Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 23

By
The Paperbag Princess & The Pumpkin Coach

"So… what are you wearing, Rache?"

"We don't have time for that!" she laughed, and I pouted at the phone.

"What's the point of getting you the fancy new camera phone if you can't take a picture for me, baby?" I teased, and I could just see her blushing.

"I haven't figured it out yet. Besides, I'd probably have to have James take it for all of me to show up. Otherwise you'd just get my foot or something."

"You have a very sexy foot, Rache."

Did she whimper at that? Damn. I knew she'd be busy and we'd have a hard time talking, but this was ridiculous. Last night she'd actually fallen asleep, and I had to yell into the phone to wake her up.

I heard a door close on her end, and then her voice was low, "I have very sexy everything, Nickolas. Don't you forget that."

"Never." Was she alone now? Cool. Frank had said something about a meeting soon, but they could wait. "Did you find a broom closet, baby?"

"Dressing room. I think I might have a whole five minutes before Lola or Saffron find me."

She sighed, and I felt bad for her. I remembered what it was like, to be pulled in a million directions and having to talk to everyone who wanted to meet you. We still had to do it… but not like her.

"So what are you wearing, then?"

She laughed, and I could practically feel her with me when I closed my eyes, "Kate gave me this amazing black shirt that's practically see-through. I promised her I'd wear it on stage or at least for pictures. It's dressier than I usually wear though… and my leather pants of course. I have to keep up the sex goddess image, you know."

No, she didn't! She should wear old sweat pants and a dirty T-shirt. No one else needed to be lusting after my girlfriend!

"See through? To what?"

I could feel her smiling. "Bunny, we don't have time…"

"Come on… to get me through the afternoon. Just one image, Rache."

"Use your imagination," she flirted at me through the phone. "I will tell you that James and I begged off for twenty minutes yesterday to go to M&S."

"M and what… oh! The department store. You got new undies, then," I guessed, and she murmured her agreement. "Sexy ones?"

"Very. They're all lacy - black - and they have little pink bows on the sides…"

"Do they untie?"

"Uh-huh… just one tug and they'd fall right off me, Nicky. Just one…" Her breath caught in her throat, and I felt my dick harden in my jeans. "Tug," she finished, her voice low and sexy. Shit, I loved just listening to her. I could practically see her silky smooth legs parting as her new lingerie fell away, leaving her open to me.

"Damn, Rache. Matching bra?"

"No."

"No?" What the hell? They were going on stage in like half an hour. Was she not dressed yet?

"You heard me. Kate says I can't wear one. And the panties have such a cute one, too… a pink bow in the middle that unties. But the top has a little silky camisole and she made me swear not to wear a bra. Nipples are in this season, you know."

"Rachel!"

He sounded so indignant, but I stifled my laugh, not wanting to ruin the mood I was creating.

"Awww, honey, you know you like to look at my nipples as they poke through my shirt. And I get so turned on while I'm up there. Everyone will be watching me. Oh, and I bet the guitar strap will touch the right one. Just every so often. And I won't expect it. Mmmm… that'll feel nice, Nick. Rough and soft all at once…"

He groaned on the other end of the phone, and I moaned just imagining him getting all worked up in his hotel room. I'd go in a minute, and he'd have to jerk off. God, I loved watching him touch himself…

"Rache," he breathed, but I could tell he was more excited than mad. "You aren't serious?"

"Don't be so upset, bunny. No one will see anything. Well, I hope not. Hmm… that'd make the papers, huh? Oops! I hear Lola, I gotta go, bunny. Wish me luck!"

"Wear a bra!" he yelled, making me laugh.

"I love you, Nicky."

He said it back, and I had about 10 seconds to catch my breath before opening the door. Better to head Lola off at the pass.

I needed another 5 minutes to prepare. I knew Em and Alex were coming tonight, but according to Saffron, half of London was trying to get tickets from the record company. I didn't even care if Damon came at this point. I was in way too good a mood to care about silly old Damon. Damon who didn't love me like Nick did!

I smiled down at the bracelet Nick had given me the night we'd gotten back together. I knew I couldn't wear it on stage, but it was so pretty, just a simple silver bangle with a knot that looked like a heart. He must have slipped it into my suitcase because I didn't remember packing it. But now I didn't want to take it off. It was so simple… I don't know. It reminded me of how difficult love was, I guess. It was like a knot, but sometimes it was okay to be all tied up.

Damn, I was starting to think like him, wasn't I?

I rounded the corner and nearly walked right into Jeremy.

"Oops!"

"Hey, Diva Princess. Twenty minutes. Have you heard this opening band they got for us?"

I shook my head. I'd been too busy talking to Nick to listen to the opening band. We didn't get Tsar while we were here in England. Instead, we had a few acts that were leapfrogging with us. Tonight was some girl group… Pixie Stix or Lollipops or something like that. I listened for a second. Not bad. I should probably go watch them, huh?

"Bubblegum pop. I can't believe you haven't broken out in hives, J!" I teased, and he just laughed. Jeremy had been in a pretty good mood today. I think he liked being in England and away from all the pressure back home. Who would have thought a few months ago that we'd be annoyed at popularity, huh?

"There you are! You two - to the dressing room! Pictures! Interview… do you people never read your itineraries? I don't even know why I bother…" Lola didn't even say hello, just launched into telling us what do, her voice trailing off as she raced past us down the hall.

I looked at Jeremy and he laughed. "Why did we want to keep her again?"

"Because she keeps us in line?"

He shrugged, and we followed Lola back to our dressing rooms. Darien was already there posing for some photographer.

"Don't wait for us, D! Hogging all the film!"

The photographer turned at the sound of my voice and immediately started snapping my picture, "Stoppit!" I screamed, putting my hands over my face, "At least let me put on some lipstick!"

Everyone laughed, and I ducked into my private dressing room and nearly ran into James. What was it with me and barreling into band members today?

"There you are! We're in the other room, and Darien's hogging all the film. I think it's Q or something… I don't know, I'm losing the plot." I grabbed my lipstick and ducked down to the mirror.

"Rache…" I barely heard him as I stuck my tongue out at my reflection in the mirror. This would have to do.

I looked up, and our eyes met through the mirror. Oh my god. Was this my James? His face was swollen from crying, his eyes red and his nose even redder.

"Oh my god, James! What happened!?" I slammed the dressing room door and then went to him, letting him pull me into his arms. His breathing was heavy and he was shaking.

Shit. This wasn't my James. James never cried. I think in our entire lives, I'd seen him cry like 3 times. When my dad died, when Michael had finally left him and… I couldn't think of a third. There had to be a third, didn't there?

I felt his breathing steady a little, and I looked up at him, "Baby, what's wrong? Please, James…"

The corners of his mouth went up as if he was about to smile, and then he fell onto the couch behind him, letting me go. "I can't go out there tonight."

"What? What the fuck happened, James! If JC…"

He shook his head, glaring at me, "It's not him!" Oh… was JC not important enough to cry over? Could have fucking fooled me, James. "It's… god, am I really fifteen again?"

What the hell… oh fuck. I sat next to him, trying my best not to burst out laughing. James was upset because Simon and Nick from Duran Duran were coming tonight? Em told me that she'd invited Nick a while ago, but I hadn't thought anything else of it until last night when we were with her. She'd asked Lola to add him and Simon to the guest list, and I'd thought James was going to choke on his own tongue.

"Oh, baby… stop. It'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say… You're the fucking wanton sex goddess. It girl. Everyone loves you!" He sneered that, and I nearly hit him, but then I remembered that he was upset.

I should probably be supportive, huh? I went with teasing instead. Much easier.

"Stop moping and get dressed, you dork."

"Don't…" Damn, I knew that look. James didn't get them very often, but I did. I looked around for the first time since coming into the room and noticed that clothes and shoes were everywhere.

"Clothes fuck?"

"Times twelve . I can't go out there if Nick Rhodes is watching, Rache! I just… I can't!"

"James… honey, we play in front of famous people all the time…"

His look stopped me cold. Okay, no one else mattered when your idol was going to be standing in front of you, judging every note you played, huh?

"I know. Shit! I don't have words of wisdom here, baby. Want me to see if Lola has anything to calm you?"

He did smile at that, and I would have bet money that he was remembering the same thing I was. The first time James and I ever got stoned had been while listening to "Secret Oktober" on repeat in his bedroom. All the lights were out and his parents were… somewhere… probably some boring convention. They went to those all the time. James had been alone, and I'd smuggled some pot from Jon and brought over a bottle of wine. I remember feeling so sick afterwards that we'd both sworn we'd never do that again. For weeks, whenever I smelled wine I'd thought I'd throw up!

"No… I just… he's really going to be out there, isn't he, Rache?"

"Yeah. But he loves us, James. Em promised me he does! Just think, maybe Nick Rhodes will hear something he likes and he'll rip us off on the next Duran album!"

Finally, I got James to laugh, and in a few minutes we were coming up with what our songs would sound like if Nick had a chance to produce them. Or overproduce them, more like it.

"Are we good now, baby?"

James smiled at me, and I pulled him into a quick hug. Letting me go, he leaned back, considering me. "What did the fabulous Kate Sutton tell you, Rachel?"

I tried to pretend great interest in fixing my hair, avoiding James.

"Rachel?"

I huffed, turning back to him. "I can't do it, James! Too many people!"

"But you looked amazing in that shirt yesterday!"

I shook my head, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. "I don't look great in it now? Even I have to admit that I'm fucking hot!"

He laughed at me. "She's going to kill you, you know."

"Whatever. She can try to play a guitar without wearing a bra. It fuckin' hurts!"

"Nick, I'm hungry!" Anna flopped down on the bed behind me and whined as I refreshed the page. "There will be pictures of your amazing girlfriend when we get back from dinner."

"Just 10 more minutes. Their show should be over, and someone is going to come back and post pictures."

"Within an hour of the show being over?"

I turned in my chair and stared at her, "Duh! They do it for us all the freaking time!"

"Well, your fans are obsessive little girls with no lives!"

I flew out of my chair and grabbed her before she could move away, pinning her on the bed and tickling her, "Take it back! No dissing the fans! Kevin will beat you up…"

"I'm not afraid of Kevin!" She giggled as she tried to squirm away from me, but I wouldn't let her go.

"Really? I seem to remember a certain friend of mine who gets all tongue-tied around him. Hmmm… must be Tony. Think Tony's secretly gay?"

"You wish! Ooh… maybe that's why you have Tony out with you all the time. It's not so you can pick up chicks, it's because you're secretly IN LOVE with him!"

I let her go at that one. "Ewwww! Tony? Damn, give me more credit than that!"

She laughed, and I rolled off the bed, hitting the refresh button on my browser again. Suddenly there was a whole page of pictures and I turned around, sticking my tongue out at Anna. Hell, it wasn't often that I got to be right around Anna! She was the smart one. "See? And she's wearing a bra!"

I nearly screamed it, and Anna just stared at me, "What the fuck, Nick? Does the amazing Rachel usually let it all hang out?" As soon as she said it, she crossed her arms over her chest, "Ow… don't tell me that she does. That would hurt with the guitar strap!"

"It would?"

She gave me a "duh" look, and I grabbed my phone. She'd lied to me earlier, hadn't she? The little tease! I ignored Anna's whining as Rachel's voicemail clicked on.

"Hey babe. Just saw pictures from tonight's show… see you chickened out! You wimp!" I cracked myself up, and I had to stop for a second, "Sorry… but you did look hot, babe. I'll have to thank Kate for that shirt. How quickly do you think I can pop the buttons, or did you have her reinforce them for you?"

Anna groaned, covering her face with a pillow from the bed, and I swatted at her. Brat! No one asked her to stay here while I talked to my girlfriend.

"Ummm… I'm going out to dinner now. Anna's here, and she's hungry. Call me if you get a second. You know our schedule. Meet and greet at seven and we're on at nine. Love you, baby."

I giggled to myself as I listened to Nick's message. He was so cute. I couldn't believe he'd really thought I was going to play a show in front of a few thousand people without wearing a bra. My mom would kill me! I'd gotten into a lot of things, but exhibitionism had never been one of them.

Looking around the bar, I spotted James in the corner talking to Matthew, Kate's assistant. Fuck. Did that mean that she was here? Em hadn't told me she was coming. Oh hell, so what if she was mad. She could stand on stage in front of a few thousand people and have a guitar strap rub her nipples raw!

I turned to get the bartender's attention, and suddenly Damon was in front of me, leaning against the bar. What the hell? I just looked at him for a moment, and then motioned to the bartender to get me another drink.

"Excellent show, Rachel. Really… you've come a long way in two years. Light year's difference from those opening gigs you did with us."

Startled at his compliment, I just stared at him for a second. "Well, we're tighter now than we ever have been, I think. And it's fun again. A couple years ago… well, it wasn't fun."

"Yeah, it was weird seeing you actually getting along with Jeremy. So you're friends?"

"Yes," I shrugged. "Having him back in the band is a good thing. We work well together now that we aren't a couple and… I've never had a writing partner that I clicked with so well."

Damon winced, and I immediately started to apologize. I hadn't really meant that as a dig against him. Damon and I had written together all the time, but it was different. "Long Island" was great. It 'd come easily and it… worked. But then I'd found myself acquiescing to his ideas and not sticking up for my own. Writing with Damon had been sort of like being lectured at in college. He was the one who knew everything, and if I'd just pay attention, I might be half as good as him one day.

Fuck that. I was a good writer. And Jeremy and I together were fucking great.

"Having our own audience is a good thing, too. Opening sucks." He laughed at that and handed me my drink from the bartender, and we clinked glasses for fun.

"To the tabloids," Damon said as a toast, and I laughed.

"Any publicity is good publicity, right?" He smiled at me, but I shook my head. "I'm really sorry, Damon. I had no idea…"

He shook his head. "It happens. There have been pictures of me in the tabs when I was just out taking my daughter for a walk. This was actually newsworthy.

I smiled, then we were quiet for a moment, and Damon reached out, running his finger down my arm lightly and making me shiver. "Rachel..." His deep voice seemed to envelop me, even in this crowd of people. That'd always been the thing I loved most about Damon. His voice. I could still feel the tingle that ran down my spine when he'd whisper in my ear. He had a little bit of a lisp, and he whistled a little on his 's's and it made my knees weak. "What're you doing? Dating this little boy?"

I took another sip of my drink, sensing that he wasn't just teasing like he had been yesterday at Em's. "He's only five years younger than me. Which is the same difference between you and me, so what's the big deal?"

"He's a fucking Backstreet Boy!"

I just blinked at him. "So?"

"How can you do that? How can you throw your lot in with the manufactured pop music? You make great music, Rachel, and…"

I interrupted him. "I haven't stopped making great music, Damon. I'm still touring the same album and singing the same songs. We got Em to make us a video, and it's getting some play. I've spent years being an indie snob, and it got me nowhere but into a stupid relationship with some British guy who decided a baby was more important that me." He started to say something, and I went on, ignoring him. "Know why I'm with him, Damon? Because he adores me. I couldn't resist him… he threw himself at me. He makes me laugh, he tells me my band is awesome, and he listens when I talk. You never did anything but tell me what I was doing wrong."

He shook his head. "I didn't. I love your band. I love you. I'm fucking miserable, Rachel."

Indeed he looked it, standing in front of me, drunk and disheveled. What had happened between yesterday and today? Yesterday he'd been fine. Happy and nearly glowing, watching Missy as she played with Lexa. I took another drink and considered him. "Damon, don't stand there and tell me you want me back."

He turned those blue eyes to me. "Rachel, I want you back."

Nothing.

I felt like dancing. Nothing. Even his most pathetic look raised nothing but pity in my heart.

"Yesterday I told you that I didn't know how I could have both you and Missy, but I think I could. I want to. Seeing you here… I just remember so much. We were good together...you remember the bad things, but it wasn't all bad, Rache."

"No," I tried to not let him see my hands shaking, "It wasn't all bad, Damon. But it wasn't good, either. You lied to me. I mean, you let me move here and never mentioned Missy…"

"I didn't know!"

Oh, damn. How many times had we had this argument? More times than I could count! This is how it'd started. He hadn't known, not at first. Suzi was pregnant and hadn't told him. It wasn't until Missy's birth that he'd found out. Right after I'd moved to London. We hadn't been exclusive, so I couldn't be mad that he'd slept with another woman. But I didn't realize I was stepping into his ready-made family, either.

"Damon… I don't want to have this fight again. I'm flattered, really. But I'm not interested. I'd love it if we could be friends. But you have an amazing daughter, and I know you and Suzi can make this work…"

He turned his head, and I reached out for him before I could stop myself, touching his cheek so he'd look back at me. Grabbing my hand, he kissed my fingers. "No?"

"No. I'm sorry, but I love Nick. It's crazy and doesn't make sense half the time, but it's real." I gave him a quick hug and looked over his shoulder, catching Jeremy watching us. His fists were clenched at his sides and I pulled back quickly. "Look, I have to make the rounds, or the boys will hurt me."

He pulled away and nodded. "Yeah, well…"

I couldn't watch him sit here, rejected, so I interrupted him. "Thanks for coming, Damon."

I walked away quickly, grabbing Em by the sleeve and pulling her into the ladies room, telling her she had to get Alex to take Damon home.

"Is he drunk?" she sighed.

"Drunk enough that he hit on me," I confessed, and she squealed.

"He didn't!"

"He did!" I squealed back. I had to get the squealing out of the way before I called Nick. I shouldn't sound this happy when I was talking to him. I hated that rejected look on Damon's face, because I could care about him a little. But another part of me was really happy to know that he still wanted me.

"Oh, I'll get Alex to get the dirt on the drive home. I bet he's fighting with Suzi." I pouted at her, and she smiled. "And you're the wanton sex goddess, of course. But Suzi has a bit of a problem with you, so I know those pictures yesterday made her crazy…"

"Suzi doesn't like me?" I hated the woman, so who was I to talk? But she's the one that got Damon and baby in the end, so what was her problem with me?

Em shook her head. "Sorry. No. I mean… you left Damon. It's not like he chose her over you."

"He would have, though."

She shrugged. "Maybe. Who knows? But every time your name is mentioned, she gets a little weird. So I imagine they're fighting today. I was surprised he came alone. I figured either she'd come with him or he wouldn't come at all."

I knew Damon better than that. He never did anything anyone told him, let alone his girlfriend.

Man, I was glad I wasn't in the middle of that any longer.

"Well, take him home, okay?"

Em nodded, hugging me. "I should get home to the baby anyway. I'll see you again in a couple of days, in Bournemouth."

"An embarrassment of riches," I told her with a smile, and we walked out of the ladies room together. I watched as she found Alex, and they went over to Damon at the bar.

Then I found Lola talking to Darien and someone who looked vaguely familiar. I didn't care, though. I didn't need to make any new friends. I had all the friends I could handle, thank you very much.

"I need my phone," I held out my hand, and Lola started to protest. "Give me a fucking break! I can take a ten minute break without killing our ability to hit in the UK!" Well… Em and I had been gossiping for a few minutes. Screw it.

Darien laughed, and I smiled at him as Lola handed me the phone and said, "Fifteen minutes."

Whatever. I needed to talk to Nick. My voicemail beeped at me, and I listened to a new message from him, laughing as he teased me about the whole bra thing again. Would I ever hear the end of this? And more to the point, would he be laughing in a few minutes?

I knew I had to tell him, though. Anna was there, so it would be okay. Right? She'd talk him down if he got all jealous.

His phone only rang three times before I heard his voice, "Rachel!"

"Nicky…" I ducked into the ladies room and fell into a chair in the lounge, trying to ignore the girls in the corner who were staring at me with wide eyes. One of them pointed, and her friend slapped her hand. "Just a second, babe."

"Hi, I'm Rachel and you are…?" Better to head this off at the pass. I needed 5 minutes alone in this room, and they'd hang until I gave them an autograph or something. Or, there'd be a blind item about a 'hot young American pop star fighting on the phone with her even more famous boyfriend' in tomorrow's papers, just like there had been today. Had Nick seen that one?

"Helen." The one who had been pointing held out her hand to me, "I'm a huge fan. It was a great show! Oh my god, you are right here!"

Her friend sighed, and I smiled at her, "Did she drag you here?"

She shrugged, and I laughed, "It's okay. Look, ladies, I need like five minutes for a phone call, think you can manage to watch the door for me? Not let anyone in?"

Helen immediately nodded, and her friend smiled, obviously excited to be sharing a secret with me, "Sure!"

They left, and I fell into the chair again, "Sorry, Nick."

"What was that?"

"Oh, there's no fucking privacy anywhere in this country! We're at the aftershow now, and I can't go outside because there's press. So I got a couple fans to watch the door to the ladies room for me. It's very posh in here…"

"Really? Is there a big couch for you to spread out on?"

I laughed. "Not enough time. Besides, aren't you going on soon?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "I have to be in wardrobe in a minute. Anna and I just got back from dinner. I made her wait until someone posted pictures of you at the show, though. You were right, that shirt was fucking hot!"

I giggled. "You are so good for my ego, bunny. Know what else is good for my ego?"

"No, what?"

"Damon telling me he wants me back."

I started to laugh, and then what she'd said hit me. What the hell? Damon! I thought she'd said she wasn't seeing him again?

"He wants you back? When did he say that? I thought you weren't seeing him again!"

"I wasn't. Well, I didn't think so…" she stammered, and I reminded myself to count to 10 before I put my hand through the door. "But he came tonight and just cornered me at the bar. He was a wreck, Nick. I don't know what happened, but he was drunk and telling me about how he wanted me back. That he wanted both me and Missy."

"Just great…" I murmured. Fucking British asshole. He was there, and I was halfway around the fucking world. He could give Rachel credibility, and all I gave her was bad press. Well, not that being in the English tabloids was good press, I guess. "What did you say?"

She took a deep breath, "I wanted to call and tell you right away, Nick. Because I didn't want you freaking out and being all jealous."

What the hell? "You wanted to call and break up with me over the fucking phone? Do you need my permission, Rache?"

I was so angry that I felt tears behind my eyes. Shit!

"NO!" she screamed at me, and my heart stopped, "No, bunny. Fuck. Nick, calm down. I'm telling you this because I stood in front of him and told him that I was in love with you. That you adored me and I loved you. Not him. God, not him."

Not him? Really? "But you like the baby, Rache…"

She laughed in my ear, and I realized how stupid that sounded. Of course she wasn't picking him. I might have cheated on her once, but I wasn't dumb enough to get another woman pregnant, lie to her about it and then expect her to play mommy.

"Okay, that was dumb, Rache. Of course you don't. And you called me so I wouldn't freak out and here I am… freaking out. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, bunny. I don't think I can keep the doors barricaded for much longer, though. I just needed to tell you. I love you, Nick and I miss you."

"Me, too, buttercup. How was your show?"

"It sucked. We messed up the Duran song we did, and James and I were just mortified. He completely freaked out that Nick Rhodes was coming before the show and I had to talk him down from the ledge… maybe tomorrow will be better."

"I'm sorry, baby. I know this show was a big one for you. I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"Well, it felt bad…" We were quiet for a moment, and then I heard noise on her end. "Look, bunny. I have to go. You have a good show, and I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, Rache. Love you!" I did. This was good, right? She called to tell me that something happened with Damon, and I only freaked out a little bit. We were getting better, weren't we?

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