Oreos for Breakfast: Chapter 28

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 32
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

My hip buzzed, and the girl sitting next to me giggled. "What is that?"

Was it bad that she was sitting so close to me that she could feel my phone when it vibrated?

Probably. But I didn't care. She was pretty and blond and nice. It was okay for me to flirt. Rachel said so.

I was sure she was flirting with someone in LA right now. Justin fucking Timberlake, probably.

"My phone," I said, pulling it out of my pocket and looking at the display.

Okay, Rachel was probably not flirting with anyone if she was calling me.

"Anyone interesting?" the girl asked, and I shook my head, putting my phone back in my pocket. It could go to voicemail.

"Not as interesting as you, sweetheart. What was your name again?"

"Jude," she said with a smile.

"Hey, Jude," I said. I could remember that one. "You get that a lot, don't you?"

She nodded. "My dad is a Beatles freak. Personally, I think I could have gotten a more interesting Beatles name out of the deal. Jude seems pretty obvious."

I reached out, touching her shoulder lightly. "Sexy Sadie would fit."

Smiling, she leaned closer to me. "Maybe now. But when I was a baby, that would have been a little weird."

My hip vibrated again before I could think of any other Beatles songs with girls' names. Damnit.

I didn't want to talk to Rachel now. I just didn't. I'd had a long day of meetings. Wasn't I allowed to go out and have a drink with my friends and flirt with a pretty girl? Nothing was going to happen. I just… I didn't want to talk to Rachel.

Every time we talked lately, it ended up in a fight. I was sick of it. It was easier not to talk to her.

I pulled out my phone and switched it off. I didn't care about work, and Vinnie and Tony were in this club somewhere. They'd find me eventually. I didn't want to talk to anyone but this pretty girl smiling at me right now.

Jude lifted her eyebrows questioningly when I switched off my phone, and I smiled at her. "Lovely Rita, meter maid?" I asked, and she smiled. She had a really pretty smile.

Nine in the morning LA time. Noon his. Seven messages later, and he finally called me back. While I was trying to leave to get to the studio. Figured. I took my phone outside, next to the pool. "Hey, bunny," I said, sitting on a chair and looking out over the pool.

"Hey, baby. How are you?"

Baby. Whatever happened to 'buttercup'? I liked 'buttercup'. It was dorky, but it was ours. He called every female of a certain age 'baby'.

Who had he been calling 'baby' last night?

"Fine. You sound a little rough."

He yawned. "Yeah. I was out late with the guys, but I don't have anything today until dinnertime."

Quiet for a second. "Didn't have your phone on last night?"

"You know how it is in the clubs, Rache. I couldn't hear it."

"It has a vibrate setting."

"Maybe I just wanted to go out and enjoy myself last night. I had a long day, and I needed to have a little fun."

How much fun? We'd barely spoken to each other in the last couple of weeks. Every few days, maybe. A week or so ago, we'd made a date and we both watched the tape we'd made… that was nice. Almost like old times, phone sex and giggling with one another.

I sighed. I knew part of the reason I was so mad was because I was scared to tell him what I needed to tell him. "Okay," I said. "I just… did you listen to my messages? I have something to tell you."

"I listened to a couple, then I just wanted to talk to you. What's up?"

"We're going on tour again."

"You are?" He was perplexed. We had toured the hell out of this album, and needed to be writing more material. "It must be good. Opening for Duran Duran?"

"No." Although that might be great, too. "Us, Garbage and No Doubt."

We got compared to No Doubt all the time, one girl and three guys, past relationships in the band, all of that… but I'd never considered myself anywhere near their league. Never.

And Garbage… Shirley Manson was the sexiest woman in the world. I would watch her every night and take notes on how to be cool.

"Wow," he said, sincere. "Rachel, that is amazing. Wow."

"We're opening. Obviously. I can't believe we're going to be on the same stage!"

"You should be headlining," he said. "You are way cooler than either of them."

I laughed. "I wish. Shirley Manson is one of my idols. She's fucking amazing. So is Gwen. Gwen's always been more competition, though."

"Not to me."

"You're good for my ego. Thank you."

"So when is this? I can't wait to see it."

"Well…"

That was the problem.

"This fall. October and November."

He was quiet. "You're supposed to be with me then."

"I know," I said carefully. "But this…"

"But this is more important."

"No," she said. "It's not more important. It's just… it was a hard decision, Nick."

"That you made without even talking to me."

"Because I couldn't get you on the phone!" she snapped. "This has been going on all week, and I haven't been able to talk to you for more than a couple of minutes at a time."

"If you had told me it was something this important, I could have made time."

"I did," she growled. "Three days ago, I told you we needed to talk, and you said you'd call me that night and you never did."

I figured we had to talk about us, and I didn't want to deal with it. We'd be together in New York next week, wasn't that soon enough for her to tell me what a jerk I'd been lately?

"I was busy!" I protested.

"So am I!" she countered. "I have a career, too, and when you couldn't make the time for me this week, I figured why the fuck should I put my career on hold to be with you when you obviously don't care?"

"I care! I just have a lot on my plate right now. If you could stop being so fucking selfish, maybe you would be a little more supportive of what I'm going through."

"I'm selfish? Me? Fuck you. My career is about three guys that I love, and I could not let them down and say no to this tour to try and save a relationship that I'm not sure is worth saving. Believe me, nothing I'm doing right now is selfish. My entire life is about the band or you right now and sometimes those things just don't fit together."

"Yeah, you're such a fucking victim. Poor Rachel, no one understands her."

She hung up on me. Fuck her. I wasn't interested in continuing this conversation anyway.

I started to throw my phone in the pool, but I restrained myself. I might not want it now, but I probably would later.

Much later.

I was not playing the victim. Nick had a lot going on right now, and so did I. Only none of his stuff revolved around me, and most of mine revolved around him.

If I was a solo artist, and Garbage and No Doubt had asked me to open for them, what would I have done?

What would Joan Jett do? I had a t-shirt that asked that question, and I knew the answer.

She'd go on the fucking tour, screw her stupid boyfriend.

Although I was pretty sure that Joan Jett was a lesbian. So maybe she'd tell her girlfriend to fuck off. Whatever. Same idea.

Okay, I wasn't just going on the tour because my band needed me. I was going on the tour because I wanted to. I wanted to go on tour with two bands that I idolized. Two bands that looked like mine. It was a little weird, mixing boys and girls in bands the way we did. I was always a little jealous of all girl groups, the way they could talk to each other in ways I could never talk to my boys.

Anna was in a girl group. Maybe we could add another band to the bill. She'd rather tour with me than Nick, wouldn't she?

Now I was getting petty. I should not be trying to steal his friends.

I started stalking around the pool, kicking at things in my way. It wasn't even like he wanted me in Europe with him. He wasn't sad and hurt that I'd picked the band. He was just pissy and petty, because it was a blow to his fucking over-inflated ego that I hadn't picked him.

He hadn't picked me first in months now. Why did I always have to be the one running to him?

"Shall I assume it didn't go well?"

I turned to find James considering me, just outside the door that led to the house.

"He's pissed."

"That's good, right? Because he wanted you to be with him?"

"No. He never said he'd miss me or anything. He just wanted me to be his beck and call girl in Europe."

My phone rang, and James looked down at it. "It's him," he said.

"Answer it. I won't talk to him unless he's going to apologize."

James answered her phone. "Hello, Nick."

"Are you screening her calls now?"

"No," he said. "I'm just standing next to her phone. Are you calling to apologize?"

"I'm calling to… yes," I said with a sigh. Sorta.

"He says he's going to apologize," James said, and I was sure that Rachel gave him one of her best disbelieving looks. I could almost feel it.

"Hello," she said, her voice short.

"Okay, first of all, you're totally going on this tour for you, not for the guys. So don't be all the victim there."

"You're right. Fine."

"Second, if you had said you were offered a tour for the fall, I would have made the time to talk to you."

"You couldn't make the time to talk to me anyway?"

I took a deep breath. I had to be a little honest here. "All we do is fight, Rachel. I figured you just wanted to tell me what an ass I am."

"You are."

"I know!" I said. "I know! I'm trying not to be right now, okay?"

Her voice was calmer when she spoke, a little bit of a smile in it. "Okay."

"Third, if you had asked me about the tour, I would have told you to go. It's a great opportunity." Was I up to three? I had three points when I was planning this call.

"Thank you," she said softly. "Apology accepted."

"I freaked out because I want you to come to Europe with me, Rache." I did. I wanted to work on our relationship, because I felt it slipping away from me, and I knew we had to be together to do that.

But maybe two months from now was too long to wait.

"I want to be there, too, bunny," she said. "I do."

"We'll be together in New York next week, right?"

"Absolutely," she said. "I can't wait to leave LA."

"We need… I want to see you."

"Me too," she said. "I can't wait."

"Next week, we'll talk, okay? I promise. I will clear my schedule the day you come in and it'll just be us."

"The next day, maybe?" she asked, and I smiled at the phone at her worried tone.

"Do you have plans for the day you get in?"

"James and JC and I are going to see Joey in 'Rent' that night."

"Joey's in 'Rent'?" How did he score a role on Broadway?

Joey? He wasn't even the cute one!

"He is," Rachel said. "He opens that weekend or something. Evidently he was always the theatre geek. When is AJ going to do 'Phantom of the Opera'?"

"Probably the minute anyone offers it to him. I'll come with you to 'Rent'."

"You will?"

"Rache, who was in 'Phantom' when he was ten? I like Broadway stuff. And 'Rent' is really cool. It's a date."

"Okay," she said, and I could feel her grin. "We can double date with James and JC."

I laughed. "Fabulous."

"Bunny, I've got to get to the studio, okay? I'll call later when I get a break."

"I'll be around. Love you, buttercup."

"You too, bunny."

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