Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 18

By
The Paperbag Princess & The Pumpkin Coach

Rachel sighed quietly and I leaned over to see her. Good, I didn't wake her. She snuggled up under the covers more and I smiled at the content look on her face. This was going to be okay, right? So she'd kissed Jeremy. Like she said, the whole world had been falling apart, it was only natural that she'd turned to him.

I fought the jealousy rising in my chest. I hated that he'd gotten to be there with her. Hell, I was even jealous of James and I knew there was no competition there.

Who was I kidding? There was no competition there because James won. Hands down. I hoped he was sleeping in the next room. Rachel had told me that he hadn't slept well since it happened. Even though he knew Michael was safe, it was still too horrifying a concept to think about. Being broken up with someone was one thing, but knowing they were gone and you'd never see them again… Damn. I couldn't even contemplate it.

I'd dreamed of just about everyone I cared about falling in the last couple days. In my dreams, I didn't see the Towers specifically or even buildings. Mom and Dad had fallen from the bridge that was near our first house in Tampa. And Aaron had fallen out of a tree and screamed so loudly in my head that it woke me up with a start. I had to call him after that one. Got his voicemail, of course, and just left him a quick message. In the past week, you couldn't talk to anyone without reminding them that you loved them. In some warped way, it was sort of a good thing.

But then there was Rachel… even thinking about it now made me shiver. We were on a plane. Not just any plane, no, that'd be too easy. No, this was "our" plane, the one we'd taken to the Point when I'd surprised her a few weeks ago. As if I wasn't scared enough to fly, right? We were kissing and holding one another, and then suddenly there was a loud noise and she was falling away from me through the clouds. I could see the panic on her face, and I tried to scream, but I couldn't. Instead, I just held onto the seat next to me and watched her. I just watched her fall.

My whole body shivered even though it wasn't cold in the room. I reached down, running my fingers through her dark hair and her eyes fluttered open briefly.

"Shhh… go back to sleep, buttercup," I whispered as I leaned down and kissed her eyelids closed.

God, I loved the feel of him in my bed like this. Even sleeping, I could feel his eyes on me. I knew he wasn't sleeping. If I hadn't driven all damned day, I'd be awake too. But I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

I felt a yawn rising in my chest, and I looked up at him, running my hand up his arm and pulling on his shoulder so he'd lie back down next to me, "Hold me, bunny?"

He followed my lead, stretching out next to me and pulling me back against his body. We fit together so well, his long leg covering my short ones and his arm encircling my waist. His hand rested lightly on my stomach, keeping me still against him. I felt his body relax some, and I seemed to melt back into him.

"I love you so much."

His voice was a whisper again, and I had to smile, summoning the strength to nod. "I'm so glad you are back in my bed, bunny. I missed you so much."

He leaned down, kissing the back of my neck and I felt myself drifting off again, "Sweet dreams, baby."

She was gone again, and that was okay. I didn't really even want to talk or make love to her. I just wanted to feel her against me. And I guess now she needed me just a little bit. Me, not Jeremy. I felt the anger rising in my chest again as I thought about them together. I hated that he got to see her every day, but worse than that, that he knew her so well. He seemed to always be able to know what she needed or what kind of mood she was in.

Rachel was all I needed, at least that's how I felt this week. That girl the other night… that'd been nothing. Just sex and comfort. No, after the heartache of the last couple days, I'd wanted Rachel back with me. I didn't care how. I'd even thought about telling the fellas that I needed to go see her, but I'd known that wouldn't go over well. I was too young to feel this way, right? I might say I was in love, but what did little Nicky know about love?

But it had to be love, didn't it? My every other thought was about her. Not just sex thoughts, but real thoughts. I always wondered where she was, what she was doing at that very moment. Was she smiling? Was she laughing with James and fooling around with Darien's drum kit? Were she and Jeremy writing another fabulous song? Would she ever write one about me?

My notebook was full of things about her. Lyrics and drawings, and just stuff I'd doodled when all the thoughts in my brain got to be too much and I had to download some of them to make room for the new ones.

I heard a melody in my head and started to hum softly, my lips still pressed against her neck. She squirmed a little, and I smiled, kissing her neck again gently to calm her. Lying on my back, she followed me, turning over and snuggling against my side, resting her head on my chest. I liked her this way, too. I could see her face and play with her hair while she breathed against me.

I heard the melody again and hummed it quietly, adding a few lyrics along the way…

Who needs the world when I've got you?
Switched off the sun, the stars and the moon
I've got all I need inside of this room
who needs the world when I've got you?

I hoped I remembered that one in the morning. I liked that. It was pretty… Rachel's song.

Who was singing? I squinted against the soft light filtering in through the window and looked up to find Nick sitting in the chair across from the bed holding my guitar and strumming it quietly. When did he get up? He didn't notice me, but concentrated hard on his fingers. He bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes as he strummed the strings again. That was nice. I liked waking up to him.

Had he slept at all? His hair was a mess like it always was in the morning, and he was wearing those velvety pajama bottoms that I loved. He was humming now and I closed my eyes. If he saw me watching and listening to him, he'd stop, I knew that. For all his cockiness, he was still pretty shy about his songs. He'd never really let me hear anything he'd done on his own. I knew he'd written one when we were at the Point - before we were together - but he'd never let me see it.

I tried not to move as he started to sing.

Switch off the sun, the stars and the moon
I've got all that I need inside of this room

There was a pause, and I peeked out at him as he repositioned his fingers. He wasn't very good at that particular progression. We'd worked on it once… when we'd had time to just be together while he was with me on tour. Before it was stolen moments and not enough time to feel quite right in each other's arms.

Who needs the world when I've got you?

My breath caught in my throat. Did I hear that right? I looked up as he sang the last line, his eyes meeting mine and I saw... What did I see? Pain? Love? Sadness? Loneliness?

All of it. Every emotion I'd been feeling over the past few days. He smiled at me shyly and started to put down the guitar.

"Don't," I found my voice finally, "Please? That's beautiful, bunny. Play more for me?"

He looked down at his hands and shook his head, "It's silly, Rache."

"Didn't sound silly to me. Come on, Nick. I let you hear my songs before they're really songs…"

He looked up at me, meeting my gaze again as he licked his lips slowly. For once he wasn't teasing me with that tongue, but he was genuinely considering what he should do.

"Please?" I half-whined at him and he smiled.

"You're not allowed to laugh," he warned, his eyes narrowing.

I rolled onto my back, the covers falling away as I crossed my heart. He groaned loudly, "Damn, Rache… I'm supposed to concentrate on anything with you lying there half naked and shit?"

He cracked me up, and I just laughed at him, pulling the sheet up to my neck and grinning over at him. I'd stolen his t-shirt and boxers last night after my shower… where did the t-shirt go? Had he ravished me in the middle of the night and I missed it? Damn! "Continue, then."

He took a deep breath and started strumming the guitar, quietly humming along until he remembered the melody and started to sing.

Oh my god. How was I supposed to just lie here and listen to him? He only had part of a verse and what could be the chorus. At least I think that's all he had. He really didn't have time to finish. As his lyrics hit me, I felt myself start to sob and the next thing I knew he was kneeling by the bed, his hand in my hair, pulling me to him.

He whispered, his lips barely against mine, "God, I'm sorry, Rache. Don't cry…"

I struggled to catch my breath and looked up at him, "What are you sorry about? You were here missing me, and I was off kissing Jeremy and taking care of James and…"

He didn't even let me finish. He leaned down and kissed me, his tongue coaxing my mouth open, and he tasted so sweet… he moved to nuzzle my neck and his breath was warm on my skin… his lips so soft.

I rolled onto my back, tugging the sheet away as he followed me. He covered me with his body and moaned into my mouth as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I wanted him. All of him. This very moment.

He moved his hips against me, and I giggled, feeling him harden against my stomach.

"What's so funny, buttercup?"

I smiled up at him, running my fingers through his messy hair, "G'morning. I see you're up."

He rolled his eyes and tilted his head, pulling one of my nipples into his mouth. Damn. How did we not do this last night? I arched my back to be closer to him, and he ran his hand down my body, pulling the boxer shorts down, then returning to caress my ass and push me against him.

"Nicky?" He nodded against me, but his lips never left my chest. Oh, I loved his mouth… "Where'd my shirt go? Did I miss something last night?"

He looked up at me, a shy smile crossing his lips, "Umm… I'm sorry, Rache… it's silly…"

There was such a playful look in her eyes as she watched me stuttering. I was such a dork. She saw right through me, didn't she?

"What, bunny?"

"I just wanted to… feel you against me when we slept. And the shirt was so big anyway, it just sort of fell off…"

"Fell off?" She laughed, but I could tell she wasn't mad. Okay, I'd felt a little bad sort of undressing her in the middle of the night, but her skin was so soft and warm, I just wanted to feel her as she slept against me.

And I'd been half-asleep and incredibly turned on. At least I'd fallen asleep again and not ravished her. That might have been bad… although she'd woken me up with a blowjob once. I smiled at that memory.

She moved against me, moaning again, and her skin felt like silk, so soft underneath my fingers. I kissed my way across her chest, cupping her breast in my hand and licking at her skin. James couldn't give her this. Jeremy either. Right now it was just us, and no one else mattered. I could make her forget about everything outside of this room, couldn't I?

Her hand darted inside my pajama bottoms, and she mimicked my movements against her ass, "Oh, baby… make love to me?"

Did she think she had to ask? "Forever," I sighed against her neck, fumbling on the nightstand for the condoms we'd never used after I'd thrown them there last night.

"That's nice," she sighed as I pushed my hips against hers before rolling off her slightly. She pulled my pants down my hips and pushed me onto my back before I could protest. Her tongue was hot and wet against my cock… damn. I surrendered to her, weaving my fingers through her hair and tugging slightly so she moaned against me as she took me fully into her mouth.

"Oh, baby… please don't stop. Rache. I'm so… God!" Suddenly it was all too much. Her hands stroked my thighs, and I exploded in her mouth, panting as she kept tonguing me lightly, prolonging my orgasm as she swallowed.

She pulled back and kissed her way up my chest, grinning at me as she sucked hard on one of my nipples, "Were you that turned on all night, Nick?"

"Umm… yeah. Sorry, baby. Give it a second and…"

She silenced me with a quick kiss and smiled, rolling off the bed. I lunged for her, but she danced out of my reach, "Let me wash my face and stuff, bunny. Be right back."

I watched her disappear into the bathroom and collapsed back on the pillows. Damn. I wanted the sex to be earth-shattering and special and… all I did was come from a 2-minute blowjob.

I stared at my reflection in the glass as I dried my face. I could do this. It was okay. So he'd kissed another girl. Big deal. I'd kissed Jeremy and I didn't expect him to keep harping on it. I tried to take a deep breath, but it didn't work. I felt my eyes filling up with tears as Nick called my name from the bedroom.

"Just a sec, bunny."

I sat down on the toilet and leaned against my legs, trying not to make too much noise. Damn. Should have kept the water running or something. Quickly I flushed the toilet and tried to stop crying. I was such a mess. It was okay. Nick loved me. I knew he did. That girl the other night was just him missing me. He'd written that sad song about me… how'd it go again? Turn off the sun and the moon, all he had was inside this room?

I stared at myself again… was it me or just anyone inside this room that he needed?

"Buttercup…" Nick called again and I shook my head, trying to stop these stupid thoughts in my brain. It would all be fine. Fine.

She appeared in the doorway and I smiled over at her. Damn, she was beautiful. Even with her hair a mess and no makeup, she still took my breath away. I knelt on the bed, and she joined me, looking down at me as I ran my hands down her arms when she was within reach.

"Okay, Rache?" She smiled, and I pulled her down onto the bed with me. "Can we go back to where we were?" She nodded and pushed me flat on my back, making me laugh, "I didn't mean…" But her tongue was on me again, and I felt my dick harden at her touch. "Damn, Rache. How do you do that?"

She looked up at me, "Do you need a biology lesson, Nick?" Her tongue darted inside my belly button and I giggled at the sensation. I loved laughing in bed with her.

I pulled her back up to my lips and she blinked, a tear falling down onto my face, "Oh, baby… please stop crying, Rache." She fell beside me, burying her head in the crook of my neck as I pulled her into my body, wrapping my arms tightly around her. She cried a little, and I could feel her trying to calm down. What the hell? I thought we were good… Then again, I had been close to tears all day yesterday, just anticipating seeing her and fearing the moment that she'd have to leave me again.

I kissed her neck and she shuddered at my touch, "God, Nick… just make me… I want to feel okay again. Please?"

She looked up at me, her eyes filling with tears again and I couldn't stand to look at her and know that she was this sad. This was like a Dad mood. I didn't know where it came from, or how to stop it or even what it meant. I just knew it made me feel so fuckin' helpless. I was such an asshole. I'd done this to her, kissing that other girl. Why did I do that? Why was I so stupid?

Suddenly her lips crashed into mine, and I opened up to her, rolling her onto her back and deepening our kiss. She moaned as I ran my hand down her body and parted her legs so I could touch her. Arching her back, she sighed as my fingers slipped against her. She moved her hips against me, her breathing becoming shallow as I hit her clit again and again.

Before I knew it, she was stroking me, and then rolling on a condom. Where the hell did that come from? She moved her hand, and I positioned myself against her, finally sinking inside of her, feeling her entire body moan in response. Or was that me? I breathed in her scent, pushing against her in that familiar rhythm.

The room was quiet, just the sounds of our bodies moving against each other and our breathing coming faster and faster. Usually we were whispering nasty things to one another by this point. I felt my orgasm building as he rolled his hips against me, hitting just the right spot. I started to shatter and felt hot tears on my cheeks, his song ringing in my ears. Shit. I knew I'd fall apart on him. I was way too emotional for this…

Oh, baby, tell me it's going to be okay. I wanted him to promise me that the fairy princesses wouldn't come back and that I was enough. Please, Nick. But I couldn't find my voice… I turned my head and kissed his cheek as I ran my hands down his back. His breath caught in his throat as his body trembled and he started to come, my name dancing on his lips.

I wrapped my legs around him tightly, keeping him against me as he came. He collapsed against me, letting me kiss his neck as his head rested against mine. I played with his hair and didn't want to move. I wished we could just be two normal people who could lie here for hours and drink one another in. But we weren't.

I could hear people moving outside in the hotel hallway, and suddenly I was aware of everything outside this room. There were fans in the lobby and James on the other side of our adjoining door. Frank had probably been up for hours, checking on the hall and Nick's door, making sure nothing disturbed us.

Even when he'd been with me on tour, we hadn't been normal. He thought we had been because it was more normal than this. But even then we'd had Lola worrying about our every move, our schedule timed to the second.

"Oh, baby… when do we get to be normal?" I heard myself sigh before I could stop myself.

He rolled over, his legs still tangled with mine as he settled against me. He ran a finger across my cheek, wiping away my tears, and I turned to look at him.

"What do you mean, Rache?"

I shook my head and tried to smile, but it didn't work. "I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to move, and I don't want this to end, Nick."

He pulled me back to him, his strong arms holding me close, "Shhh… it's okay, Rache. I'm here…"

"Just for a couple days, and then it will all go back…"

"Back to what, baby?"

"Those girls who want you and the temptation. There was a girl up here, Nick?"

Nick pulled away from me, and I sat up quickly, covering myself with the sheet, unable to meet his questioning stare.

"I said I was sorry, Rache."

His voice was barely a whisper, and I immediately wanted to take it back. "I'm sorry… It's just that… they're always there, Nick."

"So is Jeremy," he countered, raising an eyebrow at me and I could feel the tension rising between us again. Were we really going to do this again?

"But Jeremy doesn't mean anything to me."

"Enough for you to want him in your bed the other night."

"It wasn't like that, and you know it."

"Well neither was she. I was just alone and missing you so bad. I'm sorry, Rache. How many times do I have to say that? I thought we were good?"

I shrugged. I didn't know the answer to that. I didn't even know that I wanted an answer. No, that's not true. I wanted the answer to be that he'd never be tempted again. That it didn't matter how much we were apart because he loved me so much that he'd never even glimpse at another woman. I wanted the fantasy and the fairy tale. Could it all just end now with happily ever after?

We were quiet for a long time, just staring at one another, neither of us knowing what to say to end these questions. Finally, I heard a knock at the adjoining door and I slipped out of bed, finding his t-shirt lying by his side of the bed and pulling it over my head quickly. We weren't being loud, were we? Did James hear us fighting?

"Hi," I opened the door a crack and tried to smile at James. Immediately he knew though, and he reached out for me. I pulled away. No, I couldn't fall apart. Not now. "Give us a few minutes, we just woke up."

"Sure. I'll go get coffee. And donuts?"

I nodded, smiling at James, "Thanks."

I closed the door, going back over to the bed where Nick was sitting and staring at me. I ran my fingers through his messy hair, and he relaxed a bit at my touch, looking up at me, "I heard. You want to shower first?"

I pulled on his hand, coaxing him off the bed, "Since when do you make me shower alone? You missed wet, slippery Rachel last night. I thought she was your favorite?"

He smiled a bit at that and pulled me into him for a quick hug, kissing the top of my head, "I wasn't sure you'd want me there."

"Oh, bunny… no matter what, I want you there, okay? I'm sorry. You apologized last night and… I should just drop it, huh?"

He nodded and I hugged him tighter, willing those jealous thoughts to leave me.

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