Oreos for Breakfast: Chapter 27

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 27
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

"Rachel…"

I sat straight up in bed, looking around. That was my father's voice. His sweet, loving voice, the one I'd heard so many times.

Then I heard laughter, Mom and Nick, and I fell back against the pillows. Mom must have found my stash of home movies. I'd thought I had them well hidden. Not just from Nick, but from myself. I always knew that seeing them again would send me over the edge. I'd been dangling pretty close to it just looking at the photo albums the other night.

What was Nick doing awake? It was only ten. We had loads of time to lie in bed together! I pulled his pillow against my chest, breathing in the scent of him.

I was so glad he was here. He should have been with his family, but I was so glad he was with me. Last Christmas had been awful. I needed new memories, so I wouldn't keep missing Dad so much. Dad loved Christmas. He loved our party and cooking for it and all the presents and the music.

I could hear the rumble of his voice from the TV downstairs, not the words, just the sound of it. I hadn't heard that since… since the night he died, talking to him on the phone. I hadn't watched our home movies in years. None of us could stomach them last Christmas, our traditional time to pull them out and embarrass one another. No wonder I felt so shaken right now.

How did Mom do it? He was my father, but he was her husband, her best friend and her lover. If I lost Nick… even after nearly 30 years together, I couldn't imagine that would be long enough.

I felt tears in my eyes and blinked them back. It was Christmas Eve, one of the best days of the year in my family. Nick was here with me. He was going to get to be part of it all for the first time. I should not be miserable.

They laughed again, and I leapt out of bed, pulling on my pajamas and brushing my teeth quickly. I needed to be with them. When I'd lost Dad, I'd just lost one person that loved me, not all of them.

I didn't even realize she was there until I heard a tiny sob, and I turned to find her. She was standing there across the room, staring at the TV, covering her mouth with one hand. "Oh, sweetie," her mother crooned, and Rachel flew across the room, jumping onto the couch between her mom and me.

"I heard his voice..." she whispered, wrapping her arms around her mom.

"I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put them in until I warned you." She smiled at me over Rachel's head. "It's all Nick's fault. He could not wait to see you in your stage debut."

But I hadn't known Rachel would be so sad! I'd had no idea the home movies would upset her so much. But she smiled a little when she turned her head to look at me, still safely in her mother's arms.

"Yeah, he's just been waiting for an opportunity to embarrass me. His whole childhood is a matter of public record."

"Rache, I…" I tried to apologize, but she shook her head.

"I'm fine, bunny. A little freaked out, but I'll be okay." Her eyes glanced at the TV, and she groaned. "Oh, good Lord, Mother, are you showing him the entire performance?"

"Of course, darling," Kate laughed.

Rachel kicked me, and I caught her foot, just wanting to touch her for a moment. Her eyes met mine and she relaxed, holding out a hand to me, and I captured it, interlacing my fingers with hers. "I am so making your mom show me 'Phantom of the Opera' next time I'm there. Who the hell does 'Phantom of the Opera' in the fourth grade?"

"Incredibly talented kids," I teased. "'Annie' is so overdone." She scowled at me, and then looked back at the screen. It was just the beginning of the show. This was probably okay, right? The stuff that had upset her was her dad, before the show, helping her get ready and teasing her about her red hair.

She was so cute. Her curls were red, but that little girl on the screen was still Rachel; her eyes had the same sparkle in them. Her smile was a little more innocent but still hers.

And her dad loved her. I knew he did. It was obvious every time she talked about him, but seeing them interact, even all those years ago, was different. If he were alive, maybe it would just be normal dad stuff, but knowing he was gone made it bittersweet. No wonder she was upset.

I suddenly remembered how Kevin had been when we filmed the "Show Me the Meaning" video, sitting in that room as the home movies of his dad played over and over on the wall. I hadn't really gotten it at the time, but now I felt like I understood what the might have been like for him.

Had she watched any of this stuff since he died? Kevin had told me once that he hadn't. It was too painful. But when we got the treatment for the video, he just went with it. Maybe it was his way of tricking himself into watching those images again?

Rachel's dad had been so proud of her on the video, calling her his 'star' and telling her she was going to be famous one day. And he never knew.

I snuck a look at Kate and Rachel, but they didn't even notice, smiling at the screen. Kate had been fine before Rachel came down. Her smile had been a little sad when he was on the screen, but she hadn't been upset like Rachel. But she'd lived with it more than Rachel had. Rachel had told me that every time she came to this house it hurt a little. She spent so much time away, she didn't have to look at the memories every day.

They laughed over something, and I looked back at the TV, smiling at Rachel belting out a song, dancing around with the other little girls. I just watched for a while, until the bad guy came on, and I had to laugh. "Is that James?"

Poor James. He was not an attractive kid, too tall and skinny for his own good. Rachel sat up, away from her mom, laughing. "Yeah, that's James. This is when we first got to be friends."

I caught her eye. "You had a crush on that?"

She giggled, moving closer to me. "Not then. That was a couple of years later."

"Now you two stop picking on poor James!" Kate scolded. "He was a very sweet boy, even then."

Rachel laughed, leaning against me. "Oh, Mommy, I'm never letting you on our tour bus if you think James is 'sweet'."

"Please don't destroy my illusions, Rachel," her mom answered. "I don't want to know."

Rachel and I both laughed as her mom got up from the couch. "How about I make us some breakfast? You two can sit here and make fun of poor James without me for a moment."

As soon as her mom left the room, Rachel snuggled up against me, and I put an arm around her, pulling her against my body. "I'm sorry, Rache."

She looked up at me, giving me a quick kiss. "Don't be. It's better this way. I sorta got surprised into watching it."

I smoothed the hair away from her forehead, kissing her gently. "I didn't want to upset you, though."

"Oh, Nicky, there are going to be many things that upset me today, I'm sure. But not as much as last year and more than next year. I'm fine." She grinned, resting her head on my shoulder. "You're here. How can it be bad?"

My heart caught in my throat. Every once in a while she said something like that, that I made everything better, and I didn't know what to say. How could I make things better? What could I do? I just stumbled around and tried to be good enough for her.

"I'm so glad you're here, bunny," she said softly, taking my free hand in hers again and kissing my fingers. "I know I'm being selfish and mean, but I'm so glad you're with me and not with your family."

I shook my head. "No, don't be like that. I'm glad I'm here, too, and hell, so's my family, if they'd be honest about it." I squeezed her tighter. "I love you so much, Rache. This is exactly where I want to be at Christmas."

She kissed me, tangling her hands in my hair so that I wouldn't move away. Where would I go? Where else could I possibly want to be? We broke apart to breathe and she leaned her forehead against mine, sighing my name. "I love you."

I started to answer her, but then her mom called out from the kitchen, asking how we wanted our eggs, and we flew apart. We called out 'scrambled' in unison, and then burst into giggles, making her mom appear at the doorway, spatula in hand. "What are you saying about my James?"

Rachel leaned back against the far arm of the sofa, still laughing. "Nothing, Mommy. Finish breakfast."

I loved her mother's smile when she was amused at Rachel. It was like she knew Rachel was up to something, but she was so cute that Kate couldn't yell at her. I bet Rachel got away with everything when she was little. "I'll bring it in here, so we can watch the rest of the show."

Rachel groaned. "That might ruin my appetite."

"Your father is on the tape later. You'll suffer through for that, I imagine."

Kate went back into the kitchen, and Rachel snuggled against me again. "If she wasn't here, I would so be ravishing you right now…" she whispered, biting lightly at my earlobe. I had to bite back a moan.

"Are we going to have any time alone today?" I pleaded. Please let us have some more alone time. Yeah, we'd made love last night, but it was never enough with Rachel.

She moved away from me, considering. "Depends on when Mom leaves. Is she here for a reason beyond embarrassing me terribly with old home movies?" I shrugged. "Mommy?" Rachel called. "Are you just here to embarrass me, or do you need the kitchen?"

Her mom came into the living room with a tray of eggs and toast and tea. Her mom rocked.

"Embarrassing you is just a bonus. I came to bring some of the finished food back to the house. Remember, you still need to finish the ham and don't forget the stuffed artichokes and mushrooms. No way you would be able to fit all this food into your little car. But your lovely man was here, so I had to stay." She put the tray on the coffee table in front of us, sitting on the other end of the couch. "I'll leave you alone soon. I think you might need all day to open all those presents over there."

Rachel grinned, looking over at her tree in the corner. I hadn't even noticed all the presents. Were those for me? She reached over for a plate and handed it to me. "Are we doing family presents at the house after the party?"

"Of course!" Kate answered, stirring sugar into her tea. "Can you be there around six? I told guests to arrive at eight. We'll need help setting everything up."

"Do we need anything? Was ten hours of cookie baking enough? Think we'll need a dozen more pies?" Rachel teased.

"Speaking of pies… you have an awful lot there, Rache," I said around a mouthful of toast. I could feel jelly on my cheek and she leaned over to kiss me, licking it off in the process. Okay, her mom could leave now. I really liked Kate, but…

"Have to have a million pies at Christmas!" Kate exclaimed and Rachel just smiled.

"Should we take some to your family tomorrow as atonement?"

"You read my mind! I was talking to Aaron before your mom showed up, and he requested pumpkin or he's never speaking to you again. Dad likes cherry and Mom… she might be a hard nut to crack."

"Pecan?" Rachel joked, and we both cracked up. "We'll take them pie and wine. Give the family a sugar and alcohol high, and maybe they'll forget I'm the wicked girlfriend who stole you away at Christmas."

"Rachel Katherine Conner!" her mom exclaimed, and we both snapped our heads around to see her. Okay, that sounded angry. "You did not make Nick leave his family at Christmas?"

I couldn't start explaining fast enough, and Rachel just smiled as she watched me try to convince her mom that it was all my idea. She could help me out here! Her mom couldn't be mad at me!

"Mommy," she cooed, finishing her tea, "You know how important Christmas and family are to me. We're going to see Nick's family tomorrow, and it will be okay."

Kate just looked at her for a moment before sighing, "I suppose. Maybe next year we'll have the Carters here at Christmas, then. Show them that I raised you right."

Rachel bit back a giggle, but Kate heard it, narrowing her eyes at us.

Wait, did Kate think that this was going to last? Would I be lucky enough to be invited next year, or would I just be a footnote to Rachel's story of becoming rich and famous? I couldn't even let myself think about it. Apparently Rachel couldn't either, because she rolled her eyes, quickly changing the subject.

"Jon and Patrick will be happy to have another man around to clear the front room of furniture for dancing."

"There's dancing?" I asked, around a mouthful of toast. I didn't know there would be dancing. Rachel and Kate smiled at me.

"There's slow dancing for the old folks," Kate teased. "None of your pelvic thrusts."

Slow dancing with Rachel… I could do that. I might be able to manage a waltz. Kevin had taught me that once… I couldn't remember why.

Kate didn't leave until noon. We watched all of the 'Annie' tape, teasing Rachel thoroughly until John appeared again at the end. She stayed curled up next to me for that, though, and I caught her mother smiling over at us.

Rachel was in the kitchen, and I moved behind her, nuzzling her neck as she checked out her mom's instructions for what else needed to be done. "Didn't you promise me ravishment once your mom left?" I whispered, smiling as she leaned back against me.

"Shouldn't we start opening presents? Might take hours."

"Only very good girls get to open their presents early," I teased, running my tongue along her neck.

"I'm a good girl," she sighed, tilting her head to give me access to her ear. Instead, I turned her around, leaning her against the counter.

"Dunno… you might have to prove it."

She grinned at me, running her hands under my sweatshirt. "How should I do that, Mr. Carter? Should I give you a present first?"

I nodded slowly, leaning in to kiss her again, but she ducked under my arm with a giggle, running away. "What the…" I followed her, finding her in front of the tree, looking for a gift. "I didn't mean a real present, I meant…" she turned around, holding out a box to me with a grin on her face, and I smiled. Okay, I'd take a real present.

He sat on the floor, ripping at the paper, and I laughed. "Do you always unwrap gifts like that, Nick?"

He looked up at me and shrugged. There was another way to open gifts? Opening the package, he lifted the lid off the box and started laughing. Good, it was the right one. He couldn't even speak as he pulled out three ridiculous pairs of boxers, giggling the whole time. I sorta liked the gold ones… might look good with the blond hair on his legs.

"Oh, which ones to wear first…" he mused between giggles, and then he proceeded to pull a pair on over his sweatpants. He was such a dork!

Before I knew it, he'd opened the mailing boxes that he'd sent last week and I'd stashed near the tree. Soon I was surrounded by brightly wrapped presents, too. No way he wrapped all these! I couldn't imagine Nick having he patience to sit down and wrap presents. The mere thought made me giggle.

We sat on the floor under the tree opening presents and laughing for over an hour. I was glad to see that most of his gifts for me were just like mine for him - silly things that just reminded me of him or that I knew would make him smile.

God, I loved his smile.

He opened another present and smiled up at me, and I felt like I could get lost in his eyes. Leaning over, I pulled on his sweatshirt until he was close enough that I could reach his lips. Okay, I might like his lips more. They were so soft, and his kisses were sweet. In between presents, we'd been eating cookies and dancing around to cheesy Christmas songs on a CD I'd made for him.

"I love you, Rachel Katherine Connor," he sighed, his strong hands holding me against him as we caught our breath. "This is the best Christmas ever. Thank you for letting me be here."

I blinked back tears, not quite able to find my voice, "Nick… I… don't know what today would have been like without you here. I mean, even seeing Dad in the videos… it was okay because you were with me. Thank you."

He hugged me tighter and then looked down, spying another present under the tree. "Guess it's time for this one, then," he whispered, handing me a small jewelry box. "I love you."

Nodding, I pulled on the ribbon, feeling the tears falling down my face as I opened the box and stared at the most amazing pair of earrings I'd ever seen, beautifully cut emeralds and diamonds in an ornate art deco setting. I looked up into his eyes and he reached over, drying my tears with his finger.

"No tears, baby," he tried to joke, but I could see them in his eyes, too. Maybe it was just that neither of us had really had much sleep, but we were both suddenly overcome with emotion.

"They are beautiful, Nick. Just…"

"For Buttercup - she's green, remember? So I thought the emeralds were perfect. And I just knew you'd like the setting. I showed them to James, and he tried to buy them off me. Told me that I was gonna show him up, he always got you the favorite present."

I had to giggle at that. He was right. I couldn't imagine what James could get me to top these. They were just… perfect. And I wasn't a jewelry girl. They so didn't come from some store in the mall, not even from Tiffany's. They were real. Just like Nick and me.

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