Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 17
By The Paperbag Princess and The Pumpkin Coach

Corresponding Message Board Posts (Fictional!)

"Did you do this?"

Did I do what, Mom? Single-handedly plan a terrorist attack on New York City? I knew she thought I could do anything, but this might be taking it a bit far.

I should try to sleep. I was getting loopy.

"Did I do what?"

Don't say 'hello' or anything, Mom. Shouldn't I be happier to hear from her? Her plane didn't blow up, so I guess she was okay.

"Get us a car, Nicky! It's the last one, and if you hadn't called ahead, we'd be stuck here. Thank you."

Oh. She was happy. Weird. "That was Frank, actually." Hell, I should have taken the credit.

"Well, I'm glad you talked to him. It was a wonderful idea. And Aaron will be here any minute. I just spoke to him. He said you were great."

Was this really my mother? Howie caught me looking at the phone weird, and I mouthed 'Mom' to him, and he laughed.

"Are you at the airport, Mom?"

"Yeah. We were on the runway, third in line to take off, when they told us there was an incident in New York airspace and it would be a few more minutes… we sat there for a while, then they let us off. It wasn't until we got off the plane that we knew what was happening. What about you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. We're in Toronto. Brian and Kevin are still getting here. I imagine they'll get hung up at the border. Leighanne was supposed to be on one of those flights."

"Oh, my god…" Mom whispered. "What happened?"

"They overslept, and she decided to come with Brian to Canada instead."

"Thank god. Here, talk to your father. Something's wrong with the car."

Just like that she was gone, and I could hear her voice. "Bob, who cares if it's a Neon? It's better than walking!"

"Hi, son," Dad said, and I tried not to laugh. This was so my parents' relationship. She just took control of everything.

"Hey, Pops. You gonna survive in a Neon with her and Aaron and Mike, all the way home?"

He laughed. "I've survived this long, Nicky. How are you? Safe? Where's that girl of yours?"

"She's in Chicago. She's…" Her gay best friend's ex-lover was in there, and he's freaking out. "She's from New York… she knows some people in there. She's freaking out a little."

"Well…" Dad said, and I turned around to look at the TV again as things got eerily quiet in the room. "I think things just got worse."

The second tower was falling.

James screamed, and I was next to him without realizing how I got there. Michael's Tower was collapsing, and I had nothing to say. At least two minutes ago we could hope. Lola could hope that her brother was in the one still standing, James could do the same, and so could Darien. What now?

James was shaking, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly. "No, no, no, no," he whispered, over and over again. I rocked him back and forth, looking around the room. Lola had been on her cell, canceling all our interviews, but she just dropped it, one hand over her mouth.

Shit, I'd been on the phone with Mom.

Darien picked up Lola's, and Jeremy got mine, both of them speaking quietly so that I could barely hear what they were saying. But I caught the gist of Jeremy's conversation. "Kate, she's with James now. We're not going anywhere, I don't think, so call back later? Yeah, I'll give him your love."

He hung up and came over to us, leaning over James' back in a hug, kissing my forehead. I shut my eyes, leaning into the two of them.

Not Michael. Not Mari. Not Chris. Please, let them get out of there alive. Not any of the dozens of people we probably knew that worked there. We hadn't been able to think beyond our little circle, but I knew we knew others.

Darien and Lola joined us in our little huddle, and the five of us sat there for what felt like a long time, not talking, not listening to the TV, just praying silently. Finally James spoke. "Let me up."

He was in the middle, so we all shifted, and he stood up, going into his room, slamming the adjourning door behind him. I just watched him, knowing that he probably needed to be alone for a minute.

We still didn't know anything. Michael might be fine. Mari might have worked last night and didn't come in early to go over receipts. Lola's brother might have got canned from his temp job. She always said he was a flake. Maybe everything was fine.

They showed it again, the last couple of hours in three minutes -- planes hitting the Towers, a plane hitting the Pentagon. The Towers toppling, the tallest buildings in the world, reduced to a pile of dust. How many people were in there? How many people were on those planes, and how terrified were they?

What about this plane out in Pennsylvania somewhere? They didn't have any details, but they seemed to think that it was headed for DC and crashed. Had the passengers on that plane overwhelmed the hijackers and decided to sacrifice themselves for the greater good?

I wasn't sure if anything would ever be good again. The symbols of my city were destroyed. New York would never be the same. Those Towers were mine. I could always tell direction by the pull of them, and now they were gone. It couldn't be possible.

The phone rang, and I knew it was Nick. I was so selfish, but I wanted him to be here with me. I wanted to bury my face in his chest and feel his strong arms around me. I wanted to make love to him and feel good for a minute and forget about all this.

Darien got it. "Hey, Nick!" I heard him say, and I suddenly realized I was sitting on the floor, wrapped around Jeremy.

Oh, this might be bad.

We pulled apart, and I jumped up, heading for the phone. "How's your brother?" Darien asked. "And your folks?"

I went into my bedroom, motioning to Darien that I'd pick it up in there. Grabbing the receiver, I yelled for him to hang up and shut the door to the main room. I needed a minute. "Hey, bunny."

She sounded so sad. Before when I talked to her she was just panicked, I guess. Talking to me, her mom, taking care of James… but it was different now. It wasn't exciting anymore, it was real. "Hi, buttercup. I had to call. I know everyone's trying to call this line, so I won't keep you."

"Oh, keep me, honey. Please." There were tears in her voice, then she yelled. "Stop fucking showing it!"

I didn't hear a TV, but there must be one. "Turn it off, Rache. Where are you?"

I heard a TV click off and a bed squeak. "My room. The boys are in the living room. And Lola. Her brother was probably there."

"Probably?" I asked, walking into my room and shutting the door. I needed just her for a minute. Not that I wanted anyone to leave. I liked being panic central. I didn't want to be alone.

"He was a temp, just got a new job there. She doesn't know which Tower."

I fell onto the bed. "They're both gone now. How's James?"

She was quiet for a minute. "Bad. He hasn't said much… screamed when Michael's Tower fell and then he went into his room. I should check on him…"

"Give him a minute." I was being selfish. I just wanted her to myself.

She sighed. "I will. Did you talk to your family yet?"

"They're fine. Mom called when they were picking up the car. I think it's a tiny thing. Cars went quick."

"My mom called. Thanks for telling her how to get me."

I shrugged. "Whatever."

We were quiet for a long moment, then she whispered, "I wish you were here. I'd feel better if you were here."

"Yeah," I agreed. I wanted to touch her, feel her next to me. I was starting to get tired, but I knew I'd never be able to sleep. If she was with me, we could curl up together and forget about everything for a while.

But then we'd have to wake up… she was just telling me the other night about how it hurt to wake up right after her dad died, and I suddenly understood that a little.

"Do you know anything about Danny?"

"No," I admitted. "Chances are good… we know he was leaving Boston for LA around 8:30 or so. But maybe there were more than two flights leaving then?"

"I could get online and figure it out," she offered. She was good with that stuff, plane reservations and driving directions… my girl could find anything online.

But I didn't want to know. I really didn't want to think about Danny, who always had a joke, who could fix anything. He was about to become a father for the second time and now he might never see his new daughter. "I'm sure someone will. I know you've only got the one phone line."

"Two in the room. I mean, one's for data, but we can call out on it. And Lola's cell works. And we've got three other rooms."

I really didn't want her to be this helpful. Usually I loved how Rachel could solve any problem, but not right now.

"Maybe it's better not to know?" she whispered, and I nodded, trying not to cry. I barely knew Danny, really. I worked with him, we traded stupid jokes, and he showed me pictures of his daughter. Not like Lola or Darien or James, who all had people that they loved in there. "Oh, it's James," she said softly, and I heard his voice in the background.

"Is that Nick? I'll go…" he offered, but I knew she was stopping him.

"No. Stay. Nick, I'll call you back. You've got your cell on?"

"Of course." Don't go. Stay on the phone with me all day. If you can't be here, at least I can have your voice in my ear. But I didn't say that. I just stared at a spot on the wall and clenched my jaw.

"I love you. Talk to you soon."

"Love you, buttercup," I managed to say before she hung up. Clicking off the phone, I rolled over, screaming silently into a pillow. I should not be jealous of James. I knew that. He had real tragedy happening. But I wanted him to go away. I knew it was selfish, but I wanted Rachel to be there just for me.

James had definitely been crying. For a gay man, he was not a crier. I'd only seen him cry a few times in my life… when he came out to me, over Michael leaving him, and over my dad. This was not good.

He slumped onto the floor, leaning his back against the bed, and I rolled over, playing with his hair. The blue we'd done a few weeks ago was nearly all washed out. Could we find hair dye today? Were all the stores closed? It felt like the entire world had stopped, but maybe it hadn't. We were quiet for a moment. He just sat there with his eyes closed, leaning into my touch.

"Maybe I should call his mom."

"Yeah," I agreed. "That's a good idea." Michael had a cool mom. She and James still exchanged Christmas cards.

"I think her number is still in my Palm Pilot."

"Have you checked your email?" I offered.

"I doubt he's near a computer, Rache."

"Well… maybe. Couldn't hurt to try. You get email from him, don't you?"

"Yeah… that's a thought. I'll check."

But he didn't move, just sat there next to me.

"I don't know if it's worse to know or not to know," he whispered, reaching up to take my hand.

"You're not freaking out anymore, so that's something…" I smiled over at him, and he nodded against the mattress, his eyes not leaving mine.

"Maybe. Maybe I was just making it up, that I could feel him. Now I can't."

"So maybe he's okay."

"Or maybe he's not." His voice cracked, and he was quiet for a minute. "I know he's not mine anymore. It's not like Lola and her brother… hell, Darien was just with Mari a couple of days ago. But… I like knowing that he's there. I like knowing that he exists."

"I know, baby. I do." I leaned over, draping my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.

"I love you, Rachel."

"I love you, too, James. I'm glad you're here." I couldn't imagine being alone for this.

"Keep telling me it's okay," he begged, and I hugged him tighter.

"It's okay."

That was a lie, and we both knew it.

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