Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 16
By The Paperbag Princess and The Pumpkin Coach

Corresponding Message Board Posts (Fictional!)

"You are not taking that!" Tony commanded, plucking the cell phone out of my hand and tossing it on the bed.

"But- I-" I protested, reaching for it as he pushed me towards the door.

"You're not taking it!"

"Rachel's working, right?" Vinnie took my other arm, continuing our journey out the door. Thank god they were staying in the room across the hall; they were starting to drive me crazy. "Forget about her for a night."

I couldn't. I knew that was impossible. What if she had a business question, and I wasn't there to answer it?

She'd ask Jeremy, or Lola, or someone else. Rachel was a perfectly capable woman.

"Look at him, he is so whipped," Tony sighed, shoving me into the hallway. "You can just tell he wants to run back in there for the phone."

Vinnie made the sound of a whip crack, and Tony meowed. I'd been hearing that all day. "Fine," I sighed. "I won't take my phone." They high-fived behind me.

"You aren't borrowing mine, either," Frank drawled, and I looked over at him. Definitely needed Frank tonight. Fans were everywhere, I could practically feel them. "Although if you get out of hand, I might call her."

I glared at him. He wouldn't. Besides, what would I do? I was gonna drink a little, maybe dance. I could flirt, right? Flirting was nothing.

I swear to god I heard the phone ringing as I walked away.

God, still voicemail? It was three in the morning, didn't clubs in Boston close at two? I knew his phone was off, because it only rang once before going into messages. Maybe he lost it. Maybe he had it with him and forgot to turn it on. Would he really go out without his phone? That was so unlike him.

Maybe he was out, and he was with some hot young thing that was treating him like the god he was. Completely unlike his old and tired girlfriend, who hadn't been able to talk about anything but work for two days. I was a horrible girlfriend.

I was an exhausted girlfriend. I hadn't had more than a few hours sleep at a time in days. I eyed the bed, but if I laid down, it was all over. I unpacked quickly, and washed my face, slipping into an old T-shirt of Nick's to sleep in. He was all sweet last night, knowing I was wearing his clothes to bed.

He was so sweet. Such the bunny, listening to me go on and on about stupid business shit lately. He was amazing the other night when I told him about Damon and the abortion. Funny, one of the reasons I didn't want to get together with him in the first place is I was worried he was too young, but these last few days had proven he could be wise beyond his years.

3:30, maybe he was back now? Voicemail again.

Damnit. I hated falling asleep without saying good night to him. Last time I did it, he was on the phone with Willa all night. I hated that I was feeling jealous right now.

Scowling, I crawled into bed and flicked on the TV. I was being stupid. Nick loved me. He told me over and over again, he did a million lovely things for me every day. He was just out with his buddies, getting drunk and stupid. He was only 21, as mature as he was in some things, he still had that urge to party that I lost a while ago. He should go out and party, he was allowed. He was young and gorgeous, why not? He could flirt with some pretty young things and make their night, just as long as he came home to me.

I could kiss her. One inch closer and our lips would be touching. She had pretty lips, I couldn't make myself stop staring at them. Red, nice lipstick, not like Rachel, she had sweet pink lips…

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I sat back on my barstool, reality crashing in on me. The girl smiled, trying not to look disappointed, I could tell.

Fuck!

I smiled back at her, trying to be nice, when I really just wanted to run upstairs and call Rachel, tell her how much I loved her. I wasn't about to kiss some other girl, no, not me. Not some girl with big breasts and long blond hair, whose name I … Erin. No. Ariel. Like the Little Mermaid, right, we had that conversation.

Drunk. I was so drunk. I could certainly be forgiven an almost-not-quite-inch-away kiss, right? What time was it?

"Almost four," Ariel said, glancing at her watch.

Did I say that out loud? What else did I say out loud? Fuck.

Ariel laughed, putting her hand on my arm and leaning closer so that her breasts brushed against me.

Did she know that Rachel had small breasts? That never bothered me, I loved Rachel's breasts, I teased her that they were just a handful…

But big breasts were nice, too.

"What's going on in that pretty blond head, Nicky?" she purred. "You look all sorts of confused."

"Just… tired. Had way too much to drink," I covered. Badly.

She had really pretty hair. Blond, might even be natural. I was sure she'd let me know if I just said the word…

I could not say the word. Not that I really knew the word, but whatever. One right look and she'd be naked in my bed in minutes, I knew it.

I couldn't do that.

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, I chanted to myself, shutting my eyes briefly, summoning up her face. Sex with a stranger was not worth losing Rachel, no matter how horny I might be right now.

Phone sex would have to do. It would be fine, yeah, I loved her voice…

I opened my eyes and Ariel was still in front of me.

Fuck, this was such a sure thing I didn't know the word to get her to leave me alone. Why did I never get that handbook? I was a fucking pop star, and I was terrible at this. I didn't need to be good at it, girls did all the work for me.

Taking a deep breath, I excused myself. Bathroom, yeah, I was drunk, right…

Damnit, what was I doing?

I splashed some cold water on my face, staring at myself in the mirror. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.

"Dude, she is hot! Did you see mine?" Vinnie yelled, slamming into the bathroom with me. What if we weren't alone? Hell, he was so loud I bet everyone in the bar could hear him.

"Yeah, I saw her." We'd been hanging out with the same three girls for hours now. Right?

I couldn't remember. There had been a lot of drinks and a lot of girls at that club. The same club I went to with Rachel, all those weeks ago, Aria. And, like with Rachel, we came back to the hotel, but I think we drove this time. At least I didn't remember walking through the park…

No, I'd remember that. I liked walking through parks with Rachel, reminded me of our first kiss. Even if she did reject me, it was so sweet…

"Earth to Nicky!" Vinnie barked. "You okay?"

"Tell her I'm sick, alright? I'm going up." I pulled out my wallet and shoved some money at him. "Be a gentleman, make sure she gets in a cab."

"Dude, no, no, you can't do this. You say no and our girls will go with her, they're friends, you know how girls are."

"I can't do what, Vin? I'm fucking going to bed. Alone."

"And that makes Tony and me go to bed alone, too, dickhead! Just because you've got the perfect Rachel, who's probably off screwing some-"

I pushed him against the wall, my arm against his neck. "Not one more word, asshole. You don't even fucking know her." He started to say something and I put more pressure on him. "I am not fucking up my relationship with Rachel so that you and Tony can get laid. Understood?"

He nodded reluctantly and I let him go. "Bastard," he muttered, rubbing his neck and glaring at me.

"I have put up with you and Tony bitching about Rachel all fucking day. I've fucking had it. I'm going to bed." I left, avoiding the bar as I stormed towards the elevators. Fucking assholes! All or fucking nothing, like I was ruining their lives for not screwing that girl. There had been plenty of times that my friends had gotten laid and I didn't.

The elevator arrived and I stepped on, startled when Frank joined me. "I figure your friends can take care of themselves."

They could go fuck themselves, for all I cared.

"That pretty little blond looked disappointed when you slammed out of there."

"Shut up, Frank." I shut my eyes, rubbing my head. Where did this headache come from? I should have had another drink… fuck that, I had alcohol in the room. Make a drink, call Rachel, phone sex…. Call Rachel, phone sex, make a drink… Phone sex, call Rachel, make a drink?

Needed Rachel for the phone sex, otherwise I was just talking to myself. Right.

Frank shut up. He knew better than to argue with me in this sort of mood. I slammed the door to my room behind me, turning on a light and looking for my phone. Where did…. Bed, right. I hit her number, ignoring my voicemail screaming at me.

No answer?

I clicked out and hit it again. I knew it was on, it rang five times before switching into voicemail. She was just asleep.

Fuck sleep. I needed her. I pulled off my clothes, not even bothering with a candle. Fuck the mood, I just wanted her voice in my ear while I got off. Then I could stop thinking about Ariel's big breasts and her pretty blond hair.

"This had better be good," she grumbled, and I fell back on the bed.

"Of course it's good, baby. It's me."

She sighed. "How drunk are you?"

"A little." A lot. Does she sound annoyed, or is that just my imagination? She was probably sleeping, She'd wake up in a minute and be fine.

"Too drunk to listen to your voicemail, obviously."

"What?"

"I left you about 20 messages, but the last one asked you nicely to not call, because I wanted to sleep."

"Your fucking phone was on!"

I blinked at the phone for a second. Yeah, I was being whiny, but that tone was a bit uncalled for.

"I was half asleep, I must have forgotten."

We were quiet for a second. I didn't want to fight with him, but I didn't want to be awake, either. His voice was soft when he spoke again and I knew why he'd called.

"You're awake now, baby, I know a good way to relax you…"

"I'm already relaxed, Nick. Believe me."

He sighed, sounding annoyed. "C'mon, baby…"

"It's 'Rachel,'" I snapped. "Did you forget my name?" Once in a while, I could handle being called 'baby." But not constantly, and not right now.

"No, that's right, Rachel," he sneered. "The one who only wants me when I can do something for her."

"What?" I whispered. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"You can bug me when I can do something for you, when I can get you a management deal, but when I want something from you, you're too tired. Is that how it works, Rachel?" He snarled my name, and I snapped.

"What, you spoiled little fuck? You think you made The Firm call me? They were calling me already, without your goddamn help, so don't think I owe you such a fucking debt. I'm certainly not getting you off in return. What's got you all worked up, anyway? Some hot little groupie leave you high and dry?"

"No, I left her, because I wanted to talk to my girlfriend," he yelled. "I walked away from her, and she was fucking hot, so the least you can do-"

"Don't even finish that sentence, little man. This conversation is over."

She fucking hung up on me! I tossed the phone across the room and jumped off the bed, going over to the bar and taking a drink from the first bottle that hit my hand. Scotch, gross.

But I felt the burn go down my throat, and it was better than the burn in my head. That bitch. I wasn't asking for anything, I just wanted to talk to my girlfriend. I just wanted her to remind me why I walked away from that girl downstairs, and damnit, I couldn't think why. At least Ariel was sweet, laughing at my jokes, making me feel interesting and smart. Rachel treated me like a fucking annoyance, getting in the way of her fucking sleep.

Okay, she hadn't really slept in days, I knew that, but… fuck, after all I'd done for her over the last couple of days, she couldn't talk to me for ten minutes? Hell, five. I was a little worked up…

Was being the operative word. I looked down at myself, naked, hoping to get lucky.

Like phone sex was 'getting lucky'? Phone sex sucked. Glorified masturbation. Ariel would have taken care of me. Hell, she probably still would, if she was still there. I could throw on my clothes and bring her up here and blow her fucking mind. She'd be talking about it for years, her night with a Backstreet Boy.

Then I'd have to face Vinnie and Tony, and they'd know Rachel had blown me off. No, not even getting laid was worth that. I found the hotel robe and pulled it on, going out to my balcony, I needed some fucking air.

It was cold out at four in the morning, but that was what I needed.

Months ago, I'd stood out here and looked at almost exactly the same view with Rachel. She blew me off then, too, what was it about fucking Boston? I hated this fucking city. Rachel blew me off, AJ went into rehab, and my friends were fucking losers. They were only here because I was paying for it, and Vinnie gave me a fucking guilt trip about not getting him laid? What else did he fucking want from me?

Of course, he was right, I could be fucking that girl right now.

And then what, Nick? I'd wake up in the morning with a hangover and guilt. I always had guilt with a one-night stand, always. I could never just leave it in the bedroom, no, I felt bad. How would I feel knowing I'd cheated on Rachel?

Fuck.

I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up.

Oh, god. What an asshole. I wanted to guilt Rachel into phone sex by telling her I'd turned down a groupie? Fucking good one there, Nick. Did I really say that? Did I really say that all she wanted from me was my connections?

Insecure much? Christ, I was a piece of work.

I should have fucked Ariel, Rachel was never going to forgive me, anyway.

That self-centered, egotistical, immature piece of shit. I did not need his fucking connections. He thought I'd be impressed that he blew off a groupie, that then I owed him some quick phone sex? Fuck that shit.

I wanted to throw things, but James was on the other side of one wall and Lola was on the opposite. I grabbed my cigarettes and opened the door to my barely there balcony. Downtown fucking Indianapolis, at least it wasn't Lexington fucking Kentucky.

Brian and Kevin were from Kentucky, weren't they? Did I tell them we were in Kentucky when we talked today? Yesterday, now. Whatever. I should have, Kevin was so great on the phone.

Did I owe Nick an extra blowjob because he got his friends to help me out? Or did I just give it directly to Kevin and Howie, was that part of the deal that he didn't tell me about?

I screamed quietly, stomping my feet against the cold concrete. Immature little bastard. This was not sex for favors. I didn't need favors, and he evidently didn't need me for sex. What the hell was that about the groupie? Is that what it was, some groupie had him all hot and bothered, so he turned to me? He had two fucking hands, he could take care of it himself.

My hands shook as I lit a cigarette, I was so angry. Nick hated it when I smoked, it just drove him crazy. He gave me lectures about my voice and my health and god knows what else. Like he'd never done worse. A couple of cigarettes a week when I was drunk was nothing compared to sex with strangers.

Oh, wait, I'd slept with more people than he had. Well, maybe he was getting one up on me right now.

I doubled over, resting my head on my knees. Oh, please, not that. Please. This was just a fight, we'd calm down and make up and it would be fine. But if he was down in the lobby finding a groupie, I couldn't forgive him for that, and I didn't want to lose him.

This was stupid. He was drunk and I was tired, and I'd been a crappy girlfriend lately.

I couldn't get to my phone fast enough. Please answer, please, please, please…

No answer. Voicemail. I didn't even leave one, clicking off the phone and staring at it.

Okay, just be pouting and not answering. I was about to dial again when it rang, and I picked up. "Bunny?"

"Hi," he said, his voice soft, and it was all I could do to keep from crying.

I said "I'm sorry," instead, and he chuckled.

"That's just what I was calling to say."

"No," I shook my head. "I've been a horrible girlfriend the last few days, and I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you just now."

"I woke you up, buttercup. I know how strung out you've been, and I treated you like crap. I know you aren't… I… I'm sorry."

His voice broke a bit on the last word, and I knew what he was trying to say. "I'm not a whore, Nick."

"I know," he said sadly.

"I'm not Willa."

"I definitely know that." There was either a laugh or a sob in his voice, and I didn't want to figure it out. "I know you're not using me for favors, I had a fight with Brian about that yesterday, I'm sorry I said that."

"Brian thought that about me?" Damnit. I thought it was just Jeremy, I could handle Jeremy. But if his band thought it, too… "We can't sign with The Firm."

"Rache, it's four in the morning. Can we please not talk about your management?"

Fuck, now I was definitely crying.

"Oh, Rache, don't cry, please. We can talk about whatever you want to talk about, I'm sorry." Hell, better to talk about that than the rest of our argument. Fuck, I hated fighting with her. Hated it.

Just about as much as I hated listening to her cry. Listening, feeling completely fucking helpless because I couldn't put my arms around her and tell her it was okay. My heart breaking because it just reminded me of the other night when she shattered when we realized we wouldn't see each other for two weeks. Twelve days now, we made it through two.

Yeah, right. Two days and I'd almost fucked a groupie. What the hell would I be doing next week?

Finally she calmed down, taking a deep breath, but her voice was still shaky when she spoke. "I think, if I could sleep for an entire day, I might stop falling apart on you all the time. I'm a shitty girlfriend, aren't I?"

What? She thought she… She didn't…

Christ, we were a mess.

"Well, I am the world's worst boyfriend, so we're a good pair."

"You are so not the world's worst," she said softly, then giggled a little. "I dated Jeremy for four years. This is a fucking walk in the park."

"I was just thinking about you and walks in the park," I told her. "Our first kiss was on a walk in the park."

"See, that was the most romantic kiss ever, you're a great boyfriend."

I had to laugh. "The most romantic ever, and you still turned me down? You have nerves of steel, woman."

"I wish," she sighed. "I just had this complete panic attack that you'd gone back to find the hot groupie when you didn't answer your phone."

Damnit. I was considering it, fool that I was. "I, uh, lost it."

"The groupie?" she squeaked, and I had to laugh.

"No, the phone. I threw it across the room when you hung up on me."

"Sorry."

"Rache, I fucking deserved it. I was an ass."

"You were," she agreed. "I was a total bitch, but you woke me up. Why were you in such a mood?"

I hesitated for a second, but I didn't really do anything wrong, right? I didn't kiss that girl. Rachel doesn't need to know how tempted I was. "Vinnie and I sorta got into a fight. I guess I took it out on you and I'm sorry."

"Fight about what?"

"Oh… Vinnie and Tony hooked up with these girls, and I was talking to their friend. Just talking. I swear."

"Uh-huh. Right, baby," she said, but I think she was teasing. She trusted me, right?

What would I do if she told me she was flirting with some guy after a show?

Go completely fucking insane.

Okay, can't think about that now, keep talking.

"Then I decided to come up here and talk to you."

"So we could have phone sex and take your mind of this floozy."

"Rachel!" I yelled, but I knew she was mostly teasing.

"What was her name?"

"Ariel."

"Like the Little fucking Mermaid?" she shrieked. "Oh, thank god you didn't fuck the Little goddamn Mermaid, Nick. I wouldn't be able to stand it."

"What, would, like, Cinderella be understandable, but the Little fucking Mermaid is just going too far?" She had me cracking up now.

"Dude, she's a mermaid! That's inter-species, its just sick."

I would never be able to watch the Little Mermaid again. Not like I watched it often, but, hell, I'd have problems going anywhere Disney now. "I was tellin' a story here, Rache."

"Right. Go on," she directed. "Just needed to know her name. Who were her friends? Sebastian and Flounder?"

"How many times have you seen The Little Mermaid?"

"I have nieces!" she protested. "Besides, you got the reference."

"Shut up. Anyhow-"

"You have the beanie babies, don't? Uh-huh, I bet they are the centerpiece of your collection."

"Rachel!" I complained. She was loopy, and I was still half drunk. At least we were in good moods now, and not grumpy.

"Right. Story. You had Ariel, and Vinnie had Sebastian, and Tony had Flounder. Dude, at least you got the cute one."

"Duh. I'm the Backstreet Boy. I always get the cute one!"

"Ah, so that's how it works?" she asked knowingly, and I stopped laughing. It was how it worked. The girls came to us because I was the Backstreet Boy and I got first pick. That was pretty shitty, wasn't it?

"Yeah," he said quietly, not giggling anymore. I liked the giggling!

"What, bunny?" I asked.

"I should maybe care a little more about their personalities, shouldn't I?"

Well, yeah, but hell, I didn't care about personality when I picked up groupies.

"Babydoll, you have me for personality. And hotness, don't forget that, okay?"

That made him laugh again, and I relaxed. "Never, buttercup. That's why I left tonight. And Vinnie followed me into the bathroom and told me I would ruin it for them if I left, because if my girl left, theirs would, too."

"They would have to return to the sea eventually."

Man, I fucking loved his giggle. If I had to pick one thing about him that I loved the most, if someone held a gun to my head and made me pick just one thing, I'd pick his giggle. Closely followed by his tongue, and his eyes, and god damn, that mouth… Wait, yeah, we're talking here.

I so needed to sleep for a week.

"So I told him he was an asshole and he said-" he caught himself. "Well, I left. And then I called you, and I was pissed off, I'm sorry."

"What did Vinnie say?"

"What? I just told you."

"He said something about me, didn't he?" I'd heard that hesitation in his voice. Had to be me.

"He, uh… he doesn't even fucking know you, Rache!" he spit out. "Bastard. I don't even know why I invited him out here."

Geez, what did he say? I probably didn't want to know. "Well, I heard them teasing you earlier today. Your friends don't exactly sound like they understand."

"No. They don't," he agreed.

"I won't tell them that you're a bunny, okay? I'll keep up your tough guy image. Just don't take it out on me any more."

"Promise, buttercup. I love you." He yawned suddenly, and I yawned back.

"Quit it," I tried to tell him, and he laughed.

"You need to sleep, honey. I'm sorry I woke you up and got you all upset."

"I'm sorry I woke up and was such a bitch. We can have that phone sex now, if you want."

He chuckled. "You don't sound very excited by that idea."

I wasn't. I was way too tired, but I might be able to summon the energy. "No, I'm good. Maybe I'll make some coffee…" There was a coffee maker in the room, right?

"No, I'm tired, too, baby. Let's just get some sleep."

"You sure?"

"Yes," he told me with a smile I could feel. "Get some sleep, maybe then you'll stop being such a stark raving bitch every time I talk to you."

"Hey!" I whined, making him giggle.

"Just kidding, Rache. I love you."

"Love you, too. Good night. Morning. Whatever."

Chapter 16:
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