Oreos for Breakfast: Chapter 37

I came out of the shower drying my hair and Paris was sitting naked in bed, the covers still messed up all around her. The sheets were covered with papers and magazines. Was it weird that she had all the magazines and papers delivered every morning? She was a little obsessed with her own press.

“Another what?” I asked, shaking out my hair. I should probably get it cut before we left on tour. I checked myself out in the mirror. Paris had mirrors all over her room. Sometimes that was cool, and other times I just didn’t need to look at myself that much.

Yeah, my hair was falling in my eyes and that’d be really annoying on tour. “Should I get my hair cut, honey?”

Paris looked up at me, very serious for a moment, and then she smiled. “Yeah. We’ll go to my guy. He’s a genius. Look, this one has a good picture of you.”

She held out a magazine to me and I scanned the article quickly. It was about being sighted together at the AMA’s. But why was there a picture of Rachel?

“I’m hotter than her, right?”

Paris leaned over my shoulder as I sat on the edge of the bed, reading the article. I hadn’t even seen Jeremy at the AMAs. Did Rachel send him because she didn’t want to see me? Or was she really busy with her new boyfriend like they were speculating?

Wait. Paris asked me a question. I turned my head and kissed her quickly, “You are beautiful, baby. You don’t need me telling you that. This is a hot picture of you. I think I might have to take it with me today.”

I kissed her fully, sighing as we separated. She didn’t need me to tell her she was beautiful, and we both knew it. But she liked to hear it and it would quiet her for a while so I could analyze the picture of Rachel. She didn’t usually want me to see the articles that mentioned Rachel.

“Oh! That reminds me. I told Daddy that we’d have dinner with them tomorrow night. You’re free, right?”

I tried to busy myself finding clothes in the closet. About half my wardrobe was here at her house now. How’d that happen? Because she kept buying me clothes? Even Vinnie had commented that I was dressing better now that Paris was my personal stylist.

“Can’t. Promised the boys we’d go out. And I think we have some photoshoot or something at the studio tomorrow. Who knows how long that will go on.”

I didn’t even have to look behind me to see her pouting. But I didn’t want to have dinner with her family. That wasn’t what this relationship was, no matter what she thought.

“We can eat late. Come on… Daddy really wants to meet you. I tell him so much about you… you can’t blame a dad for wanting to meet the boy who has stolen his little girl’s heart.”

Was she serious with the little girl innocent bullshit? Had Daddy seen the sextape? I tried hard not to laugh. Pulling on a t-shirt, I grabbed my jacket.

“Gotta run, baby. Meeting Aaron for breakfast and then I’ve got rehearsal. I’ll… see what I can do about tomorrow, how’s that?”

Non-committal. That was good. It was enough and she smiled, kissing me quickly before turning her attention back to all the papers on her bed. I slipped out the back door, trying to avoid drawing attention to myself as the photographers were gathered at the end of the driveway. So far they hadn’t gotten many pictures of me leaving her house. They only liked it when we were together and that was fine by me.

“You’re late!” Aaron admonished me as I walked up to the restaurant around the corner from the hotel he was staying at with Mom. I was half-surprised he was here alone, but that was fine. Good, even. Dealing with Aaron was bad enough. Mom would be worse.

I probably couldn’t avoid her the entire time they were in LA, could I? They’d come after the AMAs in Vegas, but I wasn’t sure how long they were staying. Not long, I hoped.

“Duh. Have you never met me? Are they crowded?”

I nodded towards the doors and he shrugged. So like my brother. He could be here early, but wouldn’t put our name in or anything. He was useless. I smiled at the woman behind the counter and she pointed at a booth in the corner.

“C’mon, A.”

He followed me back to the booth and slid in across from me, staring at a menu. “I’m starving. What kept you?”

“You could have ordered a muffin or something at the counter. You’re a big boy.”

“Yeah, but you’re paying!” he squeaked.

I scowled at him. Mom and Dad were teaching him too well. “Whatever. I’m sure it’s less than five bucks, you can probably float that. So what looks good?”

“You keep avoiding telling me why you’re late.”

Omelet or pancakes? Both? Yeah, I needed my energy for rehearsal later. The waitress came over and I looked at Aaron. “You know what you want?”

“Sure… Granola, yogurt and coffee. Oh, and a short stack. Are you getting bacon, Nick?”

“Why not – ham and cheese omelet, coffee, short stack of pancakes and side of bacon.” I rattled off, not really thinking about it.

She took our menus and left, but Aaron just stared at me. “Well?” he finally said.

“Well what? How’s the fam?”

“That’s not what I want to talk about. How’s Paris?”

I sighed, playing with the creamer packages on the table, trying to see how many I could stack up before they fell. I got to five before Aaron knocked them down.

“Stop it! I’m building a tower.”

“Yeah, whatever. Tell me about the new girlfriend. I’ve seen the video, you know. She’s hot.” His eyes were wide and he moved closer to me like I was about to spill the dirt or something. Fat fucking chance, dude.

Aaron had seen my girlfriend’s sex tape? Of course he had. Anyone with a credit card could see it. “Whatever. She’s really pretty and loves her press. Now you know all there is to know about Paris.”

“How’d she make you late?” He laughed like he was in on some big secret.

Aaron didn’t want to know the truth. Because the truth was boring. The illusion of Paris was better than the reality.

I shrugged, “You know. Wouldn’t let me out of bed.” That was not completely a lie. She wouldn’t let me out of the bedroom until she told me all about the morning’s press.

“Do you think Rachel didn’t come to the AMAs because of Paris?” He asked, surprising me. Did Aaron read all my press now, too? I didn’t event want to read my press!

“No! I mean… maybe. I don’t know, Aaron. Rachel’s her own person. It’s not like she talks to me about her schedule anymore.”

“Well, you dating Paris freaking Hilton isn’t helping you get her back, either, bro.”

I glanced around. I didn’t expect any of Paris’ friends to be hanging around this dive diner, but you never knew. “I’m not trying to get her back! That’s your crazy idea.”

I stopped talking as the waitress put down two mugs and a carafe of coffee on the table between us. “Just a few minutes for your breakfast, boys. Need more creamer or sugar?”

I shook my head and she left.

Aaron picked up right where we left off. “It’s not crazy. It’s a good idea. Going out with Paris all the time is not helping. You need to woo her again like you did last year.”

I rolled my eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. First you want dirt on my new hot girlfriend, and now you’re berating me for not trying to get Rachel back? Make up your mind, dude! Besides, this is not why we met for breakfast. Tell me what’s up with you and Mom and Dad.”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” he said in his sulking tone. He was looking down at his coffee intently, but he couldn’t fool me.

“That’s not what you said yesterday when you called and begged me to meet you for breakfast this morning. Without the parental units.”

“I didn’t beg,” he whined. Ah, there was the petulant brother I knew so well.

“Whatever. Asked. So what’s going on? The same old shit or is it different?” Things had been okay when I left after Christmas. Not great, but Mom and Dad were talking to each other instead of screaming.

“She filed, Nick. She’s never done that before.”

I felt like the booth was spinning. “For divorce?”

“Yeah! For divorce. Says that she’s tired of Dad cheating and that she’s taking everything. Including me.”

Yeah, that sounded like Mom. Treating Aaron like one of the assets to be divided in the divorce. Not her son, but an investment that paid out dividends that kept her in the style that I’d helped her become accustomed to.

“Wow. That’s new. So is Dad cheating?”

He shot me a look that I knew too well. Of course Dad was cheating. It was easier than dealing with our mother.

“Shit. Is it serious?”

Aaron shrugged, “I think. Dad seems to like her and she’s really nice. She has a kid and she’s really cute.”

We didn’t usually meet the girlfriends.

“What does Angel think?”

“You know Angel. She hates Mom, so she thinks the new girlfriend is a good idea. I’m not so sure. I mean… I know they fight all the time, but they love each other, right?”

“I don’t know, A. Maybe they do but they just can’t live together? Maybe it’s all become about the business and that changed their relationship too much. I think we need to let them figure it out, you know? Their lives and we can’t live them for them. They’ll both get the futures they deserve.”

“Easy for you to say. You aren’t in the middle.”

He was right. I didn’t even know this was going on. I was really good at avoiding Mom’s calls and hadn’t talked to Dad, either. I knew over the summer he was seeing someone because Mom was never at the boat races with us. I was too much like Dad. I always needed a girl around and so did he. I hated that I was so much like him.

Rachel always tried to tell me that I wasn’t like him, but I think even she saw it this summer. Maybe that was part of the reason we broke up, because she realized how much alike we were. If Mom couldn’t fix Dad, maybe Rachel couldn’t fix me.

“So can I?”

I looked up at Aaron and noticed that our plates were on the table. When had that happened? I poured a bunch of syrup onto my pancakes and dug into them to buy myself a little time. Even if I hadn’t heard him, I knew what he was asking. He wanted to stay with me. Live with me. He was still a minor, but I could petition for custody if Mom and Dad were fighting over him. He could emancipate himself or something.

At Christmas, he’d wanted me to get back together with Rachel so we could take care of him together. Obviously he still thought that was the best idea, but he’d take just me if he had to.

“Aaron, I can barely take care of myself.”

“You’re a better parent than Mom or Dad! Hell, than Mom and Dad combined! At least I’m not just a paycheck to you!”

“What about Leslie and Angel? What will they do?” I asked. I didn’t need a house full of Carters to take care of.

“I don’t care! Why do I always have to care? They can take care of themselves. Leslie will go with Mom and Angel with Dad and they’ll be fine. No one’s fighting over them.”

He was right and we both knew it. Even so, we shouldn’t say it out loud. It was like it was bad luck or something.

We were quiet for a while as we concentrated on eating. Finally I broke the silence. “I’m sorry, Aaron. But I can’t be…”

He wouldn’t even let me finish. “I don’t need a guardian, Nick. I just need to not be in the middle of them! I know what’s going to happen and… I can’t do it again, man. I just can’t. I don’t need someone to take care of me. Just help me get out and I’ll take care of myself.”

“But you do need someone to take care of you, A. You’re only fifteen and you can’t live on your own in Los Angeles. I can’t let that happen.”

“But you’re the only one they trust. Sorta. You could take care of me. Set me up to live with you and help me with the music until I’m legal. It would be sweet.”

“I’m going on tour soon, Aaron. And after that… I don’t know.” I couldn’t tell him I might be back with Rachel. What would Rachel tell me to do? Would she use this as a reason not to come back to me? If I were Aaron’s legal guardian would she tell me that I had to concentrate on my family and not on her? That would be something that Rachel would do.

Or would she take me back because she was impressed that I helped my brother? Family was so important to her and maybe she would give me a second chance…

I couldn’t make this decision based on what Rachel would think. I had to do it based on what was best for me and Aaron.

“I’m not good for anyone, Aaron. I’m in this fucked up relationship with Paris and I can’t take care of you. I’m sorry, but I can’t. You can come stay whenever you want, but I can’t be your legal guardian. Besides, do you honestly think that’s going to keep them from fighting? It’ll just make it worse.”

And then I’d be in the middle. I knew I was a fucking coward, but I didn’t want to be in the middle. I could talk to Aaron and help him figure it out and avoid calls from either of my parents. It was better that way.

“Thanks a fucking lot, Nick! Way to care about your brother!”

He threw down his fork and started to get up, but I grabbed his arm. “Stop it,” I warned him, glancing around at the diner. A couple of people were looking at us, now that his voice had gotten loud.

Pouting, he sat down again, but didn’t look at me.

I poked holes in my pancakes for a minute, trying to figure out what to say. “You were too little to remember,” I said quietly.

“Too little to remember how bad it was when you left with Mandy? I remember everything, Nick. Every fucking minute.”

“You remember me leaving. But you don’t know why. You didn’t hear the fights with Mom about the fucking money, and how Dad accused her of stealing half of it. I mean… that’s just fucked up. He was making her out to be the bad guy? Like she had some offshore account where she was hiding all of my money?”

Rachel had pointed out just how fucked up that was, actually. Just about a year ago. When we’d spent days at the Point house, just talking, because…

Wasn’t thinking about that now. This wasn’t about Rachel.

“She probably was,” Aaron muttered, still looking out the window.

“Maybe,” I said. “But that’s how fucked up their marriage is, A. They should be more of a team than that, and they never were. Never. Anyway, I was in the middle of it then. I fucking know what it’s like to be asked to choose sides. Don’t think you’re the only one.”

“Then save me,” he begged, looking at me finally. He looked about five years old, not the tough fifteen he tried to be.

“I can’t,” I admitted. “I’ll just make it worse. You know that. If I’m your guardian, they’ll just drag me into it. And then everyone’s fighting- them, me, you, the girls will get involved. It’s better if I’m out of it, then you guys can come to me when it’s bad. I need to not take sides.”

“Taking me isn’t taking sides.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “They’ll make it into that. And it’s not like I can just kidnap you or something. We’ll have to go and talk to them about it, and one of them will decide it’s a great idea just to fight with the other one. Probably Dad. Then he’ll win, and he’ll be with us all the time and… no. I just can’t do it, A.”

“You’re so fucking selfish.”

I shrugged. “Yeah.”

“You get to go off and party with Paris Hilton every night, and I have to deal with our stupid family.”

“In a couple of years, you can get out of there, too. Sorry. I just… I can’t go back. I’m out now. And I love you guys, but it’s way too fucked up. You can call me, any time, you know that.”

“You never answer my calls,” he whispered.

Okay. He was right.

I was a terrible person.

“I will,” I promised. “I will. You and the girls. But I’m not talking to Mom or Dad. Besides, you know it’s going to suck to live with me. I can barely take care of myself. You’ll never have clean clothes or anything to eat.”

“I can buy food.”

“Who’s paying for breakfast?”

That made him smile, just a little, and I grinned. “I am a horrible big brother, and you know it.”

“You do suck,” Aaron admitted.

“See? You’d just be walking into another lousy situation, and then we’d end up hating each other, and we both need someone in this family that we like.”

He picked up his fork, making holes in my pancakes. It was better than punching a wall, I guess. “You promise you’ll answer my calls?”

“Swear. If I’m busy, I’ll call you right back. I’m here now, aren’t I?”

He shrugged. “I still think you should get Rachel back.”

“I’ll take that under advisement.”

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