Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 20

By
The Paperbag Princess & The Pumpkin Coach

"Rachel!" Lola called as I found them all in the dining room. Mmmm… James had the eggs benedict. That looked good.

I sat down next to him and stole a piece of toast from his plate. He just handed me the jelly. I loved James. He knew me so well.

Not like Nick. Nick didn't know me at all… thinking he could just lie to me and I'd never find out he cheated? What a fucking prick!

I looked at James as our waitress came over, setting orange juice and coffee down in front of me. I hadn't ordered that…

"They know everything, Rache. It's like we're in some weird sci-fi movie."

I giggled, thanking the waitress and ordering the eggs benedict. I ate James' toast in 3 bites and gulped the orange juice just as quickly. Damn, that was good juice.

"Wow, the sex sure made you hungry, huh?" Darien teased, and I had to stop for a second. They didn't know… no. He was talking about Nick.

Yeah, the prick. I think I'd call him that from now on. Rhymed with Nick, easier to remember, too. Obviously he forgot my name all the fucking time. It was a wonder he never called out some other girl's name when he was fucking me.

I smiled at Darien. "Don't you know it. I came in last night and had the best massage in the world next to the jacuzzi on the roof."

"Last night?" Lola asked, looking up from her schedule book. "Did you not get my message?"

"What message?" I feigned ignorance, pouring more milk into my coffee and avoiding James' eyes. I didn't want to tell them all now. Maybe later. I had to tell James first, right? He'd be pissed if he didn't get first crack at the drama!

"I booked you on a later flight! We didn't need you for this morning's meeting. Oh, I'm so sorry. I left a message at Nick's hotel and on your voicemail."

I pulled out my phone, pretending to look at the display. "Nope, no messages. And Nick was so sweet...we moved rooms after I joined him yesterday. Had the penthouse and everything." I didn't mention that they told me my flight was changed when I checked in at the airport.

It was amazing how easy that lie was. Maybe Nick was rubbing off on me? We'd actually never made it to the penthouse. He'd only gotten it because he was feeling too guilty that he'd had sex with me in that bed where he'd fucked a groupie the night before! Prick!

Okay, leaving that part out. Yeah.

"La la la… meanwhile we had to go do stupid industry things," Jeremy grumbled.

James leaned over, whacking him, "You got lucky last night, so quit your bitchin'!"

"Oooh… who'd Jeremy score with?"

He just smiled, and they all looked at me. "What? Don't tell me that horrible ex… again?"

"Well, she was good the first time, had to see if it was a fluke."

"Oh stop!"

"Yeah, she's just gonna go run and tell Nick," James teased and I stuck out my tongue at him. Was not. I was never talking to the prick again.

Right, he didn't know that yet.

"Sorry, Rache. I really thought you'd get the message. I cheated you out of your time with Nick."

"That's okay," I shrugged it off and took another sip of my coffee and avoided James' eyes as I felt them burning a hole in my head. Stop it! I didn't want to think about it or talk about it.

Not that I could stop thinking about it, mind you…

"Hey," I answered, expecting Vinnie.

"Superstar!" Anna squealed instead. I hated it when she called me that. Which was certainly why she did. "I can't believe you answered the phone."

My lucky day. Anna was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. I wasn't in the mood to hear her complain about her latest boyfriend, or school, or whatever she was bitching about today. Last time I'd seen her, I had to suffer diatribes about her cheating ex-boyfriend. Shit. I really didn't need to be talking to her now, did I?

"Yeah, well, I'm expecting a call, so..."

"Oh, come on, Nick. Whoever it is can wait. I haven't talked to you in ages. Probably because you never return my calls. And you're hopeless at email. Didn't I tell you to stop sending me those stupid Internet hoax things? Or worse yet, those chain letters. Please, honey, how can you be such a newbie when you've been online as long as I have?"

Great. Today the object of her complaining was me. "Maybe I have better things to do than sit in front of my computer all day?"

But she just laughed. "Okay, maybe you're right. I'm a little obsessed with the Internet… see, save me from my boring life, talk to me for a minute. Who are you waiting to call?"

"Vinnie's supposed to call when he gets into the airport."

"Well, he can take a fucking cab."

Shit. Why did I say anything? I was lost now. No way was she letting me off the phone, not if it was gonna make Vinnie's life better. Anna still hadn't forgiven him for breaking up with her two years ago. Or was it three? I couldn't remember any longer. But it was better to not have Vinnie and Anna in the same room.

"What the hell is he doing visiting you, anyway?" Distracting me from my stupid life, that's what he was doing. He'd told me breaking up with Rachel was the best thing I ever did. He was the only one that understood. I'd called him late last night, and now he was on a plane. "Shouldn't he be in school?" Anna continued.

"It's Saturday, Anna."

"I know!" she snarled. "But some of us are studying on Saturday. I'm just taking a break and calling an old friend. So, if I was a slacker like Vincent, would you fly me out to visit you in… where the hell are you?"

"Chicago. I would never want to stand between you and your studies, Anna."

And I would never fly her out here, either. She never let me have any fun. Vinnie was already full of plans, telling me where the best clubs in Chicago were, the hottest girls and the best drugs. I needed that. It had been months since I did that, since long before I met Rachel. I was a fucking pop star. About time I started acting like one.

"Whatever. I'm just not going to encourage all your bad habits. Is my idiotic cousin coming, too?"

"No, he had something else to do."

"Nana's birthday. Good to know he's not blowing that off to go and party with you idiots."

Tony was essentially a good guy. I'd met him and Anna when their grandfather was a resident at the nursing home my parents ran. Their families came every Sunday… or was it Saturday? Whatever. I didn't even remember meeting them, really, just one day they were there and we were friends. Tony and I would get into trouble, and Anna would always try to talk us out of it.

Sorta like right now.

"Could you spare me the lecture, Anna? Haven't you been doing this for like 15 years?"

"Thirteen. We were eight. Boys never remember anything. Has your Rachel met Vinnie yet? I bet she doesn't like him any more than I do."

"You dated him for two years!"

"Because I was stupid!"

Would Rachel say that about me one day?

Maybe I should be glad we didn't have any of the same friends. Ex's made things very weird. Vinnie had moved to Tampa sometime when they were all in high school and I was in Europe, touring and touring and touring… I used to love talking to Anna and Tony on the phone and hearing about normal high school crap, and the cool new guy that had moved down from New York City. By the time I got back to the States, Anna and Vinnie had been an item, and I'd been pushed out of the threesome. That had bothered me more than it should have, since I never saw them, but… I was sixteen. I'd never been interested in Anna, but I'd missed being the Three Musketeers and the way my life was before Backstreet.

Now Anna was the odd one out, and she hated it. I never really knew Vinnie until after the break up. I was way too busy with Backstreet to make any new friends. But there was some party somewhere when I was on a break, and he and Tony and I had ended up getting really stoned and bonding.

Anna's ranting brought me back to the present. "You know exactly what's going to happen, Nick. You're going to drink too much and pick up some of those skanky girls that Vinnie is so fucking drawn to, and then what? What about Rachel?"

"There is no Rachel. She left me."

As much as I hated saying the words, they got the desired effect. Anna shut up.

"What?" she finally whispered. "What happened? What did you do?"

"Nothing! Why is everything always my fault, Anna? Why do you always call me and get like this?" It wasn't my fault. Not entirely. Rachel did plenty of things wrong, too.

I expected Anna to yell back, but her voice was quiet. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's just… I liked you with her."

"You never even met her, Anna."

"I know, I know… but… I liked the way you talked about her. I liked what I saw about her in the press. She seemed really sweet, and I know you loved her. Aw, honey, are you okay? What happened?"

"Nothing," I muttered around the lump in my throat. Girls. Why did they have to go and be so nice sometimes? I couldn't do this. Anna always did this to me. She made me get all sentimental.

"Recent, huh? Is that why Vinnie's coming?"

"Maybe."

She sighed. "I feel very sure he's not going to help. Nick, don't do this. Don't let him get you all pissed off at all women. I don't know what happened, but I bet it's fixable."

"Fucking doubtful, Anna." Really fucking doubtful. Especially because Rachel wouldn't even listen to anything I had to say.

"Isn't she worth it, Nick? I saw the way you looked when you talked about her, just a couple of months ago. Call her. Say you're sorry. Even if it was all her fault, say you're sorry. Send her flowers, do something. Don't just go off with Vinnie the asshole and get drunk and stupid and try to forget her."

Saved by the pounding at my door. Trying not to listen to Anna's sigh, I opened the door.

"Dude! Got an early flight! Let the celebration of freedom begin!"

"Bastard," Anna muttered in my ear. "You are so much better than this, Nick."

"Maybe not, Anna. I'll talk to you later." I had to laugh at the expression of horror on Vinnie's face when he heard Anna's name. That was what I needed...I needed to laugh and be stupid, not be all sad the way Anna wanted me to be. There were millions of girls out there who would do anything to be with me, so why should I spend all my time chasing the one who didn't?

"Right, Nick. Whatever. Bye."

She hung up before I could. Fuck her. Girls sucked.

"Are you okay?"

I composed my face before turning around to see James' concerned eyes. We had five minutes before we met with yet another video director. I didn't want to get into this.

"I'm fine."

He just looked at me for a minute, obviously not believing me. "Did yesterday help with Nick? Are things okay?"

"They're fine. I wish I had gotten Lola's message; I would have stayed longer."

"Why didn't you call me when you got in?"

I sighed. "I told you, I ended up getting a massage. I mentioned my neck was hurting, and suddenly the desk clerk had me booked for a poolside massage. How cool is that?"

"Pretty cool," James admitted, smiling. "They're treating us like rock stars here."

"Speaking of which, have you talked to your boy toy? Weren't you supposed to hook up?" That's good, Rachel, get James on another subject.

He gave me a giddy little grin, and suddenly my heart sank. James couldn't do this. Boybanders sucked. Especially closeted gay ones. JC would never be good enough for my James, and I could see that James was falling for him. "We all went to that movie premiere last night, and he was there."

"Was he?" I asked, trying to be chatty. James was a big boy. He knew this thing with JC couldn't last, right? He wouldn't be stupid like me and get his heart broken later. "What movie was it, anyway? Or were you too busy making out in the last row to notice?"

"As if. I was shocked his publicist let us have our picture taken together. I could tell she wasn't sure if it was cute publicity or a PR nightmare."

"See, darling, the world needs you to assure them that being gay isn't a PR nightmare."

He rolled his eyes. "Somehow, I don't think that's filtering back to the boy bands. We ended up going out after the movie, with Darien and Jeremy, and then Jeremy found the lovely Willa, and -"

Lola cut him off, dragging us over to our meeting room. "Gossip later. Work now."

We both scowled at her. She always ruined all our fun.

"Dawg, where're you going?" AJ yelled after me as I stormed off the stage in the middle of soundcheck. If I had to listen to Howie massacre 'Drowning' one more time, we were going to become a four-man group.

"Away from your lame asses!"

"Right. 'Cause party animal Vinnie is here. We're chopped liver now. First Rachel and now…"

I didn't even let him finish the sentence before I had him pinned against the wall. AJ was scrawny and short, and I could take him. But Carlos pulled me off before I had a chance to do any damage.

"Dude… some anger management might be in order. You know, at the Center they said..."

"What? What the hell did they say? That when your group is fuckin' treating you like a child and your girl leaves you for no reason you should just fuckin' meditate or some whacked new-age shit? No, thank you, Aje! I'll take a fifth of vodka, thanks."

"No reason?"

His voice was gentler now, and I just shrugged, "What the fuck ever, man! She just left. Didn't give me a chance to explain or anything."

"And how were you going to explain this one, Nick? Huh?"

Leave it to AJ to ask the tough questions. He'd said yesterday that he'd written the book, and I guess he had, but even so… I didn't want to hear about it. How wise and all-knowing AJ was. That was just bullshit. They all thought I was a child. They all thought I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I'd done well with Rachel! Not perfect… but she fell for me, not AJ.

Maybe that was it. Maybe AJ was just fucking jealous.

"I don't know. But she could have let me try. I don't even know what fuckin' happened with that girl, man. I don't think we even had sex."

"What do you mean?"

"I was too drunk. There wasn't a condom. You know…"

"Blacked out?"

I shrugged. Maybe. Probably. Man, I was drinking way too much. Next thing I knew I was gonna wake up holding my own liver.

Like AJ.

"Dude, that's not good. I know you don't want to hear it, but you gotta slow down, man. Seriously."

"I know. It's just…" I bit my lip and stared at a spot on the wall. I didn't want to have this conversation. I didn't want to think about anything or feel anything. Drinking made that happen. "It's fine, Aje. I just need to chill for a while. I'm not you."

"You're starting to look a little like me, though, bro."

"Nah, you're way too skinny," I tried to joke. To my surprise, he let me, smiling over at me. "Besides we're on the bus tonight. Can't get on much trouble there, can I?"

I hated everyone. I hated my band, and my management, and I especially hated video directors. Fuck, if I had known it was going to be this difficult, I would have dealt with the creepy sexist pornographer and just gotten this fucking over with already. Pink vinyl catsuit, what the fuck ever. It was just a stupid pop video.

If I hadn't had a fit of feminist outrage and screwed with our schedule, would Nick never have cheated on me? Changing our mind on Gregory Dark just screwed everything up last week, and I'd had even less time than normal. I'd known I was being a lousy girlfriend, missing dates and never returning his calls… no wonder he found someone else.

Sighing, I put my head on the table in front of me. One more meeting, right? Then we were free for the night. Maybe I could get another massage… that was really nice. For about ten minutes, I hadn't been obsessing on my stupid boyfriend.

Ex. Ex-boyfriend.

I had to blink back tears, trying to breathe around the lump in my throat. I didn't want Nick to be my ex. I hadn't said that yet. Hell, my boys didn't even know. There had been a couple of times when I'd almost said something to James, but… I couldn't. It was too raw, I didn't want to think about it, let alone find the words to explain to James that yet again, I had fucked something up.

"Rachel!"

I jumped, looking up to see James towering over me. He was so fucking tall. "What?" I snarled. I wasn't asleep. We weren't in the middle of something. I could rest for two fucking minutes, couldn't I? Why the hell was he looking at me with such attitude?

He started to say something, then looked around the room and thought better of it. Lola and Saffron were comparing notes over something, and Darien and Jeremy were playing a cutthroat game of Hangman. They loved to stump one another with ridiculous words.

So James dragged me out of my seat and down the hall, finally pulling me into an empty conference room. "What the fuck, James?"

He pulled out his cell phone and slammed it onto the table in front of us. "Guess who just called me, Rachel?"

I just shrugged. I didn't want to play this game. I didn't want to do anything.

"AJ fucking McLean."

Oh, shit. Shit shit shit. Meddling fucking sober bored AJ.

"He wanted to know how you were holding up, because evidently Nick is driving them all insane. And he's called you a couple of times, but thought maybe you wouldn't want to talk to him, so he called me to check up. Check up on what, I finally had to ask him."

Man, James hated being out of the loop. If there was one thing that drove him crazy, it was secrets. Especially when he thought I was keeping them.

"You broke up with him, Rachel? I knew something was wrong!"

I just glared at him, leaning against the wall. This was not AJ's to tell. It was mine. I'd planned on telling James when I was ready. Not now. Not yet.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to! Maybe I didn't want to have to deal with the fussing and the analyzing and beating it into the fucking ground. It's over."

He met my stare for a moment. "You got Lola's message, didn't you? That you didn't need to be here until this morning?"

"Yeah, and about five minutes later, I caught Nick with another girl. So excuse me if I thought my original flight reservation was good."

"Another girl? Fucking asshole. I should-"

I cut him off. "Yeah, you knew it all along. You always do. I have lousy fucking taste in men, and you just love to watch me fuck things up, don't you? Because you love the goddamn drama, and you are too scared to attempt a relationship of your own, so you let me do it for you."

"Oh, stop it," he tried. "You're just feeling sorry for yourself now."

"I feel a little more sorry for you, James. You're so fucking scared of a real man that you've fallen for the most closeted boy in the world. Talk about fucking drama. You can't even be seen in public with JC, or the rumors might start!"

"That's bullshit. I was just with him last night! There were photographers and everything."

"And Jeremy and Darien and a million publicists to chaperone. Yeah, that's fucking intimate."

"At least I wasn't fucking off my band responsibilities to do it. I didn't have to rearrange our fucking lives to jet off to soothe my boyfriend's hurt feelings because I was off doing my job last week and didn't have time to be on the phone with him for hours at a time. You just love making him jealous, don't you? It makes you feel so fucking needed and wanted and adored. Get some fucking self-esteem, Rachel, and stop playing games to become the center of constant fucking attention."

"Fuck off, James. No, really. Just stay out of my fucking life."

I whirled out of the room and straight into Lola. "Dude, there you are. Where's James? You two just disappeared."

"We're back," I said with a fake smile. "The next director guy here?"

"James!" she cried, seeing him behind me. "Yes, one more meeting and then you're free for the evening."

"Thank god," James sighed. "I could use a little alone time."

You and me both, dickhead. I hated everyone. I suffered through two more hours of meetings where I just glared at everyone and ignored James and then back to this stupid fucking room. I hated my room. Too much fucking brown and nothing on TV. It was 11 PM on a Saturday in LA, and what was I doing? Flipping channels in a hotel room. How fucking lame was I? Maybe I should get another massage…

No, bad idea. The last thing I needed now was more than one night with any guy, no matter how sweet. I was all about the cheap meaningless sex now.

So, I should go out. The boys would go with me. Well, Jeremy and Darien. Fuck James. He thought he had some right to know everything in my life. Well, this one I wanted to keep private. I had no obligation to tell him every detail of my love life. Nick and I were over, and that was all he needed to know.

Yeah, that was it. I'd call Darien and Jeremy, and we'd go hit some hot LA night clubs and be gorgeous and famous together. That would be fun, right?

My band sucked. Darien was already asleep, and Jeremy wasn't answering his room phone or cell phone. Jerk. What, was he with Willa again tonight?

What did any boy see in her? She was bleached blond and vapid and trampy. How did I end up with two boys that slept with that skank? What, was I just too much for them? They had to turn to her as relief from my overwhelming sex appeal?

All right, so Nick dated her before he even met me. But what was Jeremy's excuse? Where the hell was he? Why wasn't he answering his phone? Maybe he was at the hotel bar or something.

Good plan. I'd find Jeremy in the bar, and we'd hang out. That would be good. He wouldn't ask about Nick. Hell, he'd be perfectly happy to make me forget all about that prick…

Okay, bad idea, Rachel. Very, very bad idea. No Jeremy.

But the bar was still a good idea. I had to get out of this room or I'd scream. I found a silk shirt and pair of loose pants and put on some makeup before running out the door. A drink might calm my nerves.

The bar was crowded, but then it was a Saturday night. I glanced around the crowd, and finding none of my band, I took a seat at the end of the bar. I ordered a martini and then settled back, looking at the crowd. I was alone on a Saturday night. And I was a wanton… I was fucking hot. Someone might even recognize me, but even if they didn't, I was reasonably attractive.

"Excuse me, ma'am, the gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink."

I smiled at the bartender and then looked over to the other end of the bar. Brown hair, dark eyes… yeah, he'd do.

What had I told AJ earlier? Can't get into trouble on the bus. Fuck. Famous last words, right? Vinnie about died when I told him we had six hours on the bus. Vin was good at a lot of things, but amusing himself on my bus was not one of them. Video games and dirty movies only got you so far with Vinnie. Tony… now Tony and me would have been content to just blow things up from Chicago to Minneapolis, but not Vinnie. Vinnie liked to have a few women around. Like houseplants. He said they kept things interesting. Or made the air better. Wait, that was houseplants, wasn't it? Well, girls did smell better…

And this was interesting all right. Two girls and nearly everything the mini bar at the hotel had to offer… all transported to the bus. "Party on wheels," Vinnie had screamed as we made our way through the lobby. When? Three or four hours ago? Had we really been drinking ever since?

"No… no…" I was protesting but maybe no one could hear me? I tried again, "No!"

Nope. Voice definitely wasn't working right. Oh, hell… another shot wouldn't kill me. The busty blonde in front of me grabbed the back of my head, bringing my mouth down to the top of her breasts. I licked off the salt there and reached back for the shot from Vinnie. Hmmm… that was nice. I licked my lips, and she smiled at me as I slammed the shot.

Barbara? Betty? Belle… "Belle?"

She laughed and let go of my head. "You're drunk, Nicky. Rochelle!"

I hit my forehead with the palm of my hand, "Rochelle! Right… not a princess at all, are you, baby?" She looked at me questioningly and I just shook my head. "Don't worry, baby, it's all good."

"It could be better than good, Nick," she slurred into my ear, her breasts within licking distance again. Damn, they did taste pretty good….

Really? Better than good? I might have to see this. I didn't even bother looking for Vinnie; I knew he'd follow. He always followed. All the girls came to me. All the drugs and drinks… all I had to do was nod at the right person, and "poof" they appeared.

My life was kinda like a fairy tale, huh?

"Even got the fuckin' wicked witch."

"Whatcha sayin' there, Nicky-boy?" Vinnie laughed, slapping my back as I glared towards the bunks, remembering that Frank was back in one of them.

"Nothin'…" I turned to the girl. "Come on, honey… I'm tired."

"Time for bed?" Rochelle pouted up at me, and I just had to kiss those pouty lips. Pulling her body up against mine, I gave her a sloppy kiss as Geoff hit a bump and we both lurched forward. Shit. I might not be trusted to kiss her in a moving vehicle while I was this drunk. Rachel was right; you could get so drunk you couldn't feel your lips. Freaky. I'd have to tell her…

Oh, fuck. Rachel! I pushed the girl away from me, and she looked at me, stunned.

"Nick, what's wrong?" Vinnie's voice again in my ear, "She's not goin' anywhere… c'mon, man…"

Vinnie was here… not Rachel. No Rachel. Nope. My fairy princess was fine. We'd fool around a little, and I'd stop thinking about Rachel. Sounded like a plan.

I looked back at Vinnie, and he handed me a cigarette. What the fuck? I didn't smoke, and he knew that. Oh… right… it was one of those cigarettes. I looked around quickly, then remembered we were safe… just Geoff keeping his eyes on the road and Frank, who was pretending to sleep. What the fuck ever. I'd get a little drunk, a little stoned, and be just fine. I was in a contained space, right?

I took the joint from Vinnie and took a hit, handing it over to my princess.

Before I knew it, we were all stumbling into the back room. I looked back over, and my girl was pouting again. Damn, she had a sexy pout. She had full, red lips. Sexy, not all sweet like Rachel. I fell back on the bed and held out a hand to her. "Doncha think we've had enough to drink, babe?"

She shrugged and then joined me. Straddling my hips, she leaned down, letting her long, blonde hair fall around us. I giggled as she touched my stomach, but she ignored me, running her long nails up my stomach. I liked her nails. They were red, too, and left marks on my chest. Rachel didn't have long nails because you couldn't play guitar with them. I had to stop comparing this girl to Rachel! I leaned forward and kissed her, sucking on her tongue hungrily as she pinched my nipples.

"Like it rough, Nick?"

"Spank him and show him who's boss!" I heard Vinnie laughing from the general vicinity of the floor, and I moved away from my girl to see him.

"Get the fuck out, Vin. I don't need a fuckin' audience!"

"Since when?"

"Since… since…" Rachel. My head was spinning again, and I let it fall back against the mattress. Oh, that was nice. Closing my eyes, I let the darkness surround me, and it felt so peaceful.

"Don't fall asleep on me, Nick." I heard her voice in my ear again, and then something wet sliding across my chest. And slippery. And warm…I looked down and saw her little pink tongue circling my nipple. When did my shirt come off? "Like that?"

I just nodded, pulling at her shoulders so she'd come back up to me. I kissed her fully this time, forcing her mouth open and sucking hard on her tongue, "God, you're pretty," I sighed as we separated. "Did he leave yet?"

She giggled again and then got off my lap. "Strip."

What? Oh… me. Right. I tried to sit up but just ended up falling over. She looked even better from the side… towering over me like some blonde amazon. "Rochelle… my bell…" I sang as she started to strip in front of me. She smiled, and I giggled again. "Rochelllllleeeee… that's such a pretty name…"

Vinnie and his girl were moaning now. Well, at least he wasn't fucking watching anymore.

She joined me on the bed, pushing me onto my back and quickly stripping me of my pants. "You have a beautiful body," she sighed as she started nipping at my hips.

Oh, that was nice, "Lower…" I moaned as I felt her hot breath on my cock. "Oh, god…" She took me in her mouth so quickly that I cried out, unable to stop myself from bucking against her. I found her head with my hands and flipped us so I was kneeling over her. Holding onto her head I pushed myself into her mouth. Oh, god that was a sight: my cock disappearing into her mouth. "Use your teeth… just a little… mmm…" I moaned as she did what I told her, and before I knew it, I was coming.

She didn't protest, though. Her hands held onto my hips, her nails tickling my ass as I rode out my orgasm before collapsing on top of her.

Ooopps… I was gonna crush her, huh? I rolled off her, and she licked her lips, swallowing. Fuck that was always so hot. I loved it when Rachel…

Shit! There she was again. "No! Go the fuck away, I don't want you."

Rochelle sat up, startled. What? I didn't mean… "Oh baby, not you. I'm so fuckin' wasted!" I covered, grabbing a pillow from beside me and putting it under my head. "C'mere… I'm hungry…"

I motioned for her to join me, and she flashed me a sexy smile as she straddled my chest so her pussy was right there. Oh, she was wet. She wanted this. Wanted me. She probably didn't care who I'd slept with last night. She was just happy to have me now. And she should be. I was Nick fuckin' Carter. What woman wouldn't love to be with me? I was hot and rich and talented.

She moaned above me, leaning back to steady herself as I ran my finger between her lips, finding her clit and teasing it gently. Oh, I was talented all right. I held onto her thighs and she rose up, giving me better access as I licked her slowly. God, she had a pretty moan, too. Like she'd die if I stopped touching her… so I didn't. I tongue-fucked her little cunt, and she ground down on me. Oh, she liked this. I rubbed her clit hard as I shoved my tongue inside her and she screamed so loud I thought certainly Geoff my driver had heard all the way up front.

Yeah, who wouldn't want to be with me for a few minutes? I just rocked her fucking world. I let go of her thighs, and she fell onto the bed with a contented sigh. Vinnie and his girl were still going at it on the floor. I looked over to watch for a moment… oh yeah, he had her on her knees. He was breathing all heavy and shit. I threw a pillow at them. "Go to your bunk, dude… I'm tired!"

He grumbled something before they both groaned loudly. Okay, he must be done, too. I tried not to giggle as I felt the pillow land near me on the bed, and then heard the door to my back room close.

"C'mere, baby," I whispered as Rochelle snuggled up against me. She shivered slightly. "Cold?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine if you are, Nick."

But I threw the cover over us anyway. I was too tired to get up and find my clothes or hers. We'd deal with that in the morning. Right now it was cool just to have someone here… her soft hair against my chest as she drifted to sleep. Yeah, this was nice.

"James?" I whispered, half hoping he wouldn't wake up. But the bastard didn't even have the decency to be surprised. He just pulled back the covers, letting me crawl in beside him.

"Forgive me for being concerned, then?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me as I snuggled up against him. His chest was too skinny, not warm and welcoming like Nick's…

James' chest was great. I could sleep here.

"Shut up," I mumbled, and I felt him nod against me.

"Tonight's pick up kick you out?"

"It, uh, wasn't exactly the sort of sex where you cuddle afterwards," I admitted.

"Are you okay?" he worried, and I shrugged.

"It was what I wanted. I guess." I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore.

I wanted to stop thinking of Nick. Everything made me think of him. I'd compared nearly everything that guy did to how Nick would have done it, no matter how hard I tried to stop myself.

Nick wouldn't have done half of it at all. We never fucked simply for the sake of obliteration. It meant much more than that. Maybe. At least to me?

"Stop it, Rachel," James whispered. "I hate it when you pull away from me."

"I know." Because it was too much like when I'd fucked off to London to be with Damon. And then after Dad died, when I couldn't talk to anyone. James might hate it, but not half as much as I did. I just couldn't stop myself; it hurt too much to think about it, so I did stupid things to distract myself.

"Do you want to talk?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"No."

"Okay. Sleep. You need to sleep, sweetheart."

I nodded, yawning. "I love you, James."

"I know. Sleep now."

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