chapter 19 - page 9

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 19

By
The Paperbag Princess & The Pumpkin Coach

That cannot possibly be someone at my door. I lifted my head from the pillow slightly and listened as they pounded again. Not Frank's knock. I wasn't fuckin' moving. They would have to drag me out of bed to drive to Chicago tomorrow. I didn't care. Soon my life would be over anyway. Why couldn't someone put me out of my misery now?

But the banging didn't stop. I was gonna kill someone.

I pulled myself out of bed, and my head spun as I steadied myself against the bedroom door. I surveyed the damage again. Was that a bra on the back of the couch? I groaned and pushed it down between the cushions and picked up my t-shirt from last night, pulling it over my head. Then the knocking began again.

"It says DO NOT DISTURB…" I bellowed as I opened the door.

He looked horrible. His hair was standing straight up, and he had his t-shirt on inside out. I let my bag fall at my feet and pulled him into my arms before he could say anything. He stood there for a moment, not responding.

"I love you, Nick," I whispered into his chest as he put his arms around me, finally, holding on to me tightly and resting his head on top of mine.

I kicked my bag inside the door and then closed it behind me. He quickly pinned me against it, his body covering mine as he started planting kisses all over my face, making me giggle.

"Oh, baby, I love that sound. I love you." I could feel him smiling against my forehead, and I reached up to run my fingers through his hair.

"Have you been sleeping all day, Nick?"

He pulled away from me, his eyes devouring me like he thought I might disappear in the next second. "You told me to go back to bed," he stated, very matter of factly.

I grinned at him and took his hand in mine, pulling him over to the couch, "So I did. Who knew you actually listened to me?" He winced as he fell back onto the couch. "Oh, does your head still hurt, honey?"

He pouted up at me, "Yes."

"Good thing I'm here. Did Frank make you take some aspirin like a good minder?"

"He's not my minder," I grumbled. Frank didn't make me do anything. I was his boss. Besides, I didn't think he was talking to me anymore. I hadn't heard from him since this morning. Suddenly, I remembered everything, and my eyes darted around the room, looking for any more incriminating evidence from last night. Fuck, I should have let housekeeping in!

Rachel's eyes followed mine. Please don't see anything. Please don't see anything.

"Someone had a party last night, Nicky." She was smiling.

I let out a sigh of relief, smiling meekly, "Yeah, I guess. I don't remember much after getting up here. Think I passed out on the bed. The mini-bar was raided when I woke up."

That was good. I passed out. It was close to true. I didn't really remember what had happened last night after Donna Debra Daria and I got up here. I think one of the dancers was here and either Carlos or Eddie… Howie even, for a few minutes, before he and Kevin left for Chicago. And did Donna Debra Daria have friends? There were other girls here.

Oh my god, what if Frank didn't get rid of her? What if she was still in the hotel? Fuck.

"Nick, baby, why don't I fill the tub? Maybe you'll feel better after some aspirin and a warm bath." She stood before me, and I leaned forward, resting my head on her stomach as she played with my hair. I loved the way she touched me. "Have you eaten anything today? You certainly haven't brushed your hair… or your teeth," she laughed.

She sounded like my mother, but I didn't care. She was here. Rachel was standing in front of me, taking care of me. I pulled myself off the couch, kissing her cheek quickly before she could pull away from me with a nose wrinkle, "Two seconds."

I ran back into the bedroom and did a quick scan. It was a mess, but it was all my mess. Game cartridges and dirty clothes on the floor. No misplaced undergarments or girl's earrings. I peered in the trashcan by the bed. No condom? What did we do last night? I shook the thought out of my head and went into the bathroom, splashing water on my face and brushing my teeth quickly. I considered my reflection. You are such a fuck up, Carter. If she finds out, this is over. I stuck out my tongue at my reflection and flicked off the light.

"Whatcha doing, baby? The bedroom's in there."

She was holding a trashcan and throwing errant beer bottles and cups inside. She looked up at me and smiled. "Are you clean?"

"Relatively. Leave all that. Housekeeping will come later."

She shook her head. "It'll just take a second."

But I didn't let her finish her thought, as I went over and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her down onto the couch with me. She giggled again, and the trash can fell on the floor, beer bottles clattering. I felt my chest tighten as she settled against me, her fingers tracing tiny circles on my stomach as her hand found its way underneath my t-shirt. Then it occurred to me. "Rachel, aren't you supposed to be on a plane to LA?"

Her body stiffened for a moment, and then she sighed, "You're more important right now, Nick."

She loved me. I knew she did. And I'd fucked it all up. I felt myself starting to fall apart again. No, she wouldn't find out. It was going to be okay. Only Frank knew, and he was paid to keep my secrets. Who'd believe Donna Debra Daria if she told? I saw the boards; half of them didn't even believe Rachel was my girlfriend, and I was honest about that! We'd be together tonight, and everything would be okay.

She didn't wait for me to respond but kept talking, never looking up at me, "You sounded so sad on the phone, Nick. I just couldn't bear the thought that I made you feel that way. I'm sorry for ruining our day together. And for missing our phone date… I should have told the boys that I had to go." She took a deep breath and then looked up at me, her hand lightly stroking my cheek, "Forgive me, bunny?"

I pushed her back against the couch cushions and covered her with my body, finally kissing her properly. My tongue darted into her mouth and she moaned, arching her back as I quickly popped the buttons on her blouse. I couldn't wait until she found all her candles and we took a long bath together. I needed her now. She moved against me, moaning as I pinched her nipple roughly and caressed her stomach with my other hand. I didn't need anyone but Rachel, if only she could be here always.

"I want you, Rache. Please." I begged her, and she nodded, pulling my t-shirt up over my head as I shed my boxers. She fumbled in the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a condom as a sly smile crossed her lips. "Expecting sex first thing, are you?" I teased her, and she laughed.

"Do you want me to get up and rummage through my bag?"

She tried to wiggle out from under me, but I pulled her back to me, holding onto her hips tightly. "You aren't going anywhere until I say you can," I growled before crashing my mouth back into hers.

She giggled and kicked off her shoes as I pulled her jeans down. Finally she was naked and I stopped moving, just letting my eyes drink her in. She bit down on her bottom lip as I stared at her, lightly running my hand over her soft skin, "You are so incredibly gorgeous, Rachel. I don't tell you that enough. I'm sorry."

"Shhhh…" She took the condom out of my hand and kissed my chest, pushing me onto my back and crawling on top of me, "No getting maudlin on me, Carter."

She took my erection in her hand, stroking me gently and I let my head fall back against the cushions, "Oh, baby, your hands feel so good on me. Please, Rache, I want to be inside you. I need to feel your wetness around me, pulling me into you."

I saw that desperate look in his eyes and heard it in his voice. Quickly I rolled the condom on and straddled his hips. Closing my eyes, I lowered myself onto his cock, feeling my breath catch in my throat as I adjusted to feeling him inside me, "Jesus, Nick. You're so hard…"

He let out that sexy 'he-he' that I loved so much, and I started moving my hips back and forth against him, and he thrust up to meet me, mumbling something that sounded like 'mine.' I loved it when he got all possessive and focused when he was fucking me… like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.

Suddenly, I couldn't be close enough to him. I leaned down, running my tongue along his ear and making him groan as I raised myself so that he was nearly out of me and then slammed back down onto him, "Oh, god, fuck me. Nick, I need you so bad."

I felt that desperate need that I saw so often in his eyes, and he rolled over, making us both fall off the couch. He hovered over me, smiling down as he lifted my leg, running his tongue along the inside of my thigh, stopping to suck hard on the tender flesh, making me moan. I lifted my hips, encouraging him to touch me where I needed him. But he ignored my pleas, sucking harder on my skin and placing my leg over his shoulder so I was open to him. Finally, he stopped and his tongue glided over my clit quickly before it darted inside me.

"Oh, Nick… fuck me with your tongue. Oh, baby, that's so good. God!"

I was bucking underneath him, clutching at my breasts. I felt him smile as he tried to steady my hips so he could explore me. Finally, he gave up and slammed himself back inside me as he held onto my leg. I felt like I was going to be ripped in half, he was pounding into me so hard, but I didn't care. He was what I needed. Fuck Jeremy and the band and meetings. I just needed this.

Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead,and he bent down to kiss me. I moaned as his tongue met mine, and I could taste myself on him. I wrapped my other leg around his back and lifted my hips to give him better access as he slammed his cock inside me. He never did it this rough, and part of me wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. I wanted it as much as he did.

"God, Rache, your pussy is so tight. You feel so good. I can't hold it," he whispered against my ear, making me come unglued. I loved hearing him talk to me that way. Loved knowing that it was me that got him that turned on. What was I thinking this morning? Nick wouldn't cheat on me. He just partied too hard last night.

I ran my hands down to his ass, guiding him into me and encouraging him to quicken his pace, trying to push thoughts of our fight this morning out of my mind. He moved his hand down between us, his finger pushing hard on my clit, making me scream. "Jesus! Don't stop, Nick. Let it go. I want to feel you come inside me, baby. Please. Oh, god, I'm almost… I'm almost… "

He groaned loudly and collapsed on top of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly, pulling him into me deeper as he rode out his climax and I shook underneath him.

I could barely catch my breath as I shuddered against her. Damn, I missed her. No way I had sex with that girl… even if I did, how the hell could it count? This was what mattered. Rachel. The woman I loved and cared about. Even a quickie on the floor was amazing. No one would ever come close.

I lay down next to her, pulling her back into my arms, and she snuggled up against me, tracing little patterns on my shoulder as she held on to me. Our legs were still entwined, and I felt like I could sleep for days like this, with her against me.

"Nicky, you can't fall asleep on me."

I nodded, running my hand down her back, coming to rest on her ass, "You have such a soft bottom, baby." She giggled, shaking against me, and I smiled. "I love you. I love this. Why are you here again?"

"Cause I love you, bunny… but you might hate me."

Hate her? Never. She was here, that's all that mattered.

"I have to be on a plane in…" She twisted around, looking over at the clock on the television, "12 hours. I have to be in LA for our first meeting tomorrow."

My heart sank, and I had to stop myself from whining. Instead, I buried my face in her neck, kissing her, tasting the salt on her skin. "12 hours? Then I'm never letting you up."

She laughed again, "Surely we can move to the bed?"

"Maybe… but then I'm not letting you up again!" I laughed.

I didn't even want to look at the clock. I just wanted to lay here and sleep against him, maybe wake him up in another hour with a blowjob and then fuck him a dozen more times before I had to leave again.

James' voice echoed in my head… was this really going to make things better? 12 hours where we did nothing but make love? Isn't this what gets us to the overwrought-ness anyway? What was that 're-entry' theory that Nick had last weekend? That actually made sense.

He mumbled something, and I looked up, running my fingers down his face and then leaning forward to kiss his chest. Why'd I bother making him take a shower with me? We just got all sweaty and gross again…

He snuggled against me, and his hand found my ass in his sleep. He pulled me closer and sighed as I continued to lick his nipple. Oh, that was working? His hand tightened on my ass, and he groaned. Yep… that was working, alright… time for round three? Or was it four?

Oh Jesus… fuck… that felt so good. Her soft hands cradling my balls and her mouth on my cock as she lay beside me in the bed that still smelled like us. She used her teeth a little, and I cried out for her. She stopped moving, and I froze.

Rachel, right?

I was almost scared to look down. Had to be Rachel… she was here when I fell asleep. I didn't dream that, I couldn't have dreamt it… no.

She took me back into her mouth, and I looked down at her, smiling as I saw that familiar dark hair. I reached down and pulled the hair back from her face so I could see her better… yeah, that was her cute little button of a nose. Damn, that was something… seeing my cock slide into her mouth, hearing her groan as she took more in.

Steadying her head with my hand, I pushed into her, and she had no choice but to open her mouth and take me in. All of me. Her hands gripped my hips as she tried to dictate the rhythm. No. Not this time. She was always telling me what to do… when to move faster, thrust deeper. This time, I got to call the shots.

And she let me. Her mouth relaxed to take all of me in, and I heard her gag a bit when I hit her throat. "Fuck…" I groaned as I moved in and out.

She was touching herself now. She threw her leg back so she was open, and her fingers slid around her cunt. I reached down to help, but couldn't quite… oh, I had to taste her. I had to make her feel as amazing as I did. I pushed her shoulders, a little more roughly than I'd intended, and she squeaked when she found herself flat on her back.

"Don't move," I commanded as I repositioned myself so my head was between her legs. I breathed her in, and before I could give her another order, I felt her tongue on my balls and then she was stroking me. My tongue darted between her lips and I tasted her need. Without instruction, she opened her legs, and I devoured her. Licking and sucking and biting… as she did the same. Finally, I came deep in her throat, and she pulled away from me. But had she…

"Stop," I finally managed as I felt my head spinning. If he touched me again I was going to cry. I couldn't possibly come again. He moved his head, nuzzling the inside of my thigh, and I reached down to him. "C'mere, baby."

He pulled away and crawled back up to me, a very self-satisfied look on his face. Okay, he'd earned that. Damn… it'd started and I'd thought I was going to have to stop him. I couldn't breathe as he'd shoved his cock into my mouth, but then he'd moved and… he'd leaned down and kissed me, his mouth wet with my juices, and I'd let him explore me. He wasn't usually this aggressive with me… but it was kind of nice.

That there was more than just nice.

"I love you, Rachel," he whispered against my hair as he settled back against the pillows and pulled me back with him. "I'm sorry I'm such a jerk."

What?

I tried to look up at him, but he was holding me tighter, and I just nodded against his chest. "I'm the jerk, Nick." Okay, maybe this was a conversation to be had when I couldn't see his face… couldn't see in his eyes how much I'd hurt him this week. "I'm so sorry, bunny."

"No." His hand stroked my back, and I relaxed a bit at his touch. "Thank you so much for coming… I know I don't deserve it."

I closed my eyes tightly as his voice broke and then pulled away, twisting up to see him, "Oh, bunny… stop. You've had a horrible week, and I should have been here. I'm sorry about Jeremy and missing the date and… fuck… everything."

This is why he was holding me so tight a moment ago… so I couldn't see this look. He was hurt and angry. Still. James was right: 12 hours was not solving this. I could feel the longing in my stomach now, and he was lying right next to me. I couldn't bear to think about leaving him tonight.

He looked down at me, and his expression changed, "No… I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you, Rache." He closed his eyes tightly and I kissed his chest. We couldn't do overwrought yet.

"Stop saying that, or I'm going to get an even bigger head!" She giggled against me. I looked down at her, smiling in my arms. We couldn't do overwrought yet, or I'd tell her everything.

Fuck… we'd made love in this bed. This is where that girl had been just a few hours ago. I had to get Rachel out of here before she figured it out. Women were like that... they had some sixth sense about other women. "Well, you should have a big head, buttercup!" I teased her, kissing her cheeks and neck and every piece of skin I could reach without moving, "You're amazing, Rachel Katherine Connor. You're funny and sexy as hell and talented…"

"And they're the best singers and the best dancers… and now James and I fall down to the floor, screaming, overcome with emotion."

She sent herself into hysterics, moving away from me as she laughed. I just stared at her. Sometimes I had no idea what she was going on about, the freak. But laughing was way better than the alternative, right? "Duran reference?" I guessed, and she smiled over at me, running her foot along my calf. I nearly groaned at her touch.

"You are so good! Sing Blue Silver, their…" She stopped herself and considered me, "Have you done a touring video?"

I rolled my eyes at her and sat up, looking around the room. I was suddenly completely famished. Was there anything left in the mini-bar? Before I could think better of it, I jumped up and ran into the living room, calling back to her, "Duh! I gave it to you… remember?"

"The Burger King thing so doesn't count!" she yelled back.

Score! Peanuts and Doritos and Cheetos… even something that looked like good Swiss chocolate. She'd like that. All Rachel foods! I grabbed the lone bottle of water and loaded up on the snacks.

She was up, sitting cross-legged on the bed as I came back and pouted at her, "Why not? It was a video. It's all behind the scenes stuff. You even get to see me playing video games! Just like that guy you like in Duran."

She rolled her eyes, "Nick! His name is Nick. You'd think you could remember that one! Food!" She cracked me up, all distracted once she saw that I had presents. "Gimme!"

"No! All mine," I teased her, trying to keep them out of her reach, but she moved quickly, grabbing hold of my arm and making me fall onto the bed. Snacks went everywhere and she lunged for the Doritos. "I knew you'd go for those, Rache!"

She stuck out her tongue at me, and I wiggled my eyebrows, making her laugh, "Down boy! I need food before round… what are we on?"

"Dunno, Rache… eight, nine… that there counted as more than one, right?"

Her eyes widened, and she nodded at me, stuffing a handful of Doritos in her mouth before she moved over and fed me one. I took my time, licking the orange powder off her fingers. Who knew that Doritos could be sexy?

She kissed me, wrinkling her nose as she moved away, "Ewww… Dorito breath!"

Those were fighting words. I ripped the bag from her hands and pinned her down, kissing her again. Finally, she sighed into me and wrapped her arms around my neck, letting me kiss her for the longest time, neither one of us wanting the moment to end, I think. This was good. Giggling and naked on the bed with my lover. Yeah. I'd never drink again. Never even think of cheating on her if I got this in return.

Finally, I broke our kiss and stared up at him, a glazed expression on my face, I'm sure.

"Can I just quit my band and be your love slave?" I sighed.

He smiled, "You could. But then James would hunt me down and kill me."

I laughed, "Well, that hardly makes it worth it, now does it?"

He grinned and ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his hands on me. He used to get his hands stuck in my hair all the time, but he'd figured out how to negotiate my curls now. Was I teaching him patience?

"I love you, Rache," he breathed in the space between us.

I nodded against his shoulder, and he sat up again, reaching for the chocolate this time. He fed me a piece and groaned as I licked his fingers. Hey, two can play that game. It was fast becoming all "9 1/2 Weeks" here on the bed…

Suddenly I saw the serious look on his face again, "God, Rache. Loving you means loving who you are. I love your band. I can't imagine you without them."

What did he say? Was I asleep? I looked at him, shock surely registering on my face. "Even Jeremy?" I narrowed my eyes at him, and he laughed.

"I guess. Even Jeremy. Although not with you half naked in his room!"

"I wasn't half-naked!" I screamed, even though I knew he was teasing. "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me, Nick."

And it was. The band had always threatened Damon. And Jeremy, well, he was in the band, so it didn't quite count, did it? But I think I always knew Jeremy wouldn't settle down with me; deep down he'd marry the Madonna figure. He'd find a woman who was content to stand by her man. That so wasn't me. At least I didn't think it was. My appearance here today might make me second-guess that.

I kissed him tenderly and then pulled back, pushing the hair off his face, "Did you mean it?" He nodded, solemnly, "No more fights about the band taking up too much of my time?"

"Ummm…" We both laughed at his expression. "How about I'll try?"

And I would. I'd promise God anything so long as she didn't find out about Donna Debra Daria and leave me. I should just tell her, but I couldn't. I'd make sure she didn't find out. It would be fine.

I did love her, and that meant loving her band. I can't imagine who she'd be if she didn't have her music and get to go up on stage every night and make all the boys want her. I didn't know who I'd be if I couldn't perform, either. I just had to figure out a way to stop being so jealous, that's all.

"Rache?" I whispered her name, half hoping she wouldn't hear me, as she scouted around the bed, looking for something else to eat. She settled for more chocolate and broke off another piece, popping it into her mouth, smiling as the chocolate melted against her tongue. God, I loved her mouth…

No, we should talk, not have sex again. Too soon she'd have to leave. Man, I hated that… watching her leave.

"What, baby? You look upset." She held out a piece of chocolate to me and I ate it, licking her fingers again and making her smile. "God, you have a beautiful mouth," she sighed.

"Funny, I was just thinking that about you," I laughed.

"What were you going to say, Nick?"

I considered her. We could just have sex again. That'd be okay. No. I had to be a grown up, "I'm a jealous freak."

She laughed, then stopped herself when I didn't smile, "What are you talking about, Nick?"

"When you aren't here. When I can't see you and hold you, I'm a jealous boyfriend. When you don't answer your phone, I think you're off with some groupie boy and you've forgotten all about me." All the words seemed to run together as I said them as quickly as I could before I lost my nerve. I held my breath as she considered the snacks scattered around, not meeting my eyes.

"I know, sweetie."

"You don't care?" Why wasn't this concerning her just a little bit? Was she never jealous of me? Did she really trust me that much? She shouldn't.

"I care. But I know that deep down you know that I'd never cheat on you. We made a promise, Nick. That means a lot to me. You know that. Even when you're jealous about Jeremy, I know you know that." She looked at me in all seriousness, "We promised. No groupies. No other people. Just us and... " She sighed, a smile creeping across her lips. "...the hottest phone sex I've ever had."

I raised an eyebrow, "Hottest?"

She laughed, licking her lips, "Oh, baby… you have no idea."

"Oh, I think I do. But, Rache, I still get jealous. A lot."

"We can be jealous, bunny. We just can't let it consume us. You know nothing's happening with Jeremy. Hell, do you think I don't ever sit in my hotel room and wonder where you are when I call?"

"You do?"

"Of course I do!" she practically screamed, "This morning… Oh, god, I can't believe you are making me admit this. This morning, I was convinced that you were with someone." She stopped herself at my horrified expression. At least I hoped it was a horrified expression and not an 'I'm guilty as sin' expression. "I know, I know! I shouldn't have even thought that. But you were so startled when I answered the phone, and then when you didn't pick up after we got disconnected." She stopped, taking a deep breath, her voice barely a whisper when she continued, "It reminded me of Jeremy."

I reminded her of Jeremy? Oh, god, no! I was such a shit. I didn't deserve her. I was a lousy boyfriend! Suddenly, I had to touch her… convince myself that she was still sitting in front of me. I reached out for her, and I saw the same thought in her expression. I leaned against the pillows, and she sat next to me, leaning against my chest and letting me hold her close.

"But you aren't Jeremy. Nick, you are so different from him. I scolded myself for even thinking of the two of you in the same breath! Unless it's thinking of how much better you are than him and how much sexier you are." She grinned up at me and pulled my earlobe into her mouth, making me moan. I ran my hand up the inside of her thigh, rewarded when she squirmed against me. "Jesus, Nick. No fair. I'm trying to be honest here."

"I know, baby. I just can't be this close to you without wanting you."

I blinked up at him. "We are so far gone!"

He just nodded at me, rolling me onto my back as his finger found my clit. Damn… did we just do this… oh… I felt my body responding as he hit my clit over and over. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to pass out and pushed him away, "Stop!"

He froze, a look of panic on his face. "Oh, bunny… no…" I tried to soothe him, kissing his chest and snuggling against him. "I just need real food before I pass out!"

"But…" he sputtered, motioning down at me and making me laugh. Boys could never understand how girls could just walk away from an orgasm, could they? They were so 'all or nothing,' but I needed food here! Way more important!

Well, not really. But otherwise I might pass out. Or get more overwrought, and we could not have that.

I ran my fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes at my touch. "We'll have time later, promise…"

"I need food, too, Rache," he admitted, before kissing me quickly.

But I didn't want him to kiss me quickly. I wanted long, lingering kisses and a whole week to make love to him. Screaming wild sex where we could yell and not care who was in the room next to us, then fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon.

Bliss.

But I didn't get that. I couldn't even imagine the next time we could get that… making love in my big bed at the Point and listening to the waves crash into the rocks below my window… Just thinking of it made my heart hurt.

Maybe we needed to get out of this room? Would that make this melancholy go away?

"Nicky…"

"Rachie…" he mimicked my tentative voice, and I had to laugh.

"Can we leave this room?"

He stared at me in horror, "Leave this room? Are you crazy? We can order room service, and then once we have our strength back…"

I stopped him, putting my hand over his mouth, "Remember your re-entry theory?"

"Rache, I'm dumb, don't listen to me!" he whined, and I had to laugh.

"No… it was a good one, bunny. I missed your sweet date the other day, and I really need a shower. Let's clean up and go down to the restaurant and have a real dinner, maybe with candles and everything?"

He considered me for a minute, and then his eyes widened, "Okay!"

What was that look? I had a feeling it was best not to ask, might be a nice surprise.

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