Oreos for Breakfast: Chapter 28

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 31
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

Clockwatching
Lately we're running out of time, aren't we?

"Ms. Connor, could I get you a glass of wine while you look around?"

It still freaked me out when people I didn't know and had never met before knew my name. I started to shake my head before reconsidering. I had time before Nick's flight arrived. I could have a glass of wine while I found the perfect outfit for tonight.

"How 'Pretty Woman'… why not?" I laughed and the saleswoman shared my smile.

"I'll be right back, then. Please make yourself at home."

She turned and disappeared between the racks of slinky, sexy lingerie. Maybe if I got a little tipsy it'd be easier to think about spending…I picked up the nearest piece of lingerie and looked down at the tag…. $300 on something that Nick was just going to rip off of me in two seconds.

At least I hoped he was going to want to rip it off me.

We'd been better last week while he was in London and I was home. He'd called me every night to tell me about his day or play me some of his new songs. Sometimes it was just to "kiss" me goodnight. I loved talking to him while I sat on my deck and watched the sunset, knowing that it was one less day we'd be apart.

Being at home was harder than I thought it'd be. Everyone was busy getting the winery ready for the summer season. I had no idea how it was almost summer already.

I took a sip from my glass of wine and considered the shimmering white nightgown in front of me. A year ago I wouldn't have even been allowed in a store like this. I'd set off some 'too poor to pay for it' alarm as I came through the front door. But now I could afford it. And everyone seemed to think that I belonged here.

Looking around, I caught a woman staring at me and smiled at her.

"Sorry… it's just… you're Rachel Connor, right?"

I nodded. Guess pulling my hair back didn't do the trick of making me unrecognizable. For the record, half a glass of wine didn't make it any weirder that people I didn't know knew my name.

"Wow… I love your music. I'm getting married in June and we're using some of your music in the ceremony."

"Our songs?"

She smiled, "We just love Sudden Silence. We met at Blur show years ago and you opened. My fiancé had a little crush on you. So, when's your next CD coming out?"

It was such a simple question, wasn't it? But my heart still skipped a beat as I considered her enthusiastic expression. I'd thought about that question a lot during the last week as I ignored my phone every time Jeremy called. It's not that I was avoiding him, but he wanted to talk about recording and I… didn't.

What if the next CD wasn't as good as this one? What if that's all the good music I had in me?

They all teased me that I wrote crap songs when I was happy. But it was true. The last good song I wrote was when Nick and I were broken up. And I couldn't put that song on the CD, could I? Then every time we played it, I'd remember that Nick had cheated on me.

Why were my Nick songs more painful than the others? I had no problem with the bitter, angry Damon songs. And the Jeremy ones… they were some of my favorites to play live.

Finishing my glass of wine in one swallow, I forced myself to smile, "Congratulations on your wedding. Getting something sexy for the big night?"

She blushed as an older, rounder version of herself walked up to us, "Charlotte, we have to get moving if we're going to meet the caterers at 3."

The saleswoman came by and offered to refill my glass. I held it out for her as I watched Charlotte and her mother hurry off to the dressing rooms.

"Oh, I love that one!" The perky saleswoman nodded toward the nightgown I was holding. "So pretty and it will go great with your coloring, too. Would you like to try that on, Ms. Connor?"

I handed it to her. Why not? I had time to kill. "Let me grab a few others, just to see."

"That's the best thing about shopping!" She laughed, disappearing into the back of the store and leaving me to ponder the skimpy things surrounding me.

My back pocket vibrated and I pulled out my phone. James. Great.

"Why aren't you here?" He huffed.

"Because I'm here instead?" I tried.

"Well, Jeremy is going to kill you! We have studio time, you know. Expensive studio time."

"I know. J has a bunch of songs to demo, James. Start with them. I'm busy."

"Busy doing what exactly? You never returned our calls last week!"

"Yeah, well…" I handed a dark green teddy adorned with an intricate Chinese design down the front to the saleswoman and she smiled. "I'm in Miami and Nick and I are going to be in Marathon this weekend. I'll be back in New York next week."

"That was not the deal, Rache!"

"Well, no one consulted me about the deal, okay, James? Look… I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't."

His tone surprised me and I waved the helpful saleswoman away as she tried to help me in the dressing room. I think I could manage to try on underwear without her.

Sitting down on the velvet armchair in the huge dressing room, I sighed into the phone. "James, don't start. Please."

"What is wrong with you, Rache? It's been a week and you haven't returned anyone's calls. Lola's even tried to get in touch with you. I know you were home and you like to cut yourself off… but this is me."

I squinted at myself in the mirror. Did I really look this old or was it the lighting? Shouldn't stores have more flattering lighting and maybe trick mirrors that magically made you look 22 and thin and perfect?

"I'm just… I don't know, James. Everything's going pear-shaped and I'm trying to stop it. I just had some woman accost me in this store asking when our next album was coming out and… it scared me."

"It'll never come out if we don't write it, Rache." James' tone was softer now. Could he tell over the phone how fast my pulse was racing? How it was harder to breathe since I'd heard his voice?

We were both quiet for a minute. I could hear young, happy Charlotte in the dressing room beside me. Her mother gushing about how beautiful she was. She just couldn't believe her little girl was so grown up. Her father was going to cry like a baby when he saw her in her gown.

Her father would get to cry at her wedding. That was so unfair.

I touched the rings hanging from the delicate chain around my neck. For the millionth time, I had to ask myself why I couldn't bring myself to wear Nick's ring. I knew the ring didn't mean anything. It didn't mean we were getting married or would be together forever. Hell, it didn't even make him want to take time off from recording to be with me.

"Rachel? Are you still there?"

"James, sometimes I just can't do it, you know?"

"Don't break down on me, Rache. Where's Nick?"

"On a plane somewhere over the ocean. He's getting in later."

"Are you talking to him?"

"What?"

I could hear the fear in his voice and I remembered the last time I felt this way. How dumb was I? We'd been so busy last month that I hadn't even stopped long enough to remember. Three years since Dad died and I still felt this way. Would it ever go away?

"If you aren't talking to me and you're avoiding everyone else, are you at least talking to Nick about it? About your dad."

"How do you know me so well?" I whispered, feeling a tear run down my cheek as Charlotte's mother cooed again. We get it, lady! Your daughter is perfect. Your daughter is going to have the perfect wedding.

My wedding would never be perfect. Dad wouldn't be there no matter how pretty my dress was or how many guests I invited.

"Dumb question. We share the brain. C'mon, Rache. I know. Your mom said they barely saw you when you were home. You're up there alone and it's just after the anniversary. I understand, but you can't just wallow in it. You have to start writing and just keep moving forward. It's what he'd want."

"I know. I just… things with Nick have been weird since…" I almost said it and stopped myself. James could probably figure it out, but I knew I couldn't tell him. Not in so many words. "The tour and everything. It really hurt him that we did it, James. I need to figure out how to make this right again."

"He doesn't get to control you this much. Why are you letting him?"

"He's not doing that!"

Fuck him. That's not what was happening here! There were lots of reasons why things were strained between Nick and me, and it wasn't all his fault. It certainly wasn't that Nick was trying to control me. Hell, Nick liked it that I was independent!

"Whatever you say, Rache. But we're here in the studio and you're there at his beck-and-call."

"Fuck you!"

I hung up the phone and turned it off. They could figure out what was happening in the studio without me for all I cared.

How many times had we been here? I stared into the crowd of people waiting expectantly around airport security… not Rachel… not Rachel… cute girl, but not Rachel… she looks like someone I danced with last week… Rachel!

Her face lit up as she saw me, her eyes brightening as she smiled and waved a hand over her head. God, I loved that face.

Pulling her into my arms, we hugged for a long moment, neither one of us wanting to let go. "God, I missed you, buttercup."

She nodded against my chest, not letting me go. I bent down and kissed her gently, a little surprised when she returned my kiss with more urgency. Guess she missed me, too. Pulling away, she looked up at me, her eyes just a little sad.

"Me, too, bunny. How was your flight? Are you completely wiped out?"

I stifled a yawn as she took my hand, leading me toward the baggage claim area. "Long and cramped, but I'll be good. What time is it?"

"Three o'clock. You're a little early even. Hungry?"

"Maybe. How long have you been here?"

We watched the baggage go around on the carousel. I needed to learn to just stuff all my crap into a backpack from now on. I hated to wait.

"Since this morning, I got an early flight. Spent the night in the city last night."

She did? Usually she hated to leave home early. I was almost afraid she was going to be in a mood again because I was making her come here for the boat race, and cutting her time at the Point short. I'd love to go to the Point, but I needed to be at this race. It was in Marathon and that was gonna rock. All my friends would be there.

"Thanks for coming." I moved over to a chair near the carousel and pulled her onto my lap. " I know you hate to cut your time at home short."

She just shrugged, "I might understand something about the race this time. I've been learning a lot from your fan boards. Man, who knew those girls cared so much about power boats?"

"Very funny, Rache."

"Seriously, Nick. They are following everything… making t-shirts for your team and planning on going to every race."

I stared at her for a moment, trying to gauge whether she was teasing me or not. I was too tired for the teasing. "They are?" She nodded and I could tell she wasn't lying. " That's a little… hell, that's so cool, isn't it?"

Nodding, she leaned down, kissing me quickly. "Means I'll have to share you, though."

"Don't worry, I only have eyes for you, baby. But it's cool. We have the best fans ever!"

"Yeah, my fans just wanna know when I'm going to release another CD. They have no idea it's gonna suck."

Spying my bag, Rachel moved off my lap to grab it before it disappeared inside the carousel again. Once we were safely on our way to the car, I looked over at her. "Why is your CD gonna suck, Rache?"

"Sophomore slump?"

"But this isn't your second CD!"

"Does it matter? What if…" she stopped walking and sighed, rummaging in her bag for the rental car keys. "What if it really sucks, Nick? What if the best songs were all on this CD and I don't have any left? I write crap music when I'm happy!"

She was happy?

"Well, we're not breaking up just so you can write a good song, Rache. Forget it."

She had to laugh at that. "Sorry… I… Jeremy's been calling me all week and I know he wants to talk about the new songs, and I just can't face it yet. So he had James call me today and… fuck them. I don't have anything to demo so they can just work on Jeremy's stuff for a while."

She popped the trunk and I stored my bags, coming around to her side of the car before she could get in, "Are they in the studio?"

Nodding, she tried to pull out of my grasp, but I held onto her, "Without you?"

"Well, they want me there, but I want to be here, Nick. We have time to record and I don't have any good ideas. I'm still decompressing from the tour, you know? It was all… it was more difficult for me."

Where'd my happy Rachel go? Would being here with me bring her back? "Baby, you've only been off for a couple of weeks. You're right, you know, they can wait. You can't force it. Besides, your new songs are going to be great."

"But… what if…"

"Shhhh…" I soothed her, pulling her against me and wrapping my arms around her tightly. Was I a bad boyfriend if I didn't want to talk about this? I was tired and wanted everything to be better now. We could talk about her fears and band later, but right now, I just wanted to lose myself in her. I didn't even want to think about my music.

She seemed to get that, turning her face up to me, a smile replacing her worried look. "Sorry, you don't want to hear all this… I love you, bunny. Kiss me."

That I could do. That's all I wanted to do, anyway.

"The penthouse, buttercup?"

"Only the best for my man," I laughed as the elevator doors opened and the bellhop wheeled Nick's suitcases and my shopping bags into the hallway. I handed him a tip, holding my breath until the doors closed. "Alone. Finally."

"Too bad it's not raining, huh?" Nick whispered as he pulled me close, kissing my neck greedily. "Did you have time to use the spa this afternoon?"

I just smiled, moving away from him to find the room service menu. "You'll find out. Do you want to order lunch? I thought you said you were hungry?"

"I just want you, buttercup. C'mere."

Coming up behind me, he wrapped his arms around me and I leaned back against him. I loved how I felt in his arms, so safe and protected. Was that wrong?

I pushed James' words out of my head as I felt Nick's fingers slowly unbuttoning my blouse. Reaching up, I buried my fingers in his hair, tugging on it as his lips traced a path along my collarbone. A shiver shot through me as his teeth nipped at my skin.

"Let me order us something to eat, bunny. You're going to need your strength later."

"No later," he growled against my now-flushed skin. "Now."

Turning in his arms, I offered my mouth to him. I loved the way his lips felt against mine. Slippery and strong. I dreamed of these kisses. Urgent… possessive… like he'd never get enough of tasting me on his tongue. I know I couldn't.

Breaking our kiss, I rested my head on his chest, trying to catch my breath.

"I promise, it's worth the wait, baby. Why don't you take a quick shower and I'll be ready when you're done?"

Reaching between our bodies, his hand slipped down the front of my pants, his finger tracing the delicate lace pattern on my panties. "I think you're ready, Rache."

My eyes fluttered shut as his fingers danced over me. Okay, I might like his fingers better than his mouth. But no… I had plans and they didn't include quick sex on the hallway floor. They included $300 lingerie, champagne and maybe a little teasing.

Somehow I didn't think he'd mind that so much. I pulled Nick's hand out of my panties, kissing his palm and smiling as he pouted down at me. Turning him around, I pushed him in the direction of the bathroom, "You'll like the stuff I have for you in there, bunny. Take your time."

What the hell? I didn't want to shower, I'd just get all sweaty anyway. Leaning down, I sniffed my shirt. Okay, I could maybe stand to shower. I wasn't really sure when I washed this shirt last anyway. Now that Rachel was with me, she'd make sure my clothes were clean.

Not that I needed her for that… but it was definitely a perk.

Leaning down, I started the shower, breathing in deeply as the steam started to fill the room. My head was foggy from being on the plane for so long and it did feel kind of good to get out of these clothes.

Peeking back into the shower, I saw what looked like a bath bomb on the slick tile floor. As it melted, the steam grew stronger. My skin tingled slightly as the steam opened my pores and made it easier to breathe. My girlfriend was amazing.

Going over to the sink, I saw that she had a razor and her shaving cream set out for me. Guess I was getting rid of the facial hair, then?

Lathering up my hands, I breathed in the scent of the shaving cream. I should buy some of this stuff. It was good. And it would always remind me of that time at her house. When were we going to have time to go back there and make rice krispie treats and walk on the beach? Not for a while. Between my schedule and hers, I think we were booked nearly all summer.

Finishing up my shave, I tried not to think about how busy we'd be this summer. We didn't do well when we were both working. We had to figure that out, didn't we? But it's not like I could turn anything down now.

Ken kept telling me that this album was like starting over again. I was a new artist. Nick Carter. No Backstreet to hide behind, or hold me back. This album was all me. It was weird being in the studio without the guys, though. It was sort of cool and I was learning new things, but it was also strange. I couldn't imagine performing without them, but I knew it'd happen… sooner rather than later.

Stepping into the shower, I reached for Rachel's shampoo. The familiar scent of lavender and vanilla calmed my racing heart. I didn't want to think about work. I just wanted to be in this moment. Was that too much to ask? I spied what looked like massage oil on the shelf. Did she want me to…?

She obviously had some plans for us, so who was I to argue? Closing my eyes, I saw her beautiful body, her long hair caressing my chest as she took my cock between her pink, soft lips…

I had to remember that she was the smart one. Because the moment I saw her, I was ready again. Rachel plans were always good… especially when they were see-through and slinky.

Soft candlelight illuminated her figure, casting sexy shadows on the walls. She'd pulled the curtains, creating a cocoon as soft music floated in the air around us. I just watched her as she poured us each a glass of wine. No… champagne. I could imagine how sweet she'd taste as the soft bubbles broke against her skin.

"Enjoy your shower, baby?" She smiled, handing me a crystal flute.

"Yeah. You're amazing, Rache," I leaned down, tasting the alcohol on her lips as she kissed me. But as I moved closer, she inched away from me. "C'mon, baby. I'm all clean now. Just like you wanted me."

"Oh, I want you lots of ways, Nick. But… not yet."

She was kidding me. "Not yet? But Rache, you know how hot you look? This is amazing." I felt the soft fabric slip through my fingers as I ran my hand down her hip. She trembled slightly at my touch, telling me she was as ready for this as I was. " Too bad I'm just gonna rip it off you."

Smiling, she untied my robe, pushing me back until my knees hit the bed and I fell back, "There will be no ripping. I paid too much for this."

"It was worth every penny." Taking a sip of my drink, I leaned back, considering her. "Show me?"

Raising an eyebrow, she stepped back, standing in front of me so I could get the full effect. The shimmering silvery fabric showed off every curve, even a few I'd never noticed before. Her skin seemed to glow in the soft light and something sparkled as she reached up to touch her hair, which was piled on top of her head.

My ring.

She noticed my reaction, biting her bottom lip as I watched her hand as she wound a single curl around her finger, "Should I keep it up, Nick?"

"Please." All of it. She was right. This was too good to end quickly.

He looked amazing, his hair wet from his shower. I loved it longer. It made him look older and I liked having something to pull while he pounded inside of me… and I think he did, too. The dark blue of the robe I'd picked out for him made his eyes seem even bluer than usual, and they sparkled in the candlelight as he watched me.

I wasn't sure how long I could draw out the seduction scene. I was desperate for him to fuck me. I'd purposely steered him away from phone sex this week, wanting to hear him beg when he was in front of me. I wanted to see the longing in his eyes and I wasn't disappointed. I was sure he'd used the oil I'd left for him in the shower, otherwise, there's no way I'd still be just standing here in front of him.

It seemed like a lifetime ago since we'd had time to ourselves to play and tease one another. It was always about chasing those few moments we had together. Always watching the clock and holding our breath as the minutes ticked by. Counting the time down to the next show, the next plane, the next interview.

Fuck other commitments. This was more important than being in the studio and fighting with Jeremy. Feeling bad because my songs didn't cut it. I knew what he'd say if I talked to him. They were weak. I'd run out of things to say.

But I'd never run out of things to do with Nick.

Finally, I let him pull me into his arms. Straddling him on the bed, I moaned loudly, abandoning my thoughts of Jeremy as I lost myself in the feel of his hands on my body as he untied my robe, exposing my breasts. His breath warmed my skin as his lips finally pulled my erect nipple into his waiting mouth.

"More, Nick. God." He nodded, increasing his pressure as sucked on me, running his rough tongue over my sensitive flesh as his other hand caressed my ass.

Reaching down, I pushed the fabric away from his cock grabbing him and feeling his entire body shudder as I touched him. He was already wet and waiting for me. I could sense the desperation in every movement he made. Usually we were whispering naughty things to one another by now. But that wasn't what we needed now. Not today.

Today I was lost in the sound of his breathing. Relishing every movement until he finally sank inside me, and then stopped suddenly to look into my eyes.

"Thank you, Rachel."

"What?"

Pulling my legs up over his shoulders, he sank even deeper inside me and I cried out. "For everything. For that," he nodded to my hand on his chest, the small stone sparkling in the candlelight. "I didn't think you'd ever… After… I just didn't…"

As if he couldn't bring himself to say the words, he stopped trying to talk and dropped his head onto my chest. I stroked his scalp and pulled his hair, urging him to move. He took my lead, quickening his pace, filling me more with every thrust until we both exploded, following one another into the ecstasy we knew we could find again.

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