Oreos for Breakfast: Chapter 34

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 34
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

I heard Rachel's name and I tried not to react, smiling at the woman who was holding the mic in front of me and tried to remember her name. Not Rachel. That's all I knew about any girl. That she wasn't Rachel. Hanging out with Paris this week should have been amazing, but all I did at the end of the day was come up with a list of ways she wasn't Rachel.

This whole six-month break thing was so stupid. Just made me obsess about her more. Was that the idea? She'd drive me insane with wanting her and then I'd never stray again? Okay, I couldn't say that was working, seeing as how Paris was going to be coming back to the hotel with me.

Even so, all I was doing was comparing every woman I met to Rachel and obsessing on what she was doing. Every night before I fell asleep I actually thought about where she was. Was she thinking about me? Did she ever think about me?

I was fucking hopeless.

A fucking hopeless lovesick fool.

Anna laughed behind me and I realized that we were finished with the interview. Had I done that all on autopilot? Okay, that was a little scary. Hope I didn't say anything I'd have to regret later.

"Nick, you are too cute!" Anna giggled, smiling up at me when I stopped walking to stare at her.

"What did I do? I completely zoned there." I heard someone call my name and again, as if on autopilot, I turned and flashed her a grin, letting her take my picture. Everyone screamed and my heart lifted a little. Okay, I loved this.

"Tell me about it. How long have you been in Backstreet again?"

"10 years, since I was 12, you know that."

"Uh-huh… that's not what you said, though."

I sighed, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the red carpet with me. I usually liked having Anna along for these things. She was just my friend, the girl who played bass in my band, everyone knew that. But I didn't look like a complete loser who'd show up at an awards show with some 'industry approved' date.

"I don't even want to know, Anna. So did you hear who was talking about her?"

"Who?" She smiled up at me as we entered the venue and the screaming stopped. No wonder I couldn't answer a simple question, the European fans were screamers.

"Stop! You know who!"

"Nick… you have to stop. You are making shit up now, you know?"

"Am not! I totally heard someone asking about her."

Anna looked behind her as Justin came through the doors flanked by security on all sides. Only the screams didn't stop once he was inside. Instinctively I made a fist and Anna stood in front of me, "Come on, Nick. Don't be silly. Rachel says…" she stopped herself, biting on her bottom lip.

"You talked to her? When?"

"Shit, Nick. No. I'm not doing this!"

She started to walk away from me, seeing Jason and the others over by the artist's entrance and I ran to catch up with her.

"Anna…" I threatened and she stopped walking.

She turned around, narrowing her eyes at me, "No amount of whining, Mr. Carter, is going to make me finish that sentence. And I'm serious!"

"Come on… just tell me. I promise to be good."

"You are forgetting that I know you better than that! Oh, there's Kylie, go flirt with her or something!"

She turned back to the other guys and I pouted at her back for a moment before Cynthia was standing in front of me with her ever-present clip board telling me where I had to go next. Backstage. Webcam interview and answering email questions from fans. Then it'd be time for me to present. She handed me my cue cards and I read through them quickly.

"I get to kiss someone? Really? Is she hot?"

"Yeah," Cynthia smiled. "We thought you could use the help meeting someone new."

"Very funny!" I draped an arm around Cynthia as she led me back to the Internet area. I tried to pay attention to something Cynthia was telling me when I heard Rachel's name again.

This time I knew it was her name and I turned around just in time to catch Justin's eye as he smirked at the interviewer, "But no… we're not an item or anything."

The interviewer laughed with him. "Doesn't mean you can't have fun."

"Oh," he glanced up at me and raised an eyebrow. "We have fun. Yeah."

Everyone laughed and I could feel my ears turning red. He didn't have sex with Rachel! No! Not my Rachel. She was mine! She'd promised me a million times that she wasn't interested in Justin fucking Timberlake.

I pushed past Cynthia, not caring what she was saying to me or where I had to be. Where the fuck was Anna? I spotted her down the hall, talking to Vinnie and I grabbed her arm, pulling her into the nearest empty office I could find.

"Nick, for god's sake, chill the fuck out! What's wrong?"

"He fucked her! She fucking…" I couldn't even finish the sentence. Or statement. Whatever it fucking was. I was furious.

"I don't know what you are talking about. But if it's about Rachel and Justin. Yeah. They went out. The whole world knows that! She's allowed Nicky, she didn't cheat on you or anything."

Okay, that hurt. In the past few months, Anna had always been on my side. But now… I wasn't so sure. She knew I'd cheated on Rachel a couple of times and almost cheated on her way more than that. But she never said anything.

"I fucking know that… But that was just publicity. This is different!" I was at a loss. "Does he have to talk about her like that?"

I slumped into the nearest chair and Anna closed the door, coming over and sitting next to me. My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth so hard, the anger not going away.

"Like what?"

I looked up at her, feeling the tears in my eyes. I was such a fucking wimp. Jesus! "Like she doesn't matter. Like she's just a fuckin' toy or something. I mean… she not. Shit!"

I wiped my eyes roughly and looked away from Anna, staring down at my fingers. I would not do this. Freaking out in my hotel room when I was alone was one thing, but not here. I had to be out there smiling and answering questions in a minute. Fuck.

"Nick. I know," Anna's voice was softer and I felt her arm around my shoulder. Without thinking, I turned to her and pulled her into me. She was warm and soft and… that was nice. I missed that. Having someone to hold me, even if for just a moment. "It's going to be okay, Nick. They're just friends. It was a publicity stunt. You know that."

I nodded into her shoulder, relaxing a little as she rubbed my back gently.

"I miss her so fuckin' much, Anna."

"I can tell, you talk like her. Fuck this. Fuck that. Where did that come from, Nick?"

She made me laugh. She knew she would, right? I pulled out of her arms and smiled over at her. "Just keeping the spirit alive, baby."

"Start calling me buttercup and I'm quitting the tour, Nick."

"C'mon… you know I can't do this without you. Left to my own devices I'd be a complete fuck up."

"No, left to your own devices and Vinnie, you'd be a complete fuck up. As it is, you're only a partial fuck up."

I scowled at her and she reached over and tousled my hair playfully. Rachel used to do that. I closed my eyes tightly, willing her to get out of my head.

"Yeah, well… Hey, did you see I get to kiss that hot chick I'm presenting with?"

Anna laughed, standing up and extending her hand to me, "On the cheek, Nick. And then she slaps you, or did you not read that far?"

I pulled the cards out of my pocket and read through them. "Fuck! I never get any luck!"

"This had better be good," I growled into my phone on the fifth ring. Was my voicemail fucking broken again? I'd have to have Lola check on that. The voice on the other end of the phone pulled me back into reality as I made a mental note to myself to find Lola.

"Well, I've been told by some women who dare to sleep with me that I can be…"

I had to laugh. "Justin! Aren't you in Spain or Portugal or somewhere where they speak Spanish?"

My phone was definitely screwed up. It was supposed to play 'Girlfriend' when he called.

"Barcelona. Yes. I think they speak Spanish, not that we've heard any. I'd rather be wherever you are."

"Yeah, right. I'm in San Jose. Why are you calling me? Aren't there hot Spanish women following your every move?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. And, can I add, that they'll sleep with me?"

"Sure. But what the hell do I care?" I was laughing now. Damnit, Justin was good at making me laugh. He'd actually turned out to be a pretty good friend. True, he did want to sleep with me, but… we were never in the same place at the same time. So it would never happen. I'd put that ball in his court and no matter how good he was, he wasn't good enough to go out of his way for casual sex. I was pretty sure he could get that anywhere.

"Sorry, babe, I kinda zoned for a second there. What were you saying?"

"Nothing too important, just that everyone here thinks we're a couple…"

"And you're doing nothing to dissuade them, right?"

"Well… it's way too much fun, Rachel! Especially when your ex is standing right there and listening, ready to strangle me."

"Damon's at the VMAs? Not again!"

What the fuck was Damon doing there? And what did he care about me? Last time I'd actually seen him it was pretty obvious that he was over it. We actually had a nice conversation, were able to reminisce a little, even.

"No. Nick."

My breath caught in my throat. Oh. Nick. Yeah, I guess he was the ex, wasn't he?

"Oh. Nick's there?" I tried to say casually, as if I didn't have his schedule memorized. Well, not really, but I'd heard Saffron talking to someone at our meeting the other day about Ken leaving The Firm and what Nick was going to do. Someone was meeting him this week in Europe to be with him while he promoted his new single.

"Yeah," Justin laughed, "Nick. You know, the ex. The one you aren't dating anymore. Or has that changed? Is that why he wanted to rip me a new one?"

"Nick's a bunny. He wasn't angry." But even I knew that wasn't right. Wonder what Anna had to do to convince Nick not to haul off and punch Justin on the red carpet.

"Sure. Right. Yeah, he wasn't angry. Pulled that friend of his into a room down the hall and I think I saw smoke coming from his ears."

"Well, what the hell did you say about me?"

"Umm… nothing bad. Just that we have fun together."

"You're just stirring up trouble, aren't you?"

"Maybe. But it was fun, Rache. Then I thought maybe you should know. Just in case some of it gets back to you and people start asking…"

"I'll tell them we're friends, Justin. Because that's what we are."

He was quiet for a minute and I almost felt guilty until I heard a girl giggling.

"Oops… I think I better go, babe." He mumbled something to the girl and she laughed again.

"Where'd she come from?" I teased, excited that I didn't even feel the hint of jealousy.

"She went to get drinks."

"That's my cue then, curly. Have fun with your Spanish ladies."

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