Oreos for Breakfast

Oreos For Breakfast: Chapter 36
By the Paperbag Princess and Pumpkin Coach

“Rache, it’s me,” James called, knocking on the door to my hotel room, and I ran over, letting him in.

“I thought you’d be at JC’s by now.”

We’d just finished three days of a video shoot and press in LA. We had the next day off, and then we were flying to Japan for a week of press.

We’d never done press in Japan before. But they wanted us, and we were going. That was good. It would distract me from whatever… happened tonight.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with me?” he asked, pulling his suitcase into my room. Lola hadn’t let him stay at JC’s while we were working, because we had an early call every day.

“Where are you going?” he asked, seeing my half-packed suitcase on the bed.

“I’m staying at a different hotel until we go to Japan.”

He gave me a look, sitting in a chair and putting his feet up on my bed. “Then come to JC’s with me. It’ll be fun.”

I shook my head, pulling things off hangers in the closet and tossing them towards my suitcase. I had more stuff now than I had when I got here. Damn free clothes. They should send free suitcases with the free clothes.

“I’m good. Don’t worry about me. Can you maybe take some of this crap to JC’s with you, though? I don’t need it all.”

“Where are you going?” He asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“I’m meeting Nick tonight at the Bonaventure, and I got a room there.” I reminded him. He knew about my meeting with Nick, but he was just playing dumb.

“The Bonaventure is in the middle of the city! Why would you stay there?”

“Yeah,” I said, folding things and attempting to stuff them into my suitcase.

“You’re giving up this for a view of the freeway?” he asked, motioning to the view of the ocean outside my window. “Is there even a pool at the Bonaventure?”

“I don’t need a pool. I’m fine, James.”

“You’re not fine, Rachel,” he said, taking my hands and making me sit down across from him. “You have not been fine since we got to LA, and you’re worse today. I don’t know where you were, but you weren’t with us.”

I was back at the Point house, scared and sad and convinced that nothing would ever be good between me and Nick again. It did get better, but now it was a year later and here I was.

“I’m just… I’m fine, James. I’m just nervous about seeing him,” I lied. Well, that wasn’t really a lie, it just wasn’t what was wrong with me all day.

“It’ll be fine. He’ll be there. Want me to go with you?”

“No,” I said, smiling at him. “I’m a big girl. I can have a drink with my ex.”

“Is he going to stay your ex?” James asked and I nodded.

“Absolutely. But it would not be meaningless sex with him, so I wouldn’t be breaking the New Year’s resolution.”

“Is that why you got the room at the Bonaventure?”

I shrugged, and we both smiled. Then his face got serious, and he took my hands again. “Why today, Rache?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why March sixth?” He pressed. Did he remember last March when he’d accosted me on the stairs at mom’s house and thought Nick and I had gotten engaged? Not engaged. Far from it.

I looked away from his eyes. “Six months after we broke up. You know the deal. It was your idea.”

“It’s not exactly six months after you broke up. More like six months and a week or so. He didn’t even know he was touring then, so you didn’t pick it because he’d be in LA tonight.”

I’d been pleased when I’d first seen his tour dates and LA was on March sixth. I knew he’d planned it that way, so he’d be here tonight.

And he’d have a show, so he couldn’t stay long. We were meeting at seven, and I knew he usually went on around nine or so. An hour would be fine.

“We were exhausted and tired of fighting, and I just picked a day.”

“No you didn’t,” James insisted, his voice soft. I should know better than to try and keep any secrets from James.

“You know,” I whispered, blinking back tears, still not looking at him. He had to have figured it out by now. I’d told him I thought I was pregnant at the time. He could guess what that meant.

“There was a baby… and then there wasn’t.” He said slowly.

“I had an abortion. It wasn’t like I really wanted it and then lost it,” I said, and James stroked my face, but I still didn’t look at him.

“I’m sorry, Rachel.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t know for sure.”

“No, I just guessed. Why would I know for sure?” James’ voice was so soft that I wanted to curl up next to him on the bed and just let him hold me. He’d do that if I asked. But I couldn’t. I had to face all my fears and insecurities today.

“Jeremy probably does. Lola had to set it up for us. Because Nick told me that I couldn’t just go to Planned Parenthood, like I did before.”

“Before?” James asked, a lot more surprised now.

Shit. He didn’t know that, either.

“Damon,” I admitted. “I sorta planned that one, but then Dad died, and…”

“Wait,” he said, and I looked at him. He was quiet for a moment, and then he looked back at me.

“Just catching up,” he said. “Damon had a baby, and he wanted her, so you thought if you could give him one, he’d stay.” James could always figure me out.

“I can be really stupid sometimes,” I said, and he shook his head.

“Makes sense. In a ‘what were you thinking’ sort of way.”

I had to smile at that. I probably should have told James before now. I just… hadn’t. How do you have that conversation? Just bring it up one day casually over breakfast. ‘So, remember after my dad died? Did I ever tell you that I found out I was pregnant…’ No. No reason to dredge that old memory up. Nick wouldn’t have even known if we hadn’t seen Damon the night of VMAs.

James pulled me into a quick hug and the memory of lying breathless on the floor of Nick’s hotel room after the VMAs evaporated into the air. Letting me go, he smiled down at me, kissing my forehead. “You should have told me.”

“I was embarrassed, James.”

“Never with me. I know all of your secrets.”

“Now you really do,” I tried to smile, but my heart wasn’t in it.

“No other skeletons in your closet? No one you killed off?”

“Promise,” I said as he made me really smile this time. “Nothing else.”

“Sure you’re okay for tonight?”

“I’m fine. And I’ll probably need a day to myself.”

“I’m going to call and check in on you tonight.”

“I’d like that.” And I would. No matter how prepared I was to see Nick and sure I was that my life would be fine without him. I would still need a shoulder to cry on. I wasn’t sure I was done mourning our relationship.

I checked my watch for the millionth time in the last fifteen minutes and then ran my fingers through my hair. Stupid stylist at the video shoot had convinced me to cut it and now I was sure it was sticking up on the ends. I should have gone back and let her do it before I came over here, but that was too much of a diva move even for me. He was the one who had Anna call me to see if we could move up the meeting… so where the hell was he?

Okay, Rachel… it was only five ‘til six. He wasn’t late yet. In five minutes he’d be late. Nick was always late, anyway. I knew he was coming, otherwise Anna wouldn’t have called me.

Unless she had finally realized her evil plan to have Nick all to herself. I could see it now. He was about to leave the hotel to come see me and she’d run out, stopping him as he opened the door of the cab. Their eyes locked and he realized that he didn’t need me because he truly loved Anna. Anna had been there with him all along – before me, before all the other women in his life. She knew the true Nick that even I didn’t know.

That wasn’t exactly an evil plan. Anna would be good for Nick. She could have him, after all. Maybe I should call her after he leaves and tell her that she should make her move. Was it wrong to offer relationship advice to another woman on how to score with your ex-boyfriend?

But Anna wasn’t evil, and she hadn’t been lying to me. Before she’d called this morning, I wasn’t so sure. Six months ago, we’d both promised, and I was here. I could still keep my promises to him. Would he keep his? A lot had happened in his life – and mine – in six months. I wasn’t the same person and I was pretty sure he wasn’t either. Maybe that was a good thing. I could handle seeing this new person who wasn’t “my Nick.”

Shit. That was him, saying something to the hostess, and then looking around. His blonde hair was spiky and his bright blue shirt made his eyes sparkle from across the room. He licked his lips like he always did when he was nervous.

Our eyes met, and I couldn’t catch my breath.

Shit. This might not be going according to my plan.

To be continued... 1.28.08

Disclaimer | Sudden Silence Website
Feedback to Authors | Tragical Fiction (home)

Subscribe to receive an email when this site is updated!

Powered by groups.yahoo.com