Oreos for Breakfast: Chapter 28

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 32
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

Where the hell was he?

I clicked off the television and grabbed my cell phone to find the time. 11:30. I left him with his buddies downstairs two hours ago and he said he'd be right behind me. Well, I didn't expect him to be up in a minute, but two fucking hours was stretching it.

Our relationship was becoming a rock star cliché, wasn't it? We never saw one another. Temptation on the road. Writing lousy songs about love and heartbreak.

Okay, that last one might just be me. Because Nick was writing great songs now. Even I had to admit that some of the early ones were… well, not his best effort. Insipid? Juvenile? I bet Vinnie and Tony loved that stupid "Girls in the USA" crap. Watch - that would be the first single and be an international hit and heralded as this generation's answer to the Beach Boys.

You know that when you giggle at your own internal monologue you have been alone too long.

I was standing in the elevator with a pair of old sweatpants and Nick's boat racing t-shirt thrown over my slinky lingerie before I even realized what I was doing. The elevator doors opened and I ran right into Bob. Shit.

"Rachel! What are you doing down here? I thought Nicky went up an hour ago."

Double shit!

"Umm… I was just…"

"Babydoll!" Nick's drunk voice boomed from the general direction of the bar and I smiled at Bob.

"Coming to collect him. I think the whisky has impaired his sense of direction."

The woman standing next to Bob giggled and whispered something into his ear. Did I want to know who this woman was? His back stiffened and he moved away from the trashy blonde's embrace. "Whisky will do that to the Carter men."

Is that what made them fall for the trashy blondes, too? Was this woman really going upstairs with a married man? Did she think that fucking Bob would get her to Nick?

I tried not to stare as we said polite goodbyes and they stepped into the elevator. She could be a Nick fan or maybe just a boating groupie. They had those. Just proves that every sport has fans.

"Baby girl…" Nick slurred, planting a sloppy drunk kiss on my cheek. I think he'd been aiming for my mouth, but missed.

"Lose your way, Nick?" I stated flatly and he moved away quickly.

"I was on my way up, Rachel. I said I'd be a minute."

Even drunk, he could manage to have that petulant, annoyed voice. Amazing. I tried hard not to smirk. He'd told me the other day that I did that. Wrinkled my nose or smirked when I was annoyed with him.

I was growing more than just annoyed with every second that passed.

"No, you said you were right behind me. And it's been over an hour."

"Whatever. I'm here now. I'll go up with you now, how's that?"

"Are you doing me a favor now, Nick? Maybe I should just go get another room so you can continue the party upstairs?"

He just blinked at me for a moment and my heart stopped, part of me scared that he'd agree with me. What would I do if he agreed?

Fall apart and then kick him the balls.

"Stop it," I told her, stepping on to the elevator. She just looked at me and I held open the door. "Are you coming?"

She stepped on the elevator with me and we stood in silence as the doors shut, taking us up to our room. Five minutes ago, I'd been happy. I'd had a couple of drinks with my friends and I was going to go back to my girl.

But she was coming to collect me, like I was a little kid. I didn't have a fucking curfew. So, I wasn't by her side for an hour or so. It was her choice not to come to the bar with me.

Okay, if she didn't want to go to the bar, maybe I shouldn't have gone. But did I have to do everything she wanted, all the time? Couldn't I do what I wanted once in a while?

My whole life I had to do what other people wanted- my mom, or Dad, or teachers, or Lou, or the band. I was twenty-two fucking years old and this was the first time I was doing what I wanted. Screw her if I wanted to have a beer to celebrate the fact that my boat had won the race. If she were a good girlfriend, she would have been celebrating with me.

There had been plenty of girls at the bar. I wasn't interested, because I knew Rachel was waiting for me, but a couple of the girls were definately interested in me.

Rachel should have been there. Maybe she needed to see that she wasn't the only one who wanted me.

We walked down the hallway to our room without talking, and she let us in. I sat on the edge of the bed, kicking off my shoes. "Looks like you settled in," I said, looking around. The bed was all messed up, and I knew all her clothes were hanging up in the closet.

"I had plenty of time to unpack," she said, standing there.

"I was gone for like an hour!" I said.

"Two!" she countered. "And the last I heard, you were 'right behind' me."

I leaned back on my hands, looking at her. "I was waiting for the naughty pictures."

"You think you should get a reward for treating me like this? Bullshit."

He got up, coming over to me. "Come on, baby, we know why you're so upset. I'm sorry I made you wait."

I just glared at him as he put an arm around my waist, discovering the silk I had on underneath the t-shirt I was wearing. "I even get lingerie," he said with a leer, and I stepped away from him.

"Fat lot of good it did me." I'd spent far too much money on it, too. I should add up all the plane tickets and phone bills and lingerie I'd bought in an effort to get my boyfriend to remember who the fuck I was lately.

"Show it to me," he said, and I shook my head.

"No. You missed your chance. Now I'm just pissed off."

"I can fix that," he bragged, heading towards me, and I ducked out of his way.

"Stop it," I said, pulling off my t-shirt and stepping out of the sweatpants I was wearing, so that he could see the cute red silk nightgown I had on. "This is what you missed."

"This is why I needed the picture, baby. If I had seen this, I would have been right up here."

"I shouldn't need to send you a fucking picture when I'm right here!" I ripped off the nightgown, tossing it across the room. "You can sleep on the sofa. I claim the bed."

I started across the room to get something else to wear, but he grabbed me. "Neither one of us is sleeping for a while," he said, leaning down to kiss me.

I fought him for a second, but as his tongue invaded my mouth, I felt myself give in. I had had grand plans for tonight, and I hated to…

I hated myself for giving in.

After a moment of struggle, she responded to my kiss, and I felt myself smile. Of course she was mad. She'd been lying here in the room thinking about sex, and I was ignoring her. I could make that up to her. She'd forget all about how mad she was in a couple of minutes.

Once she was finally holding on to me, I moved my hand, stroking her skin, and she whimpered against my lips. Success. She was all mine now.

"I'm sorry, baby," I whispered to her. "I shouldn't have left you all alone."

She pulled away slightly. "Shut up," she said. "Or I'll just get pissed off again."

"Should I be using my mouth for other things?" I asked, and she gave me half of a smile.

"You owe me."

I pushed her towards the bed, and she sat on the edge, spreading her legs for me. This was my favorite way to apologize.

I knelt in front of her, kissing my way up her leg, until she yanked at my hair lightly. "I've been sitting here for two freaking hours waiting for you."

"What's another couple of minutes?"

She pulled my hair. "Don't push me."

Smiling, I ran my tongue up her thigh, finally nuzzling into her pussy, and she fell back onto the bed with a sigh. "Yes," she breathed. "Just a little… I…"

Normally, she'd be begging me for more, so I licked at her carefully, trying not to get carried away. I'd had too much to drink, and I was afraid I might hurt her.

But she moaned when I let my lips close around her clit, arching her hips up to me, and I used my hands, pressing inside her slightly.

"No," she said, her voice hoarse. "I want your cock inside me. Nothing else. In a minute. Don't stop."

I moved my hands, reaching up to stroke her body, and she trembled slightly under my touch. "Harder," she begged, and I sucked at her clit, tracing small circles on it with my tongue, and she cried out. "That's… I… no," she said, and I looked up at her. "Fuck me."

I didn't need another invitation, and I stood up, yanking off my clothes. "Did you notice the mirror?" she asked, rolling over and pulling a condom out of the box on the bedside table.

I looked around, and noticed the mirror was right across from the bed. "Should I get the camera?" I asked, and she scowled at me.

"That was a one time only deal. The mirror will have to do."

That was okay. I didn't want to fuck around with where to put the camera, anyway. I just wanted to be inside her and feel her surrounding me.

Reaching out, she took my cock in her hand, rolling the condom on, then she rolled over on the bed, settling on her hands and knees in front of the mirror. Perfect.

I stroked her back, holding on to her hips as I sank inside her, and we both moaned loudly. I looked up, meeting her eyes in the mirror. "Fuck me," she said, and I did, thrusting into her roughly.

She cried out my name in response, moving her hips back into mine. I liked the way we looked in to the mirror. It was like watching porn, only I wasn't stuck by myself in a hotel room. Rachel was right here, moaning beneath me, begging for more.

I reached around, finding her clit, and she shuddered. "I'm so close, baby," she bit out. "Just right… oh, fuck!"

She came, shuddering around me, and I pounded inside her harder. I loved knowing I could make her come like that, and I almost gave myself a high five in the mirror.

She wasn't mad at me any more. I got sex and I got Rachel to forget I was a jerk. Life was good.

He came with a groan and froze for a moment, his hands gripping my hips fiercely as he caught his breath.

Sighing, he fell back on the bed. "That was… fuck, I needed that."

I turned around, looking at him. "I needed that"? What the fuck?

He was lying spread-eagled on the bed, his eyes closed, blissful. Blissful all in his own little world.

I grabbed a tissue and dealt with the condom. He looked really silly with that on. "Thanks, baby," he said, not even opening his eyes.

We were quiet for a minute, and then he held out a hand to me. "Come 'ere, baby. That was worth waiting for, wasn't it?"

"Ten minutes of sex after two fucking hours of waiting? Hardly."

Sighing, he opened his eyes. "You didn't seem mad a minute ago."

"I was stupid a minute ago. I shouldn't have let you use sex to solve our problems." But he touched me and I got carried away and it was so much like Jeremy I couldn't stand myself. Hadn't I learned my lessons with Jeremy? I'd be damned if spent another four years of my life trying to hold on to something that had never been there in the first place.

"Obviously it didn't solve them," Nick said, sitting up and reaching for me. "Let's try again."

"No," I said, getting off the bed and opening the dresser drawer that held my underwear. I had to put something on. Naked was bad. I'd been trying to change into something decidedly unsexy when we got all distracted with the sex thing.

"Rache…" he said, as I pulled on a pair of underwear and an old t-shirt.

"At least you remember my name," I said, stepping into my jeans. When I turned around, he was behind me, trying to take me into his arms, and I pushed him away. "Don't!"

He stumbled as I pushed him, and he straightened up, glaring at me. "What the fuck is going on?"

"I don't know!" I screamed in answer. "I just… you… I came here this weekend to be with you!"

"And we've been together! What the fuck is your problem?"

"We have had no time together besides the last twenty minutes. All day, we've been with your freaking boat team."

"You knew what this weekend was when you said you'd come here. I never promised you a romantic weekend. I'm here for the race, not for you."

He pulled on his pants while I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. "You asked me to be here. I thought you wanted me here."

"I asked you here because you were freaking out on the phone about how we never see each other. I thought you'd be happy to be with me. My fucking boat won today and you didn't even care. All day you've been pouting. Do you blame me for wanting a couple of hours to just enjoy myself?"

"I have not been pouting! I'm glad you won the race, but besides buying the fucking thing, you didn't do much to contribute to that win, darling."

"Fuck you! I put the team together. They wouldn't be here without me."

"And your name is everywhere to prove it. Or is that just there so the groupies know where to find you?"

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "I don't need a sign for the groupies to find me."

"I hate this cocky fucking attitude of yours. You are…" I stopped myself. I was mad, but I wasn't that mad. Yet.

"What? What am I, Rachel? A washed-up has-been at age twenty-two?"

"I didn't say that!"

"You were going to."

No, I wasn't.

I was going to say that his solo album was typical pop, and not the rock opus he seemed to think it was. But I knew better then to kick a man in the music.

"I was going to say that I don't know this egotistical jerk that's in front of me."

Close enough.

"Only because you like making sure that I'm insecure and needy, because it makes you feel special. Maybe I'm over that."

"I do not like making you insecure and needy!" Do I? "Are you saying that before I met you, you were an arrogant bastard?"

"I used to be a lot more sure of myself, yeah."

"You were a teenager! All teenagers are fucking full of themselves. Don't blame that on me. Backstreet was basically imploding a year ago. That was hardly my fault."

"Whatever. I'm just saying, get used to it. If you don't like it, there are a couple of blondes downstairs in the bar who would just love to be in your place."

"Don't even go there, Nick," I warned. "Just… don't."

"Or what?"

I didn't know the man in front of me. I really didn't. I'd never seen him like this. We'd had our problems, but I did not recognize the look in his eyes.

"Or…" I shrugged. "I'm not going to play those games. If you want the blondes, you can have them. I'll go back to LA."

"To Justin, you mean."

"You have got to be fucking joking. I had coffee with Justin one day."

"Two!"

I sat down in the chair in the corner of the room, unable to stand there and look at him any longer. "Stop it," I said quietly. "What the hell are we doing?"

"You started it," he accused, but he sat down on the bed across from me, the anger leaving his body.

"Maybe I did. But only because I was hurt that you didn't want to be with me today."

"I did want to be with you. I was with you!" But that wasn't entirely true. This weekend was supposed to be about me and the guys, and I was annoyed that I had to take care of Rachel all day. I thought I'd hid that from her, but I guess not.

"You weren't with me. Not the way I wanted you to be."

I started to yell at her again, but I stopped myself. She was right. I was a jerk. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. We won't go to the races tomorrow, we'll go somewhere else and just be together."

She considered that for a moment, then shook her head. "No. I'll take an earlier flight back to LA tomorrow. You hang out with your friends. I elbowed my way into this weekend, and you didn't want me here."

"Rache! I always want to be with you. You know that."

She shook her head, disagreeing with me. "You don't want to be with me lately. This weekend is okay. I know now that I shouldn't have come. You've been working hard and you wanted to be with the guys and have fun. That's okay. You're allowed to do that."

Leaning forward, I took her hands, and she bowed her head. I knew she was trying not to cry.

Why was I hurting her like this? All day, she'd felt like a burden, and now I'd do anything to make it up to her. I was a total shit.

"I have more fun with you than anyone else in the world, ever. I just… I forgot that a little."

"I haven't been any fun lately. I know that. I just… I try. But I don't know your new friends, and they don't seem to have much time for me, or any women, and I feel like we are a total mess and I want so much from you and it's too much to ask, and I know that. I know that."

"What do you want from me? Just ask."

She didn't look up at me. "I don't know. Everything. Last summer back. I know it's not new anymore, us, this, and it gets old, and it's hard to keep up a relationship when we're both so fucking busy all the time, and all over the world and not together, but I feel like I try to work on us and I don't get any of it back from you and I can't do that anymore." Her voice broke, and I moved closer to her, leaning my forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I love you so much, Rachel."

With a little sob, she threw her arms around me, burying her head in my chest. "I love you, too, and I don't want to lose you."

"You're not. I'm not going anywhere."

"You're going everywhere! All over the place, with your album, and I want to come with you, but I can't."

"Come here." Pulling her into my arms, I settled her on my lap, and she curled into my body. She felt so good. When was the last time we'd done this? Not fought like this, but just sat together.

"You don't have to come with me everywhere."

"It was different last year. You were on tour, but you had free time to talk to me. Now I can never talk to you."

"I know. I'm sorry. But they've got me doing so much for the album, I just…"

"I know," she said. "I know all of this, and I know I shouldn't be freaking out, but I miss you, and when I do get to talk to you, it's like you don't miss me at all."

"I do miss you!" Sometimes. When I had the time to think about her. And then I missed her so much it just hurt, so it was easier not to think about her.

She hugged me tighter. "You need to tell me that sometimes."

"I will," I promised. I'd try. "It's just going to be rough, this summer."

"And the fall," she said. "You have everything leading up to the single release, then it's the album a couple of months after that."

"What are you doing this fall?"

"Recording, I guess."

"Can you try to be free? I'm going to be spending a lot of time in Europe. Anna will be with me, so when I'm working, but not performing, you could hang out with her."

"You're sure I won't be in the way?"

"Never!"

She looked up at me with a smile. "I could try that. I need to talk to Lola and the guys, but I could spend the fall in Europe."

I grinned at her. "I want you there when the album comes out. Every song is about you. You should be there."

She kissed me. "I want to be there."

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