Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 13
By The Paperbag Princess and The Pumpkin Coach

Corresponding KTBPA Message Board Posts (Fictional!)

I climbed into the car after signing my final autograph, and Rachel immediately threw her arms around me, leaning her head against my chest. I didn't know what to do for a minute. She was fine, wasn't she? We hadn't slept; between the unscheduled stop at Waffle House and sex on the bus and then when we got to Cincinnati, Em's Alex was here with the baby, and Rachel and Kevin nearly came to blows over who got to hold her first.

But all of that was good. Rachel laughed through our second breakfast, chatting with Em and Alex and playing with Lexa. So why was she holding on to me like this right now? I put my arms around her as the car started moving, and I heard the driver ask Frank which gate we were going to.

Was that it? Leaving me?

She held me tighter, and I stroked her hair, not able to say anything. I didn't want her to leave, either. That's why I was here, that's why I was going with her to the airport. We were probably being trailed by fans, but I didn't care. I wanted a few more minutes with her.

"There's just not enough time in the day, Nick," she said softly, and I bent my head closer to hear her.

"What, buttercup?" I whispered back, and she shook her head against my chest.

"There's not enough time in the day to be with everyone I love. Lexa doesn't even know who I am, and I know all about her little life. And I want to go back to my tour, but I want you to come with me," she pleaded, grabbing onto my shirt.

"I can't, baby," I told her, my heart in my throat. I had my own job to do, and I loved touring and doing my own show… it would just be so much better if she could be with me.

"I know…" She sounded so whiny I almost had to laugh.

"It's a pretty nice bubble sometimes," I tried to tease, and she moved away enough to see me, looking a little sheepish.

"I'm being a baby, aren't I?"

"No," I shook my head, brushing the hair away from her face. "I don't want you to go, either." I kissed her, and she held on, kissing me hungrily.

"We'll see each other in a week," she whispered.

"And we'll talk 20 times a day," I promised.

Was that going to be enough? Nothing was ever enough with her, it seemed like. No matter what, I wanted more.

Our eyes met, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. The phone was not enough. Nothing was enough. Only him with me every minute was enough.

I knew I was just exhausted and overwrought, but I was starting to get scared. It had only been a few days we'd been apart, and now it would be a week before I saw him again, and I could barely stand the thought of it.

"We've both done this before, Rachel. We'll figure it out."

Yeah, we'd both done long distance relationships before. And those worked out just great, thanks.

Then again, I'd been with Jeremy for years, seeing him every day, and that was a disaster, too. Maybe I was just doomed. Maybe it was me.

Nick ran his fingers through my hair, smoothing it down carefully. "I love you, buttercup. Please calm down, okay? You were having fun a few minutes ago, with Em and Alex."

"I never get to see them," I sighed. I knew I was freaking him out. I was freaking myself out. But it was just true. I loved Em and Alex, and I wanted to be part of Lexa's life somehow, but I didn't have the time. Em and I were lucky if we exchanged four or five emails in a month, and there'd been a point when I spent half my time with her.

It was just worse now, because I wanted to be with Nick whenever I had a free moment. At least my brothers and sisters-in-law were coming to our New York show tonight, so I'd get to see them. I was supposed to do dinner with them… god, would I ever get a chance to sleep?

I moved away from Nick, unzipping my bag and looking for something to hold my hair back. I hadn't had a chance to wash it this morning, and it was out of control. "Jon and Patrick are coming tonight, did I mention that?"

"That's cool," Nick said, reaching out to rub my back as I played with my hair. "Are they bringing the girls?"

"Nah, they're scared. The girls are a bit young. Mom's staying with them, and the brothers and the wives are coming for a night on the town. We're supposed to do dinner, but I think we're gonna have a ton of press, so I don't-" My voice broke and I gave up, leaning against Nick again.

"It's alright, baby," he whispered, pulling me close to him. "They know. You've got a lot-"

I shook my head against his chest, and he stopped talking. "Don't. Just hold me. I know I'm being stupid."

"You're not!" he protested.

"I am," I admitted. "Just hold me, that makes me feel better."

"Alright," he said quietly, stroking my back, and I was nearly asleep when we got to the airport. I only had a few minutes to get to my flight, so Nick kissed me in the car and I grabbed my bag and ran for my gate, the exercise forcing other thoughts out of my head. Game face, Rachel, you have work to do.

Sleep. Rachel was safely on her way back to New York, and I needed about 12 uninterrupted hours of sleep. The elevator doors opened and Frank paused, letting the three girls to our left get in first. I started to follow, and he grabbed my shirt.

What?

I turned and saw the look in his eye. Right. Fans. I'd almost forgotten about them. I was walking on auto-pilot. I smiled weakly as the doors slid closed and one of them squealed.

"Don't move until I tell you," Frank grumbled. "How many times have you done this, little man? Let's make it a bit challenging for them and not let them follow you to the room, okay?"

The second part was kind of mumbled under his breath and I shrugged, "Sorry, man. I'm just…" I yawned and heard a camera snap just as my ears popped. "Shit. Can't I just go upstairs?"

I knew that was whiny, but I just needed to sleep.

The next elevator came, and Frank pushed me on first and then turned around, daring anyone to try and follow. Thank god they were all scared of Frank!

"You are wrecked. Want me to call Marty and see if you can skip soundcheck?" Frank offered, but I shook my head.

No, if I ditched, I'd never hear the end of it. And Frank knew it. We exchanged a look as the elevator doors opened. I'd find a couch backstage and catch a nap before we went on. I'd be fine.

"What number?" I asked as we started off down the hall.

"1117. Shit! Key is still at check in. Wait here, and I'll go back and get it. No sense in letting everyone get your picture twice."

I shrugged and leaned back against the wall. I just wanted a bed. Hell, I'd settle for the floor at this point.

"Nick-ay! Nickster! Nicky-boy!"

I heard a million variations of my name come floating down the hall, and I didn't even have to turn around. Shit. How could I forget that Vinnie was joining me in Cincinnati? But I knew the answer to that. Rachel. Everything was about her. When I wasn't with her, I was thinking of her or how to be with her. Damn. Hell, I was just at the airport with her, I should have called him and said we were picking him up.

But then I wouldn't have had the drive back to just think of her and get used to being alone again. I needed that. And I needed some fucking sleep, but here was Vinnie… I turned around to find him lumbering down the hall, decked out probably in my hand-me-downs from the look of it. The dude was so not affording those clothes on his non-existent salary.

"Vinnie!" I shouted as he slapped my back and I hugged him quickly in that way that only men have of touching without really showing affection. "When'd you get in?"

"About an hour ago. Marty told me you had a stop to make, so I settled in."

"Settled in?"

"To the room, dude. I didn't have a reservation. Thought I could crash on your couch, like normal."

"Oh." Like normal. Right. Like the last leg of the tour when things were normal. Pre-Rachel, pre-AJ in rehab and when Kevin still had a sense of humor about everything. Seemed like a lifetime ago.

"That's okay, right? I just assumed."

Vince quickly backtracked, and I smiled, hitting his shoulder with my fist lightly. He was probably my oldest friend. We'd been in elementary school together. Best friends when Backstreet happened and we'd just staying in one another's lives. Anna, Vinnie and Tony, they were the Tampa friends who always stuck by me. Maybe having him would help me stop missing Rachel so much. She had James, after all. I smiled at him, "That's fine, dude. What room are we in again?"

"That's my Nick-ay! Absent-minded, blond dude. You need me to keep you on track, dawg. We're down here in 1117 or something like that. I'll know it when I see it."

We set off down the hall and sure enough, he picked the right room. I stepped inside and stopped short. Damn, Rachel teased me about exploding all over a hotel room, but I must have learned it from Vince. The place was a complete mess. Clothes and game cartridges thrown around the room. One of the chairs was pulled in front of the television with the Nintendo already set up.

I glanced around the room. This one had a full length mirror at the end of the hall. Damn. Rachel should have come back with me.

I smiled at the thought of making love to her yesterday, finally being able to watch her as I moved inside her from behind. I loved the feel of her against me as I collapsed against her back, letting her support my weight for a split second as everything fell away. Everything but her. For that moment we were so connected. And yesterday I'd been able to look up and see it in her eyes. That had to be love, right?

"Nickolas!" I turned to find Frank standing in the doorway. Shit. If this were a cartoon, there'd be smoking billowing out of his ears. Hey, I'd never drawn Frank as a superhero, had I? More like a villain, the way he was giving me the evil eye just now.

"I turn my back for 2 seconds, and you're gone! This place is crawling with fans and press, Nick."

I shrugged, "Sorry. Vinnie here had the key so…"

Frank just rolled his eyes, "Hey, Vince. Get some sleep, Nick. I'll give you a 20 minute call before we leave for the venue."

I nodded, "Thanks, man." I probably didn't tell Frank 'thank you' enough, did I? Rachel would. She was always thanking Lola and Steven. Even Amber, on occasion. I just assumed everyone would take care of me, didn't I?

"Frank-ster sure is cranky, dude. He not getting any?" Vinnie laughed and I just smiled. Did Vinnie know Frank was gay? I didn't until a few months ago, maybe he didn't either?

"He's fine. We just didn't sleep much last night. And stopped sometime early this morning for breakfast with Em and the other fellas."

"Em? That hot photographer? Dude! I should have shown up in Milwaukee. Bet there were a lot of hot women hanging around, so happy to have you all back and willing to show you just how…"

I cut Vinnie off, "It was great, Vin. But I didn't sleep much. Rachel was there." I let my voice trail off. Had I mentioned Rachel to Vinnie? Sure I had, hadn't I?

I threw my bag down in the bedroom and considered the bed for a second, but Vinnie was right behind me. He sat down on the bed and smiled up at me.

"Rachel? That chick you met a couple months ago? The one that's in a band? Anna mentioned her! So, are you fucking?"

I glared at Vinnie, too tired to ignore him, "We're together, yeah. After AJ left the tour, I spent some time with her at her place in Long Island. It was really cool."

"Wondered why you didn't come back home, dawg. We missed you," Vinnie sniffed dramatically, making me laugh.

"You missed the VIP-treatment, dawg." I smiled at him.

"Yeah, maybe," Obviously tired of our conversation, he grabbed the remote and turned on the television. Immediately, Rachel's voice filled the room, and I fell onto the bed, staring at her. It was our video. Our perfect day. Instinctively I reached for my phone and punched her number in. Vinnie moved to turn the channel, and I wrestled the remote away from him.

"That's her, dude! Rachel." I pointed to the TV with the remote. My Rachel. My wanton sex goddess.

"Fuck me! Nicky, she's totally hot!" His mouth was hanging open, and I pushed him off the bed.

"Mine!" I responded as the phone rang. Two rings and voicemail. Right. She was still on the plane. "Hey, buttercup. I just got back to the room and Vinnie turned on the TV and there you were. When I hang up, I'm gonna call MTV and vote for you a million times. Love you. Call me when you land, okay? I wanna know you're safe."

I hung up my phone and only then noticed that Vinnie was laughing hysterically. "What?" I whined.

"You! Dude, you are so far gone! Is she really all that? No chick is all that, Nick!"

Rachel is. I watched him laugh for a minute and then fell back on the bed, closing my eyes briefly and just listening to her voice. I needed to get used to this. For a while, it was okay. Everyone in her band was used to us. I never acted like this over a girl, but they didn't know that. They just thought it was cute. But my friends think I'm a player, and the fellas just worried about Mandy crap when they saw me with Rachel. I saw the way Kevin watched us yesterday. I didn't know how to tell any of them that Rachel was different, she was special, and we were good together.

"Know what, Vin, I didn't get any sleep last night. So, I'm sorry, but amuse yourself for a while."

He gave me a knowing look. "Yeah, I know how that is. She as hot as she looks on the TV?"

"Hotter. I'll tell you about it later, alright?"

It took every ounce of energy I had to pull myself onto the bus. That so didn't go well. It was like I was the walking dead. Thank god the station didn't want pictures. But we'd had to do the station ID about 12 times because I kept fucking up my line. I could just hear Jeremy yelling.

I glanced out the window, and they were all crossing the street. I rummaged in my bag for an aspirin. Anything to take the edge off this headache. I knew it was lack of sleep. And real food. There'd been Waffle House at four in the morning, and I'd ordered breakfast in Cincinnati, but I'd been too busy prying Lexa away from Kevin to eat it. Since then I'd had a couple cups of coffee in there and Bloody Mary on the plane. What time was it, anyway?

"So is this how it's going to work, then?"

Jeremy dropped into the seat next to me on the bus and put his feet up on the seat across the aisle. I stopped pawing through my bag and zipped it back up. Maybe Lola had something, she always did.

"What do you mean?" I glanced over at him, and he tilted his head toward the phone in my lap. Right, it'd rung at the end of the interview. I'd nearly forgotten.

"Traveling on every day off to be with him, returning to us cranky and tired and depressed and tragically attached to your cell phone?"

"I'll assume that bitterness in your voice is just natural, J."

"Seriously, Rache. How?"

I shrugged. I didn't want to have this conversation with anyone, let alone Jeremy. Truth was, I had no clue how it was supposed to work. Last night when we were making love on his tour bus, it all seemed fine, but now I wasn't so sure. Jeremy was right, I was bad when I didn't sleep. It was bad enough when Nick just wasn't with us, but right now I was exhausted and lonely and miserable.

"I don't know, Jeremy. Seriously. We'll figure it out. We're adults." But I'm so happy with him, I wanted to scream. None of you understand that! It's like I can't breathe when I know I'm not going to see him.

Damn, I was tired and overwrought. I did this too well. And Jeremy knew that.

He started to say something, and I slapped my hand over his mouth, "Don't even start. Okay?"

His eyes were wide and he nodded, and I took my hand away.

"Oh! Can I gag him next? Pretty please?" James swanned onto the bus and took the seat in front of us.

"Very funny, James." Jeremy snarled. "I was just trying to get clarification from Diva Princess here how this whole Nick situation is going to work from now on. I mean, I don't mind that he's not on the bus…"

"I do!" James interjected, "At least when he was with us she wasn't pining for him. Stop looking at your phone, dear."

He nodded to my phone, too, and I slipped it inside my pocket. "Okay! Okay! I will stop obsessively listening to the incredibly sweet messages my adoring boyfriend is leaving me!"

I stuck my tongue out at Jeremy, and he laughed. "Oh, Rache, you are so not a chocolate boxes and roses kind of girl. Give me a break!"

"Maybe I am, J. Maybe you just never saw that."

Now who was bitter? That was just mean. I sighed, leaning over and ruffling his hair, making him scowl at me.

"I'm sorry I'm preoccupied, okay? I'm just tired, and my head is killing me. I'll catch up on sleep and be better tonight. Promise. I'll figure it out."

"Yeah, now aren't you regretting not wanting to overlap with them?" James interjected, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

I laughed, "Maybe… a little bit. Are you still sure that supporting slot is a no-go? I'm sure I could pull a few strings."

"That reminds me! N*Sync is on TV tonight!" James squealed and Jeremy and I just stared at him, too weirded out to say anything. "What?"

"How'd we get from my boyfriend to N*Sync, James?"

"Strings!" James clarified.

"Rache? Are you losing the psychic connection with James?" Jeremy asked, shocked. "I think all those chocolate boxes and roses are going to your head, dear!"

"Very funny," I scowled at Jeremy.

Lola boarded the bus, and we were on the move again. This was New York, you'd think we could just take a cab to interviews, but no, we had the whole damn bus. I glanced out the window, the cool glass feeling good against my head. I needed more coffee. Could I just mainline the caffeine?

"Earth to Rachel!" Lola's voice snapped me back to attention, and I realized I'd dozed off for a moment. The bus was stopped and there was drool on my hand where I'd been leaning on it. I wrinkled my nose and wiped my hand on my jeans.

"I'm here," I yawned, and James handed me a tissue.

"The drooling is really charming, dear," he whispered, and I stuck my tongue out at him, taking the tissue.

Lola filled us in on the routine. A news show thing, print interview for our show on Monday and then radio. Drive time on Long Island, of course. After that, I got to take a shower and entertain my brothers and the wives. I was so forcing James to come to dinner with us. And then the show.

James raised his hand, making us all laugh.

"Yes, Jamie," Lola smiled at him.

"I think we need to excuse Rachel from the radio thing so she can stay at the hotel and get some sleep. She's completely wrecked."

I just stared at James. I did want to sleep, but…

"No."

But Jeremy wouldn't let me skip out on anything, now, would he? His voice came from behind me, and I turned to look at him. He avoided me, staring at Lola.

"This is a band, James. We do press together. Unless there's more than one thing, then we can switch off, cover more ground that way."

"No special treatment for the girl," I interjected. "Are we finished now, Lola?"

She was confused but nodded, moving aside as the boys climbed off the bus.

"Rache?" She grabbed my arm as I went by. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a headache. Do you have anything?"

She disappeared into her bunk and came back with a blue pill, handing it to me, "It will wake you up." I eyed her suspiciously and she laughed, handing me the bottle, "Don't take them everyday, but they won't hurt you. Promise."

I threw one into my mouth and swallowed, making a face at the bitter taste as the pill slid down my throat. "Ick!"

As I climbed off the bus, James was there, "What the hell is that?" he challenged, looking down at the pill bottle in my hand.

"Nothing, I have a headache. Lola said it'd wake me up some."

"Speed. Fuckin' great! You need to sleep, Rache. Not take an upper. Christ. How much did you get?"

"Sleep or sex?" I attempted to joke, and he scowled down at me. "I'm fine, James. I'll sleep tonight. We're just in Providence tomorrow, it's a quick trip, and I can probably sleep in. Quit worrying about me."

"Rache, we were on that bus for 2 minutes and you fell asleep. You can't do this, jetting off to see the boy wonder, not sleeping and then coming back to us a wreck. You're gonna fuck up, and Jeremy is going to freak."

"So let him fuckin' freak, James!" I stopped walking. "I don't need you to protect me!"

"Well, you need someone to do something! You're a mess, Rache!"

"Fuck you, James!"

He stormed off, and I just watched him as he disappeared into the building. Why was I fighting with James? And taking whatever Lola just handed me?

He was right. I could feel myself spinning out of control, and it'd only been a few days. I was going to fuck it up. All of it. Jeremy was going to hate me, and he'd leave the band, or kick me out, and then Nick wouldn't love me anymore, and then where would I be?

"Rachel?" Darien touched my arm and I jumped a mile, startled. "What's wrong? Why is James storming off into the lobby?"

"I need an hour, D. I need a shower and a bed." I hadn't stopped moving since I got off the plane. I came to the hotel and Lola just put me back on the bus. I didn't even think they got me a room.

"You won't need a bed in about ten minutes, Rache. The magic blue pills work." Lola smiled at me from behind Darien, and I so regretted taking that stupid pill. I wanted to hit her for giving it to me.

"I need some space, then, or I'm going to kill someone. That's your job, right? Give me a fucking room key and get me an hour."

She just raised an eyebrow at me, then reached into her pocket and produced a room key. "You can use mine. I'll come and get you in a hour."

"Thank you," I sneered, grabbing the key from her and stalking into the hotel. I didn't even look for James or Jeremy, just found the elevators and got on.

There was a ringing in my ear, and I pulled the covers over my head to block it out. It stopped, then started up again. Reaching out blindly, I whacked at the clock, but it didn't stop.

Phone. Right. "What?" I yelled into the receiver.

"We leave in half an hour, little man."

"Right." I slammed the phone down and rolled over.

Leave for what? Where the hell was I? It was light outside, and the TV was on. I squinted at it… hey, that was Rachel! They were number two today! She'd be so excited, I needed to call her.

Maybe she'd be excited. Last time I talked to her, she was trying not to cry. Was that just a few hours ago?

I sat up and my head spun. What did I do?

Nothing. I was just beat. Too much sex and emotion, not enough sleep. There was a knock on the door, then I heard Vinnie's voice.

His was not the voice I wanted to be hearing.

"That wake up call work, Nick?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "You can come in."

He came in, falling on the bed next to me. "Your girl is at number two today."

I just nodded. I couldn't talk yet. She'd be at number one if I'd been awake to vote for her. I wondered if she'd gotten any sleep. Probably not, they were in New York today.

"I think I heard your cell ringing, but it was in here, so I didn't answer it." I leaned over the side of the bed, spotting my phone on the floor, and picked it up. Yeah, messages. Vinnie was saying something, but I ignored him, going into the bathroom and starting the shower as I listened to Rachel ramble at me.

"Oh, bunny, where are you? Sleeping, I bet, you bastard. They didn't let me sleep, I had to do radio, and Jeremy yelled at me, and Lola gave me a pill… I shouldn't have taken the pill, that was a bad idea, I'm a little jumpy now. Maybe that's why I pulled such a diva. You would have been proud of me, Nick, I made them give me an hour. I took a shower, and I just ordered lunch, and I wanted to talk to you, but you're fucking sleeping!"

She almost sounded angry about that. What the hell kind of pill did Lola give her?

"So I got an hour, but now I'm a little scared. I think the boys are gonna yell at me. Well, maybe not Darien, he saw how upset I was after James yelled at me. I fucking hate fighting with James, Nick. It's like… it's just so wrong. James is the most constant thing in my life, and when we're fighting, it makes everything all upside down. I know he was just worried about me, I shouldn't have yelled at him like that."

She was quiet for a second.

"I'd apologize if I knew where he was. I need to apologize to Lola, too, I totally pulled rank on her. I think I already apologized to Jeremy. Fuck it if I didn't. So, let's see, basically the only person not mad at me now is Darien, but he watched me rank on Lola and he probably hates me now, too. Fuck, Nick…"

Those were definitely tears in her voice. Why the hell had I been asleep?

"This has not been a good day. I thought an hour alone would be good, but now I'm not so sure. It's giving me too much time to think. I got a shower, though, I needed that. And it's probably good that I took that pill, right? Because I was fucking useless at our first press thing earlier."

She sighed, and I sighed with her. Where was she now? When did she leave this message?

"Oh, Nicky, this day in NYC is not nearly as good as the one last month. That was so cool… MTV and the signing and all. Oh, fuck, they're knocking. Hopefully it's lunch. I need something to counteract all that grease at Waffle House. Love you. Talk to you later."

That was it. All my messages. I dialed her quickly, sighing when it went into voicemail.

"Hey, buttercup. I'm sorry I was sleeping while you were having such a shitty day. I hope it got better. I bet James didn't want to be fighting with you, either. And I know Lola will forgive you. Hell, Frank forgives me all the time, and I'm way worse than you are. Don't take any more weird pills, okay? Love you. I gotta run, but call me later. We're leaving right after the show, I think you are, too. I'll tell Vinnie to play video games and we can talk all night."

"Who the fuck is Vinnie?" I asked as soon as I heard his voice, and he laughed.

"A friend of mine. He's with me for a couple days."

"He is?" How had Nick never mentioned this? And why the hell did Vinnie get to get to be there when I was trapped on this fucking bus with my stupid boys?

I hated everyone.

"I can't believe I didn't tell you."

"Neither can I," I snapped, and Nick was quiet for a second, probably because of my tone.

"I sorta forgot," he confessed, and suddenly it was quieter. There had been video game noises before. "I came back to the hotel after dropping you at the airport, and there he was."

"How nice for you."

He just went on, ignoring my tone. "I was sorta rude, though, and just fell into bed."

Even fucking better. He got to sleep while I was fighting with everyone.

"I got your message, baby-"

His voice was too sweet. No. "Where are you?" I asked.

"On the bus," he told me.

"I know that," I snarled. "It's one in the morning, obviously your show is over. But where did the video game noises go?"

"In the bedroom, with Vinnie. I'm on one of the empty bunks now. Frank's watching a movie or something, and Vinnie's shooting things. It's good. I can talk."

Vinnie was in the bedroom. I didn't even know Vinnie, and I hated him. That was my bedroom, where Nick and I spent all last night, unable to get enough of each other. "Does Vinnie know what happened in that bedroom last night?"

Nick laughed. Yeah, he probably told his buddy all about how great it was, bragged that he got me off 20 times and I was begging for more. That's how guys talked, right?

"I told him I didn't get any sleep, he might have figured it out."

"I hope they changed the sheets."

"They did," he assured me. "The magic bus cleaning elves took them away."

She didn't laugh at my joke. It was a stupid joke, but still… "How was your show tonight?"

"Fine," she said shortly.

"And your family was there, right? Did you shock your brothers with your wanton sex goddess-ness?"

"I didn't ask them," she said dryly, and I gave up.

"Did you call me just to be mean?" I asked. She called me. I left her about 10 nice messages on her voicemail, and now she was snarling at me. I knew she was exhausted and cranky, but she didn't need to call me, she could have gotten some sleep.

"Fuck you, Nick. At least you got to sleep today."

"Then why did you call me? Why aren't you in bed?" I snapped, and we were quiet for a moment.

"I'm sorry," she finally said, her voice shaky. "I'm saying that a lot today."

I could tell she was crying. Tears of exhaustion and frustration, and I wanted to hug her and tell her it was okay. "Did you make up with James?" I asked carefully, and she laughed a little.

"I was talking to you, right, when there was a knock at the door?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"That wasn't room service. It was James, he'd come to apologize. And Lola was fine, too, she knows from spoiled rock stars. I think Jeremy is a little grumpy with me still, but that's sorta a constant state with him."

"Screw him."

"Yeah," she agreed with a giggle, and I relaxed back against the bed.

"I'm sorry you had such a terrible day, Rache. It's all my fault."

"I'm a big girl. I could have insisted upon sleep at some point."

"Yeah, I think you woke me up in the middle of the night…" I teased, rewarded by another giggle.

"Don't tell my boys that, okay?"

"Great, make me the bad guy!" I grumbled, and she laughed.

"Hey, you're not here. It's better than having everyone hate me."

"Alright, buttercup, I'll be the fall guy. I usually am," I complained.

"I love you, Nick. I'm sorry for being so mean."

"It's okay. Really. I know you're just tired, so I am. Why don't you get some sleep, baby?"

"I wanted to talk to you first," she admitted through a yawn. "Hadn't talked to you all day."

"I know." I did. I hated this, playing phone tag all day. We'd both be cranky forever if the only time we got to talk was in the middle of the night. "Do you get to sleep in tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "We should be in Providence in a couple of hours, then there's nothing until noon or so."

"Good. Get some sleep, buttercup. I love you."

"Love you, too. Have fun with Vinnie."

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