Oreos for Breakfast: Chapter 28

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 33
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

What the hell was I doing here? It's not like I'd never been out with Justin before, but it'd never been like this. Had Saffron invited all these photographers and told them where we'd be? Or were they always hanging out around this restaurant?

The flashes were blinding me and I felt Justin's arm hold me tighter. It felt nice to have a guy's arm around my waist again. It's strange how you grow accustomed to these things. Being able to hold someone's hand and lean over and run your fingers through their hair.

"You said you wanted to be seen," Justin said and I forced myself not to stick out my tongue at him. That wasn't the kind of picture I wanted splashed all over the tabloids tomorrow. Were we big enough news to even make the tabloids or should my skirt be shorter?

"Is that your equivalent of saying 'told you so'?"

"Nope, this is."

Before I knew it, his lips were on mine and I closed my eyes just so the flashes wouldn't blind me. The fucker… he was a good kisser. His lips were soft and his tongue darted against mine briefly before he was gone, leaving me stunned.

"What the hell was that?" I demanded as soon as we were safely inside the restaurant. A short Italian man offered to take my wrap and I shook my head, turning back to Justin. "Well?"

"Chill. It's a date. Just lending some authenticity." Without missing a beat, he smiled at the short man, "Mario! This is Rachel Connor. You know, of that great band I keep telling you about."

"Yes, yes… we saw Ms. Connor win her awards the other night. Congratulations. And now a new trophy, huh?" He seemed like a nice enough man. In fact, the way he was motioning toward Justin and smiling, I half thought maybe he was a matchmaker or Justin's grandfather. "You like our Justin, right? Such a good boy."

I couldn't stop the eye roll now and Justin laughed. I'd thought Nick was a good boy, too. And look where that got me. Heartbreak. I'd said it before, but I meant it now. No more musicians. Especially not boyband boys. Even if they did think they'd grown up and gone solo.

"It smells amazing in here! I'm sure you put my lasagna to shame! I'll have to bring my family here."

Mario and Justin went with my change of subject and I was relieved.

"He's not on my payroll, you know. I just eat here whenever we're in New York."

What was it about this guy that allowed him to get away with murder? He and Nick were so much alike in that respect. I'd seen Justin cheating on his girlfriend right in front of my eyes, but it never seemed to matter. Did Nick's friends see the same thing?

"He seems like a great guy. Just a little too insistent. I felt like he was about to ask about my dowry."

"Well, you do own property, I hear. Nice place on the lake."

"Bay. But yeah." I almost invited him up to see my house, but stopped myself. I needed to stop letting people get too close. The Point house was mine, and it was already too full of memories of Nick. "It's been in my family for years. But a bitch to get to. Maybe I need a place in the city."

"You can afford it now. Live a little and splash out on a Central Park condo. JC told me he's looking at places here."

"He is?" That meant something, didn't it? JC had to be doing that for James.

Justin started to say something, but Mario interrupted us again. Would we take a picture with his chef? And how about with some of the patrons? Twenty minutes later we were finally finished with the photo op and I was starving.

"Okay, you need to feed me now or I'm going to be cranky!"

Justin laughed, ordering us both huge plates of pasta that looked better than anything I'd managed to make on my own. "Wow, this is amazing. Party in my mouth. I'm definitely not bringing the family here, or they'll never let me cook again!"

"Was that enough photographs there for you?"

"Somehow, I don't think that Saffie was behind those. These PR dates are pretty bizarre, aren't they? Thank you, by the way."

Justin shrugged, offering me a bite of his pasta. The cream sauce was amazing. "Think he'll share the recipe with me?" I asked.

"Only if you really do agree to marry me."

"Damn, because that was good." We shared another smile and I felt his leg brush against mine underneath the table and I moved back.

We ate in silence until Justin cleared his throat. "So is it me or what?"

I looked at him for a moment trying to figure out if he was being serious. "What do you mean?"

"Moving away. Avoiding me all tour, but agreeing to this date. I know it's a PR stunt and I'm okay with that. It's just… you know I like you, right?"

Shit. This was supposed to be a fun, lighthearted night. JC promised the Justin understood that. "Justin, you can't be serious. You just broke up with Britney and I just broke up with Nick. Damn, this is like some silly fanfic, isn't it?"

He had to smile at that. "Only you'd have to be a fan of mine first. Or maybe we hire you as a dancer."

"Costume designer. I've always wanted to learn how to sew."

"Okay then. Costume designer and we stole you away from Backstreet."

"Because suddenly I couldn't live if I didn't bedazzle everything I touched!"

We both laughed and several heads turned in our direction. "Shhh! Or they'll think you actually like being with me, Rache."

"I do, Justin. I just… we're a bad idea and you know it. I should have stuck to my rule when Nick pursued me. Then I wouldn't be in this position."

"What rule is that?"

"No musicians. And I'm amending that now. No boybanders. Ever again. Sorry."

"That's okay. I'm solo now, baby! And I technically don't play an instrument. Do I still count as a musician?"

I just smiled, taking another drink of my wine. I'd decide later.

"I figured out why you've been such an asshole today."

"More than usual?" Vinnie asked in response to Anna's statement. But she wasn't talking to him. She hadn't even said hello when she came into the hotel bar. She just told me I'd been an asshole.

Okay, I'd yelled at her a little during rehearsal. But I was here in the bar trying to drink myself into being happier, couldn't she see that?

I mean, Anna was my friend. If I was being a jerk during rehearsal, she should understand.

"Sorry," I said to her. That's what she wanted to hear, wasn't it? "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Especially considering it was that lousy drummer you hired that fucked up, yeah. But I know why you're on edge."

I wasn't on edge! I was fine.

"Ooh, you yelled at Anna?" Vinnie said.

Anna didn't even acknowledge him. "Rachel went out with Justin Timberlake last night, and it's all over the tabloids."

Did she have to say that in front of Vinnie? He howled, and I took another drink of my beer.

"She can date whoever she wants," I said to the bottle.

"Wow, she really does go from one pop star to another, doesn't she? I always knew she was a gold digger."

"Shut up," I snapped, glaring at Vinnie. "Don't say one more word."

He shrugged. "Whatever. She did date the guy that would get her the most publicity, though."

"That's fucking bullshit."

"I just saw it on Entertainment Tonight," Anna said. "It was the lead story."

My date with Paris had gotten a paragraph in the New York Post. Rachel was the lead story on Entertainment Tonight?

She never got publicity like that when we were dating.

"Good for her," I said, taking another drink, but Anna took the bottle out of my hand.

"Stop it!" she said. "Don't drink this away, and don't take it out on your fucking band. I know it hurts you that Rachel was out with him."

"I'm fine!"

"You are not fine! You're a fucking mess."

I glared at her. "Leave me alone, Anna."

"I have been leaving you alone!"

"You're in my face every other fucking minute. That is not leaving me alone. I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine."

"Rachel is history and our Nicky is back," Vinnie said, slapping me on the shoulder. "What's to talk about?"

Anna started to yell something, and then caught herself. "Whatever," she said. "Rachel didn't like this Nick any more than I do. If that's the guy you want to be, fine. Find a new bass player."

She stalked out of the bar and I followed her, grabbing her arm and making her turn around. "Don't walk away from me!"

"Let me go," she said, her voice low and angry.

"No!" I yelled, shaking her a little. "Don't fucking walk away from me! Maybe I've been a jerk, but you don't get to just give up on me like that! You are supposed to love me more than that!"

Anna pulled her arm out of my grip. "I'm not giving up on you. Neither did Rachel."

"What's leaving? That's fucking giving up in my book."

"What, she was supposed to stay while you treated her like crap?"

"I'm not treating you like crap!"

"Are we talking about me or Rachel?"

"Stop saying her name!"

I couldn't stand it. I'd managed to go a few days without thinking about her.

Okay, I hadn't thought about her much. Not in depth. I'd think about her, and distract myself with something else. Vinnie and I had been going out a lot, so by the time I got back to my room, I was so tired and drunk I'd just fall asleep.

Or I'd have a girl with me, and then it was easy to think of other things.

But now Anna kept saying her name. Anna was here every day, giving me those worried girl looks and asking how I was. Every time I saw her, I remembered how much Rachel liked her, and how the three of us always had fun together and how Anna was the only other person in my life who understood me the way Rachel did.

Maybe I'd been a little mean to Anna lately.

She was standing in front of me now, in the middle of the hotel lobby, not angry any longer. Now she just had that concerned look on her face again.

"Avoiding her name makes it really difficult to talk about her," she said quietly, and I felt hot tears in my eyes.

Damnit, how many people were staring at us? Had I really been yelling at her a minute ago?

Anna took my hand, leading me towards the elevator. "Come and talk to me for a minute, Nick."

I let her lead me. I couldn't really see through my tears anyway.

The elevator was empty, and we were quiet as it took us up to her floor.

"Do you talk to her?" I asked, as Anna started down the hall to her room.

"She hasn't returned any of my calls," she said, opening the door and waving me inside.

Her room was so neat. We'd been at this hotel for a couple of weeks now, and my room was a disaster. The maids came in the morning and just made the bed, but they didn't touch the rest of it. It was too chaotic.

Rachel always…

I collapsed on to the little couch, my head in my hands. Every time I thought about Rachel I got a headache lately. All the more reason to not think about her.

"She must really hate me if she won't talk to you."

Anna sat next to me. "I doubt that. It's only been a week or so. She needs to get used to the idea, and I was your friend first."

"Then I get you in the divorce, right?"

"I'm not picking sides. Can you tell me what happened?"

"We broke up."

"I figured that much out, since you were hanging all over Paris freaking Hilton and she was out with Justin Timberlake last night."

"He's always wanted her, and I knew she wanted him."

"Don't be ridiculous."

I looked over at her, and she poked my shoulder.

"You've always done this with her. Is your self-image really so low that you believe that she ever looked at another guy while you were together? She doesn't want Justin freaking Timberlake. He's an idiot. She just did that to get back at you for going out with Paris Hilton the night after the two of you broke up."

"We didn't break up because of Paris."

"Well, thank god, because then I'd lose all respect for you. I love you, baby, but you have horrible taste in women. I so thought that Rachel had changed that trend, but you reverted right back to type."

"Paris was nothing. It was just…"

"Tell me you didn't want that to get back to Rachel."

I couldn't. I knew we'd be in the papers.

Anna read my face and shook her head. "Then you can't blame her for going out with Justin. Would you just call her already and fix this?"

Shaking my head, I slumped lower into the couch. "I can't."

"You can. Call her up and say you're sorry. She will be happy to hear your voice. I know it."

I just shook my head again. This wasn't just a little fight. Anna didn't understand.

"She loves you!" Anna insisted. "This cannot be forever."

"Six months," I said.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Six months," I repeated. "We have to be apart for six months and see what happens."

"Then it's not over?"

"Oh, it's over. She's going to find some nice guy who can give her everything she wants in six months."

"She's hoping that in six months you come to your senses."

I shook my head. "You weren't there. It's over. She disappeared the next day. She did not want me to find her."

"You're supposed to be apart for six months!"

"I was supposed to find her! That's what always happens. We fight, and then I find her and we make up. That's what we do. But she didn't want me to find her this time. It's not just six months. It's forever."

"Maybe she really just wants the time, Nick. What happened that you broke up? It was the night of the VMAs. That should have been a good night."

Shutting my eyes, I thought about it. "It was supposed to be."

Anna had been the one that convinced me to flake out of the video shoot to be there with Rachel.

If I had stayed to do the video, would we still be together?

We might be sorta miserable, but we'd be together.

"But she was busy, and Ken was on my ass about being there at all, and both of us were too distracted by other things to really be together. So we had a big fight and she packed up her stuff and left."

"Just like that," Anna challenged, and I shrugged.

"Pretty much."

"Where does the six months come in? What started the fight?"

I just shook my head, my eyes scanning the room. She had to have alcohol in here somewhere. She didn't have the rock star suite, but at least she got a fridge, right? "Where's your beer?"

"Nope. You're talking to me, not Vinnie. No alcohol to get you through."

I attempted my Carter charm, forgetting momentarily that she was immune to it. She just laughed at me, going over to the fridge and handing me a bottle of water. "In fact, you should sober up a bit."

"No. Not happening. I can't talk about it. Not sober."

"Well, staying drunk every night doesn't seem to be helping, Nick. C'mon, tell me what happened that night. I can interpret it for you."

"Girls. You have a fuckin' secret language. You should write a manual or something. Give us guys some help here."

"And lose any advantage we have? Hell no!"

We both smiled at that and she leaned back against the back of the couch, looking at me in that way that girls had. That way that told you in one glance that you weren't getting out of "the talk." Feelings.

Now my head really hurt. Looking over to the dim hallway I could almost hear Rachel crying as we sat on the floor a week ago.

Anna poked me and I looked back at her, "I can't talk about it, Anna. It was… I used to make her feel like the queen of the prom, she said. And I don't anymore. I couldn't love her the way she wanted."

"That's so not true! I've seen you with her. You adore her."

I shrugged, "You haven't seen us lately. She's right. All summer I've been avoiding her. Picking fights because I knew that I could. Stupid shit."

"Why, Nick?"

I took a drink of water, hoping that my magical rock star powers would turn it into straight vodka, but I didn't have that much luck. I had no luck, actually. If I had any then Rachel would be sitting next to me, not Anna.

"It's easy? That's what she says. That I'm just looking for whatever's easy and being in a relationship is hard work."

"She has a point. You have had a pretty charmed life."

I tried not to glare at Anna. Unsuccessfully. "Money and girls aren't everything. You of all people should know that. Look at Vinnie."

"Vin's an asshole. This isn't about him."

"Maybe it is. Maybe I'm just like him only you and Rachel believed too much of my press. I'm not that guy in the teen magazines, Anna. My favorite color isn't blue and I don't like to take girls on long walks on the beach at sunset for our first date."

Although Rachel and I did have our first kiss looking at the sunset on her rocky beach.

"I know you aren't that sappy guy, Nick. But you aren't asshole Vinnie, either. You're right, that's just too easy. You have to at least try!"

I jumped up at her tone. "I did! I tried harder with Rachel than any other girl. Ever! Hell, I don't even try that hard with my family. None of the girls are even speaking to me."

"That's a whole other therapy session, superstar. Let's stick to the topic."

"When did you become a psych major?"

She patted the cushion next to her. "Earlier today. Everyone else in your life is just letting you run from everything, Nick. Because it's better for them. But I don't care what's in it for me. I really don't. You can send me back to Tampa tomorrow and that's okay. I care about what's best for you."

"What would you do if I sent you back to Tampa?"

"Get a job. This is my year or six months or whatever to do the music thing. If you take it away, I just go back to plan A. But we're not talking about me. We're talking about you and Rachel."

"I don't really want to. I've been a real jerk lately. I know that. I haven't asked you what you think of all this."

Shooting videos and rehearsing for tours was normal to me, but it was all new to Anna. Even when I first met Rachel, she was still a professional musician. But up until a couple of months ago, Anna was a normal college student.

"It's awesome and a topic for another day. Can we talk about Rachel?"

I sighed, giving in. "If we have to."

"I think you need to. If you want the six months, you'd better do something with them."

"I don't want the six months."

"Doesn't sound like you fought very hard about it."

I shook my head. "You don't understand. Sometimes Rachel just wants what she wants and you can't argue with her. She wanted me out of her life."

Anna punched me. "Ow!" I said, rubbing my arm.

"If she wanted you out of her life, she wouldn't have given you six months. This is a gift, Nick."

Yeah, right. She read my reaction from the expression on my face.

"She wanted to give you time to be a better man. She didn't give you this time just so you could fuck around with hotel heiresses and get drunk with Vinnie."

"Then why is she going out with Justin freaking Timberlake?"

"You started that war with the Paris thing. Seriously, what is up with that? You went from Rachel to that cookie-cutter blond bimbo?"

"Paris is a nice girl. It didn't mean anything."

"It got you in the papers looking like you didn't care about Rachel. It meant something to Rachel, I'm sure of that."

"So I can screw around for the next six months, I'm just supposed to keep it out of the papers?"

"That would probably be preferable."

"I'm not going to sneak around and hope that Rachel thinks I was faithful for six months."

Because that wasn't happening. Six months without sex? Not an option.

"That's not what I meant. I mean… do what you want. But don't do it to be mean to Rachel. Why Paris? Why did you have to pick someone who would get you into the papers?"

I couldn't look at her. I had gone out with Paris just because I knew it would make Rachel angry.

"When did you meet Paris?" Anna asked, her voice suspicious.

I shrugged. "A couple of weeks ago."

"When?" Anna challenged.

I couldn't lie to Anna. I'd known her too long. "The night of the VMAs. She was flirting with me, and Rachel got really angry, and that's what started the fight."

"So you broke up because of Paris freaking Hilton and then you went out with her the next night? Classy, Nick. Really fucking classy. I doubt you've got six months now. I'd be surprised if Rachel shows up for your rendezvous."

"She'll probably be out with Justin."

"You have no one to blame but yourself for that one."

"Rachel is not fucking perfect. This is not all my fault! Nothing I've done for months has been good enough for her. She's always picking and nagging and whining. Justin can have her."

"She doesn't want Justin, and you don't want Paris. Or maybe Paris is a good rebound girl for you. Whatever."

Rebound girl… that would be nice. Paris was a lot of fun. That could be good.

Anna sighed, rubbing her forehead. "You've really fucked this up, Nick."

"So did Rachel," I said defensively.

"Yeah. Her too," Anna admitted. "The two of you fucked up something really good. I just remember last summer, and how you talked about her, and how stupidly in love you were and… it's just really sad."

Why was Anna crying about my failed relationship?

She saw me staring at her and laughed, brushing her tears away. "I just want someone in my life to be happy. I had great hopes for you and Rachel."

"I did too," I said, pulling Anna into my arms. It felt nice, to hold a girl again.

"Don't turn into Vinnie," Anna warned. "Don't just use girls for sex and be bitter all the time because of one failed relationship."

"I won't." I was doing that, sorta, but it had only been a couple of weeks. I'd get over it soon.

But Vinnie and Anna had been over for years, and he was still like that.

"What did you do to him?" I asked, and she laughed.

"I don't know. I ask myself that all the time. But he was never as good of a guy as you are, so it'll be a bigger fall for you. Don't let Rachel ruin you for every other woman out there."

"Promise," I said.

I'd try.

Disclaimer | Sudden Silence Website
Feedback to Authors | Tragical Fiction (home)

Subscribe to receive an email when this site is updated!

Powered by groups.yahoo.com