Oreos for Breakfast: Chapter 27

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 27
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

Thanks to Baby Frick for the chapter graphic!

Fucking flights. Like it wasn't enough that I hated to fly, I'd had to sit around in the airport before we ever left New York, and then when I finally got to Miami, I couldn't find my fucking car. It had seemed like a really good idea to have Marc bring my car up to the airport, but it wasn't on the fifth floor of the parking garage where it was supposed to be. After three phone calls, I finally got him and he remembered it was on the fourth floor.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't be that mad at him, since he'd driven it up all the way from Marathon, and he'd had problems rescuing my car from airport parking before, but now I was even later to Rachel's show.

I should have blown off my breakfast meeting and taken the 11 a.m. flight like I was supposed to. But she was tied up in interviews all day, and I wanted to go over a couple of more tracks, and 12 hours ago it all made sense to take the later flight, since I wouldn't get to see her until after the show anyway.

Now it was after nine and they were going on stage soon, and I was just getting out of the airport. I tried to smile at the nice woman in the parking booth as she handed me my change, but it must not have been very sincere because she just blinked at me. Then again, maybe it wasn't me. Maybe the parking booth lady just wasn't very nice.

Or maybe I was just annoyed at everyone right now. But I'd only seen two of Rachel's shows this month, because our schedules were a mess. This was my last chance to see them headline a Christmas radio show, and I'd blown it. Did she tell me the other night that this was going to be their biggest crowd yet? She was probably freaking out, and now I'd be lucky if I got to see the last song, let alone give her a good luck kiss like I was planning.

Hell, I wasn't even sure where I was going. Why did I think it was a good idea to have my own car again? At least my car had GPS, but if I didn't know where I was going, that was no help.

I leaned over to switch on the GPS, and there was a bright green Post-It note in my way. "American Airlines Arena," it said. "It's programmed in." Thank god for Marc. I flipped on the GPS, and a calm voice informed me that I needed to take the next left. Of course, I was in the right lane.

I should have just taken a cab. Hell, Lola had offered to get a car to meet me at the airport, but I had some bright idea that I should be a normal person.

I liked being a normal person. For most of November, Rachel and I were just normal. Sure, we'd spent some time in New York working, but there was no Frank or a tour manager telling me where to go every minute. I had some meetings with the record company and songwriters and management, and I knew what was going on. That was new for me. With Backstreet, most of the time, things like that were a blur. I'd be in a meeting and not even pay attention, because it didn't matter.

Now it mattered. Now it was just me, and I had to make my own choices. I liked that. The only person's opinion I worried about was Rachel's, and she didn't care. She just wanted me to be happy.

It was still sort of weird to be without the guys. After our ten days or so in Japan with Backstreet, all I wanted to do was record my own stuff and not even talk to the fellas. Japan had sucked. We all just wanted the tour to be over, and instead we had to deal with the insanity of Japanese fans. If Rachel hadn't been there, I might have given up.

I smiled to myself, remembering our time in Japan. Rachel loved it. She'd never been to Japan, and she loved the lights of the cities and traveling through the rest of the country on the really fast trains. She'd loved the fans, swarming us every time we stepped out of the hotel. She hadn't understood a word they said, but she still smiled at them and signed autographs and posed for pictures. Sudden Silence was big there, something neither one of us had realized. It was one thing when the record company said you were selling well in Japan, and another thing to be there and actually see that people who didn't even speak English could sing along to your songs.

All right, part of Japan was cool. But the other part was dealing with my band, and we were just sick of each other. Everyone had their own plans for the next couple of months, so I made mine. I went back to New York and started writing songs. Rachel was on the road, but we talked for hours and hours. I'd play her part of a song I'd written that day, and she'd tell me how to make it better, or how it reminded her of writing something, and eventually I'd learned about the process behind nearly everything she'd written. She even told me how Damon wrote his songs, and Jeremy's weird habits. I was so interested in hearing about songwriting, I didn't care that she was talking about her ex-boyfriends.

Maybe the radio station sponsoring the show tonight would be broadcasting from the venue… I hit the radio button and scanned the stations until I found it. Well, someone was broadcasting from somewhere live. "This is awesome! Michelle Branch left the stage about ten minutes ago, so everyone knows that Sudden Silence is next up. In just a few minutes, James, Darien, Jeremy and Rachel will be onstage, performing all their big hits. Don't change that dial! We'll have them, live, right after this break."

My phone rang, and I fished it out of my pocket. "Hey, buttercup."

"Aw, I didn't know you cared, Nicky."

Lola. Damnit. I should have checked the display. "I thought it was Rachel!"

"She's doing an interview." That's why I hadn't even called her when I got off the plane. I'd called to tell her about the delay and only got her voicemail. "But she wanted to know where you are."

"I'm… dunno. Ten minutes away? They'll let me park by the stage door, right?"

"It's covered. They're due on stage in ten minutes. Want me to stall?"

"No, then I'll hit traffic or something. I'll be there, though."

"I'll let her know. When you get here, you can hang with Jeff."

"Jeff?"

"My boss. President of The Firm?"

I hesitated for a second. "Jeff is there?" I could count on one hand the times Jeff had been to a Backstreet show. And all of those were in LA. He'd flown to Miami to see Sudden Silence?

"Yeah, he wants to meet with them after the show."

Damnit. Of course he did. Rachel and I had two days planned in Miami. We were staying at the hotel we'd been at last month, with the nice pool and the suite with the hot tub. I had plans! We only had these two days before we both had to go and do family things for the holidays. Even though we were going to see each other on Christmas Day, we'd be with family. And then she had to rehearse because they were playing the MTV New Year's Ball. They were really excited about that.

Hell, we'd never done that!

"I'll make him be quick, okay, Nick? I know you and Rachel had plans…"

"It's okay, Lola. I'll be there soon. Tell her I… tell her to break a leg."

"I'll tell her you love her, too. Bye!"

Why the hell was Jeff there?

"Are we going? I think we're going!" Darien said, jumping up and down. He always had too much energy before a show. I guess that was good, because he took it all out on the drums. "This is it, this is it," he chanted, heading for the door.

No one had come to pick us up yet. Someone had to come from the radio station to let us know they were ready, right? Maybe we still had a couple of minutes. Where was my Nick?

The door opened, and a girl with a radio pass around her neck came in. "Is Sudden Silence ready?" she yelled.

Damnit. She wasn't a cute intern, like we sometimes got. We tortured cute interns. No, this was someone official who was used to dealing with rock stars.

"Come on! Two minutes! We don't want that crowd to get bored and leave, do we?"

"Oh, they never leave before we play, sweetheart. Then they'd miss the best part of the night!" Darien bragged, hopping over to her side. "Jeremy, James, Rachel, let's go!"

I turned to the mirror instead, checking my hair. It was fine, even though I'd just been posing for pictures with a Santa hat on. All the forced cheer of these Christmas shows was enough to make me almost hate Christmas. Especially in Miami. It should be cold for Christmas, not 80 fucking degrees.

It would be better when I got home. It would be cold, and my family would be there, and our tree would be decorated with all the ornaments we'd collected throughout the years. I could wear sweaters and thick socks, and curl up next to the fire with my boyfriend.

"Stuck in traffic," Lola said, appearing behind me, fixing a curl on the top of my head. When did she become my mother? I scowled into the mirror, and she just laughed. "He'll be here soon."

"Alright," I sighed, moving away from the mirror. "Let's go, people! We have an arena to rock!"

An arena. The first one, a few weeks ago, had been terrifying. But now I was almost used to it. My band, headlining radio shows. Fine, we weren't the only reason people bought tickets, but no one was leaving before we went on, either. We had a video on TRL every day, the Christmas song we did as a joke was on the radio every three minutes, and the song we did for the VW commercial was one of the most downloaded tracks on Napster every day. It was a pretty good Christmas.

It would be great if I weren't thinking of Dad constantly. He loved Christmas. This was his favorite time of year. He would have loved seeing Christmas across the country with me.

James wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked down the hallway that led to the stage, and I snuggled up against him. He knew what was bothering me

"Nick'll be here," he assured me. Okay, I was thinking about Nick, too.

"I know," I nodded. I'd only seen him a couple of times this month, and I was looking forward to our couple of days together. After this show, I was on vacation until New Year's Eve, when we were playing MTV's New Year's party thing. All of that time was booked up, with Nick, and my family stuff, and then his family stuff, and…

I had to get through this show first. It would suck if I went out there depressed and boring. We were supposed to be full of Christmas cheer.

"Have a great show," a voice beside me said, and I turned to smile at Jeff, the president of The Firm.

"Thanks," I heard my voice squeak. I was still freaked out that he was here to meet with us after the show. We'd never even met Jeff before today. We'd met with Saffron and one of the other big wigs before signing with The Firm. I think Jeff might have been on a conference call once… yeah, that horrible day after 9/11. Definitely couldn't think about that now. That would completely fuck up the Christmas cheer.

Then today he'd shown up completely unannounced. Lola was shocked, and tried to get us to be on our best behavior, so we wouldn't make her look bad in front of her boss. Saffron had come in with Jeff, but she wouldn't tell us what the meeting was about. She just smiled and told us we'd know soon enough. Before I could really pin her down, we were off to meet radio contest winners and talk to more press and pose for more stupid photographs.

Okay, I had to stop doing this. A year ago I would have loved to be in this position. But if they dropped us now, Christmas would suck. But why would they do that? We rocked. I could hear the crowd as we approached the stage, and then they erupted when a spot came on, illuminating two of the DJ's from the Miami radio station. They went into some stupid banter, and I tuned them out, going over to Darien and jumping up and down with him. Maybe I could steal some of his energy.

One of the DJs said "I was just backstage with Sudden Silence..." and the rest of his sentence was lost in the cheers. Darien and I stopped jumping, looking at one another. We'd been getting reactions like that all month, but it never stopped shocking me. This time last year, I'd been home, facing my first Christmas without Dad. Now we were playing to a crowd of ten thousand people who loved us.

Loved us! The screams grew louder when the DJs left the stage and the lights went down. It got even louder as some of the crowd realized that Jeremy was leading us to our places.

I would never get tired of that sound. Never. It was the best sound in the world, a few thousand voices making a joyful noise, just because my band was going to play a couple of songs. Whenever I got dragged down by all the other bullshit in the industry, I just had to remember this.

Darien counted us in, the lights went up, and the crowd went wild. I fucking loved that phrase, 'the crowd went wild'. I really loved that they did it for us. Everything else fell away as we launched into the first song, everyone singing along.

Two songs later, I went over to say something to James and got distracted by someone waving madly at me from the side of the stage.

Only my boyfriend could be dressed in a wool sweater and leather coat in Miami. Dork. He almost made me miss my cue, too.

Jeremy could yell at me later, but I had to just grin at my boyfriend for a half a second. He'd only missed a couple of songs, and I knew our set would be even better now that he was here and I knew he was watching. Thousands of people in the stands, but I only really cared about one.

It was a very good Christmas.

I hoped I didn't miss too much. I could see Lola standing on the other side of the stage, and I tried to catch her attention, but she was more concerned with whoever was on her phone. Wonder what was going wrong now? Hopefully nothing! It was a matter of minutes before I could talk to Rachel, I did not want her to have to deal with a crisis.

Jeff was talking to Saffron, and no one seemed to care that I was here. Shouldn't the radio station people care a little? Someone had met my car, handed me an all access pass, and got me here. But then he disappeared.

I really wasn't the star tonight, was I? That was okay. I looked back at the stage, smiling as Rachel sang "Three Small Words." The crowd almost drowned her out on the chorus. Maybe she should let them… her voice was a little rough. Not bad, but she didn't sound her best. They'd only had three nights off for all of December, so it was no wonder that she was sounding a little tired. Good thing this was their last show for a while.

I shouldn't tell her any of that, huh? I'd just tell her she was perfect. I knew if I didn't, she'd want to know what was wrong, and none of it mattered. The crowd thought she was great, and that's all that counted. This time tomorrow, she'd only be with me, not thousands of screaming fans. I wouldn't make her sing.

I might make her scream my name a little… but that was different.

Four songs later, they said 'goodnight' and she ran offstage and into my arms. "You made it!" she yelled, hugging me.

"Stupid airline," I grumbled, holding her tightly. "You were amazing."

"Sucks that you had to miss even a second of my brilliance," she teased, but I just kissed her. I knew they were going back for an encore, and it had been weeks since I'd kissed her. I tried to make it quick, since there were people all around us, but she wouldn't let me go. Who was I to fight her?

Finally, she let me go to breathe but didn't move away, leaning into me with her eyes shut. "I love you," she whispered, and I captured her lips in mine again.

"Encore!" James yelled, right next to us, and we both jumped, making him laugh. "They're demanding an encore. Unhand my singer."

"They could be demanding an encore simply because we haven't done the single yet," Rachel said dryly, snuggling up against me again.

"Yes, that is part of our devious plan," James agreed, dragging her away from me. "Let's go. Hey, Nick. Nice of you to finally show up. Why were you late again?"

I scowled at him. "My flight was delayed, then I couldn't find my car, and I got lost, and…"

"Tell me later, bunny!" Rachel yelled over her shoulder as James dragged her away. The crowd roared when they realized Sudden Silence was back onstage, and I felt myself smiling like a dork.

"You should be proud," someone next to me said. "They're getting a great reaction."

I looked over, not recognizing the voice, but I knew his face. "Nice to see you, Jeff."

We shook hands, then he nodded out at the stage, where Rachel was grinning at the crowd as they sang the chorus of "Pretend to be Nice" for her. "They are having a very good Christmas."

"Yeah, it's great." She'd been telling me about this sort of crowd support, but I hadn't seen it. The shows I'd seen had been good, but nothing like this. You couldn't help but have your performance change when you were playing to 10,000 people versus 2,000.

"And Ken tells me you've been writing some great stuff," Jeff continued as he tapped his foot in time to "Pretend To Be Nice," watching them intently. Ken was the guy from The Firm who was handling my solo stuff. He'd worked with Mandy when we were dating, and I'd really liked him. He seemed to understand exactly what I wanted to do, and he never once tried to steer me towards the pop ballads that Jive wanted me to do.

"It's… different," I admitted, and Jeff laughed.

"Different is good. Are you taking tips from Rachel on writing great rock songs?"

"Some." She never tried to get me to write like she did. But she was my inspiration for everything. All of my songs were about her. I'd played some for her over the phone, but I couldn't wait for her to really listen to them. I patted my jacket pocket, double-checking that my CD was there. That would really suck to have dropped it in the airport or something. "I'm learning from everyone right now. I'm working with a couple of guys in New York who have been amazing."

Of course Jeff knew them, and we talked music while Sudden Silence finished their set, so I basically missed it all. I was a crappy boyfriend. I wasn't supposed to be working tonight, but here I was, talking with Jeff. The problem was that if someone asked me about my stuff, I couldn't shut up about it.

But then Rachel was next to me, sweaty and glowing from the show, and my stuff wasn't important any more. "Are they really letting you go this time, buttercup?"

She looked back at the arena, and the house lights were up. "We only play in the dark. Yes, this tour is officially over!"

"We'd be on vacation now if someone didn't want to have a last minute business meeting," Darien sighed, looking at Jeff. Dude, I never joked like that with Jeff. Then again, Darien assumed everyone was his best friend.

Jeff just laughed it off. "I promise, it'll be brief. We'll just go back to the hotel and get a drink."

"Your tab. Non-recoupable!" Darien insisted, and Jeff laughed again.

"Saffron and Lola were telling me about your obsession with recoupables. I think you're going to enjoy this meeting, Darien."

"Really?" Darien wondered, walking back towards the dressing room with his arm around Jeff. "Tell me more."

Jeremy and Rachel exchanged a look as we followed behind them. "Recoupables?" Jeremy hissed at her, and she shrugged.

"I have no idea. What can't wait until after the holidays, though?"

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Your boy toy can wait an hour, Rache."

"I waited for him all day, after all," Rachel agreed, smiling up at me as she wrapped her arm around my waist. That felt nice, walking with her beside me. I put my arm around her shoulder, and she snuggled against me. Guess she liked it, too. "Why were you late again?"

"Yeah, I want to hear this one," James chimed in, coming up on my other side. So I told them the story of my journey to get here, ending up in their dressing room.

"And why wasn't taking a cab from the airport good enough?" Jeremy asked, and I shrugged, sitting on the couch.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time. I have to meet my family in Orlando in a couple of days, and it'll be easier for me just to drive there."

"Do you think you'll be able to find Disney World, bunny?" Rachel asked, sitting next to me, and I scowled at her.

"Yes. There are signs!"

"Signs to get here, too," she teased, and I just pouted at her.

"Spending Christmas at Disney?" James wondered, but I shook my head.

"Just a couple of days. Aaron's doing the Christmas parade thing, and it films the twenty-third." Or the 22nd… something like that. What day was it today? "Then we're all going to see my grandparents in New York."

"Hey, does that mean you're coming to the Christmas Eve party?" he asked, excited, but Rachel shook her head, reaching over for my hand, like she didn't want to stop touching me.

"No, Albany, too far from us. I'm driving up there Christmas Day sometime. Having all the Carters at our Christmas Eve party became way too complicated."

She stopped herself, but I could see the rest of her thought behind her eyes. And scary. I wasn't sure we were really ready for all the families to meet. I couldn't quite see Mom and Pops with Rachel's mom and brothers. Although my sisters would probably love the nieces and nephew. Didn't all girls like little kids?

I really wanted to be there, though. I knew it was a big deal to her family, but Mom had already made Christmas Eve plans. It'd probably been 5 years since we'd seen her extended family, so this was now part Christmas and part family reunion. I'd gotten the guilt trip from her when I mentioned wanting to see Rachel, and then Rachel told me that family was most important on Christmas. Which was true, but… I wanted to be with her. Christmas was rough for her, with her dad and all, and I wanted to be there.

"Bummer. It's a great party. Maybe next year," James said, hitting my knee and then getting up, leaving us on the couch as he went to get his stuff together to leave for the hotel.

Next year… would we still be together this time next year? I couldn't imagine not being together, but… we really hadn't been together that long, when you thought about it, just a few months.

If we were still together next year, it would be more like a year and a half, and that meant we had to combine our family traditions, right? Right now, we both knew we'd be getting guilt trips if either of us tried to skip out on family stuff to see each other for the holidays. Rachel had missed her family Thanksgiving when we were in Japan, and I was sure that she was still hearing it from her brothers, even if they were just teasing.

"So, can you follow the bus back to the hotel?" Rachel asked, and I pulled her up against me, kissing her forehead as she leaned her head against my chest.

"I might get lost. You should come with me. Help navigate," I whispered.

"Yeah, because I know my way around Miami so well."

"We'll attempt to follow the bus," I assured her. "But Jeff is cutting into our time here…"

"I'm sorry," she said, sincerely, looking up at me. "I had no idea he was coming."

I kissed her quickly, not being able to stand that sad look in her pretty brown eyes. "If I had taken the earlier flight, we would have had part of the day. It's okay. You'd better not be tired when you get back, though," I warned, and she giggled.

"I promise. I'll have coffee during the meeting."

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