Oreos for Breakfast

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 36
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

Kevin was on the phone when he came to the door, and I let him in, raising an eyebrow as I wondered who was so important that he couldn’t get off the phone. “AJ,” he mouthed, and I nodded, shutting the door behind him.

“Aje- yes. I- uh-huh. I’m at Rachel’s now.” He listened for a minute, rolling his eyes. “I’m freaking telling her, Alex! You can’t- I- hold on.”

He moved the phone away from his ear. “Sarah left him.”

I could hear AJ yelling from the phone. “Aren’t they…?” I started to ask and Kevin nodded.

“The wedding’s off.”

Ow.

I took the phone from Kevin before he could stop me. I’m sure he’d heard this already on the way over here. “What happened, baby?”

“It’s all my fucking fault, Rachel. I’m a fucking asshole. I had the most perfect girl in the world and I cheated on her, because I’m too fucking weak to stay sober.”

He sounded heartbroken, and I just wanted to hug him.

“We were going to get married! How did I fuck that up?”

“Maybe you’re not ready to be married, Alex.”

“I guess not, or I wouldn’t have slept with that woman from my AA meeting! I am so fucking stupid. Why did I do that?”

“You slept with someone from your AA meeting?” Kevin sighed and fell into the nearest chair. He looked like he’d been talking to AJ for a while. Or at least like he knew all the details already.

“We got drunk together and ended up in bed. Because that is how stupid I am. I believed her when she said we were fine and we didn’t need these fucking meetings. I really didn’t think that anyone could be more stupid than Nick when he lost you, but look, it’s me. I’m that stupid. It’s not bad enough that I lost Sarah. No, I drank her out of my life. Sarah! I loved her!”

“I know you do,” I said softly. He did love her. I had never been entirely sure that they should get married, but they did love each other.

Now I’d made him cry. Great. “How did I fuck up this much?” he asked.

“We all make mistakes, sweetie. But it doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“I broke her heart. I’m a horrible person!”

“No, you’re not. You’re sweet and funny and wonderful, and you made a huge mistake. And you know it was a mistake, so you can fix it.”

“I don’t know how. Sarah hates me.”

“She just thinks she hates you right now. When did this happen?”

“Last night,” he said, sniffling.

Shit. Sarah probably didn’t know what she thought. It was too new. “Give her a day or two. And is that ‘Drops of Jupiter’ playing?”

“It was going to be our wedding song.” I knew that. Train was going to perform it live, and AJ had been all excited about that. “But the wedding’s off!”

“Stop listening to the song, then. It’s on repeat, isn’t it?”

“Shut up,” he muttered, but he turned it off, and I exchanged a smile with Kevin.

“Have you talked to anyone else about this?” I asked.

“I was on the phone with my sponsor for hours. Why the fuck didn’t I call him before I slept with that girl?” AJ admonished himself again and I could just see him in my mind. He was probably breaking glasses and hitting his head against that wall. Typical self-destructive AJ behavior.

“We all make errors in judgment, AJ. I slept with Justin Timberlake, after all.”

“You did what?” he shrieked, and Kevin gave me a shocked look. At least that got him to quit moaning.

“Hey, no judgments!” I protested, holding up a hand to Kevin. “I’m just saying that we all do stupid things.”

“Is that why Nick left?” AJ whispered. I could tell what he was thinking though. Cheating on Nick with a member of Nsync would probably up there with breaking your sobriety and cheating on your girlfriend. How fucked up was that?

I snorted. “I dumped Nick because he was an asshole. Justin was recent. Post-Nick.”

“Then it wasn’t as dumb as me, cheating on my fucking fiancée!”

“Well… no. But we all make mistakes, Alex, and they’re all fixable.”

“Do you think she’ll take me back?” He said, a glimmer of hope in his voice.

I hesitated. I didn’t know Sarah well enough to tell him yes or no. “I don’t know. Maybe. But even if she doesn’t, your world won’t end. I promise. It just feels that way right now.”

“It really feels like that, Rache,” he said, his voice breaking, and I blinked back tears at the sadness in his voice.

“I know. Believe me, I know. It helped me to get out of town for a couple of days after Nick and I broke up. Why don’t you come out here for a little bit? I have a guest room, and Kevin’s here.”

“No, I should…” he started to look for an excuse to wallow in his self-pity and stay trapped in his apartment listening to Train on repeat and breaking more glasses.

“Cell phones work here. You can always call your sponsor. Do you really want to be in your house right now?”

At least I’d broken up with Nick in a hotel room that I never needed to see again.

“No,” AJ admitted. “I just keep looking around and remembering how she was crying and telling me how horrible I was. And her stuff is everywhere.”

“You can go to a hotel or come here. Whatever. But I don’t think you should stay there.” I tried to sound confident, hoping that he’d listen to me. From the look on Kevin’s face, he’d already tried that trick and it hadn’t worked. But knowing Kevin, he’d demanded that AJ had come. But AJ didn’t need ultimatums right now. He needed to feel like he could make a mature, healthy decision.

“I’ll get someone to get me a ticket.”

“Do you not know how to make a plane reservation?” I teased and he was quiet. I shook my head, walking over to Kevin to hand him the phone. “Fine. Talk to Kevin and I’ll get on-line and find you a flight.”

Fifteen minutes later, he was booked on the next flight out of LA.

Seven hours later AJ was standing in front of me at Newark Airport. He looked like shit: tired, sad and hung over. He didn’t even have eyeliner on. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever seen AJ without eyeliner. He was staring down at the phone in his hand as he walked down the hall, and didn’t notice me.

“Alex!” I yelled, and he looked up, blinking at me.

“My phone’s dead.”

“That happens.”

“I need to call Sarah and tell her that I’m here,” he mumbled still not looking at me.

“Okay.”

I didn’t rate a hug? Wasn’t I being the cool supportive friend here? I didn’t expect praise and undying gratitude, but a hug would be nice. I hadn’t seen him in months, after all.

“She was worried about you on the flight?” I asked, pulling out my cell and handing it to him.

“I almost didn’t come,” he said. “I called her from the car to tell her I was leaving, and to look in on the dogs. Told her that she could call to scream at me on the cell, and I think I freaked her out that I was coming here.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“I don’t know. We talked until I got on the plane, and I spent the last five hours thinking about it, and I don’t know.”

“Did she ask you not to come?” I asked.

“No… not really. She told me it was good that we couldn’t see each other for a couple of days. That’s why I got on the plane. She thought it was a good idea, and I don’t want to hurt her again. So should I call her?”

“Did she ask you to call when you got here?”

“Yeah.”

“Then call her.”

He took a deep breath and dialed her number. “Hey, baby. Yeah, I’m here, just wanted to let you know.”

I started walking, and he followed. “It was fine. Virgin’s always good, they have the comfy seats and stuff… No, Rachel. Where’s Kevin?” he asked, looking over at me.

“Show.”

“Oh, right. It’s seven, he’s got a show… Rachel’s phone. I killed mine, talking to you before I got on the plane. Shit, I didn’t bring my charger!”

“There are phone stores in New York, Aje,” I told him, and he gave me a little smile.

“I’ll get Rachel to take me to a phone store and then you can call me on my phone.”

“You can give her my home number.” I offered, navigating us toward baggage claim.

“I’ll give you her home number. Yeah, I’m staying there… Because I didn’t make a hotel reservation. I didn’t even pack anything!”

I swerved from going down the hallway that led to baggage claim. Guess we had some shopping to do before we went home.

“No!” he said, sounding surprised. “Is that why you’re talking to me? Because you’re jealous of Rachel? Shit.”

He hadn’t figured that out yet?

“No, I- we- Sarah. Stop it. It’s Rachel. Nick’s Rachel… Doesn’t matter. She’ll always be Nick’s Rachel. He’d fucking kill me.”

I wasn’t so sure that Nick would care if I fucked AJ. He’d probably be best man at the wedding, as long as he could bring his new stupid girlfriend.

“No, that’s not the only thing standing between us. She’s my friend! She’s… Yeah, okay, she’s hot, but she’s off limits.”

He stopped walking, at a loss for words. “I don’t know what to say to that. I can’t tell you that I’ve never considered it. I’m not allowed to lie, remember? I’m a guy. She’s hot. But that doesn’t matter! I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He winced, and I was pretty sure I knew exactly what she’d said.

“Okay. Okay. You’re right. I am stupid, and god knows what I’d do. You’re right. I suck.” He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to cry. We were in the middle of an airport, after all.

“I know,” he whispered. “I’m an idiot.”

I touched his shoulder, and he looked at me, so sad. I nodded towards the elevators and he followed me again. If I could get him to my car, at least he wouldn’t be in the middle of all of these people having this conversation.

“Look, I- She’s right here, Sarah. I’m in the middle of a fucking airport. I’m on her goddamn phone!”

He listened again, rubbing his head, and we stepped on the elevator. I pushed the ‘close door’ button a few times, hoping no one else would get on with us.

“Yes,” he said. “That could happen. It happened before. But I’m pretty sure that Rachel won’t be encouraging me to drink.” He looked to me for reassurance, and I nodded.

“I really fucking wanted to,” he said, his voice harsh, and I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “But I think they had orders not to offer me anything.”

I shrugged at his look. Kevin might have called the airline and asked them to make sure that Mr. McLean wasn’t offered any alcohol during the flight. That was partially because we wanted to protect him and partially because Kevin didn’t want me to have to deal with a drunken AJ when I picked him up.

Oh, I had to call Kevin. He still had about an hour before he was onstage, and he wanted to know that AJ was okay.

He wasn’t exactly okay. But he wasn’t drunk. I think baby steps were required here.

“And even if I did get drunk and come on to her, she’s Rachel. She’s not some ‘ho from AA.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. Yeah, the nameless girl from AA had led him down the wrong path, but he’d gone with her.

He just shook his head and listened to the phone again. ‘Some ‘ho from AA’ might be the girl’s official name in Sarah’s book.

“It’s not why I came here, Sarah. It never crossed my mind.”

The doors opened at our floor in the parking garage, and two people were waiting to get on. AJ waited until we were alone again to continue his point.

“I came here,” he said. “Because I couldn’t be in that house for one more second, knowing how you’d left me there. I couldn’t look at your stuff, and the dogs were wandering around that way they do when you’re gone and I couldn’t tell them that you were coming back. I had to get out of there.”

I popped the locks on the car, but he leaned across the top like he was exhausted, still holding on to the phone. “Oh. I didn’t- well, you didn’t tell me. See? It sucks there now.”

He squeezed up his face again. “I know. We were really happy there, and I ruined it. I’m sorry, baby.”

I went around and opened his door, guiding him into the seat. He ended up with his forehead on the dashboard, just crumpled up there. “Do that, baby. That’s a good idea. They’ll be happier with you in a little hotel room than alone in the house. Do they take dogs there? Go somewhere else if they don’t. You have the card.”

He was trying to sound okay, but I could see how heartbroken he was. Sarah was taking the dogs now. This was feeling a little more final.

I shut the door and leaned on the car, giving him a minute of privacy. I could hear his voice, but didn’t try to make out the words. Then it was quiet for a long minute, and there might have been crying.

Finally he opened the door. “You can come in now.”

He was still leaning his forehead on the dashboard, but my phone was in my seat, and I picked it up, sliding into the car.

“She’s jealous of you,” he said, not looking up from the dashboard.

“You flew across the country to see me and Kevin. Yeah, I’d be jealous, too. You don’t want to know how I feel about Paris Hilton.”

“At least you’re cool. Paris is a fucking idiot.”

“I’m not fucking you, Aje.” I stated, hoping that’d somehow help. If he even had a glimmer of a thought that he could come here and rebound with me… well, I had to nip that in the bud.

“Damn,” he muttered. “Will you at least buy me a drink?”

“No. I can take you to Target to buy some clothes, though. Or we can go somewhere fancy in the city.”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to shop, either. I have a lot of addiction problems.”

“Well, then we should go to Target, and limit the damage. Like drinking light beer.”

“I can’t laugh. My heart is broken.” He protested, but I think I caught the corner of his mouth twitching up.

I laughed, reaching over to stroke his hair. Well, the ugly hat that was covering his hair. “It’s okay. It was a bad joke.”

“It really was.”

“You need to sit up and put your seatbelt on.”

He sighed, but complied. We didn’t speak again until we were out of the parking garage and on our way to my favorite Target. I usually went from the city, but I thought I could find it from here.

“When my dad died, I left London with no luggage, too. James took me to a Wal-Mart near home and I had to buy stuff.”

“I know this isn’t as bad. No one’s dead. I’m just stupid.”

“I wasn’t comparing the scale of the tragedy. I was just saying that it was similar, except I’m in the driver’s seat this time. You had a fight with Sarah in the airport and I had a major meltdown. Different airport, same shit. You feel like you’re never going to be able to laugh again, and you will. It might be a couple days, or weeks or years, but you will. I cried for three days after Nick and I broke up.”

“Is that why you didn’t call me back?” he asked. I’d forgotten that he’d called.

“I couldn’t talk to anyone but James and JC.”

“You went with JC?”

I glanced over at him. “We went to his house in Florida.”

“Nick told me James and JC broke up.” He confessed.

“They’re back together. Was he getting his information the night of the strip club?”

AJ managed a bit of a smile at that one. “Nick said JC at the strip club was pretty funny.”

I bet it was. It was weird that I knew JC’s side of that story and not Nick’s. “JC’s my neighbor. You’re cool with him and James, right?” I glanced over to catch his look.

“Gay is not a problem with me, Rache.”

“I meant Nsync, actually.”

“Also not a problem. Have you told them why I’m here and what an asshole I am?” he asked. I was surprised he didn’t think that the whole world could tell what and idiot he was just by looking at him.

“I told them why you’re here. We don’t have to see them if you don’t want to. You can just hide in my apartment. Or we can go up to Long Island if you really don’t want to see anyone.”

“I get to go to the Point house?” he asked hopefully.

“Sure,” I said. “Why not?”

“If I told Nick that I had been to the Point house with you, he would definitely kill me.”

“I don’t think he cares, AJ.” But I had to admit that part of me felt good knowing that Nick might still care. That Nick might still think about our times there as good and happy. There was a time when I’d wanted the Point house to be Nick’s, too. Like it was our special place together. I might never take another lover to that house because of that.

“He cares. Paris is rebound girl.”

I snickered. “It’s been a while. She had a chance to be rebound girl when we first broke up. Now she’s…. well, she’s his next girlfriend. Different scenario.”

“Still. I’m going to get into enough trouble when he figures out I’m visiting you. I’ll pass on the Point house.”

“Okay,” I said. “It’s nice and peaceful up there.”

“Away from LA is enough for now. Sarah might completely wig out if she thinks we’re going off together to some romantic hideaway. I’m really sorry you had to hear that.”

I waved him off. “I’m a girl, AJ. It’s fine. I hadn’t thought about it, but I understand. In a couple of days, when she’s a little saner, I’ll give her a call. She knows I’m not a threat. We used to sit around backstage and gossip about the two of you all the time. Right now, she’s jealous of anyone with boobs.”

“Maybe I should stay with Kevin.”

“If you think that will be better, that’s cool. My place is nicer, though, and he’s out a lot.”

“Your place is nicer?”

“Much. I don’t even think he has a guest room.”

AJ smiled at me, looking a little more like his normal self. “I’m staying with you.”

“I’ll make sure there’s a chocolate on your pillow every night,” I promised him, and he laughed. Just a little, but enough to make me smile.

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