Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 17
By The Paperbag Princess and The Pumpkin Coach

Corresponding Message Board Posts (Fictional!)

"The bastard has a boyfriend!"

Jeremy was on the computer we'd set up in a corner of the room, and we all turned to look at him. We'd hooked it up to get more information about… anything, but the news sites were all jammed up and none of us had any worthwhile email.

"Who?" I asked.

"Michael. His boyfriend just sent out an email to tell everyone he's fine."

James literally collapsed, falling back on the floor and covering his face with his hands. He didn't say anything, but I could feel the relief in every line of his body.

"His boyfriend?" Darien whined. "Asshole."

"The man is safe!" Lola yelled. "Why do we hate his boyfriend?"

"Because this was supposed to bring him and James together!" Darien explained, and I giggled. My thoughts exactly.

"I don't want him back," James informed us, his voice muffled through his hands. "I just want him to be alive. Read it to me."

Jeremy complied, "Michael just called me to say that he's safe and on his way home. He asked me to send this message to everyone in his address book, and that he'll tell us all about it later. He told me it was horrible, too horrible to talk about on the phone."

"I knew it," James whispered.

"I'm not sure how he'll get home. The city has shut down. If you get this, and can respond, I know it would mean the world to him to know that everyone is doing well. All our love to all of you. And its signed 'Simon'."

"Simon?" Darien questioned. "That's a gay name."

"Duh," Jeremy replied. "Did you not notice that Michael is gay?"

"Does that mean that James is gay?" Darien joked. "I just thought he liked really ugly women."

James rolled over, smiling at me as Darien and Jeremy continued to insult his sexuality. At least that was a bit of normalcy in this terrible day. "You feel better, sweetie?" I asked him, and he nodded.

"At least that's one person accounted for." In the last hour, we'd made a list. Between the five of us, we had 37 names on it. It was still way too long, but I could breathe a little better now.

Then Lola's cell rang, and we were all quiet, staring at it. She picked it up, checking the caller ID and answering it. "Mom?… He was where?" she yelled, and I couldn't tell if she was relieved or horrified.

Then she laughed, and we all sighed in unison. "Only Christopher could be alone on a fucking elevator during something like this. Is he okay?"

Jeremy caught my eye and we gave each other mystified looks as Lola listened to her mother. After a moment, she clicked off, looking around at us. "My stupid brother was trapped on an elevator. He had no idea what was happening until he got off. A firefighter got him out, and he's walking home now."

"He's not hurt?" I asked her, and she smiled.

"Of course not. He has nine fucking lives, the flake. He's supposed to call me, if he can get his phone to work." She glared at her phone, willing it to ring.

"His phone works?" Darien wondered.

"Jersey exchange."

"Damnit," Darien muttered, looking at our phone. "What about land lines? Think maybe her land line will work?"

"Mari?" I questioned. "Does she have a real phone?" Did anyone anymore? Or was that just me who lived on her cell?

"I think… yeah, she plugs her computer into something. I've picked up a phone at her place to order pizza."

"Do you know the number?"

He leapt off the sofa, hovering behind Jeremy, but Jeremy already had a search up. "Man, how many M. Thompson's are there in New York? It's Thompson, right?"

Darien nodded, "Probably a million. But I know the address, keep looking. Try M.S., it's Mari Susan." It took them a minute, but they found it, and I could see Darien's hands shaking as he dialed her number. "Five rings?" he asked the room collectively. "Maybe it's broken. Shouldn't her machine have picked up by now?"

"Does she have one? Does she use this number at all?" I asked him, but he just shrugged. Mari always had her cell with her. He'd been trying to call it but got nothing. Probably the same problem that was affecting all our phones.

"Mari!" he yelled, and I sagged against James, relieved. "No, I… there's… you were asleep?" His voice broke, and he fell onto the couch.

Fuck. He had to tell her. Was it possible that some people in New York didn't know?

I could hear her yelling at him, something about "I worked until 5 in the fucking morning, you fuck, this had better be good!"

"Um… well, the good news is you won't have to go to work tonight," he joked, knowing it was lame. "Turn on your TV, Mari," he finished quietly. "Any station. Believe me."

We were all quiet, watching him, and he covered his eyes with his hand. "I'm sorry, baby. I was fucking worried… I know you go into work early sometimes… I'm in Chicago, we're all here, we're fine." He looked up, smiling at James. "Michael is fine, we just found that out. That was a little nerve-wracking. You want me to stay on the phone, or do you wanna start calling people?"

Guess she wanted him. He got up, heading for my bedroom, and Jeremy went with him, transferring phones.

"AJ, who's in Oasis?"

"What? I don't know. Why do you care? Who are you calling? Leave me alone." He glared at me and pulled Sarah closer, looking back at the TV.

I glared back at him, clicking my cell phone off. He had Sarah right here. I had to fucking figure out my girlfriend's secret code to talk to her. Patsy Kensit's room was busy, and Liam Gallagher wasn't answering. They were probably all in Rachel's room, using the fucking line, so that I couldn't get through to her. "Are the Gallaghers Blur or Oasis?" I asked the room in general, and Frank was nice enough to answer me.

"Liam and Noel Gallagher. Want the rest of them?"

I just nodded, finding out a pen and taking notes. Rachel told me they were staying as Oasis. I'd have to find one of them, right? And they could tell me where Rachel was and why she wasn't answering the phone. How soon would they be able to fix her cell phone?

"Tony McCarroll, Paul McGuigan, Paul Arthurs. Or you could try Guigsy or Bonehead. They kicked Tony out and replaced him with Alan White. Then we lost Guigs and Bonehead, and got Gem and Andy Bell. I lost track after that."

"What's Gem's last name?" And how the hell did Frank know so much about Oasis? Oh right… they were Blur's arch enemies, Rachel had said. Frank was with them before us.

"He doesn't have one. Go with Andy Bell first… I bet Jeremy picked him. He's got indie cred."

He did. At least there was an Andy Bell at Rachel's hotel, not answering his phone. And Liam and Noel Gallagher, same story. Fuck. I tossed my phone on the desk and glared at it, willing it to ring. It had been more than an hour since I talked to Rachel. Shouldn't she be trying to call me?

Alright, there were probably five people in her room, and just two lines, or three, or whatever she told me last time we talked… but fuck them, the guys could go to their own rooms if they needed to talk to people. Didn't Rachel tell me that Lola's cell worked? I scrolled through my saved numbers… yeah, I had Lola's number.

No, her brother was in there somewhere. I couldn't do that. She needed her phone. And Darien needed to find his girl, and James was probably calling everyone he knew to find out about Michael… I just wanted to hear Rachel's voice and listen to her breathe for a little bit. That was way down low on the importance scale.

"I'm gonna get a soda," I informed the room, standing up. "Anyone want anything?"

No. What did they need? AJ had Sarah, and Howie had Lee, hell, even Frank was on the phone with his boyfriend. Damn couples. I'd feel better if Rachel was with me.

There was no sign for vending machines on my floor. I don't know why that surprised me. We didn't usually have vending machines on the good floor. I could have called down to the desk, and they would have brought me a case of soda in thirty seconds. But I wanted to get out of that room, away from the TV and all the happy couples.

The dancers and crew were on the floor below us, right? As soon as I got off the elevator, I knew I'd found the place. The dancers were everywhere, talking on cell phones and yelling down the hallway to each other. I was attacked with hugs as soon as I stepped onto the floor, and I forgot to feel sorry for myself for a little bit. They all had friends and family in New York, and I got all the updates. I told the story of where Brian and Kevin were about a million times as I walked through the hall. But I didn't see anyone from the crew, and I didn't ask. They were all waiting for news on Danny, I just knew it. I didn't want to know.

"She's okay!" Jana burst out of a room and right into me.

Laughing, I caught her. "Who's okay?"

"Leslie! My roommate! She works in the Towers, and her mom just called me. She's fine." Jana was so cute. She looked all happy and excited as all her friends congratulated her. I slipped away to the vending machines while they talked, digging in my pocket for money.

Fuck. We were in Canada. Damnit. I didn't even think about getting my per diem today, idiot. All I wanted was a fucking Pepsi…

Rachel told me that was from a song. Her whole band loved to whine that line, "All I wanted was a fucking Pepsi!" I'd never heard the damn song, but now I said it all the time, and I preferred Coke.

That was a Duran joke, too. Something about Coke sponsoring their tour and Nick said something about Pepsi… or was it John? I really needed to start paying attention to the Sudden Silence in-jokes.

"You look lost, blondie," Jana said, coming up next to me. I put my free arm around her and offered her the money I'd pulled out of my pocket.

"Do you have any Canadian money?"

She giggled, wrapping her arm around my waist and leading me back towards her room. "You pop stars are pathetic."

"Hey, all bets are sorta off today. Normally I would get my per diem first thing."

"Alright," she relented. "I'll give you a pass for today. But tomorrow I expect to be paid back!"

She ducked away from my embrace when we got into her room, finding some money on the top of the dresser. I liked her in my arms. She was Kevin's, I guess, but that didn't mean I couldn't touch her, right?

Was she Kevin's? No one ever told me anything. "Talk to Kevin?" I asked her, and she didn't look at me, pretending great interest in counting out her change.

"Yeah," she admitted. "Just now. They're stuck at the border."

"I know."

She handed me some change, her good mood gone, and I hugged her.

"It's okay, Jana. I mean… whatever you're doing with Kevin. I won't tell."

"Everyone knows, don't they?" she asked quietly.

"I dunno. No one ever tells me anything," I admitted, making her laugh. "I know Kevin, and I certainly know better than to ever offer him advice."

She pulled away from me, sitting on the bed. "What if he asked for advice?"

"You mean, asked me for advice?" She nodded, and I laughed so hard I had to sit down next to her. "Kevin? Ask me for advice? Never in a million years, sweetheart. Never."

Pouting, she whacked me. "Stop it. Okay, maybe he'd never ask. But what would you want to say to him?"

"Um…." Fuck. I am so screwed. This is my fault, I never should have started this conversation! "I… I don't know, Jana. Really. I have enough trouble with the fact that my girlfriend is in a band with her ex. Don't ask me what I think."

"Oh, how is Rachel? They're from the city, they must know a million people there."

"Yeah… James… you know James?" She nodded. Right, she'd told me she used to go to Sudden Silence shows when they still played bars. "His ex works there."

"So does Leslie… so did Leslie, I guess. And she's fine. I bet the boyfriend is fine, too." Talking about Rachel and her friends was much easier than Kevin's love life.

"We need food," Jeremy said, sitting next to me on the couch.

"What?" I asked. Food? We needed… oh, my god, I was starving. What time was it? How long had we been sitting here watching the horror?

"Food. Sustenance. Nourishment. Everyone will feel better if we eat."

"Okay," I agreed. "You're right. Should we call room service?"

"I bet the entire hotel is calling room service. Let's take a walk. We'll get sandwiches or something."

Suddenly I could not sit in this room for one more second. James was writing email to Michael, Darien was still on the phone with Mari, and Lola was waiting for her brother to call. So Jeremy took orders while I threw on some jeans, and five minutes later, we were out the door. Just us.

I couldn't remember the last time Jeremy and I had been alone when it hadn't involve an argument in some way. But this was a weird day, and I snuggled against him when he threw an arm around my shoulders, pulling me up against his side.

We were quiet, navigating the elevator and the lobby, lost in our own thoughts. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, and I attempted to concentrate on that, rather than what was happening in New York and DC.

It looked like a nice day out there, too. All the pictures showed clouds of smoke outlined by a bright blue sky. That was wrong. Shouldn't it be raining or something? Shouldn't the sky know what was going on down here?

"You're good in a crisis," I said, the words surprising me as they left my mouth.

I think they surprised Jeremy a little, too. "What?"

"You're very calm."

He shrugged. "Freaking out doesn't help anyone."

I had to laugh. "Okay, why don't you remember that when soundcheck doesn't go well?"

"Because that's not a real crisis. I just act like it is."

We shared a grin, stopping for a light. There weren't many cars on the street. We probably could have crossed. Was everyone home with their families?

"Freak," I informed him, and he nodded.

"I know. Blame my family, you know how they are." I did. They were about as dysfunctional as it got. Jeremy was the oldest of a collection of half and step siblings, it took me years to get them all straight. His mother was currently on husband number five. "The only way to get heard was to yell. But when things went really wrong, when one of the husbands was acting up, well… someone had to take care of things. And god knows it wasn't my mom."

I hugged him. I'd tried for a long time to save him from his past, but I couldn't do it. Now it was just a part of him, his tantrums and freak-outs, and I couldn't think too hard about where those things came from.

"Well, I'm glad you're here," I admitted. "Somebody needs to be sane up there."

"Life is going to go on. Somehow. We'll get some food, and then we might need to talk about work." I wrinkled my nose at him, making him laugh. "Well, eventually. Come on, let's find sustenance."

We lucked out with a deli and spent everyone's per diems on a load of junk food. Comfort food. Our steps slowed as we approached the hotel, because we both knew the TV would be on and we'd have to see it again. It was fun, pretending to be normal for few minutes.

There was a crowd in the lobby, and I didn't think anything about it until I overheard the desk clerk telling a customer that the hotel was completely booked. "J!" I said, grabbing his arm before he could get on the elevator. "Flights are grounded."

"Yeah, and?" he inquired.

"So, we're taking up four rooms, and these poor people are stranded. What if we keep the suite, and bunk up tonight? Like old times," I joked.

"The suite is still way better than the four of us in one room, diva princess. Are you sure you can share that big bed with me?"

"Who said I was sharing with you? I get James!"

"Hello!" Was that James? He sounded positively… cheerful.

"James?" I asked. Maybe it was Darien.

"Nicky! Your girlfriend went on a food mission."

Damnit. I finally get through, and she's not even there? I wanted her to be sitting next to the phone, waiting for me to call. I wanted to know if Michael was okay.

He must be, given James' tone. Or maybe he was just in shock. Should I ask? Rachel would have called me when they found out, right?

"You let her out of your sight?" I tried, and he laughed.

"Hmm, she told you that I went psycho, huh? Michael's okay, Nick. His boyfriend sent out an email to everyone he knows. He was there, and it was bad, I guess, but he's alive."

When did this happen? Rachel didn't call to tell me? Okay, I was talking to Jana for a while, but still. I'd checked my voicemail when I got back, but there was just something from Aaron, complaining that the car was tiny and it was going to take forever to get home. "Oh, good. Great. I'm really happy for you, James. He's got a boyfriend?"

James cracked up. "Why does everyone want me to get back together with him? I'm fine. I just wanted to know he was okay. Now, Darien and Mari, I dunno…" he mused.

"Darien? You're joking!" Darien flirted with everyone. He always had a new girl backstage or kissing him good-bye in the morning. Darien settle with just one girl?

"He was terribly worried about her. And they were on the phone for a while when he finally got through to her. Dunno… don't they say that true feelings come out in a crisis? Even Jeremy is being good today."

"Now that's just freakish, James."

"He and Rachel are out now getting food for all of us. He's been keeping everyone calm and giving hugs and answering phones."

Jeremy and Rachel were out? Alone together? That never happened. "Just him and Rachel?"

"Weird, isn't it? Hopefully there won't be bloodshed."

So James found Michael, and Darien talked to Mari… who else was there? "What about Lola's brother?"

"Fine. Trapped in an elevator. He didn't even know what was happening. We've heard about a few others on our list, but not all of them…" We both knew what that meant, but we didn't want to say it. Good news probably traveled faster, didn't it? "What about Danny?"

"Dunno." I didn't want to know, so I hadn't asked. Someone would tell me when there was news.

"Hey, there they are! Food patrol!" James cried, and I sighed to myself. Rachel. I really needed to talk to her. I didn't have much to say, I just wanted to hear her voice. "Your boy is on the phone."

"Bunny!" she squealed, and I smiled.

"Hey, buttercup."

I barely got it out before she interrupted me. "Hey, sweetie, the boys are moving into the suite, so I'm gonna go help them pack up, okay?"

"What?" No, that was not okay. Jeremy was moving into her room? I didn't like that at all. Why did she have to help them, anyway?

"Flights are grounded, so hotel rooms are a hot commodity. I want to help them get in here quick, so some poor souls can have a place to sleep soon."

"It's the middle of the afternoon." Okay, that sounded annoyed, even to me.

"Whatever. Relax, then. I'll call you back in like, an hour, okay?"

"Whatever," he snapped, and I blinked at the phone for a minute.

"What?"

"Nothing. I've just been trying to get you on the phone for hours, and now that I've got you, you're leaving. So that the boys can stay in your room and tie up the phone lines even more!"

"Stop it. You're acting like a baby."

"Sorry I don't have a real crisis. Just a crew member missing and half my band stuck at the border, no big deal. Go soothe James some more, even though Michael's fine," he grumbled.

"Nick. That's not it." I moved over, shutting the bedroom door and leaning against it. My entire band didn't need to hear me have a stupid argument with Nick. "Stop acting like a spoiled child."

"Hey, that's an improvement from being a baby, isn't it?"

I bit my tongue. I would not yell at him. We were both tired and overwrought and probably hungry. Someone had to be the grown-up here. "I'm sorry, but there are some things I need to do right now. I'm going to go and do them, and eat some lunch, and then I'll call you back."

Silence.

"Okay, Nick?"

He mumbled something in response.

"Did you eat anything today?"

"I just had a soda, and shared some M&M's with Jana. Or whatever they call them here. Smarties."

"Get some lunch, Nicky. Maybe then you'll be rational."

"Whatever."

"I'm going now, bunny. I love you," I added, and I waited before hanging up.

"Love you, too," he grumbled, and clicked off.

Great. Just what I need, a petulant boyfriend.

"How is she doing?" Howie looked up as I came back into the room and plugged my phone in. The battery was nearly shot. Not that it mattered. I'd never get Rachel on the phone again. She was too busy helping out everyone else in the world. What did I matter?

I shrugged and sat down on the couch next to him, "She's fine. All her big worries are okay… James' ex and Lola's brother and Darien's girl." They found everyone, and she still didn't have time to talk to me.

"Great. Thank god. Man," Howie sighed, looking at the television again as they flashed footage of people digging through rubble at the scene. "Do you think they'll actually find anyone? I mean, that's a lot of stuff to sift through."

"It's early. Yeah." They have to, right? Everyone in those Towers can't be dead, can they? Disasters were never as bad as you thought. Thank god they found Michael. I didn't even know him but somehow I knew if he'd been gone, it would be weeks before I'd get my Rachel back.

Damn, Nick can you be more fuckin' selfish? I was a complete brat. Rachel was right… what had she called me when we were fighting just now? A spoiled child? Yeah. A baby? She'd used that one, too. And it fit. Here I was worried about when she'd pay attention to me.

I sighed and sat up, turning off the television, "I can't watch it anymore, Howie. Wanna go for a walk or something? Where'd AJ go?" Frank had left a while ago, and Lee wanted to talk to her family, but AJ and Sarah had still been here before I called Rachel.

"They went to their room. I think they wanted time alone. You know, a couple thing." I rolled my eyes, making Howie laugh. "Oh, come on, dawg… you know you'd be the same if she was here."

"But she's not, and I'm going to go insane if we keep staring at the television."

Howie stood, stretching his arms above his head, "Shall we grab Frank or Joe?"

"Who's Joe?"

He laughed at me, "My new guy, Nick. He's been with us for a couple of weeks now."

Oh. I guess I'd been focused on other things. Rachel. What else had I missed since the tour started back up because I was too busy with Rachel? I just smiled at Howie and went across the hall, knocking on Frank's door.

He answered quickly, a phone up to his ear. "Hold on just a sec, Chris. Yeah, Nick?"

"Howie and I are going for a walk. Get something to eat… want anything?"

"You're what?" He looked at his phone and turned away from me briefly, mumbling something, and then hung up. "Let me grab my wallet."

"You don't have to…" I started, but he just shot me that look that I knew meant there was no arguing. No way was I walking out of this hotel without an escort. I mean, I normally couldn't do that easily, but especially not today. As if the freakin' terrorists gave a damn about a couple of Backstreet Boys.

"How's Rachel holding up?" Frank asked as we waited for the elevator.

I shrugged, "Fine. They found the people they were most worried about."

"Good," Frank sighed as we rode down on the elevator.

"Yeah. Anyone talk to Kev or Bri lately?" I asked, not wanting to talk about how many people Rachel was still worrying about. There wasn't anything I could do for her. This was 10 times worse than a Dad mood. And those made me feel so powerless. All I could ever do was hold her and let her talk… now she wasn't with me and I couldn't even get her on the phone. No wonder I felt so weird.

"Still stuck at the border, I think," Frank answered. "So where are we going, guys?"

I shrugged. I just wanted to be away from the television for a few minutes. Howie led us down the street. Right, he'd spent a lot of time in Toronto. "There's a mall a block down. Let's grab sandwiches there for everyone."

Howie was always thinking of the others, wasn't he? Even in crisis. It was funny, we all had our roles to play, just like a real family. It was weird without Kevin here. He was the one who'd take control, tell us all what to do and make sure we were thinking through everything. Without him, we were all a little lost. Not that there was much to do. The Firm kept calling Howie, I think, wanting to know when we were all in so we could conference and talk about the shows. What was there to talk about? Even I knew there was no way we could cancel any more shows.

"So Howie, what do you think we should do?" I asked as we took our pizza to one of the small tables in the food court. No one even noticed us here, and it was kinda nice, just sitting down in the middle of the mall, like when we were younger and just starting out. I expected to see AJ's mom come around the corner, telling us to sit up straight and not to be so loud.

"Dunno, Nicky. We can't afford to cancel more dates, can we?"

I shook my head, "No. But does that look bad? I mean, we were just attacked and now we're gonna get on stage and sing? Like nothing happened?"

"Life has to go on," Frank spoke up, making both of us blink at him, "What? I don't just sit there and turn my brain off, guys. I know what happens in your band meetings and all. I just think maybe people need something to take their minds off what's happening, you know?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "If I could work now, then maybe I'd quit obsessing about what was happening."

"What's to obsess over, Nick? There's nothing you can do," Howie interjected.

"Yeah. But what if that's not the end? I mean, there were at least two more planes. What if there's more planned? Like tomorrow it's trains. And then it's busses. What if that's not the end?"

Everyone was silent for a moment. Howie just looked at me, "When did you grow up, dawg?"

That made me smile, "I'm not completely stupid, Howie. I think about these things. I mean, Aaron and Mom and Pops are all driving to Florida. What if a bridge blows up?"

"Man, you are seriously morbid. We need something stronger than Coca-Cola in your system!"

"Yeah, shrug it off… but I can't help but think."

"They're fine, Nick," Frank's voice was assertive, and that was kind of comforting. He'd been that way this morning, too. Telling me that Aaron was going to be okay and that he should go find Mom and Dad at the airport. I was much better when people just told me what to do, wasn't I? "They're going to get to Florida just fine, and everything will go on. You'll see. I bet in a few hours, the President or someone will come on, and they'll know who's behind this, and we'll all feel safe again."

I didn't know if Frank was just indulging in wishful thinking or not. He'd been in the Army, after all. He knew about government stuff.

I hoped.

We finished our pizza and got sandwiches to take back to the hotel for the others. On our way out, I stopped by the drugstore to get candy and junk food, and Howie slapped my arm as we were at the cash register.

"Hey, Nicky, is that Rachel?"

"What?" My head snapped up, and I looked past Howie. Rachel? Here? No fuckin' way… she was in Chicago. I just talked to her…

But Howie was laughing, "No, Nicky… in that magazine… isn't that her?"

I peered over Howie's shoulder. One of the girls behind the counter was flipping through a magazine, and I stopped her.

"Hey, can you go back?" She looked up at me, annoyed, but I just smiled, "Sorry. I just… my friend thinks he saw someone we know." Her eyes got wide as she looked at Howie and then back at me.

"You're… you're…" She was speechless. Instinctively, I reached my hand out, and Frank gave me a pen.

"Hi," I held out my other hand for her, "I'm Nick Carter. And this is Howie and Frank. Can I just see that magazine for a minute?"

She nodded, still not able to speak, but now she was staring at Howie. Is it possible that she was a Howie fan? I guess. I mean, anything's possible. I flipped back a few pages, and sure enough, there was Rachel. It was a great performance shot. I leaned closer and studied the picture. When was this? Flipping the magazine over, I nearly screamed. This was her Rolling Stone! Did she even know it was out yet? Last I heard they were fighting about the article.

The girl was finally speaking to Howie, but I had to interrupt, "Sorry, where is this?"

"In your hand, dude," Howie laughed, and the girl just stared at him, her mouth open slightly. Oh, she was cute, even.

"No shit! I mean, is this on the shelf somewhere?"

"Huh? Oh. No, don't think so. This is mine from home. I subscribe, and I usually get it a few days before we get the shipment."

"Can I have it?" She blinked at me. "I mean, I'll buy it from you. Give me another magazine, and I'll sign it for you, Howie will, too. Want to come to our show tomorrow night?"

She laughed at me, and Howie put a hand on my shoulder, "You'll have to excuse Nicky here. It's like he's never seen a picture of his girlfriend before."

"Rachel's in there? Cool! I didn't know they were big enough for Rolling Stone." Now both Howie and Frank were laughing, and I just ignored them.

"You know about Rachel?"

"Sure, doesn't everyone? They're always talking about her on the boards. Whether you've broken up yet. If she's after you for the publicity."

"Really?"

"Oh… shit. I mean, no. You have a girlfriend?" she said, trying to pretend she was innocent.

Now we were all laughing, and I squinted at the girl's name badge, "Max, is it?" She nodded and stole a quick glance at Howie. "It's okay. I know the girls like to talk about us. Do they really think I'd be so shallow as to date a girl that was just after my connections?"

As soon as I said it, I wished I'd learned to keep my big mouth shut. Howie was cackling beside me. Seriously. I thought he might hyperventilate. "One word, little man… Mand…"

I slapped a hand over his mouth before he could get the last syllable out, "Okay, stop. I just mean… do they think that about Rachel? Damn, nothing's further from the truth!"

"Well, I don't think that," Max quickly backtracked. "I even bought their CD. It's really good. If they ever play Toronto, I'd love to see them!"

Were they not playing Toronto? That was weird. I'd have to look up their schedule when I got back to the room. "I'll make that suggestion for you, Max. Now, about this magazine…"

"Oh! Sure! Yeah. You can have it."

"I was serious about the show. Write your name down and give it to Frank here. We'll make sure you get VIP treatment tomorrow night. You are coming, aren't you?"

"All three nights! Even got my supervisor to cover for me tomorrow night, I'm supposed to be working."

"Cool. Now Howie, give the pretty girl a kiss and we'll get back before our food here gets cold."

Howie smiled and leaned over, kissing her softly on the cheek. To our collective surprise, she didn't scream or even squeal.

If he was going to be a butthead like he was earlier, I didn't want to talk to him. The last thing I needed was Nick acting like a spoiled brat.

But, then again, he was pouting because I couldn't talk to him. It was sorta nice to feel so loved.

But I already had James attached to my side, wasn't that enough? James and I could be pretty co-dependent.

Sighing, I dialed Nick's number. I'd promised I'd call him back. I didn't want to get into an argument that I broke my word. If he was being pouty still, I'd yell at him.

I wanted him here with me. I wanted to curl up into him and watch the TV. Part of me couldn't stop watching, and the other part couldn't stand it.

Maybe I needed a nap. I'd slept badly last night, and all this… I was exhausted. No wonder I was ready to yell at anyone, including my wonderful boyfriend. He'd been good all day. I'd probably be pouting if I'd been trying to call him and then he couldn't talk.

"Rache!" He sounded happy.

"Hi, Nick."

"Guess what I'm doing?"

How in the world could he be doing something cheerful? Was there anything cheerful left in the world? "Dunno, sweetie."

"Reading about you in Rolling Stone."

"What?" We were… that's right. Felt like a million years ago. But my band was in Rolling Stone this week, how fucking cool was that? "How did you get that?"

"Howie and Frank and I went to the mall, and the girl in the drugstore was reading it, but it wasn't even for sale, it was her subscription copy. She gave it to me in exchange for passes to tomorrow's show."

"Isn't it out tomorrow? What is tomorrow?"

"The 12th. Wednesday. I think Rolling Stone comes out on Thursdays? Dunno."

"You couldn't wait two days, bunny?" I loved him when he rambled on. Especially when it was about me.

"You should see this picture, babe. You're hot."

He was so good at making me smile.

"Besides," he went on, a teasing note in his voice. "At least she gave it to me, unlike some people who were supposed to fax me a copy…"

Shit. I'd had the article for days, and I'd promised him a copy, but I kept forgetting. "Sorry, Nicky."

"It's okay, I've got it now. And I'm sorry for earlier. Really. You were right, I was strung out and hungry. You were just being a good person, and I was trying to make you feel guilty or something."

"It's okay." Sorta. Yeah. Bad day, I had to stop dwelling on it. I'd kept replaying our last conversation in my head when I was helping the guys move, coming up with better comebacks to his whining.

"I can be spoiled. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you're good at that," I teased, making him laugh. God, I loved that laugh. My heart felt lighter just hearing it.

There were a lot of people that were never going to get to hear their boyfriend's laugh again. I was pretty fucking lucky, really. I should count my blessings and all that. Even when he was being a spoiled brat, at least my boy was alive and well, even if he was stealing magazines from nice girls in Canada.

"Rache," James said, sticking his head in the room. "Sorry, we need you."

Nick and I sighed in unison, and I had to smile. "What? I just got Nick on the phone."

"I know," James pleaded, looking contrite. "But Lola's got Amber on the phone and … you gotta hear this."

"What?" I asked, worried. Was someone hurt, dead, what?

James saw my panic and shook his head. "No. Everyone's fine at EMI. Maybe too fine… they're already planning benefit concerts and want us there."

I could only blink at him for a second. There? New York? I couldn't… no. Fuck. "Nicky?"

"I know, buttercup. You gotta go. Love you."

"Love you, too, bunny."

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