Oh baby!
Fuck the rest of the song, I wanted to feel him inside me now. I pushed him off me and he landed with a thud on the carpet. I threw a condom after him and he yelled as I pounced on him, "Oh, Nicky. You are so adorable, I can't stand it."
"Am I your bad boy?" He whined and I turned my head, capturing his mouth with mine and sucking on his tongue until he groaned and slipped his hands inside my robe, grabbing my ass and pushing my hips against his.
"Did you always get turned on singing that song, baby?" I growled, feeling his dick get harder as I touched him through his shorts. I kissed my way down his chest and he screamed, trying to squirm away from me as my tongue darted inside his belly button. I loved it that he was sometimes ticklish there. I did it again just to torture him and he grabbed my waist, pushing me off him, and I landed on my back next to him.
Quickly, his body covered mine. He took a nipple between his teeth and pulled hard on me, making me raise my hips up off the carpet. "Well, seeing you half naked on the bed getting so turned on…" he panted against my skin. His free hand dipped between my legs and he slowly pushed two long fingers inside me, sighing against my chest. "Damn, you're wet, baby. I gotta have a little taste…"
"Yes, please," I sighed as he kissed his way down my body and pushed my legs open roughly. There were no tender kisses and tentative licking. The song blared in the background and he shoved his tongue inside me, making me scream. He moved his head from side to side, his nose hitting my clit as he pushed his tongue farther inside me and withdrew just as quickly.
"God, Nick. I'm so fucking close," I growled and he laughed deep inside his throat just like on the record. Damn, he could do that on cue? Why hadn't he done that before? I started to say something but lost my train of thought as he bit down on my inner thigh and pushed his fingers inside me hard. "Fuck! Harder." I screamed and his mouth was on me again, sucking on my clit like a piece of hard candy. I came so hard, I reached back for the leg of the chair behind me to keep myself from squirming away from him.
The laugh thing worked? How did I not know that? She was still moaning and squirming on the floor as I pulled back, grabbing the condom from where it had landed on the floor and pulling off my shorts as quickly as I could.
As she recovered from her orgasm, she looked up at me, her eyes glassy with pleasure. I did that? I made the wanton sex goddess come so hard half the floor heard her scream? Me and that silly little song. Damn, I was buying 10 copies of this CD later today and putting them in every CD player she owned.
I leaned down and she grabbed my shoulders, pulling herself up so she could kiss me. She licked my lips, tasting herself on me and then sucked on my tongue, a moan escaping as she pulled away to breathe.
"Do I get to fuck you now?" She breathed in the space between us and I just smiled.
"And hooooow," I cooed in her ear and she reached down, stroking me like I wasn't hard enough as it was. I pulled her up on her knees, pulling her robe the rest of the way off as he reached forward for the bed, bracing herself against it as I positioned myself behind her.
God, I was only dating younger men from now on. He bit down on my shoulder and slammed into me from behind and I fell forward slightly. Quickly, he pulled me back, positioning my hips so he could get a better angle. Without warning he pulled out and then pounded back into me, making me gasp.
"Harder," I moaned as his cock filled me again and again. God, I loved the feel of him inside me. His tongue, his fingers... but damn, the way he would just pound into me... it always left me wanting more.
"Rache, you are so tight," he groaned, his hands holding onto my hips and tongue darting out to lick the sweat off the back of my neck as he quickened his pace. It only took a few more strokes and he was screaming my name and reaching between my legs, making me come again with him.
I leaned back against him as he slipped out of me and we collapsed on the floor, both trying to catch our breath. He planted tiny kisses along my spine, stopping to trace my tattoo and making me shudder all over again.
"That was so good, baby," I sighed as he pulled off the condom, reaching over to throw it away before pulling me back against him. His 16 year old self whined, "If you like it innovative, you better get someone creative, honey," and we both started giggling. I was still overtired and giddy, so I succumbed to my hysterics, barely catching my breath as I laughed with him.
Finally, I managed to move over to the stereo and turn it off, and silence crashed over the room. Almost immediately, the phone rang, and we looked at it, giggling again. "That is so management, kicking us out," he said, and I stood up, leaping over the bed to pick it up. It was James, I knew it was.
"Yes?" I answered.
"I do not want to know, do I?" James sighed, and I laughed.
"You really, really don't."
"Can I ask you to never wake me up with that song again? How many times did it play?"
"Probably like ten. You could have called."
"I did!" he yelled. "You didn't hear the fucking phone!"
"You could have knocked!" I protested, and he just laughed.
"I thought I didn't want to know. Was he innovative and creative?"
"And hooowwww…" I sang, mimicking the song, and Nick laughed while James groaned.
"I never need to hear that song again."
"You might appreciate it more if you saw Nick perform it," I said, and this time Nick groaned, burying his head in the sheets.
"Hmm…" James considered on the other end of the phone. "Can he still hit those notes?"
"Surprisingly, yes."
"No. Even then, I don't need to hear it. Darien is showing the stuff he taped in one hour in his room. Expect teasing, I think the entire hotel heard you."
He hung up, and I giggled, rolling over on the bed to smile at Nick. "I think the entire hotel heard."
"When I got off the elevator, two girls were wondering if the music was coming from your room."
"Oh, fuck," I laughed. "They are all just jealous."
"No, Rache, I think they're all scared that we had sex to that awful song. I can't believe it turned you on."
"You turned me on, baby. As always." I kissed him. "Now, where were you when I woke up?"
His eyes lit up and he leaned over the side of the bed, looking for the bag that he'd walked in with. "I bought us lunch. This place doesn't have room service."
"Man, Bakersfield sucks."
He nodded, producing the bag. "It does. You should have seen me with Tsar last night, we were all really drunk and looking for food. Daniel ended up fighting with the front desk guy about the fact that they didn't have room service, until we hung up the phone on him. Then we went out and found this pizza place, and they asked to take it out and not eat there."
"You get a little loud when you're drunk, Nick," I told him seriously, pulling things out of the bag. Doritos and Coke and sandwiches, I loved this man. And candy bars!
"Yeah, me plus the four of them, it was bad. I don't think anyone else was on this floor last night, at least I hope not."
"What's this?" I asked him, holding out a videotape.
"TRL," he answered, unwrapping a sandwich. "Lola gave it to me before she gave me your per diem and made me buy her a sandwich."
"My per diem bought Lola a sandwich?" I whined. "She gets her own per diem, she owes me! TRL?" I finished, and he laughed.
"She magically made copies this morning. Do you want to watch it? I got them to give us a VCR yesterday, I knew you'd want it. This is yours," he said, handing me a sandwich. "Tuna."
"I do eat other things," I told him. He had the tuna sandwich down, and he was very proud of that. I might have to get him to move on to ham and cheese or something.
"I know!" he complained. "But you were dead to the world and I took the usual route."
I kissed him. "You are so good. Yes, let's watch TRL. I think."
She considered the videotape as she took a bite of her sandwich. "Should we?" she asked, looking up at me. "Will I cringe with embarrassment?"
"Rache, I just sang the stupidest song we ever recorded for you. I so win on the embarrassment scale today."
"Oh, please." She gave me that 'yeah, right' look. "It ended in hot sex."
"Good point," I conceded, getting up from the bed. "We're watching TRL, because you were great. And you should see the look on your mom's face."
"Did Carson really interview the moms?"
"He did." Thank god he'd never interviewed my mom. I put the tape in the VCR and tossed her my discarded T-shirt. "Put something on, or I'll just ravish you again."
She grinned, catching it. "Maybe I want… oh, wait, we've got to go down the hall to Darien's room in an hour or something, because he filmed all sorts of crap yesterday."
Cool. I couldn't wait to see that. "Colleen told me they were filming the signing."
I stepped into my shorts, grabbing the remote and joining her on the bed again.
"Yeah, Darien filmed everything," she said, taking a bite of her sandwich. "I am so sure there will be embarrassing footage of me sleeping on the plane."
There was. She looked cute, snuggled up against James, then she caught Darien filming and glared at him. She looked even cuter looking at their single for the first time. She was amazing and funny on the radio, and I couldn't hear what she said to anyone at the signing, but it looked like she was being nice.
I was such a fan boy. In every shot, I was looking for Rachel and ignoring the others. They talked around me, but I just watched the tape, laughing at their stories, but searching for her on screen even as she sat next to me, holding my hand as she laughed with her band.
Maybe I wasn't with her yesterday, but she was here now, looking for my reaction to every story, grabbing my hand and pointing at the TV when something cute happened. She cringed when there was video of her singing along to my first album on the plane, and that of course led to even more teasing about the soundtrack this morning.
We were never going to live that one down.
Around three or so, I could feel her fading. She'd only been awake for a few hours, but yesterday had taken a lot out of her, and she leaned against me, yawning. "Do you want to go back to the room?" I whispered to her, and she sighed.
"I need a nap. I'm a wimp."
"No, you've been working hard for weeks now. Come on," I said, starting to stand up from the floor, and she shook her head, stopping me.
"No, you stay here with the boys. I can tell you're not tired."
I wasn't. I wanted to go back to our room and make love to her, but I could tell she was too tired for that right now. She read my thoughts and laughed, jumping up. "Stay here, bunny. I'm just gonna sleep. Maybe check my email." She gave me a quick kiss and endured the teasing about napping in the middle of the afternoon, then left.
I immediately asked for Rachel gossip from yesterday, and they told me all about how every boring industry guy at the party was all over her. Darien had film of her in that outfit, I could see why. It was half an hour before I went back to our room, maybe she'd be rested and we'd have time for sex before she needed to be at the venue.
I walked into the room and Rachel was sitting in front of her computer, sobbing. "Rache, baby, what is it?" I asked, kneeling next to her, and she threw her arms around me, crying against me. "What's wrong?" I pleaded, and she shook her head, motioning towards the screen. It was an email, must be from her brother, Jon@connorvineyards.com.
Rachel -
I felt like Dad today. Remember when 'Long Island' was getting radio play, and he'd have the radio on all day in the winery, and make everyone shut up when it came on? I did that with TRL today. We had the TV on in the winery, and at 4:00 we had probably 50 people in there, and Patrick and I made them all shut up and watch our baby sister be charming and funny and adorable.
My baby sister is a rock star! I can barely believe that was you on the screen.
I'm just so fucking proud of you, Rache. You have worked so hard and so long for this, and I know I told you a few times that you'd never make it, and I've never been so happy to be wrong in my life.
Dad always knew, didn't he? He's so proud of you, I just know it. I could feel him standing behind me at the winery today, watching the TV and beaming. Mom told me that she felt him there in the studio with you, standing next to her and laughing at all your jokes. Now he's finally in two places at once.
The customers loved you, and we sold a dozen copies of the CD. You should have seen the girls when they got home tonight. Even after that three hour drive with Mom and Mrs. P, they were floating off the ground at the amazing day you gave them. They feel like rock stars themselves, I think. They're going to be the most popular girls at school, because their Aunt Rachel is the coolest girl in the world right now.
Fucking amazing, Rachel. How is the hottest babe in the country my little sister? My shy, geeky sister, and her geekier best friend, how are the two of you on TRfuckingL? Even James was amazing. I don't think I've ever seen either of you happier. I'm so glad he's there with you, I know he's taking care of you. If that Backstreet boyfriend of yours hurts you, I know James will be there to kick his ass.
The girls told me he called you a million times today when they were in charge of the cell phone, so I suppose he's being good. He'd better keep it up.
I love you, Rachel. I don't say that enough, but I love you and I'm so damn proud of you. Enjoy every second of this, because it won't last forever. We'll be here watching, and we'll be here when this ride is over, and Dad is too.
Love you.
Jon
Alright, it even made me cry, and there were references to kicking my ass in there. I kissed her shoulder, pulling her closer to me. "That was really sweet," I whispered, and she nodded against me, her sobs lessening.
"I love my brother," she said, sniffling. "And I miss my dad so much sometimes."
I just held her tighter. I didn't know what to say. I never knew what to say about her dad.
"It's so amazing having you here with me through this, Nick. I just love having you here with me nearly every day."
"I love being here," I told her. "I don't think I enjoyed it this much when it was happening to me."
She pulled away, giving me a little smile. "You were just a baby," she teased, and I smiled at her, wiping the tears off her cheeks. Taking a deep breath, she got up, finding the tissues next to the bed.
"But I miss my family so much. Mom and the girls were in New York the other day, but I barely got to see them."
"They still had an amazing time," I said, joining her on the bed and laying down with her. They had. I did call her a million times that day, and most of the time either Katie or Colleen had answered, their little voices just giddy with excitement. They went to the signing and watched everything from the balcony, and hung out at MTV and got to meet nearly all the VJ's. And then they got to talk to me about 40 times, that was pretty cool, too, I guess.
"I know… I just wish I'd gotten to talk to them more, ya know? I don't want them to just remember me from the TV screen in 20 years."
"Never happen, Rache," I warned, stroking her hair as she laid her head on my chest. "You're Aunt Rachel, who makes them waffles and shows them how to sail."
"Not this summer," she whined. "It's gonna be weeks before I get home again. We have one day off here and there, by the time I got there, I'd have to turn around and fly back."
"I know," I whispered. I did, it had been months since I'd been home, and I didn't care nearly as much as Rachel did. "We can bring everyone out for a show, how's that? I'll charter a flight or something."
At least that made her laugh. "That's sweet. But… we can't. They can't close the winery for something like that, the boys couldn't even get away the other day when I was in town. They could do that in like, November, when we're closed to customers anyway. No… I just have to be a rock star and deal with it."
I kissed her forehead and we were quiet for a long moment. I didn't have any other ideas, not really.
When she spoke again, her voice was so sad. "It's just that since Dad died, I want to be home more than ever. I always loved them, but I used to think that they'd just always be there. Now I know that's not true, any second, any one of them could disappear, and I couldn't bear thinking that they might not know that I love them."
"I don't think it's possible that anyone in your family could think that you don't love them. And they're so proud of you, all of them. I don't think you have to worry."
I should probably worry. I suddenly wanted to call them all, Mom and Dad and Aaron and the girls, and tell them that I loved them. Just in case.
"And your Dad knew, too, baby," I whispered. I knew that's what she needed to hear.
"But I'd let him down," she choked out, her voice full of tears.
"Look at you now, Rachel. You know he's watching, he has to be." It was too fucking unfair to think that he might not be.
"Why does he only get to watch? Why can't he be here with me? It's not the same, it's not enough!" She burst into tears again and all I could do was hold her. It sounded like her heart was breaking, and I didn't know what to do. So I whispered stupid things to her, that she was great and amazing and her dad knew that and it wasn't fair that he wasn't here to tell her himself.
Eventually she grew quiet, and it took me a minute to realize she was asleep.
That was good. Maybe that's what this was, as usual, she hadn't been sleeping much. We had a little more than an hour before we had to leave for the venue, she could sleep for a while. I laid there with her for a little bit, but then I just had to call my dad. I slipped away from her, and found her dad's sweater, the one that always made her feel better. I laid it next to her, and she rolled over, pulling it up against herself like a teddy bear.
I took my cell phone out into the hall and ran into James. He started to say 'hey,' then took a closer look at me. "What's wrong?"
"Dad… stuff," I said lamely, and he looked at our door, worried.
"I knew she was getting homesick," he said. "Is she okay?"
"She cried herself to sleep," I admitted.
He glanced at the phone in my hand and gave me a wry smile. "Calling your dad?"
"Yeah," I answered, a little sheepishly.
He shrugged. "Yeah, I've done that myself a few times. Give me your key, I'll go sit with her."
"Thanks." That was good. I didn't want her to wake up alone, but I was freaking myself out and needed to talk to Dad. And Mom.
The phone rang and I sat straight up in bed, looking around for it. What time was it?
"Yeah, we know, Lola," James' quiet voice said into the phone, and I blinked at him, pushing the hair out of my eyes. Why was James… where was I?
I looked around the room, trying to figure it out. San Francisco? Denver? Phoenix? I barely knew. Where was Nick?
Oh, god. I fell apart on him. Damn Jon and that sweet email, I'd chased Nick away, hadn't I?
James laughed and I looked at him. He caught my eye and smoothed down my hair, sitting on the bed next to me.
I was clutching at Dad's sweater in one hand, and I pulled it over my head without thinking about it.
"Long story, hon," James told Lola. "I'll have her ready in 20 minutes, no problem. Is there a shot in hell you can get chocolate chip cookies at the venue? Real ones, not from a bag."
Oh, James. Cookies solved any crisis. After a million Jeremy fights, he'd baked them for me, and I'd sit there at our kitchen table and eat the batter raw, telling James all about how horrible Jeremy was to me. It really was a wonder that James had let him back into the band.
"I fucking love having a tour manager!" he exclaimed, hanging up the phone. "There will be cookies at the venue."
"Are those to soothe my broken heart? Did I scare him away?" I asked, leaning my head on James' shoulder, and he laughed.
"No, you paranoid freak. He went to call his parents, and he didn't want to wake you up. He's a good boy, Rachel."
I nodded. "I sorta fell apart."
"I read the email, I can see why. No, I ran into Nick in the hallway. Looks like he did a good job, he had you all covered up. Did he leave you the sweater?"
"He must have," I said. "I don't remember asking for it." I sighed. "James, I'm so tired."
"I know," he agreed, turning around to see me. "We all are."
"Is that your way of telling me to quit bitching?"
Laughing, he kissed my forehead. "No. I was just saying I knew how you're feeling. You need some dinner and some cookies, then make it through the show and you can crawl into your bunk and sleep."
"I hate sleeping on the bus," I whined.
"Even with the blond god curled up next to you?" he teased, and we both jumped when there was a knock at the door. Shrugging, he got up to answer it. "You did give me your key, didn't you?" he grinned, letting Nick into the room.
"Bunny!" I said, and he smiled at me as I held out my hand to him. "Did I scare you away?"
"No!" he protested, taking my hand. "I just wanted to call my dad. And buy you presents."
I grinned at James. "I must throw fits more often. I get presents!"
Nick laughed, reaching into the bag he was holding. "It was just the hotel gift shop, Rache, don't get too excited. But they had a bunny!" He produced a floppy stuffed bunny for me, and I hugged it to my chest. He'd gotten me one when we were in New York, but I'd forgotten it. I had to call Mom and see if she picked it up for me. "And Oreos!"
A real pack, even, not the little packages from hotel vending machines. I clutched those to my chest, too.
"Aw, c'mon, share," James whined, and I offered him the bunny. "No, the Oreos, you freak. Lola promised real cookies at the venue, but these will tide me over."
Rachel handed him the Oreos and I sat next to her on the bed as he opened them. "Real cookies?" I asked hopefully, and Rachel smiled, leaning against me, still holding her bunny.
She still had tear tracks on her face, but she was smiling, I'd take that. I was glad James was here, he was good at joking her out of these bad moods. "Chocolate chip cookies solve all the world's problems, don't they, James?"
He nodded, taking a handful of Oreos and handing the rest back to us. "They're best when I make them in your kitchen at the Point house, but we take what we can get sometimes."
"Think we can get some of the batter to eat raw?" she wondered, and I nodded.
"That's the best part."
She smiled up at me, and I kissed her carefully.
"You've only got about 15 minutes, kids," James warned. "I'm gonna grab my stuff."
"Fuck, I need to shower," Rachel worried.
"Make it quick, then," James said, letting himself out. As soon as the door shut behind him, Rachel kissed me deeply, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"I'm sorry for falling apart on you, Nick," she whispered, and I shook my head.
"It's fine. I understand, sorta." I didn't, not really. No one close to me had ever died.
"I just get homesick sometimes," she sighed, getting up from the bed. "I'll have to yell at Jon for sending me into a fit." She started to move away, but I caught her hand, making her look at me.
"Are you okay? Can I do anything?"
She stroked my face, smiling at me. "I'll be fine. I need to shower and think about the show. Every once in a while I need to just give in and cry about it, and I did that. Normal is good, I need that."
I smiled at her. "Then can we have sex in the shower?" That was pretty normal for us.
She giggled. "No, because I've only got a few minutes. Pick out something for me to wear, though?"
"Okay," I nodded, getting up to look through what was in the closet. Did she actually trust me to pick out what she should wear tonight? I had no fashion sense. Should I call James for help?
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