Oreos for Breakfast

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 36
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

Someone stopped next to my seat, putting a bag in the overhead compartment, and I looked up to see who my seatmate would be. It was a guy. I didn’t really want a guy. If he recognized me, he’d probably hit on me. If he didn’t hit on me, I’d wonder why.

So much for my new-found joy in being single.

He shoved his bag into the overhead and looked down, smiling at me with a sort of ‘we’re going to sit next to each other for a few hours, are you hot?’ smile.

“Shit,” we said at the same time.

The last person I expected to see staring back at me from the aisle was Ben. He turned, looking for another seat, and my heart twisted. That’s where we were? He couldn’t even sit next to me for a couple of hours on a plane?

Okay, it was weird. We hadn’t spoken to each other since I left at New Year’s, but I didn’t think we hated each other. It just… we weren’t right together. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, really. Surely he knew that, too?

The flight was packed with lots of people returning from cruises and trips to somewhere warm in the dead of winter. Every seat in first class was taken except for the one next to me.

He started to say something to the couple across from us, but then they kissed. Again. They’d been doing that since we’d gotten on the plane. I figured they were honeymooners splurging on first class.

I pulled on Ben’s sweater. “Sit down,” I hissed. He was holding up the flow of people moving through the cabin.

He sat down, not looking over at me. “I’m moving as soon as everyone is seated,” he whispered. “I bet someone in coach would love to switch with me.”

Wounded, I didn’t answer, and tried to feign interest in whatever was outside my window. One last look at palm trees and sunshine. There might be snow on the ground in New York. The weather people had been talking about a storm when I’d left last week. But I hadn’t read any newspapers or watched the news, so I wasn’t sure if it had hit or not.

I had thought Ben and I had left on okay terms. Not good, but not this bad. It’s not like I’d been cheating on him and broke his heart or anything. He was my rebound guy. That sucked, but it wasn’t like I meant to hurt him.

Then again, I’d left and he’d spent New Year’s with his friends. I didn’t know what story he’d told to explain my absence. Whatever it was, he’d probably started to believe it.

I never should have gotten involved with him, with anyone, so soon after Nick. Ben had never been anything but wonderful to me, and I just used him to get over my broken heart.

I sucked. Maybe he should hate me.

“I hate coach,” he said quietly, but I kept looking out the window.

“I can switch with someone,” I offered, pouting.

“The pop star in coach? I predict a riot,” he said, joking, and I risked a look at him.

“Then you get to move. Or you can sit here and pretend not to know me.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “This is meant to be. This was supposed to be our trip, after all.”

I gasped, covering my mouth quickly. “Is this the trip you won at that auction?”

He shrugged. “Why let a week in Puerto Rico go to waste? You weren’t there, were you? In Puerto Rico?”

“No. Antigua. To get to any of the islands, you have to connect through San Juan. I hate to connect.”

“The rock star doesn’t have a private jet?” He joked and I dared to meet his smile, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Funny. You have more money than I do, and we both know it. If anyone had a private jet, it would be the Lawsons.”

“Would it be bad if I admitted that we have a half a jet?” He smiled again and I started to remember why I’d liked him so much when we first met. The formal lawyer and prep school boy who was really just a nice guy at heart. I’d fallen for his smile and the easy way we could talk about anything. Or nothing.

“Why aren’t you using that, instead of being stuck next to me for three hours?”

“Dad was using it for work. I’m sorry if I made you feel like sitting next to you was being ‘stuck.’” He sighed heavily and pretended great interest in buckling his seatbelt. “Obviously I was supposed to be on this flight to deal with our unresolved issues.”

“You could have called, instead of just waiting for a random series of events to put us together, you know.”

He shrugged. “No, I couldn’t.”

He was right. He couldn’t. The only way we would talk is some chance meeting. Calling would mean that he wanted to talk to me, and that was losing the game. I certainly couldn’t call him, since I’d done the dumping.

Not that it had really occurred to me. I was too busy being selfish.

“Although I’ve been thinking about it. Calling you,” he admitted. “Since I’m going to see you soon anyway, I thought maybe I should make sure things would be okay.”

I looked at him for a minute, perplexed. Why would Ben be seeing me soon?

“Oh! Are you coming to the show?” Shirley and I were doing a charity show on Valentine’s Day, and part of the reason was because Ben’s mom was on the Board of the charity. I did like there work, but I also didn’t want to disappoint her. I was both terrified and thrilled to be doing an entire show without my band. Our little mini-sets during the tour had gone over really well, but I wasn’t entirely sure that we could sustain a whole show. At the last minute I might need to call in reinforcements.

“I have a hot date with Jessa and her best friend on Valentine’s Day. Even plan to bring them chocolates and roses. Is that too much? They are incredibly excited.”

I smiled, “No, its sweet. You know I only said yes because it’s your mom’s charity, right?”

He shook his head. “No, you’re doing it because it’s a good cause and you’re a nice person. Which is why I gave her your number in the first place.”

It was nice to know that he still had faith in me. “I’m also doing it because I get to do whatever I want and my band can’t argue with me.”

He laughed. “That too. Who’s this other woman that’s doing it with you? Why is she not Gwen Stefani?”

“Gwen’s busy being married and writing a solo album and stuff. And why do you know Gwen Stefani?”

“Jessa,” we said in unison. It was probably bad that I missed Jessa more than Ben these last couple months. I’d be shopping with James and see something that I knew she’d like and have to remind myself that she wasn’t my niece to shop for. Katie and Colleen were making out like bandits because of it.

“Does Jessa not appreciate Shirley Manson? Because Shirley is freaking amazing.”

“Jessa says she’s fine, but Gwen is cooler.” Ben said, smiling as the stewardess passed us. Was he seriously going to flirt with her in front of me?

Okay, I guess that was his right. I’d probably do the same if I’d been the one who’d been dumped.

“We’re working on Gwen to at least be there and to do a couple of songs,” I confided. “Don’t tell, it’s not definite. But Shirley will be here in a couple of days and we’re rehearsing for a week. Maybe you could bring Jessa around to see one of our rehearsals?”

The offer was out before I could stop myself. It was just an innocent offer. It didn’t mean I wanted to see him again… damn.

“Maybe I will,” he smiled and the flight attendants started their little speech and we both pretended to pay attention, but my mind was racing now from Ben to Shirley.

I’d never spent that much time with Shirley. I figured there’d be some partying… or at least shopping. But what did I know? Maybe we’d kill each other. On tour we were always busy with a million things, and sometimes Shirley and Gwen and I would hang out in dressing rooms or hotels or tour buses, but a week of working together? She was so going to figure out how boring I was and that my idea of a perfect night was sharing a tuna sandwich with my cat and watching ‘Gilmore Girls’ reruns.

I needed to recapture my vacation Zen state. On vacation, I’d written three songs and a long list of covers for our show and hadn’t spent a second worrying about whether or not Shirley liked me.

“What’s wrong? I don’t have to bring Jessa,” Ben backpedaled, obviously seeing the panic on my face.

“No… it’s just Shirley. I hadn’t really thought about what this concert would mean. Spending time with her one-on-one… she’s so cool.”

Ben laughed. “You’re cool, too, Rachel.”

The flight attendant chose that moment to offer us champagne, which both of us took. He held his glass out to me. “To coincidences,” he said, tapping my glass with his.

I smiled, taking a sip. “Hey,” I said. “I need legal advice.”

He rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed. “They all do. What did you do in Antigua?”

“Nothing! I need legal advice about this show. Shirley and I were just talking about selling it. Well, talking about it a couple of weeks ago, before vacation. Figuring that out is on my list of things to do post-vacation. I guess the flight back counts as post-vacation.”

“It’s already sold, isn’t it?”

“I mean recording it and selling the CD and giving the proceeds to the charity.” I explained.

He raised an eyebrow. “That might be a lot of money. I don’t know Shirley, but you’re really popular.”

I laughed. “My band is. I’m not sure that there’s a huge demand for me solo, especially doing covers. But it would be nice to kick some more money their way. I can get it recorded for free. That won’t be a problem.”

I might have to flirt with the guys at our studio, but I flirted with them anyway.

“But we only do covers, and Shirley and I are on different labels, so there’s all sorts of issues there. It won’t be worth it if all the original artists demand their mechanicals.”

“They might waive them,” Ben offered, smiling a little at the legal problem I’d just given him.

He was such a geek. I really liked that about him.

“But we’re not even sure what we’re going to do yet,” I cautioned. A week before the show and we didn’t know what we were doing. That sounded bad. His mom thought I was a professional.

“Get me a list of the contenders. I’ll get a team to figure out who would need to get paid if you released an album, and make some calls. If they say ‘no,’ maybe those songs don’t make it on the CD.”

“You’re so sneaky.”

He just smiled at me as the flight attendant offered us more champagne.

The flight was good. We talked about legal issues with selling a CD, and what we’d done on our solo vacations. He’d needed a week to himself, too. He told me he hadn’t even picked up any lonely tourists at the hotel bar and I decided to believe him.

When we landed, he got both of our bags out of the overhead compartment and handed me mine. “How are you getting home?”

“Cab?” I said. There was another option?

I’d forgotten. With Ben there was. “I’ll give you a ride,” he offered.

I loved Ben’s car service. I should invest in that. Maybe James and I could share it since he was practically living at JC’s again now. No, not thinking about that. That was a little reason why I went on vacation – to get away from James and JC. I was trying hard not to pester James about JC not coming out. I knew it wasn’t my decision to make, but I didn’t want to see him hurt again.

If we had a car service, then I’d never walk anywhere. I’d weigh a million pounds and my career would be destroyed. Still, it would have been helpful while I was still dealing with physical therapy.

“Hey, did I tell you that I spent four weeks in physical therapy after I smashed my knee skiing?”

“No!” he said, letting me out of my seat and off the plane. “See, I knew you should have gone to the hospital.”

“We did go to the hospital and they didn’t say I’d need physical therapy,” I said, getting my guitar from the flight attendant. It didn’t fit in the overhead, but I wasn’t checking it.

He wisely let the subject of my knee drop. “You took your guitar on vacation?”

“I told you I wrote three songs. Yes, I took my guitar.”

“Isn’t that working?”

I just looked at him, putting the strap of my guitar case over my shoulder. “I don’t work, Ben. I make music and for some strange reason, people give me money for it. Writing songs and lying on the beach is my perfect vacation.”

“I think we could have found other things to do if we’d been on vacation together.” He flirted.

I smiled at him as we walked into the airport. “If we had been on vacation together, I might have written songs about different things.”

“Do I get a song out of this relationship? Something I can hear on the radio and tell all my friends about?”

“First of all, you don’t listen to pop radio. And if you did, you would never hear a song about you there. Because the songs I’ve written about you were done after we submitted the album and because they’re not singles.”

“Songs?” he asked, grinning. “More than one?”

“A couple, maybe.” I said, teasing. A couple were about him, sorta. “You can buy my next album and find out.”

“No!” he protested. “You need to do them at the show, so that I can impress my niece.”

“They’re not really…” I started, but forgot to finish the sentence as I was distracted by a picture of JC grinning at me from a magazine cover.

“HOLY SHIT!” I screamed, grabbing the magazine off the newsstand and staring at the cover. “He- I- oh my fucking god.”

“Rachel, what is it?” Ben asked, looking over my shoulder. “Who is that? That’s not your ex. Although that would be pretty funny.”

JC was smiling into the camera with that sweet smile, while the headline proclaimed in huge letters “I’M GAY.”

“Did he? James didn’t…” I gave up, flipping through the magazine until I found the article, which had a sidebar about James. “He even said it was James!” I said, hopping up and down, unable to contain my excitement.

“She’s usually much calmer,” Ben said, handing the clerk at the newsstand some money. “Let’s go get our bags, Rachel.”

“JC came out!” I said, trying to read the article as I walked. Something about knowing his whole life, couldn’t ruin the band, blah blah blah, but he met James and everything changed.

“JC who? How do you know him? Oh! Is that your neighbor?” he said, finally following my train of thought.

“And James’ boyfriend,” I said, giddy, still reading.

JC was out! He and James could go out in public and I didn’t have to be their beard any more!

Hey… I didn’t have to be their beard anymore. I’d never leave the house again.

“James has a boyfriend? You never told me.”

I smiled up at Ben. “Duh. That’s what being in the closet means! Yeah, he’s been with JC for ages now. But JC couldn’t come out, so they’ve been sneaking around. I am so excited!”

“I noticed,” Ben said, smiling at me.

“I have to call him!” I stopped walking, pulling my phone out of my bag. It was dead. Right. That’s why I hadn’t called James from San Juan to check on the weather or anything.

“Here,” Ben said, handing me his phone and steering me towards baggage claim. “What do your bags look like?”

“It’s pink and has a Hello Kitty! luggage tag.”

“Of course it does. Just one?”

“Yes,” I said, dialing. “James!” I screamed into his voicemail. “Why aren’t you picking up? Are you fielding calls from every media outlet for comments on the fact that your boyfriend finally came out of the freaking closet? I’ll be home soon. Ben’s giving me a ride.”

I tried to call JC’s house, but I couldn’t remember the number. It was programmed into my phone, so I didn’t know anyone’s number.

I handed Ben his phone back. “I can get my bag. He wasn’t there.”

Just then Ben’s phone rang and he handed it to me. “For you. I’ll get your bag.”

“James?” I asked, and I got a scream back in response.

“Where are you? I have been freaking out for two days!” he screamed at me. “Great time for you to go on vacation and decide to be completely cut off from the world!”

“I’m at JFK. My phone died and I didn’t charge it on vacation. JC came out!” I found a corner away from the luggage carousel, but people were still looking at me. I couldn’t help myself from shrieking a little.

“Did you forget your charger? You always forget your charger and I needed to talk to you. Hey! I packed your fucking charger myself! It’s in the left pocket of your suitcase. Did you even look there? We went out to dinner last night and I have never been so happy to see photographers in my life!”

“We’ll have to find an event that you can pose on the red carpet at. We’ll go to LA. I had my charger, I was just all Zen and mellow and didn’t care.”

“Did you not feel the psychic vibes from me? Is Antigua too far away? It should be good for the psychic link, it has the Duran reference and all.” James teased.

“It must be too far away, I’m sorry. Maybe the psychic link only works with bad stuff, like Dad dying. Good stuff you don’t really need me for.”

“I always need you, Rache. What phone are you using now?” he asked.

“Ben’s.”

“Ben’s? The Ben?” His turn to be astonished.

“Don’t jump to any conclusions. We sat next to each other on the flight back. Weird, huh?” Ben glanced around, finding me and smiling. I smiled back.

Why did I break up with him again? So what if I didn’t like his friends. I didn’t like Nick’s friends more than I didn’t like Ben’s friends, and I hadn’t broken up with him over it.

I broke up with Ben because I was still in love with Nick. Right.

But I was over Nick now. I’d had a month to be alone and process my feelings. Nick and I were never getting back together, I was sure of that. He had his little heiress now and that was fine. She was more his style. Maybe with a little more time on my own, I could find out that Ben was more my style.

“Totally weird,” he agreed. “So how was it sitting next to your ex?”

“Nice. Really nice.” I answered. “Once the awkwardness was done. He’s a good guy, you know.”

“Rachel,” James cautioned. “No sex until it means something, remember? So, did you pick up any hot cabana boys in Antigua?”

“No sex until it means something. Remember? So, no hot cabana boys. You’re the one that told me not to sleep with the cabana boys!”

“Right,” James said. “Because making you keep your New Year’s resolution is fun. So you can’t sleep with Ben, either.”

“I can’t?” That was truly a pity because his ass looked really good in those jeans as he bent over to get my suitcase.

“He was the rebound guy, Rache.”

“But I’m not rebounding now. I’m good. I had a lot of time to think this week and Nick’s over. He’s got Paris and I’ve got my music and it’s okay. I’m a different me!”

“Antigua cures broken hearts?” James questioned.

“Antigua was awesome. But I’ll tell you all about it after you tell me about JC!” I looked down at the magazine in my hand again. “I am framing this thing, you know. It will be the first thing people see when they come into my apartment – JC’s happy face proclaiming he’s gay!”

“Please don’t.” James said. “He is so annoyed by that cover.”

“Why? He looks great. Okay the grin is a little boy band cheesy…”

“It’s tacky!” I heard JC yell in the background, and then something about the headline.

“What should it say?” I asked. “I like boys? Or how about I ‘heart’ boys?”

“He wanted it to say ‘I’m in love with James Packard,’” James told me, his voice soft, and I knew he wasn’t joking.

“And instead he was just a freaking sidebar!” JC said, closer to the phone now, and I smiled, knowing someone was getting kissed.

“Come home,” JC said into the phone. “And we’ll tell you everything.”

Ben found me smiling at the phone. “Good call?”

I grinned. “One of the better calls of my life. Thanks for letting me use your phone.”

“Anytime. The driver took our bags already, let’s go.” Ben wrapped his arm around my waist, steering me towards the car and I didn’t move it away. It was kind of nice having him beside me. The driver smiled at me as we got to the car.

“Nice to see you again, Ms. Connor,” Steve said, taking my carry on and guitar as we walked over to the car. “How’s your family?”

“Very well, thank you. Thanks for the ride.”

“My pleasure.”

I slid into the limo, followed by Ben, and I looked around with a smile. I did like the limo. Ben opened the fridge and offered me a bottle of water. “Snack?”

“They fed us well on the flight, I’m fine. Besides, I might have to go out with James and JC so that they can have their picture taken. Or do I not get to go out with them any more? That would suck.”

“So…” He asked, taking a drink of his water. “Have you been covering for them for long?”

“Yeah,” I answered with a shrug. “Since they got together. They broke up for a while.”

“Were you doing this while we were together?” he asked.

“Not the whole time. They got back together right before Christmas. After that stupid industry party we went to.”

He glanced out the window as we pulled into traffic. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I…” I had never thought about telling him. It never seemed to come up while Ben and I were together. “Did I need to?”

“It seems to be a big part of your life. You’re really happy that he’s come out.” Was that bitterness in his voice?

“I’m happy because James is happy.”

He didn’t look at me, and our happy, joking mood was gone. “I feel like I didn’t know this huge part of your life,” Ben went on. “I wouldn’t have told anyone. I don’t even know this JC guy, besides that he’s your neighbor.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you with it, Ben. It just… never came up.”

“Did you sleep with Justin Timberlake while we were together?” He asked, as he turned and met my eyes for the first time since we got into the car.

“What?” Where the hell did that come from?

He shrugged, “They’re in the same band, right? Justin and JC? Because ever since we broke up, I’ve been wondering about that report of you and Justin out dancing when I was on some business trip. That I invited to you come on, but you said no.”

“No,” I told him. “I did have a… fling with Justin. But it ended before I met you. Well… before we got together. And that night we went out dancing, he came on to me, and I kissed him, but it didn’t go any farther than that.”

He didn’t say anything, just looked out the window again, and we were quiet for a moment. “And the Justin thing is a secret,” I said quietly. “I never wanted the publicity.”

“Don’t worry,” Ben said. “I won’t be telling anyone about that.”

“I never cheated on you, Ben. I loved being with you, I really did. It was just at a really fucked up time in my life.”

“You might have liked being with me, but I feel like I barely know you. There’s this whole rock star part of your life that I never knew.”

“You never asked.”

“I’m not sure that I wanted to know,” he said.

“It’s easier to think I’m just a nice girl from Long Island. Believe me, I know.”

He smiled at that, turning to face me again.

“That’s what I really am,” I said, taking his hand. “I swear. But I have these crazy friends and weird stuff happens.”

“I liked James. I would have kept his secret.”

“You knew he was depressed because of a breakup, when I’d have to run off and see him sometimes. That was enough to know.”

“And he got back together with the guy after all that heartbreak?” Ben asked.

“JC’s pretty cool,” I said, smiling.

“I don’t get the heartbreak,” Ben told me. “I’ve never been dumped before, you know.”

“I didn’t know.” I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as he looked at me. I wasn’t sure if I was embarrassed or nervous. It was weird to feel either in front of this man that I’d slept with. Slept with, but who really didn’t know me. But I couldn’t tell him he was right. “But you’re a catch, Ben, so I’m not surprised.”

“Little weird for me to be the dumpee.”

I tried not to laugh. “Sorry.”

“I should have known that a rock star was out of my league.”

“I’m in a league all by myself. Which is sorta depressing, because it limits my options to other rock stars, and most of them are assholes.”

He started to say something, and then shook his head. “I think I might need to go with self-preservation here.”

“I’m not evil.” I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince. I felt bad that I’d used Ben as my rebound. I hadn’t intended to, but… I guess I did. I never shared this whole part of my life with him. It was never going to last.

“You’re just more than I can handle. How about a fling with me?” He moved a little closer to me and I didn’t stop him. “I can be as cool as that Justin guy, right?”

I bit back a laugh. Ben really wasn’t as cool as Justin Timberlake. In some ways he was way cooler. But it was hard to be as cool as Justin Timberlake.

“I gave up meaningless sex for New Year’s,” I whispered as he stroked my cheek and leaned into me.

He laughed. “That is a resolution I’ve never made.”

“Consider yourself lucky. And I didn’t give it up because of you, honestly. I gave it up because I need to do some work on myself.”

He kissed my forehead and I felt my heart flutter a little. “I think you’re pretty perfect right now.”

“I’m really not.” I took his hand, kissing it. He had such lovely hands. “I tried really hard with you.”

“I know.”

He sat back, away from me. “Right after we broke up, I went a little crazy and Googled all this stuff about you. I know half of it wasn’t true, but some of it had to be.”

I shrugged. “I don’t read all of my press. But we’re generally treated fairly well.”

“I knew parts of you that I saw there, but not all of it. All the wanton sex goddess stuff. Why didn’t I get that?”

Because Nick did.

But I laughed with him. “Good girl from Long Island, remember?”

“Yeah. I’m really looking forward to your show now. I’ve never seen you in action.”

“This show is not typical, believe me. It’ll just be me and Shirley and a guitar. Pretty mellow. Although I’ll do my best to rock out on a couple of things.”

“Jessa will be thrilled. Back to the songs about me.”

I laughed. “I’ll see if Shirley will let me do one. And I’ll make sure to let you know during the show, okay?”

“Good,” he said with a smile, and the rest of the drive passed in easy conversation. He helped me with my bag and I gave him a quick kiss before running in to see James and JC.

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