Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 18

By
The Paperbag Princess & The Pumpkin Coach

"Frank!" I yelled into the phone, and got a weary sigh in response.

"Yes, dear?"

"Tell the punkass venue idiots that I am allowed to park my fucking car and see my boyfriend!" James could barely control his laughter, watching me as I scowled into the phone and tried to check my hair in the rearview mirror at the same time. Not that Nick would care if my hair was a mess. I'd talked to him an hour ago and he was just a little excited that I was coming to see him…

I loved road tripping with James. I did. There was no one else I would rather spend several hours in a car with. We played stupid games and listened to the radio and always managed to find something to talk about.

But he wasn't Nick. I was good with James, but I'd been with him for days and now I wanted my boyfriend. And he was so close, but these stupid security guards thought I was some crazed fan.

"Did you show them your pass?"

"Yes!" I snapped. "They said it was okay for me, but not James and not the car."

"I'll be right there. Where are you?" he hastily added.

I laughed into the phone. "Hovering near the buses."

"Three minutes." He clicked off, and I smiled at James.

"Frank will fix it."

He nodded at me. "He's good that way. They said you could go through, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed, looking at him blankly.

"So go."

"No, James, I'll stay with you."

He leaned over, opening my door. "Frank will take care of me, I'm sure. Go."

"Sweetie, no, I…"

He unbuckled my seat belt. "You've been coming out of your skin since we got to Canada, for God's sake. Go and find him."

I grabbed his face and kissed him. There was a reason I loved this man so much. I jumped out of the car and managed to avoid the fans that were considering our car suspiciously. I looked like hell. I doubt they'd even recognize me. Flashing my pass at the snotty security guy, I ducked past him and started down the ramp to the stage door.

Could I do this? Every time I came to these huge ass venues with Nick, we drove in. This wasn't walking up to the door at one of my little clubs. No, this was a freaking loading dock. The buses were parked here, so this had to be the way in, but…

The huge door slid open and Frank ducked underneath it. Saved!

I ran towards him, and he rolled his eyes when he realized it was me. "Did you ditch James already?"

"I was driving him crazy. Will you take care of him?"

"Of course, darlin'. I'll even rough up the punkass venue security for ya." He pulled me into a hug, surprising me, but I hugged him back as hard as I could when my arms couldn't fit around his girth.

"How you doin', Frank?" I asked quietly, as he let me go.

"I'm good. Better every day, like the rest of the world. You're crazy. You know that, right? Coming all this way to see him."

"What else I was gonna do with this time off?"

"Something productive?" he teased, and I giggled.

"What, sex with my boyfriend isn't productive?"

"I don't want to know!" he yelled, covering his ears. "Go, he's back there somewhere. I didn't see him to tell him you're here."

I kissed his cheek and ran through the open door before it closed again.

Shit, it was quiet back here. They'd been here for a night already; I guess all the loading had been done, and the stage was in place. I'd never been in a stadium by myself before. Nick always held my hand and showed me where things were. This was so normal to him, all stadiums were basically the same, and he navigated them with ease. I came to the end of the corridor and tried the door. Locked.

Damn. I walked back to the beginning and looked around. This was dumb. I was lost. Maybe I should have waited and come in with Frank.

My phone rang, and I dropped the video game controller. Please be Rachel, she called over an hour ago to say she was an hour away, why wasn't she here yet? "Rache?"

"I'm lost!" she whined, and my heart sank.

"It's a great big stadium, buttercup, I didn't think you could miss it." I teased, trying not to pout. It was nearly seven already. We had to be onstage in a couple of hours and still had meet and greet stuff to do. She should have been here at five. Then we would have had some alone time. I'd even found an empty room…

"I'm here. Frank came out to kick some ass with the venue security, and James told me to come find you, and I'm here at the loading dock and it is very quiet. Where are you?"

I laughed. I couldn't help it. She was too cute sometimes. "I'll come and rescue you, Rache. Where are you?"

"I just came in the big door, and there's trucks here, but it's empty and no one's around."

"The big door near the buses?"

"There's another big door?" she snapped, and I giggled again.

"No, there's just that one. I know where you are, stay put, I'll be right there." I moved out of the room and I don't think anyone even noticed, they were all too busy with their own things.

"Is the power of your love strong enough to find me?" she asked, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Definitely. Should I be hurt that you can't find me?"

"Stadiums are very big, Nicky," she pouted. "And I am not an international superstar who is used to them. Yet."

"Next year, you'll be rescuing me from stadiums." I might need rescuing now. I usually just followed Frank or one of the other fellas. Should I go right or left here?

"Oh, doubtful, bunny. Not unless we're opening for someone cool like N*Sync or something."

"Hey!" I protested. Left was the wrong choice. Nothing looked familiar. I jogged back to my starting point and took the other hallway.

"Did I tell you that JC called James today?" she asked quickly.

"Really?" That was weird, wasn't it? Wasn't that just a one-night stand? Well, two, if you counted the VMA's.

"Really," she cooed back. "James tried to be all cool about it, but he's so crushed out."

"Wasn't he always?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "But I think JC might be crushed back, a little."

"Are you sure I can't tell the fellas about this?" I whined, opening a door and peering down that corridor. Fuck, where the hell was the loading dock? Shouldn't all hallways lead to the loading dock or something? What? They never heard of signs in Canada?

"Yes! James would just die. It's our secret, bunny."

"But it's such good gossip!" I protested, taking my chances with the mysterious hallway. The door slammed shut behind me and I eyed it suspiciously. I hope that didn't lock or anything…

"Hey, is that you?" she asked.

"What?"

"That door slamming."

"Yes." Fuck it if it locked. I was almost to Rachel. Yeah, this hallway ended at the loading dock, it had to. I ran the final few steps and there she was, running towards me. She hugged me so hard it almost knocked me off balance, and I moved to lean against the wall, holding her tightly.

I buried my face in his chest, breathing him in. God, I needed this, I needed him. I would have walked from Chicago if it meant getting to these arms quicker. He smelled like safety and love. Even if the world had turned upside down, Nick was still here and he was still mine.

We just stood there for a long minute, holding each other, then he kissed the top of my head and I could feel his smile. "You smell like Doritos."

I jumped back from him, pouting. "I do not!" I brushed my teeth at the last rest stop. I should smell minty fresh.

He giggled, pulling me back to him, sniffing at my neck. "Maybe it's Cheetos, then."

"Quit it!" I whined, trying to squirm away as the little hairs on his chin tickled my neck. "There may have been some junk food."

"There were…" he nuzzled my neck, pretending to think, and the tickling sensation stopped as he kissed my skin. "Twizzlers." His tongue glided over my neck and I suppressed a moan. "And peanut M&M's."

"Oh, you are just making that up now."

He cupped my face in his hands, tracing the line of my cheekbones with his thumbs and smiling down at me. "Maybe." He kissed me, slowly, his tongue meeting mine, and I had to wrap my arms tighter around him to keep standing. I loved kissing him, feeling his lips against me, leaning into his body. "Sweet," he breathed, as we broke apart, and I let my head fall against his shoulder as his head rested on mine and he held me.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Thank you for coming," he answered, his voice soft and right next to my ear. "I missed you so much."

"I know," was the only answer I could manage because when I looked back up at him, I was powerless not to kiss him. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I pulled him down to me as our lips found each other again.

"Oh, stop!" James whined, and I reluctantly stopped kissing Rachel. How long had we been standing here making out in the hallway? Not long enough. We weren't going to get much time alone this weekend, were we?

That might be okay. If we were alone together too long, I knew I was going to spill about that groupie, and then Rachel was going to leave me, and that could not happen. Not now. Not ever, but especially not now. In the last few minutes, I'd felt better than I had in days, more grounded, settled, happier. She was all I needed. I squeezed her tightly and her eyes fluttered shut briefly before she turned to see James.

"Hey, you told me run ahead," she pouted, but stepped away from me anyway.

Frank arched an eyebrow at us. "Why are you here on the loading dock?" he wondered, and I had to laugh, remembering her panicked phone call.

"I got lost," Rachel admitted, as Frank and James burst into laughter.

"She had to call me to come save her," I added, grinning at her.

"My knight in shining armor!" she giggled, kissing me quickly. "Or baggy jeans. Whatever. Did Frank slay the mean security guard for you, James?"

"Was somebody mean to you, baby?" I asked her, rewarded with a cute mock pout. God, I loved her lips. How long before I got to feel them all over my body? It was taking what little self-control I had not to push her into a dark corner and start undressing her right now.

"He said we couldn't park with the buses."

"I gave him a talking to," Frank informed us. "We need to go back and get James a pass, though."

He started down the hall, and James followed. "Do I get a cool all-access one like Rachel's? Does my picture have to be on it? I look like crap."

"Your picture has to be on it if it's all-access," Frank told him. "But I'm not sure if we trust you enough to give you one of those."

"Hey!" James whined, looking back at us. Damnit. I liked it here. It was quiet and no one else should be by to bother us. As soon as we joined the others, it was all over. AJ would want to talk to Rachel, and Kevin would want me to be doing… something. Something other than making out with my girlfriend, which is all I wanted to be doing.

"You trust her!" James went on. "I wouldn't trust her. She's gonna take naked pictures of all of them and sell them on Ebay."

"Damnit, James, I told you if you kept it quiet, I'd give you half the profits!" Rachel ran to catch up with him, and I followed reluctantly. Backstage, show, that's all I had to do, then I could be alone with her.

But alone might be bad. Right.

When did this get so complicated? Keeping secrets from Rachel might be too hard. But if I told her, I'd just hurt her, and I didn't want to do that.

Shoulda thought of that before you brought a groupie up to your room, Carter. Idiot!

"Do you have a camera?" Frank asked, and James and I cracked up. We didn't even have a camera to follow through on the joke. Suddenly we were in another room and people were milling about. People who looked vaguely familiar. Dancers and roadies… the other boys had to be around here somewhere, right?

"Camera for what, darling?" AJ wondered, slipping an arm around my waist and pulling me away from Nick.

"Naked pictures of you, of course."

"Tired of looking at Nicky's?" he teased, shooting Nick a look. What? How did he… Nick was blushing. He told them about those pictures I took at the Point last month? Hell, I hadn't even gotten them developed yet.

I whirled around, and Nick just laughed, shaking his head, "Way to go, dawg, I'll never get them away from her now!"

"What do I want naked pictures of you for?" AJ laughed. "Did you get any of her? That's the question!"

I tried to glare at Nick, but it was no use. He was just too cute. Sarah came over to us and put her arm around AJ's shoulder, "Why do you need naked pictures of anyone, Alex?"

Caught, AJ spun Sarah around, dipping her down for a long, dramatic kiss, "You are all the woman I need, wo-man!"

She rolled her eyes at me when he stood her up again. "He really wants the naked pictures of Nick," she stage-whispered.

"Yeah," I agreed. "We're just the cover."

"Hey!" both boys whined in unison, cracking us all up.

"I was sent to fetch you guys," Sarah informed AJ. "There's something wrong with wardrobe."

"What?"

"I don't know! They asked me to get you, so I'm getting you. C'mon… Rachel will be here for a while."

"Fine," he sighed. "Duty calls. Rachel, we'll hook up later, you'll show me the pictures."

"Totally, Alex," I assured him as Sarah dragged him away. Nick and I just watched them for a second, as AJ wrapped his arm around her waist, making sure she stayed next to him as they moved across the room.

"They're gross," Nick whispered, making me giggle.

"They're cute and in love, bunny," I whispered back. Looking up at him, I caught his expression and turned to him, "Have you been insanely jealous all week?"

He pulled me back into his arms, holding me tightly, but didn't answer. Well, I guess that answered it, didn't it? Of course he was.

"Maybe. I just missed you so much, Rache." His eyes were so serious. I leaned up and kissed him quickly.

"Yeah, the boys were pretty sick of hearing me talk to you and about you all week, too. Sucks not to have someone during a time like this."

"Did I thank you for coming all this way?"

I smiled at him, "Yeah."

"I'm sorry for this week, Rache."

There was that serious look again. Damnit. I wanted it to all fall away now that I was here with him. Guess that was too much to ask for.

"Don't be. It was… this week just sucked, Nick. I'm here now and we're good. Right?"

He smiled quickly, leaning down and kissing the tip of my nose, "Better than good, Rache."

James hollered for me and we went over to him. He was pouting about his horrible backstage pass picture.

"Oh! Did I tell you about Mari?" I remembered suddenly as James convinced Frank that he had to have a new picture or no one would recognize that this was him and he'd just get stopped and have to call Frank to rescue him. Nick looked at me blankly, and I had to laugh, "Mari… Darien's girl?"

"She's been elevated to 'Darien's Girl'?" I asked, stifling a laugh. I loved my girl. She was all distracted now, jumping from one topic to another as we half-listened to James and Frank as they fought over James' picture. They were too funny. I think James was a little punchy, too, after being in the car all day.

"Yep. They're figuring out when they can see each other and stuff. It's so cute. Darien in love."

"Love?" James interjected, "Don't get ahead of yourself, dear."

"Well, it could be love. Disasters have a way of bringing people together. You know, declaring feelings that they didn't know they had and all. One day you're just a two-night stand, and then suddenly you feel compelled to email him 10 times a day and leave sappy messages on his voicemail."

James glared at her, picking up the obvious JC reference, but she just smiled sweetly at him, "I just spent nine hours in a car with you. You should be nicer to me."

"As if!" she argued, reaching up and messing up his hair right before Marty took another picture. He lunged for her, and she turned, trying to get away, but ran right into me.

James caught my eye and I smiled. Oh, she was gonna get it now… I held her as James started tickling her, making her squirm in my arms and squeal like a 4 year-old.

"Stoppit! Stoppit!" she hollered, and I let her go. Man, I'd never seen such a big pout on my girl's face.

Just then, Kevin bellowed my name and I frowned, "Damnit… Yeah, yeah, Kev. Be there in a sec!" For the record, I tried really hard not to roll my eyes, but it's like they had a mind of their own. Kevin was standing by the doorway with Jana, and I just… I couldn't stop myself. I rolled my eyes and Rachel and James giggled at me. I looked up at Kevin, and he was so not happy. Fuck him.

"Whatever. Don't deal with wardrobe, and you'll trip over yourself onstage… oh, wait, you do that already."

Everyone laughed and I tried not to glare. Did he have to talk to me like that in front of my friends? I swear… sometimes I hated him. Not like brother hate. But real honest to goodness hate.

I glanced over at Nick as Kevin teased him and was surprised by the look on his face. Kevin was just teasing, right? Hell, he'd moved on to saying something about Howie's hair, but Nick was still glaring at him.

Nick caught my look and flashed me a fake smile. Howie had flipped the teasing over to James, so I took Nick's hand, pulling him into a corner while everyone else was distracted. "What's wrong, bunny?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. "I just… you just fucking got here, and Kevin expects me to work!" he pouted. "They've all had their girls all week, and it's totally fucking unfair."

I tried not to smile at his whiney tone. "I'm sorry we were late. If we'd gotten here earlier, you wouldn't be so busy."

"That's not your fault." He shook his head at me. "No. They could give me a minute." I started to protest, but he kissed me. Not one of those sweet, lingering kisses from a while ago, as he teased me at the loading dock. No, this kiss was more aggressive. He forced my mouth open with his tongue and seemed to devour me. Pressing his lips harder against mine, his teeth dug into my lower lip. After a moment, I tried to pull away, but he held my head firmly with his hand and I had to struggle a bit to get free. He groaned quietly, moving into me with his eyes still closed as I pulled away and tried to catch my breath.

Shit. I'd managed to distract myself for a few minutes, but now I just wanted to get him alone. We just looked at each other for a second, and then he took my hand, leading me down the hall, away from the others. I think they were still busy teasing James about his bad hair day because no one noticed as we slipped out of the room.

Nick opened a door a few feet down the hall and pulled me inside a dark room, kissing me again before the door even shut behind us. I heard the lock click, and I smiled up at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing my hips against his. Suddenly I couldn't get close enough to him. He lifted me up onto something… counter? Yeah. He pushed my legs open, and I couldn't stop my whimpering as his hands fondled my ass and his hips met mine.

Damn. This was what I'd wanted for days now, to lose myself in him, to touch him and feel his body against mine… to the let the whole world become just the two of us. I could forget anything when I was in his arms, even the whole world crashing down. This is what I'd wanted when I kissed Jeremy, this comfort and safety and…

Fuck. Jeremy. Why was I thinking about him now?

There was a knock at the door, and I jumped. Nick muffled my scream, putting his hand over my mouth. Then he leaned down, whispering in my ear, and I felt a chill run down my spine. "Be very quiet and they'll go away."

"Nick, I know you're in there!" Frank yelled, and I had to giggle. Hadn't we done this before? The first time I saw a Backstreet show, we'd run away from Frank to see how soon he'd find us. "That's my job, little man!"

"Is not," Nick muttered, dropping his hand from my mouth and wrapping his arms around me protectively. Mmmm… that was nice. I leaned against him and could hear his heart beat inside his chest.

"Come on, punkass. You need to deal with wardrobe. Rachel's allowed to go with you to wardrobe, you know."

She squealed like a little kid, the freak. Frank so heard that. "Wardrobe!" she giggled. "That will be fun."

I shook my head, pouting down at her, "No. This is fun, Rache. More of this?" I dropped my lips to her neck and kissed her in that spot… yeah… right there. Her whole body went limp for a second as I felt her pulse in my mouth. The spot that made her do that.

"Come on, Nicky. Just a few minutes in wardrobe and then we can duck back in…"

I moved to her ear and bit down gently, making her stop talking as her body responded. She was wearing a little tank top and I felt my way up from the bottom, my hand barely touching her skin before I found my destination. Cupping her breast in my palm, I felt her nipple harden through the soft lace. Oh, I loved these lacy bras. "Just a quick taste, baby?" I whispered.

I teased her nipple through the soft fabric, and she wrapped her legs around my waist, trapping me against her as we heard Frank trying the door again and banging on it. I wouldn't be able to keep him out of here for much longer. But just a few more seconds… She clutched my hair as I sucked hungrily on her breast, and then arched her back and moaned quietly… oh, I couldn't stop now. No fuckin' way.

I pulled my head back, "Tell Kevin I'd rather fuckin' trip!" I called over my shoulder, making her giggle again. But I wasn't quick enough, and she jumped down, straightening her clothes as she moved to the door. What could I do? I surrendered and let her take my hand as she opened the door.

"Clothes always get the girl," Frank said sagely, and I glared at his smug smirk.

Rachel stuck her tongue out at him, "I just want to see him naked. I could care less about the clothes."

"Uh, Rache?" I asked, as we followed Frank down the hall towards the wardrobe room. "I don't actually get naked for wardrobe. I have underwear. Now… if you'd been quiet back there…"

Frank laughed, "Sex in a broom closet? How romantic. At least my dates buy me dinner, Rache."

She laughed with him but shot me a quick look that let me know in no uncertain terms that we'd be seeing that broom closet again. Hell, it was the only place I could find that was even remotely private. None of the dressing rooms locked and the buses were parked out back, not in the loading dock.

"I'm not fussy. Or haven't you heard?" She dismissed that with a wave of her hand, skipping next to me. "It's been weeks since I've seen your undies!"

"Christ," Frank complained, opening the door to the wardrobe room for us. "It's been a week since we were in New York. Get over it."

Only a week? Really? It felt like longer than that. Then again, it'd been a very bizarre week. Rachel met my eyes, and I could tell she was thinking the same thing.

Damn, what a week it'd been. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I looked over at Nick. It was scary how much your life could change in a week or a day or a minute. Last week we'd been so distraught when I'd had to leave him in New York… and now that seemed so pointless. So we wouldn't see each other for a few weeks. There were families that would never see their loved ones again. Ever.

Nick smiled down at me, "Stop it, buttercup," he whispered giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

How did he know me so well? Damn, how well did he know me? Could he see the guilt written all over my face? Just the other night, he'd been desperate to talk to me and I'd been fooling around with Jeremy. Some girlfriend I was!

Sarah laughed from across the room, and I looked over to find her standing with James. Damn, we'd forgotten James! I pulled away from Nick and joined them.

"Sorry, James…"

He rolled his eyes, "See? Told you. Blond wonder is in the same building and I'm suddenly chopped liver!"

Sarah laughed at his joke, and I just stared at them for a second. James was my friend! There would be no in-jokes between him and Sarah! There were only in-jokes with me! I saw him first!

"Well, you have to admit, he is a cutie," Sarah smiled over at Nick, and he rolled his eyes as someone from wardrobe explained something about the coat she was holding. He scowled at her for a second before he caught me watching him.

"Mine," I laughed, going over to him. "What's wrong, bunny?"

The wardrobe girl laughed out loud and Nick turned to me, "Rache!"

"What, bun…oh! Sorry, baby…" He just shook his head.

"It's okay, Nick. Sarah's nickname for me is much worse." AJ stage-whispered to us.

"Do tell!" The girl who was helping him giggled, "Have anything to do with that cute butt of yours?"

"Stop making fun of my non-existent butt, woman! Or I'll have your ass fired!" AJ laughed. He could barely get it out before Sarah was behind him, pinching his butt and whispering something in his ear.

"See… they're gross."

"Looks like you and Rachel to me, bunny." James laughed.

Nick just shook his head and pulled on his coat. He stood before the wardrobe girl and stretched his arms out so she could pin the hem or do whatever she needed to do to fix it. Didn't look like it needed fixing to me. It was perfect. I loved this coat - long, black, leather… what's not to like? Nick caught my eye in the mirror, and I recognized that look. He was remembering our last conversation about that coat. I'd been pinned against the door to our hotel room in New York, and he'd been peeling those skintight pants off my body…

"Nick… Alex!" Kevin called, and I pulled myself away from Nick's eyes, feeling my face flush. That's right, he was working here. "After you're finished we need to meet with Marty and the band."

Nick grumbled, and Kevin ignored him. I had a feeling Kevin did that a lot… ignore Nick. He was going to be grumpy until we had a chance to be alone, and it didn't look like that was going to happen now.

"Hey, baby." I pulled him over to me when the wardrobe girl had taken his coat back, "James and I need to check in with Lola. Saffron was supposed to fax over some things for us to look at. New press schedules and stuff." He pouted down at me, and I leaned up, brushing the hair off his forehead. "Think we can use an empty room while you soundcheck?"

"Rache, it will just be a few minutes, promise."

"It's okay, Nick. Really. James and I can amuse ourselves. We're good at it!"

"Yeah," he grumbled, "Frank will find a room for you." He called Frank over and then disappeared with AJ, following Kevin wherever he went to do secret Backstreet things.

"This is amazing, Rache. How many people are on the Backstreet payroll?" James wondered as soon as we were alone again. There was no need to call Lola or find a fax from Saffron. But this was easier. Nick could do whatever he needed to and stop feeling angry that we didn't have time together. We'd have all night and most of the day tomorrow to hang out.

"Dunno. More than ours."

"That's not tough. Do they really have a masseuse? Sarah was telling me they did."

I nodded, "Yep. Chiropractor, too, I think. And hair and makeup. It's crazy."

"Think we'll ever be that big?" James mused, going over to the catering table at the end of the room and picking through the bottles of beer and wine. "Hey, they don't have Connor wine!"

"I'm surprised they have any alcohol!"

"Yeah, Sarah said AJ doesn't want special treatment," James informed me as he popped open a beer and handed it to me before fishing out a Guinness for himself.

"Sarah says… Sarah says," I sing-songed. "Since when is Sarah your new best friend?"

He laughed, falling next to me on the couch, "Green is so not your color, Rache!"

"Oh, stop!"

"Well, she's better than Leighanne. What's up with her?"

I shrugged. I hadn't even noticed Leighanne or Brian in the room, to be honest. I remembered her from the last show I was at, though. "I don't think she and Sarah get along. And they so don't approve of Jana."

"Jana?"

"Kevin's girl. The redhead."

"Oh! The mistress! Yeah, Sarah told me about her. She seems nice enough. She likes us."

"She's a Long Island, girl!" I informed him. "Well, via Kentucky. She and Kevin went to high school together or something."

"And where's the wife now?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

I just took another sip of my beer. I didn't want to think about Kevin and his mistress. Kevin was the one that Nick looked up to the most. And his role model was having an affair. "Dunno. Not here. Nick says they were being pretty discreet about it… but…"

"Tragedy changes things, huh?"

"Yeah. Like you and a certain boy bander." I teased, and James shook his head, looking toward the door as a couple of roadies came in to get something to eat.

"Shhh!"

"Oh, no one cares what we're talking about, James. So, I saw you text-messaging earlier. Was that him?"

He couldn't even suppress his smile, "Maybe." I scowled at him, and he cracked up, "Okay… yeah. They're in LA and he's bored, I think."

"Or maybe it's love…"

"It's so not love, dear. I don't think he knows the meaning of the word. It is, however, amazing sex. Well, for him."

I had to laugh. James had told me all about their first night. JC was truly blown away by being with a real gay man, not a half-closeted boy who was safe and wouldn't tell in the morning because he was ashamed of it himself.

"Speaking of illicit acts… you and boy wonder weren't gone for long."

"No. And…" I stopped myself as more people came into the room. James lowered his head closer to me, "I don't know, James. I think I have to tell him. It doesn't feel right. I can't just let this thing with Jeremy…"

James cut me off, "Oh, stop! It was nothing, Rache. Right?"

I nodded slowly.

"So. Quit being fuckin' Cassandra and move on."

"You are such a freak, James!"

"You got the reference!" he teased. Yeah, it was a total Darien thing to say though. I had to laugh. Cassandra… she who could tell no lie. That was always my problem. I wasn't good at the lying thing. Not ever.

chapter added 4.12.03

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