Oreos for Breakfast: Nick BSB Fiction

Oreos for Breakfast - Chapter 23

By
The Paperbag Princess & The Pumpkin Coach

"22, right?" James asked, looking at a piece of paper in his hand and then over to me. "Is this it?"

Em had emailed us the address and directions to her house, but I'd been there so many times I didn't need them. But it had been more than a year, she insisted, and sent them anyway. She was good like that.

"This is it," I told James, and he opened the gate that led up to the house. Like a proper rock star abode, it was set back from the street. But, because it was a London house, it had a very small front garden, even if it was a coveted corner lot set slightly apart from the row homes on the rest of the street. They'd gotten a new front door since I'd been there last. This one had a big stained glass window at the top. The door alone probably cost my entire last royalty check.

"Are you coming?" James asked, a few steps away from me, and I had to shake my head.

The last time I'd walked up this path had been the day my father died. I'd run out of Damon's house and ended up here after an hour of walking through London. I'd lost that hour. I still wasn't entirely sure how I'd gotten from Damon's to Em's or how it'd taken me that long when it was only a ten minute walk. But I remembered her flying out the old front door as soon as she saw me, her arms open and her face full of sorrow and sympathy.

Lexa had been just a couple of weeks old then, and now she was a toddler with her mother's eyes and a mop of her father's dark hair. She stayed inside the door as Em came out onto the porch. Em's arms were open again, but her face was full of joy this time.

"James! Rachel! You made it! Where are the others?"

"Sleeping, because they're idiots," James informed her, holding out a hand to me. He knew. He always knew. I'd told him that I'd gone to Em's that day after I left Damon, and now he'd figured out why I didn't want to go into that house.

I'd had to get over everything else that reminded me of that day, because it was all part of my life: planes and JFK airport, my car that James had taken me home to my fractured family in. But London was still stuck in that time warp. London was still about getting the phone call, and I hadn't been back yet, so I hadn't dealt with it.

But now I had no choice. Em was one of my best friends, and her house and family were amazing. I couldn't avoid it forever.

Damon's house I could avoid, not that he lived there now… Em had let it slip shortly after I left that he'd bought a larger house for himself, Suzi and the baby. At the time, I remembered it'd made me angry, but it was just one more thing to add to the hurt and anger I'd felt then.

"Who's that?" I heard Lexa's loud whisper from Em's side, and I smiled over at her.

"You don't remember me, Lexa?"

She frowned, looking at me very seriously, and shook her head as if she was trying to place my voice.

"You remember, sweetie," Em's voice was full of laughter as James and I stepped up onto the porch, and she grabbed my free hand. I looked down and squeezed James' hand, trying to tell him silently that I was going to be okay. "When we saw Grandma and Grandpa in Cincinnati?"

"You were with Nick!"

All the adults laughed, and Lexa pouted at us before turning and running away. She didn't get very far, though, as she ran into Alex's legs and he scooped her up in one quick movement. "Where are you going, peanut?"

"Not a peanut!" she pouted again. "I'm an almond!"

James and I cracked up as Alex rolled his eyes.

"I think you're a filbert today, baby," Em told her, and Alex smiled at me.

"The women in my life are nuts. Literally."

"Filbert's not a nut!" Lexa protested, and Em chuckled at her.

"A filbert nut. It's two words. Almond doesn't end in 'nut,' either."

Lexa considered for a moment, then nodded seriously. How old was this kid? 18 months? I knew none of my nieces had talked like this at 18 months. Billy was two, and he wasn't speaking this clearly.

Em caught my look and laughed. "She's a freak. She speaks French, too."

"Oui!" Lexa chirped, and I smiled at her.

"Can you teach me French, Lex? James and I are going to Paris soon, and I don't know any French."

Giggling, she hid her face in Alex's shoulder, and I looked at Em.

"She hasn't had her nap yet, because she wanted to stay up to see you."

Kids were so funny. Always afraid the adults were off having tea parties while they slept or something. "Before you even reminded her who I was?"

Em shrugged, leading us towards the kitchen. I loved Em's kitchen. It had a huge oak table and comfortable chairs. I'd had countless cups of tea in this kitchen. I'd sat at this table and just held a tiny Lexa the day my dad died, as Em and Alex swirled around me, making the arrangements to get me back home. "She does and she doesn't. She remembers Aunt Rachel who sends her cool American presents and silly emails. She remembers Nick because Kate mentions him, if only to tease Alex that she's going to turn Lexa into a pop music groupie. She just doesn't remember faces very well."

I nodded. That made sense. "Yeah, I remember when Katie was first born and I was still in school. I forced James to go home every weekend because I was convinced she was never going to remember me if I didn't see her every week."

"As if! You were so gonna be the favorite aunt anyway, Rache. Hands down," James interjected.

"Well, I was the only aunt then!" Wow. I hadn't thought about that time in a while. There was a time before Sarah had been part of our family and Patrick had settled down. It was weird to think of my brothers as anything but fathers sometimes. "By the time Billy came along…"

James cut me off. "You'd figured out that the starving pseudo-rock star couldn't afford to buy every child's love?"

Alex laughed. "Yeah, our families haven't figured that they can't buy her love yet. So let's not tell them. Saves us having to buy out the toy store!"

"Toys?" Lexa suddenly clued in to our conversation, making me giggle. I had toys for her, didn't I? I rummaged through my bag and produced a shiny silver present. It was a little crushed from being in my suitcase during the flight, but she wouldn't care.

"I have something for you, Lexa."

"Toys!" she screamed, wiggling out of Alex's arms and running over to me, forgetting that she didn't remember me and should be shy. I shared a smile with Em as Lexa held out her hands for the bag. "Pretty!"

"There's something inside…"

She looked up at me, her pretty gray eyes wide with amazement as if to say, "there's something inside, too?" Like it was the most amazing present ever, just the packaging.

Girls were so easy. Give them something pink or glittery, and they were done. Now Billy was proving to be more of a challenge. What the hell was I going to bring him back from London? What did 3-year-old boys like? Trains? Was he too old for Telletubbies now?

Oh, hell, I'd obsess about that later. Lexa was jumping up and down as she pulled her present out of the bag. "WINGS!"

"Just like a fairy princess," James offered, and we all laughed.

"You would know," I shot under my breath, and he hit the back of my head. "Ow! No beating me up!!!"

Lexa found her second present in the bag, a sparkly wand with a star on the end. She hit James with it for hurting me before either of her parents could grab the wand from her. "My guardian angel!" I cooed, leaning over and taking her wings out the plastic wrapping and helping her put them on.

"Look, Daddy! I'm a fairy princess!"

"You always were, darling." Alex laughed, giving me the thumbs up sign as Lexa twirled around the kitchen.

"When should we tell her that the wand makes noises, too?" I whispered to Em, and her eyes got wide.

"Oh, not until she starts crying about something, I think. You'll learn this, Rachel. Always have something in reserve."

And just like that, it was as if the last year had never happened. We sat in the kitchen and had tea, laughing as Lexa played with her wand and turned everything in the kitchen into imaginary toads or stars or moon rocks. She was an odd one, our Lexa. Occasionally, we got to talk about grown up things, too, like where we were going to be over the next week or so and how many photo shoots we could actually cram into one 24-hour period.

"Oh, watch that Saffron!" Em warned. "She looks all nice and sweet, but she's a slave driver. All managers are! She'll have you booked from sunrise to sunset if you let her."

"Tell me about it," James groaned. "But Rachel can stand up to her. She likes Rachel."

"Oh, she likes you too!" I argued, taking another chocolate biscuit from the plate in the middle of the table. I truly missed the biscuits. We didn't have anything like them in the States. "She's just scared that I'll cry or something."

"Turn her into stone, is more like it. You should have seen Rachel turn into a diva, Em. You would have been proud."

"I learned from the master," I laughed as Alex came back into the room and handed Em the phone.

"Susan. She insisted that she talk to you."

"Speak of the devil," Em whispered, covering the phone with her hand before hurrying into the other room to talk to her manager.

James yawned, and I patted his knee. "Tea not enough caffeine for you, babe?"

"I think I need to stretch my legs and get some air."

"We have a great back garden," Alex offered, leading us outside.

I'd nearly forgotten about the back garden. It opened into a larger common garden behind the houses, but Em and Alex never really used that. Theirs was enough, littered with Lexa's toys now, but still full of lush green vines and pretty flowers. It was lined on all three sides by a tall iron fence that was covered with ivy to keep out nosy neighbors and photographers. Em and Alex were exceedingly proud of the fact that there had only been a few unauthorized pictures of Lexa in the press, and most of those had been when she was out with the nanny or Alex's sister.

"Okay, I get it," James sighed as he looked around once we were alone.

"Get what?" I asked, sitting down on the stone bench on the side wall.

"Em and Alex. This place. Why you loved London so much."

I just stared at the flowers for a moment, remembering sitting out here in the garden with Em and Alex and Damon. Em had been about eight months pregnant and Alex had waited on her hand and foot, so proud that he was about to be a dad and nearly bursting with love for her. Damon had joined me on this bench and wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck and breathing me in. "I want that, too," he'd sighed, barely talking loud enough for me to hear. I had felt a tear slip down my cheek as his hands came to rest on my stomach. "With you, Rachel."

I closed my eyes, letting myself feel it all again. Then I felt James behind me, and I leaned back against him.

"It wasn't all a mistake, Rache. I was so angry with you then, so sometimes I just pretend it was all just a massive disaster, but there were good things here. You moved here for a reason."

"Yeah, I did," I admitted. "I pretend it's all a disaster, too, but now I'm here, and I remember the good stuff… You know, Damon loved me. He just needed to love Missy more, that's all. I couldn't compete with that. And now I have my band back, and who knows…"

"And Nick, too." James offered and I shook my head.

"No. I mean, yes. But… no. I need to have something that's mine. You know?"

James smiled and hugged me tightly. "Yeah, I do. Although Jeremy might disagree that the band is 'yours'."

We laughed, and I shook my head, trying to clear out those cobwebs of memories that kept getting stuck in there. Then I looked back at the house and nearly screamed.

A little girl came running out of the house. She was several months older than Lexa with pale skin and light hair that hung in waves down her back. She was giggling but stopped suddenly as she saw us sitting front of her.

"Who are you?" she questioned in a perfect posh accent. I knew those eyes, green with a hint of blue. And, damnit, if I didn't know that nose. Her hair had been darker when she was little, but I knew that face.

"Missy!" Damon's voice came from the house, and I felt my heart stop as he appeared in the doorway. I think his did, too. His face went white as he locked eyes with me.

Oh shit! I didn't want to do this now! I wasn't even in London for a day and I had to do this? Now? I know I'd just said I'd be okay… but… damnit! Hadn't I told Nick I wasn't going to see Damon? Why the hell was he standing in front of me?

Another memory came back to me before I could stop it. Damon standing in front of me, sneering as he took a drag on his cigarette and finished his drink, and my heart beating loudly in my chest as I'd scanned the room for Nick or Frank or James. Anyone who could save me from having to hear him continue to go on about how shit MTV was and how horrible all the video music award winners were. "You must be so proud to be heralded as the newly crowned queen of mediocre music, Rache," he'd slurred.

I should have hit him then. At least said something. But I hadn't found my voice then. Instead I'd just shrugged and taken a huge gulp of my drink, wishing to God that vodka really did give you courage.

"Rachel…" His voice was soft as he stood in the middle of the garden, but I could hear him. Feel that soft, deep voice against my skin... I felt James' arm tighten around me, and I moved away. No. I could do this. I had to do this.

I smiled at Missy as she looked up at her dad and then over at me again. "Do you know her, Daddy?"

I held out a hand, tearing my eyes from Damon's to look at this adorable child that had stolen his heart. "Hello there. I'm Rachel. You must be Missy. You look an awful lot like your daddy, don't you?"

She just nodded, looking up at me with wide eyes. I felt Damon kneel down next to us, reaching out for her protectively. I smiled over at him, willing the tears away. "She's absolutely beautiful, Damon."

"Thanks," was all he said, as he pulled her into his arms.

I'd only ever seen Missy once really, and she'd been too small then to look like much of anything. She'd just looked like a baby. I'd seen pictures, of course. Em always had them, and sometimes she'd show me. But seeing Missy here in front of me, she was the spitting image of him, his eyes, his cute little nose.

She clung to him tightly as he stood up. "I didn't know… I mean, Alex didn't say you were coming by today. Of course, I knew you were coming to London. Who doesn't?"

"They love mediocre music here, don't they?" I mumbled, trying to steady my breathing.

"Look, Rache… about that. I'm really. Shit."

"Daddy!" Missy exclaimed, holding her hand over his mouth, "That's a 5p word! Mummy says so!"

I heard James laugh behind me, and I grinned at Missy. "Only 5p? It should be a bit more than that." She just looked at me curiously and I smiled. "Did Daddy let you dress yourself today?"

She nodded, not sure whether she should speak to me or not. She was dressed like only 2-year-old girls could be - a yellow dress and pink rain boots accessorized with a fuzzy hat and red sweater because it was chilly.

Damon rolled his eyes. "No use fighting with a two-year-old."

"Missy! Missy's here!" We heard Lexa yelling and then she appeared, running out from the house. "Missy, Missy, Missy!"

Missy toppled out of Damon's arms to hug her friend, and Damon and I both reached to save her. She landed on her feet, as children always do, running over to Lexa. The girls began talking immediately, and Damon and I glanced at each other, then back at them. "They just saw each other yesterday," he muttered, and I had to laugh. "Do you and Em do this?"

"Always, darling," I teased. "We jump up and down and everything."

He shared a smile with me, and I was surprised to feel my heart soar. He had such a lovely smile. I'd rarely seen it those last few weeks we were together, and that's what I always remembered about him. I guess it was too painful to remember the good times. There'd been a time when we'd loved each other.

"Come to London," Damon's excited voice met me before I'd even finished saying hello. I settled back on my pillows, letting his deep voice envelop me, my bed in New York feeling so empty without him.

"What?" It'd only been a couple of weeks since he'd left, and soon it'd be Christmas. Christmas at the Point was amazing, especially now that we had children in the family. Everything was about seeing Katie and Colleen's faces as they opened presents. Allie was too young, but that wouldn't stop Mom and Dad from getting her a million things that were shiny and would make her giggle and smile.

"Come to London. I miss you already. After the holidays? London is great in the winter. Well, it rains, but you'll make it better. Please?"

Oh shit, I was going to go, wasn't I? I hated to admit it, but I spent all my time thinking of him. Trying to write without Jeremy in the band wasn't working. James and I just ended up fighting and pouting on opposite sides of the room. I took a deep breath. "I don't know…"

"Please, Rache. I miss you. I love you. Come to London."

"But we're supposed to be writing…"

"Have you finished one song this month?" Damon challenged, and I bit my lip, considering the wall in front of me. I could hear James moving around in the kitchen, banging pots and pans just to annoy me because he knew I was on the phone.

"No… But I can't just fuck off to London."

"Take a break. It doesn't have to be forever. I'd come there…"

But he couldn't. I knew that. They had a real record contract with real deadlines and a European tour to plan. I could be mobile. And I spent every night pining for him anyway, right?

Lexa pulled Missy over to us. "This is Rachel and James. They're Mummy's friends. Rachel got me wings, see?" She twirled around, showing off her wings as if we could miss them. "And a wand… where's my wand? C'mon, James," she insisted, taking his hand. "Come inside. Now Missy will turn you into a frog!"

Lexa had burst into fits of giggles when James turned into a frog for her earlier. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Why don't you bring the wand out here, Lex? Frogs like outside best, ya know."

Smiling, I pushed him towards the house. "But it's chilly, and Lexa doesn't have a lovely hat like Missy's. Take them inside, James. I'll be right there."

James gave me a questioning look as Lexa dragged him towards the house, and I waved him off. This would be fine. Damon and I needed to talk.

The door shut behind James and the girls and the silence was deafening for a moment.

"I would have brought wings for Missy, too, if I had known she was coming over."

"We… I…" He shrugged, sitting down on the bench that James had just vacated. "I needed to talk to Alex, and we were out on a walk. I should have thought that you'd be visiting."

"Why?"

"Because you and Em are friends. And the whole world knows that Sudden Silence was entering the country this morning." He looked over at me, his green eyes locking on mine, and I had to look away.

"Do they?" I couldn't hide my smile. Saffron had told us that England would welcome us with open arms. But so far all I'd seen was Heathrow, a limo, and our hotel. James and I had taken the tube here, and we hadn't been mobbed or anything. No one had even looked at us funny.

"Oh, you're probably being stalked by paparazzi as we speak," Damon said, rolling his eyes.

"Doubtful."

We were quiet for a minute, and then he sighed. "Thank you. For being polite to Missy."

I looked over at him, but he was staring intently at a patch of dead grass in the middle of the garden. "What do you mean?"

"I know you don't like her, but…"

I cut him off. "I hated the idea of her, Damon. Not her. Why would I do that? I'm not evil."

"I know," he said, and our eyes met. The world stopped for a second, reminding me how well I knew this man. I'd shared his bed and his house and his whole life for a little while. A lot of things between us had been bad, but not everything. Not all of it.

His eyes softened, and he smiled at me a bit. "I know. I'm sorry. I…"

I interrupted. "It was easier to think that I was evil, wasn't it?" He tried to deny it and I shook my head. "You should hear some of the things I've said about you."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Really? Well, that's easier. But it's not fair. I shouldn't have been worried about what you'd do when you saw Missy."

"Were you?" He just nodded at me, and I had to look away. What did he think I would do? Be mean to an innocent child?

What would he say if I told him I'd had an abortion and the baby was his?

We probably weren't ready to go there. We might never be.

"I'd never… I'd just never, Damon. None of what happened between us was her fault. She's beautiful, and I know what you most wanted in the world was to be a daddy. I'm sorry I wasn't ready for that."

"Don't be. I mean… I wish…" He turned his head, studying me for a long moment. "We weren't well-suited, were we?"

What a British phrase. He was being so polite, choosing his words carefully, his voice calm and bit sad as he looked at me. If Nick was describing his relationship with Willa, he'd say 'it sucked, dude.' Damon used 'not well-suited'. Was he a freak or just English?

"I suppose," I agreed, meeting his gaze. Was it that bad for him, being with me? I complained about him bitterly now, but I never considered much that he might feel the same way about me. Of course he had. I wasn't the only unhappy one.

"In some things we were very good, Rachel. But the timing was all off, wasn't it? I know I fucked it up, getting another woman pregnant… but I wouldn't trade my daughter for the world. When you came over… I really thought I could have you both. I wanted it to work. I've spent the last year and a half being a father, and you've conquered the world. We couldn't have done those things together."

I could only nod at him. He was right. What else could I say?

"There's only one thing I truly regret," he told me softly, and I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what it could be. I wasn't sure that I had any. Maybe not leaving sooner. If I'd been home, would I have stayed late at the vineyard that night, doing the books instead of Dad? My heart stopped beating for a moment as the thought occurred to me. It always did when I thought about it.

"I so regret how it happened. I never got to tell you how sorry I was about your father. He was a wonderful man, and I know how much you loved him. I want to see every second of Missy's life, be there for all the highs and lows and the grandchildren, and… shit. Sorry."

Looking away from him, I brushed away my tears, and then I felt his arms around me. "I understand the other side of it now," he whispered. "And I know how much you must miss him."

I just nodded, and he kissed my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Rachel. It was a horrible time for you, and I didn't make it any easier."

"You couldn't have," I admitted. "No one could." Taking a deep breath, I pulled away, turning around to smile at him. "Thank you for saying that, though."

"I've always wanted to say or do… something. I knew you didn't want to see me after it all happened. I'm glad we ran into one another. Well, again…" He stumbled, obviously remembering the VMAs. "I guess I should just keep apologizing, huh? I was a shit in New York."

I had to smile at that but waved him away. "You were stoned, and I know how you get. You know my single's about you, right?" I tacked on, trying to change the topic. I didn't want to keep thinking about my dad and that horrible time here.

He curled his lip at me. "I suspected as much."

"I won't tell the press. But you can remember that when you hear it on every radio in the country."

"Revenge is sweet?" he questioned, and I had to laugh.

"Sometimes, yes."

He stood up and held out a hand to me. "We should go inside, and save Em the trouble of looking out the window every thirty seconds."

"Is she?" I wondered, looking towards the house, where I caught a flash of dark hair moving away from the kitchen window.

"Yes, let's go in, so that I can tease you properly about your new boyfriend. Now, do your nieces like Backstreet or those other ones? I get them all confused."

I took his hand, standing up from the bench and moving towards the house. "Backstreet. They lost their ever livin' minds the first time I brought him home. He's way cooler than that British indie rocker I used to date."

"They knew 'Song Two'. I made sure of that!" he argued, and I had to laugh.

"They know every word of every Backstreet song," I countered, holding open the door for him. "Before I ever brought him home."

"No accounting for taste, love," Alex informed me, shutting the door after us.

I just stuck my tongue out at him and retreated to the safety of Em's kitchen. Her eyes met mine, and we had a silent conversation where she apologized for not heading Damon off at the pass and I told her in a nod that it had to happen sooner or later. Okay, seeing him when I wasn't shaky and jet-lagged might have been better.

Lexa and Missy ran around us, making it nearly impossible for Damon and I to have an actual conversation, and that was okay. Lexa turned James into a frog and then Missy grabbed the wand and turned him into a monkey. I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks as James made different animal noises, running around after them.

James was so good with kids. He had this goofy side to his personality that I usually discounted. Nick would do this with the kids, too. He was good with them - especially little girls. I remembered watching him at the Point, as he made all of Katie and Colleen's friends laugh and hang on his every word.

It was barely 24 hours ago, but seemed so far away. Suddenly I had to talk to him. Just hear his voice for a moment. It was after 3 p.m. here, so it wasn't even 9 a.m. on the West coast, right? Fuck it. Voicemail was better than nothing. I'd left him a message when we landed, too. I had a feeling the next couple weeks were going to be an elaborate game of phone tag.

I slipped into Em's study as everyone laughed at something Lexa said and James shot me a look. I just shook my head and closed the door. Two minutes, and maybe I'd be able to take a deep breath again.

Voicemail, as I suspected…

"Hi bunny! It's me, and I'm at Em's. The boys are sleeping, but James and I came over to see Em and give Lexa her presents. She loves them. What girl doesn't want to be a fairy princess? She keeps turning James into frogs and stuff. He's so good with her. Watching him, I keep remembering you playing with Allie yesterday when we were picking grapes. It just seems like a moment ago and forever at the same time. Well… that's all. I love you, Nick. And I miss you already. Call me when you wake up. We have the record company thing tonight, but I'll try to keep the phone on. Love you."

I made sappy kissing noises into the phone, just because I knew that'd crack him up and leaned back against the door, trying to catch my breath.

I did love him. More than I'd loved Damon, right? Damon was something else. He'd been about moving past Jeremy and finding my independence. I'd been Damon's rebound from Justine. I could see that now. We weren't meant to last. But Nick and I? Were we 'well-suited'? There were times I thought so, like during the past couple days when we'd been just us… hanging out with my family and being normal. What would it be like to be with his family next month?

A knock behind my head made me jump, and I moved away from the door, opening it.

"You okay?" Em's concerned face stared back at me.

I nodded, holding up the phone. "I just needed to say 'hi'."

She laughed, joining me in the study. "Should I send Damon home? I think he just doesn't want to be the one to run away."

"Nah. I'm okay. It's just… a lot. This house and then seeing him. I didn't expect it, that's all."

"The house?" she queried, and I shrugged. I hadn't shared that bit with Em, had I?

"I haven't been here since my dad died."

"Oh. Oh!" she said, her expressive eyes suddenly sad. "Oh, Rachel, I hadn't even considered that. I should have met you at the hotel. How careless of me."

"Stop it!" I said, smiling. "I can't stay away from this house forever. Besides, then I wouldn't have been able to have Alex's amazing lunch." He'd burned the bread, but other than that, it was delicious. Alex sometimes got very distracted by things other than cooking. This time it had been a discussion with James about space exploration or something.

Em returned my smile. "My distractible husband. Gotta love 'im. Oh, speaking of distractible, when Susan called, she said Kate was asking about you and wanted me to see if you'd come to her studio."

I narrowed my eyes at Em. "Kate? The woman who barely spoke to me when I was living here?"

She shrugged, "That's just Kate. Don't take it personally. She adores Nick, and if he adores you… well, she's got to check you out."

"Oh, that's great. I'll be running right over. As if Jane wasn't scary enough!"

"Jane?"

"Nick's mom. I didn't tell you about shopping with Mrs. Carter?"

Em shook her head, and the next thing I knew she was ushering me out the door to the car, not allowing me to have a long, drawn out goodbye with Damon. That was probably better, right? It's like we'd ripped the band aid off and now we could move past it. He'd been gracious, wishing James and me good luck at the show tomorrow and kissing my cheek like the polite Englishman he could be.

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