Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 21

By
The Paperbag Princess & The Pumpkin Coach

Page 7 | Page 8 | Page 9 | Page 10 | Page 11

I closed the door and leaned against it for a moment, shutting my eyes. This was the right thing to do. I knew it was. We were too fucked up, and I didn't have the time to fix it. The band had to be my first priority. It just had to be. Nick was not going to last forever, no matter what we did now, but the band could.

What if Nick could last forever? It had only been a few months, but I knew this was different than Jeremy or Damon. It was… deeper, somehow. I could see us growing old together. He would always be able to make me laugh. He would be such a good dad, someday.

Wiping away tears, I pushed myself away from the door. If it was meant to be forever, it would be. I hadn't said we could never speak again. Being friends would be fine. We did that for a while, and it was fun. Friends were good. We'd talk and email, and maybe when I got back from Europe and his tour was over, we'd try again.

But I wanted him now. I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him I was an idiot and I loved him and then his heart would stop breaking. Because I'd broken his fucking heart in the restaurant and then again out in the hallway when he'd asked to kiss me goodnight. He didn't have to say a word. I felt it. I could see it in his eyes.

That kiss… how could a kiss that small mean so much? I could feel all the things he hadn't done. He hadn't pulled me into his arms, he hadn't run his fingers through my hair, he hadn't…

Fuck me. He hadn't sent me flowers, did he? Let those be from the record company or something.

Okay, the roses were from the record company. But the pretty lilies and lavender and stuff were from him. And the chocolates. When had he done this?

The hotel probably owed him from fucking up my birthday. Maybe they did it on their own.

The hotel wouldn't know about the lavender. No, Nick had arranged the flowers and the chocolates.

I sank onto the couch, just looking at my flowers. He was so fucking good. He knew what I'd like, and he'd doneeverything he could for me. I didn't need diamonds and jewelry. He knew I'd like Hello Kitty crap just as much. Why was I telling him to go away?

Because he was too young and obsessed and he'd cheated on me once. Right.

Pulling myself off the couch, I went to change. Maybe a long bath would relax me, and I'd remember that I was right about this, and I'd be able to sleep.

Or, I'd find more fucking presents. Bath stuff, and lavender candles already lit. Was he hoping to be setting a mood here?

Did he find Powerpuff Girls pajamas sexy? I grinned, seeing them laid out on the bed. Shorts and a tank, decorated with Buttercup. They were adorable. I just had to put them on, and I sat on the bed for a second, smelling my candles and thinking of Nick and our night and…

"James?" Please be alone. Please.

"It's only midnight. Why are you calling me?"

"Are you alone?"

He sighed. "Yeah. I told JC I'd only be worried about you. Do we need to talk?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "Can I come over?"

"Of course."

James' room was better than mine. He didn't have flowers and candles. I took the chocolates with me.

I went into my room, but I didn't get far. I just slid down the door and sat there, staring into the darkness. I… she… I didn't know what else to do. This was all I had. I'd made the grand gesture. I'd given her presents. I'd told her I loved her and I was sorry for fucking up.

All that, and she'd still told me she wasn't interested. I'd just kissed her out in the hallway, and she'd stepped away with a sad little smile, saying that 'friends' thing again. She didn't fucking want me.

Friends. Right. Because that'd worked so well before. I didn't want to remember those first weeks when I'd known her, the way I was always thinking about her, wondering what I could do to make her want to be with me.

This was worse. Then I had hope. But now I'd given her everything I had, and it wasn't good enough. 'Friends' wouldn't work. I wanted more, and I knew how fucking amazing it could be to be with her, and I couldn't just forget that.

Maybe it would just be better to not have her in my life.

I gasped, pulling my legs up and resting my head on them. No, not that. This last week had been bad enough. I'd rather have a little bit of her than nothing. I needed to be able to hear her laugh and talk to her. I couldn't live without that. Friends would be enough.

Bullshit. It was nowhere near enough. What could I do to convince her that I was good enough to take back? What else was there? I could go with her to Europe. I could quit the band and just be with her. That was pretty big. She had to take me back then.

Or she'd think I was a freak, and I'd be breaking a contract, and I'd lose my money and my girl.

My phone rang, and I jumped, running to find it. Oh, please be Rachel. Where the fuck did I leave it? On the bed! "Hello?"

"You don't sound good, Nick."

Anna. I wiped tears from my eyes, trying to stop crying. "It didn't work, Anna."

"Oh, no," she whispered.

"I did everything! I came here, and I brought her presents, and I apologized a million times, and she still doesn't want me back. How can that be, Anna? I know I fucked up, but it was just once! I won't do it again. I won't!"

"I know you wouldn't, sweetie. What did she say? Did you get to talk to her?"

"We talked all fucking night. She told me she just wants to be friends. She says we're too fucked up, and it won't work, and maybe we should be friends."

"Well, she didn't tell you to fuck off. That's good."

"This is worse. I've done everything I could. At least if she said that, then I would know I could keep trying. But I'm fucking tried out now. She just doesn't want me back."

"I don't know if that's true. Tell me everything. I'll give you the girl's eye view."

I loved Anna. I really did.

"You told him what?"

I bent my head, poking through the chocolates. We'd eaten half of them already. I ate too much when I was upset. "I told him we should be friends."

"Oh, yeah, because that worked so fucking well at the beginning of the summer."

"What do you mean?" I knew exactly what James meant.

Ooh, caramel. These were good fucking chocolates.

"You two were totally crushed out and trying to act like friends. It didn't work then, and it's certainly not going to work now."

"But…" I couldn't finish my sentence. I couldn't never see Nick again. That would hurt too much.

"What are you going to do, Rachel, some night when you're talking and he tells you about the hot groupie he picked up the night before?"

Ow. I couldn't help looking up at James with a glare. That was low. "He wouldn't."

"He might. If you're just friends, what's to stop him from sleeping with other girls?"

"Nothing," I admitted. But he hadn't slept with other girls when we were friends before. Did he? He could have and just not told me about it.

"And then you'll go and find a cute boy, and before you know it, it's Jeremy all over again. Only without the sex with your boyfriend."

I glared at him for a second and then went back to examining the chocolates. I should have just taken a hot bath and eaten all the chocolates by myself. James was not making this easier.

"I thought you wanted me to break up with him," I muttered.

"I want you to be happy, Rache. And I think being friends with him is only going to make it worse."

"Then I should break it off completely?" God, just saying that made my heart ache. Nick had been so sweet tonight. He'd tried so hard. I couldn't just never see him again.

"You should do whatever makes you happy."

I fell over on the bed, moaning. "I don't know what that is."

James tossed the chocolates on the floor and lay down next to me. "Sure you do, sweetie."

Rolling over to stare at the ceiling, I wiped tears away. "I can't. I'll be happy tonight, and maybe tomorrow, but then there's the weeks when we're in Europe, and the Christmas tour, and…"

"And there's next week when we're off, and you can go on his tour for a couple of days, and maybe work on some of this."

I was quiet for a moment, contemplating the ceiling. "Why are you being so nice to him? You wanted to kill him just a few hours ago!"

"Yeah… but he tried awfully hard to win you back. And you were so excited to be going out with him tonight."

I had been. James was right. I'd been happy that Nick had come all this way to see me, and I'd been excited to go on a date with him. I'd loved that. It'd been terribly old-fashioned and sweet, the way Nick would open the doors for me and try to make the date special. Even though we'd had that horrible talk, it'd still beennice to sit in a romantic restaurant and eat good food and just be together. For moments tonight it was really good… like it had been before.

I was stupidly in love with him, wasn't I?

"I can't," I whispered. "I'm so fucking tired, James. It's just so… much."

James leaned over and kissed my forehead gently. "Okay. I know."

We just lay there for a minute, and then I got off the bed. "I need to get some sleep."

"Do you want to stay here?"

I shook my head, moving towards the door. "No. I have to cry."

"Alright," he said, hugging me at the door. "Cry. Sleep. You know where I am."

My room phone rang, and I looked over at it. What time was it? How long had Anna and I been on the phone? "What's that?" she asked.

"My room phone."

"It's Rachel," Anna said knowingly. "You should answer it."

Anna was always right. I had to remember that. Next time Vinnie or Tony were telling me to do something dumb, I had to remember to listen to Anna instead.

"Who are you talking to?" Rachel asked when I picked it up, and I was too startled to do anything but answer.

"Anna."

"Who's Anna?" she asked in a voice so jealous that my heart soared. Okay, that was lame. But at least she cared!

"My friend. The one that helped me find you today."

"Oh. I tried to call your cell, but I kept getting voicemail…"

"I'm right here, Rache. You don't have to call me."

She was quiet for a moment, and I could hear her breathing.

"Can I come over?" she finally whispered.

"Of course."

She just hung up, and I picked up my cell again. "She's coming over."

"I heard!" Anna yelled. "She is so caving."

I didn't want her to cave, not really. I wanted her to be happy to be with me. "We'll see. I'll call you later."

"You'd better!"

I hung up just as I heard a tentative knock on the door. When I opened it, I found Rachel there. She was dressed in the pajamas I'd gotten her today and had the concierge leave in her room - along with chocolates and roses and bath stuff. All stuff I thought I'd get to use with her because we'd come back here together and she'd love me again. Her curly hair was falling in her eyes, making her look little and lost, her eyes full of tears as she bit her lip, looking at me. "Who's Anna?"

"A friend of mine. I've told you about her before. We've been talking a lot the last couple of weeks."

Rachel glared, coming into the room and pacing as I shut the door. "I fucking hate being jealous, Nick. I hate it!"

"There's nothing to be jealous of, buttercup. Really. I've been talking to Anna about you. She gives me good advice."

"I know!" she yelled. "I know! But I was lying in bed and thinking about you, and I knew I hurt you tonight, and I wanted to make sure you were okay, and your phone was busy and I freaked out. I don't want to do that! I don't like that I want you to be lying here thinking of me. It's not fair to either of us. I don't know what to fucking do, Nick. Fuck, I shouldn't even be here."

She headed for the door, but I grabbed her arm, pushing her against the wall. "I know what to do."

He kissed me roughly, his tongue invading my mouth, and I melted into him. This was so fucking wrong. This wasn't what we needed. But it felt so fucking good. I loved it when he was aggressive with me, when he trapped me against the wall and held me there with his hips against mine so I could feel how hard he was. He moved away to breathe, looking down at me lustfully, and I found my voice. "Let me go, Nick. This isn't what we need."

"Bullshit, Rache. This is exactly what we need."

I started to say something, and he kissed me again, his hand slipping up under my clothes, cupping my breast and teasing the nipple with his thumb. "You want this, baby. You know you do. Your way doesn't work."

"But…" I sighed. That didn't sound convincing, even to me. Especially because I couldn't think of a good reason to finish the sentence, as his lips traveled my throat.

"Shut up," he breathed against my skin, making me shudder. "We talked all fucking night. Now I'm going to show you how much I love you."

Is that what this was? Love?

It sure was fucking something. He fell to his knees in front of me, pulling off my shorts and underwear in the same motion. Even in the dark, he found the tattoo on my ankle and sucked on it, and I clutched at the wall to remain standing. Fuck. I'd thought about that when I got it done, how it would feel to have Nick's tongue trace the outline…

He kissed his way up my leg, his tongue hot and wet against my skin, his teeth nipping at me lightly, making me whimper at every touch. No one else could make me this hot, this quickly. It had been about three minutes since I walked into this room, and I was desperate for him to fuck me.

Or he could do that… he licked my clit carefully, and I heard myself cry out. "Tell me how much you want it, Rache," he whispered, his warm breath against my pussy. "I've been dreaming of the way you taste for days now. You're so fucking sweet." His lips closed around my clit, sucking it like a piece of candy, and I grabbed onto his hair, sliding down the wall.

He grabbed my hips, stopping me. "Stay right there. You like it standing up, it makes you dizzy. Hold on." Pulling one of my legs over his shoulder, he bent his head again, his tongue invading me, and I shrieked. Fuck, that felt good. It was like I hadn't had sex in months, not just a few days. The other guys had been nothing compared to this. Nick knew exactly what to do to make me come. I fucking loved standing up when he kneeled in front of me fully clothed, it was so fucking decadent. I remembered after the VMAs, when he'd peeled those pants off of me and then sucked me off, how hot that'd been.

Now I was half clothed in Powerpuff Girl pajamas. Not precisely the wanton sex goddess now. I let go of him for a second to yank my shirt off and he looked up at me questioningly. "Don't fucking stop now," I commanded. "I just needed to lose the cartoon characters."

He ran his tongue over the tattoo on my stomach, and I moaned again. "I'm gonna make you come here," he promised. "Then I'm gonna turn you around and fuck you until you scream. I'm not stopping."

I wanted to make some snappy retort, but his lips found my clit again, and all I could do was groan. Did he do this to the other girls? Did Darla, Daphne, Danielle, whatever her name was, get to feel these lips against her, his goatee tickling her thigh as he moaned inside her?

He moved his hands, securing me against the wall again, and I forced myself to stop thinking. Just feel, Rachel. He was right. We'd talked enough tonight. This was better. He tilted my hips up, his hands cupping my ass, then his thumb slid inside me. "Fuck," I whimpered. "Yes, Nick. Please."

He increased the pressure of his mouth, sliding his other thumb inside me, and I came with a cry. Fuck, it was so easy with him. Two minutes and I was his plaything. He kept licking me until I begged him to stop, and he moved away, looking up at me with a wicked grin. "What did I promise?"

I slid down the wall as he helped me move my leg off his shoulder. "You're gonna fuck me until I scream." I kissed him, tasting myself on him. "Just let me catch my breath."

I loved her like this, glowing and disheveled from sex. This Rachel was all mine, the noises she made and the way she tasted and smelled…

Well, probably not all mine. She had surely been with other men this week. But she hadn't looked at them like this, had she? I knew she loved me when she looked at me like this, all unguarded and open and real. This had to just be for me. "I love you," she whispered, and I kissed her again.

"I love you," I sighed, cupping her face in my hands before bending to her lips again. Mine. Just mine. I wasn't letting her go again. Talking didn't work, but fucking did.

"Fuck me," she said, biting my ear. "You promised."

"And I'm not breaking any more promises," I assured her, pulling her back as she tried to move towards the bed. "No, right here."

Smiling, she pulled away and fell against the bed, her knees still on the floor. "Can we compromise?"

That worked. Yeah. I leaned over, tracing the tattoo on the small of her back with my tongue and making her shudder. I loved fucking her from behind, pushing against her pretty ass and holding onto her hips. That was what I wanted now, to fuck her hard and fast until both of us were begging for more.

"Please, Nick," she whimpered. "I need you to fuck me. I need more."

Hell, I had her begging already. I rolled onto my feet, ripping off my clothes as I searched for a condom. I might have forgotten to pack her birthday presents, but I knew I had condoms here somewhere. In seconds, I was beside her again, kneeling behind her and wrapping myself around her. "God, I love the way your skin feels against mine," she breathed, and I kissed her shoulder, biting her lightly to hear her moan. I didn't want to move away from her long enough to roll on the condom, but I forced myself to do so, and she groaned as I left her.

Finally, I moved her knees back so that she was open to me as I kneeled behind her and thrust inside her fully, and she cried out my name. "Fuck, Rache, you are so wet," I bit out, trying to control myself. If I didn't, this was going to be over in seconds.

"You feel so fucking good, Nick. No one else-"

I managed to find her mouth to put my hand over it. "Don't talk about anyone else," I hissed, slamming into her again, and feeling her moan against my hand. "There is no one else."

She shrugged away from my hand and managed to raise her hips higher, so that I could move deeper inside her. "You're right. No one else. Because you are… so… fucking… amazing."

That was better. The angle, the sentiment, all of it. Just us. No other girls, no other guys, just us. She was mine, damnit.

He pounded inside me roughly, and I couldn't even think. All I could feel was his cock inside me, his hands gripping my hips, the way he groaned on every thrust something that sounded rather like 'mine.'

Fine. Yes. I was his. As long as we kept doing this, I was whatever he wanted me to be. He leaned over me, biting my shoulder and running his hands over my body, pinching my nipples, caressing my stomach, finally sliding in between my legs and finding my clit. I gasped as he pinched it, breathing my name. "Come, Rache. I'm so fucking close."

So I did, and as he heard me scream, he moved, kneeling up to thrust into me harder, faster, prolonging my orgasm as his started.

I wanted to see his face, but he was behind me, lost in his own world, and my heart shattered.

We were still for a second, then he pulled out of me with a loud groan and collapsed on the bed. "Come here," he commanded, but I couldn't move. What had we just done? I'd told myself I wasn't going to fall into bed with him, and …

Well, it wasn't even the fucking bed, was it? It was sex on the goddamn floor. All the tears and fighting and accusations and I got sex on the fucking floor? Sex he could have and probably did have with any willing fucking groupie? I was supposed to be the woman he loved.

"Rache?" he finally asked, looking down at me, and I stood up, swaying for a second. Shit, that was worse that standing up after a couple of drinks.

"Your way doesn't work, Nick."

He raised an eyebrow at me, that cocky expression that I normally loved on his face. Right now I just wanted to hit him. "Bullshit. I counted at least two times it worked just fine."

I found my clothes, pulling them on. "I'm not doing this. I can't believe I let myself do this! Sex does not solve everything!"

"Don't run away, Rachel."

"I'm not running! I'm leaving. There's a difference."

I reached for the doorknob, but he was there in front of me. "You're not walking away from me again. No fucking way."

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