Take the Fall

By Cori

Page 4

 

“Ready?” Kevin asked as Chelsea came out with her bag.

 

“Ready,” she answered casually, walking over to kiss Katie.

 

“Have a great time,” Katie said, and Kevin watched her eyes fill up with tears, trying to hide them from Chelsea.  “And behave yourself.”

 

“I will,” Chelsea moaned, heading over to Kevin.

 

“Okay, we’ll see you on Sunday, right?”  Kevin said, taking Chelsea’s backpack from her, placing his hand on her head.  He looked at Katie, offering her a smile, seeing the fear behind her eyes.  “Chels, go on out, I’ll be right there.  I’ll have her call you tomorrow?”

 

“It’s okay, Kevin.  Take your time with her.  I gave her a book for you,” she said, forcing a slight smile.  “She’ll tell you all about it.  Have a great time with her, okay?”

 

“I will.  I’ll see you Sunday.”  He nodded, feeling awkward for a moment as he stood watching her, but with another nod, he headed outside. 

 

Chelsea was already by the car, pulling strands of grass from the lawn as she waited.  “We’re going to your house now?”

 

“I thought we’d get some lunch first.  You hungry?”

 

 

 

“No, you’re not going to sit around home all weekend,” AJ said, standing in Katie’s living room.  “Kevin is a responsible, capable adult and has your cell phone number if he wants to reach you.  You are going to get out of the house and get your mind off of the fact that she’s with him.  Come on.”  He extended his hand, but Katie just sat and smiled at him, shaking her head.  “I mean it.  Come on.”

 

“I’m going to be horrible company,” she warned.

 

“I don’t care,” he said, keeping his hand extended.

 

“I’m going to think about it, regardless of where I am,” she explained.

 

“I know.  But you don’t need to be cooped up inside doing it, either.  It only gives you more time to freak out.”

 

She sighed, knowing she was going to give in.  He was right.  She would sit home freaking out.  Her rational thoughts told her she was being silly for no reason.  Chelsea spent the night with her parents all the time and she didn’t freak out.  But her emotional side was frantic.  This wasn’t her parents.  Chelsea was with Kevin.  Maybe getting out of the house would keep her from panicking the entire time.

 

“We won’t do anything taxing,” AJ continued.  “We’re just going to do some shopping, okay?  I need some tee shirts.”

 

She laughed, pushing herself up from the couch.  “You absolutely do not need more tee shirts,” she told him.  “How is that humanly possible?”

 

“I’m tired of the one’s I have, okay?”  He smiled, wiggling his fingers for her to take his hand.  “It’s an excuse to go shopping, don’t get rational on me.”  She slipped her hand in his with a smile and he drew her close to kiss her warmly.  “It’s fine, Kate.  Really,” he told her gently, holding her tightly.

 

“I know,” she answered, resting her head on his shoulder with a sigh.  “I never had to share her before, that’s all.”  She pulled back and looked at him.  “What if she loves him more than me?”  AJ laughed lightly and kissed her again quickly.  “I know that sounds stupid and pathetic, but…”

 

“In this case, Baby, I really don’t think there’s such a thing as more,” he said, leading her out of the house.  “Little kids just have an unending capacity to love.  Period.”

 

They got in the car and she sunk into the seat comfortably.  “I’m not very good at letting go, Kevin’s right.  I have to let him make decisions, too, but it’s killing me.  I haven’t had to discuss anything regarding Chelsea since she was born.  It was always my decision to do what was best for her.  Now I have to let someone else come in and discuss it and take care of her.  What if he doesn’t do it the right way?  Know what’s best for her?”

 

AJ lifted an eyebrow and looked at her.  “It’s Kevin, Katie.  Even if it’s not the same way you’d do something, he’s going to do right by her.  He’s not an imbecile.  He’s going to make sure she’s safe and secure and cared for.  Maybe it would help if you stopped thinking in ‘better’ and ‘worse’ terms and just say ‘different’ for awhile, because that’s all it really is, isn’t it?  It’s just different.”

 

She nodded with the in-fighting between rational and emotional continuing inside her head.  “I suck at being rational sometimes.”

 

“You’re emotionally involved.  Of course you don’t want to be rational.  That’s why you have other people who care around you.  So you can talk to them, and they can reassure you.”  He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it gently.  “It’s a whole new world for you right now.  A whole new, scary world, but it’s going to be okay.  Deep down, I think you know that, otherwise you wouldn’t have agreed to this sleep over in the first place.  Trust your judgment.  Chelsea’s going to come home and still love you.  I promise.”

 

She sighed, offering a smile.  “I’m going to hold you to that,” she teased, knowing full well that Chelsea would love her.  She’d be full of stories, waiting to tell her all about everything they’d done.  Letting go just wasn’t easy, but necessary.  She didn’t want to be one of those mothers that clung to their children, keeping them from exploring everything the world had to offer.  She wanted Chelsea to have everything, experience what it had to offer, and expand her vision of it.  She didn’t want a child that felt guilty for leaving when the time came; she just never realized that the time wasn’t when she went to college, but much, much sooner, in smaller increments.  She’d leave and come home over and over and over again, and it was up to Katie to trust that she would.  “And if she loves him more than me, it’s up to you to kill him and get rid of the competition, okay?”

 

“Yeah, sure, okay,” AJ chuckled.

 

“I’m just sayin’,” she laughed.

 

“I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you right now,” he said, lighting a cigarette as he put the window down.  “But from an outsider’s point of view, it could be seen as a bit of a reprieve for you.  A little extra time for yourself that you wouldn’t otherwise have, right?”

 

“Yeah, in a way,” she considered aloud.  “I never thought of it like that, I guess.  I never felt like she was taking something away from me, more like giving me something.”

 

“No, that’s not what I meant.  It’s obvious you’ve done everything you could for her, but I’m saying with some extra time on your hands, you can do something just for you that you otherwise wouldn’t think of doing.”

 

She shrugged in thought.  “You know, honestly, the only things I don’t get around to doing are the things that really aren’t all that exciting.  Cleaning, shopping…things like that.  If I ever need to do something, I’ve always had my parents around to take care of her while I did it.  God only knows what I would have done without their support.  Even if Chelsea was never born, I still think my life would be pretty much the same.  I’d still be doing what I’m doing today.  I’m just fortunate enough to be doing it and have Chelsea.  They made sure that I didn’t have to give up my dreams because of her.  They’ve been amazingly helpful.”

 

“I know my mom feels the same way about my grandparents.  And I know that I loved them for being there for us.  That they’d always be there for me.  But, even still, it can’t always be a piece of cake.”

 

“Hell, no,” she agreed with a laugh.  “But that doesn’t mean I resent having her in anyway.  It’s not always easy, and even having the support that I do, it’s not always easy, but we’ve managed to make it work.  Those times I felt entirely overwhelmed and completely out of my league, the next day would come and I’d be like ‘okay, I survived that one.  Next!’”

 

“All I know is that if I was a father at twenty-two, I’d have been a mess,” he said.  “Even without the drugs and alcohol…just thinking about having a baby when I was twenty-two blows my mind.”

 

“Blows mine too,” she admitted.  “I don’t know why I thought I’d be able to handle it.  I just knew that I couldn’t give her up when I found out I was pregnant.  Most of my friends at the time dropped off the face of the earth when I stopped going out.  The one’s that stuck around after she was born soon lost touch because we stopped having much of anything in common.  They were studying for college exams and going out, hooking up, and I was home breast-feeding and changing diapers.  Any spare money went right out the window, so I wasn’t hanging out.  I couldn’t stay out till all hours because I knew I’d have a crying baby waking me up at the crack of dawn, and I was so damn tired because I was up half the night with one, I wasn’t much fun, I guess.  Some friends stuck it out with me, though, and they’re just now starting to have kids and understand.  I’m the one with all the experience now.”

 

“You didn’t mind staying home while they were all going out?”

 

“Honestly…not really.  She amazed me after I had her.  I could have spent every night at home with her watching her breathe when she was first born.  She just fascinates me.  I don’t know how she became who she is, but it fascinates me that she’s this person all on her own.  Her own personality and thoughts and ideas.  Some of them better than others when it comes to scissors and clothing, but over all…I just know she’s been a blessing and I can’t imagine never having her.  Yeah, I was young and it was hard, but I can’t think of anything else that would be as rewarding or important.  I might feel differently if I had to give up something to have her…like school or a great job or something.  But I didn’t have to.  I was fortunate enough to have both somehow.”

 

“How did your parents take the news when you told them?”

 

“They weren’t thrilled, I can say that much.  I came back from Germany completely heartbroken and they were already concerned.  I think my dad wanted to find Kevin and kill him.  They begged me to track him down and tell him I was pregnant so he could support us, but I didn’t want to do that to him and probably, I was too stubborn to admit I could have used it.  I was going to do it on my own to prove that I could.  That was youth and stupidity talking.  They very reluctantly agreed with my decision, agreeing it was my decision, and they offered to support me however they could.  I lived with them until Chelsea was about three.  They helped me put a down payment on the house.  I managed to keep working, somehow, and keep my name out there.  I don’t know how it all happened, to be honest.  I just never let myself think that it was too hard, or too much or a burden to take on.  I decided to make it work, and they helped me do it.  If I ever needed anything, they helped me get it, especially if it came to Chelsea.  Clothes for school, groceries, doctors…it’s always been taken care of between us.  And they’re amazing at never saying ‘I told you so’ or telling me how I should raise her, or how I should live my life.  They’ve just…supported me as best they could.  Without them I probably couldn’t have made it work.  I think they’re secretly relieved now that Kevin knows, though.  I’ll admit, it’s got to be a comfort knowing they don’t have to take on all the responsibility with me anymore.  They always thought Kevin should be part of it.  And now that they met him, they’re sleeping again at night.”  She chuckled.  “I’m the only one that’s taking such a long time warming up to it all, I guess.  I’ve always sucked at, I don’t know, admitting I need help, I guess.  He’s offered to help with her expenses, you know.”

 

“He doesn’t talk about that,” AJ said, pulling into a parking spot.  “But it doesn’t surprise me.  He takes the responsibility seriously and doesn’t think it’s fair you had to handle it all on your own all this time.  He might spoil her rotten.”

 

“Over my dead body,” she answered with a smile.  “She’s going to be a normal kid no matter what.”

 

“Normal?” he teased.  “With us for uncles?  You got your job cut out for you.”

 

 

It was a long day, but he loved spending time with his daughter.  Sure, he’d spent time with nieces and nephews.  Taking care of kids wasn’t completely foreign to him, watching to make sure they weren’t hurting themselves, or anything else, keeping them amused.  This wasn’t much different.  What he found most amazing was the trust she had in him.  Nothing she said, or really did, but it was there.  She accepted that he was her father as easily as she accepted that the sky above them was blue.  She trusted him to take care of her, watch over her, as easily, it seemed, as she looked to Katie to do the same thing, no questions asked.

 

“Here’s the book,” Chelsea said coming downstairs in her pajamas, holding a photo album.  She got on the couch next to him and opened the cover, letting it rest on his lap as she climbed up on her knees.  “See?  This is mom, with me in her belly still.  We’re at the hospital.”  She turned the page and pointed to a picture.  “And this is my very first picture.  Grandpa said I was twenty minutes old.”

 

She turned the page for him and tilted her head, studying the next picture.  “This is me coming home from the hospital.  Grandpa said it was my first car ride, but I don’t remember it because I was just a baby.  And this is my first bath.”  She pointed to the picture and rolled her eyes at Kevin.  “Mom said they’re going to show this to every boy I date.”

 

“If she doesn’t, I will,” he laughed, looking at the photo and kissing the top of her head.  Katie’s hand was just slightly smaller than Chelsea’s full body.  It amazed him, looking at that picture and seeing the tiny animated features now sitting next to him.

 

“This was the Halloween that I went as Barbie,” she continued.  “Mom took me up and down the street and I got to go to the doors all by myself.  Well, except for the house at the corner because I was scared of Mrs. Tomlinson’s dog.  But I’m not anymore.”

 

“Well, that’s good,” Kevin encouraged, keeping the chuckle low in his voice.

 

“Yeah,” she replied easily.  “Oh!  These are my rocks!”  She pointed to another photo of painted rocks.  He couldn’t quite make out what was painted on them.  “I used to paint rocks all the time and the mailman would buy them for a penny,” she explained.  “Mom said it was because he knew good art when he saw it and that I was going to take after her and be an artist.”

 

“Are you?”

 

She shook her head as she flipped the page.  “Nah, I’m gonna be a teacher.”

 

“You know that already, huh?”

 

“Yeah.  I like school.”  He smiled to himself and ran his hand down her hair thinking ‘that’ll change, Baby.’  There was going to be a lot of changed decisions in her future, he considered.  “And this is my first day of school.  I went shopping with mommy and we picked this dress out specially for that.”  She wore a little red and blue plaid dress and stood next to a bright pink Barbie knapsack with shoulder length hair and very straight bangs and he felt tears swell up in his eyes.  “I didn’t want to go, and I cried when mom took me into the classroom.”

 

“But you just said you liked school,” he said.

 

“I do now, but I didn’t then.  I have new friends now.” 

 

Each page was filled with pictures of Chelsea growing up, and she explained each one to him, filling in small details about birthday parties, Halloween costumes and various trips they took.  Beneath each picture was a place and date, written neatly in Kate’s handwriting.  With each picture he remembered his own childhood and silently compared it to hers.  He wore a pair of blue pants and white tee shirt his first day, and the coolest pair of sneakers that he begged his parents for the entire summer.  His favorite Halloween costume was when he got to dress like Spiderman.  The simple excitements of birthdays and Christmases that he’d forgotten about until he recognized it in her face and there was the familiar pang in his chest of wondering how much he missed out on never knowing her until now…and how much he gained by going through these photos with her now.

 

The last page was a photo, not in the book and he knew immediately that Katie had taken it herself.  It was a black and white close up of Chelsea looking off into the distance, as if she didn’t know her picture was being taken.  A few stands of hair hung over her forehead and she looked as if she was day dreaming.

 

Chelsea picked it up and handed it to him.  “You can have this one put in a frame,” she said.  “Mom took it a couple of weeks ago and said we could surprise you with it.”

 

“I will get a frame tomorrow for it,” he said, kissing the top of her head.  “Thank you.”

 

“What’re we going to do tomorrow?” she asked.

 

“I don’t know.  What would you like to do?  Go to a movie or something?”

 

Once Chelsea was in bed, he came back out of her room and stood in the middle of the living room.  9:30…what now?  Another new experience to discover.  It was still early for him.  Under normal circumstances, he might be on his way out.  But now, he had to stay in and watch her.  Did he have to stay quiet?  Did she sleep heavily?  Was she going to be okay, or would she wake up and be scared not remembering where she was?  Eventually he sat down and picked up the photo album again, slowly going through the pictures this time, studying each one of them.

 

1998…’Quit Playing Games’ was on the charts in the US, the lawsuit with Lou was settled, Brian had his heart surgery…and his daughter was born at 3:17 in the morning on August 28^th.  She had Katie’s eyes, his nose, and a head of straight black hair.  1999…’Millenium’ was released, they sold out their tour in one day, N’Sync jumps on their coat tails and joined Jive…and Chelsea went to the zoo for the first time, and rode on a pony.  2000…Cover of Rolling Stone, Brian married LeighAnne…and Chelsea had an inflatable kiddie pool in the back yard with a little slide.

 

He could go through each photo, remembering what was happening in his life and it still seemed surreal that this other life was happening without his knowledge, as if it was an entirely different world.  Chelsea had skimmed over the written details and he took his time absorbing them now.  Tucked in a small envelope was some baby hair tied with a small pink ribbon.  Chelsea’s first haircut written on the outside.  Her first words, ‘nana’ meaning ‘banana’ and ‘hot’, written next to another picture.  Katie had given him details, and he felt the bittersweet appreciation for it.  Everything he’d missed, but was now given a chance to be part of it.

 

How did he make up for it all?  Not necessarily just to Chelsea, but to Katie?  Seven years of her life was given to raising their child on her own, and it didn’t seem as if she missed out on anything.  How difficult had it been on her?  How scared was she when she got sick?  How proud was she when she took her first steps?  How did she juggle work and raising her?  Afford everything?

 

And he remembered the look on her face today when he picked Chelsea up.  Chelsea had spent the night away before, but Katie looked so scared, so sad.  What made this so different from all those other times?  She already recognized the trust Chelsea had in him, and she knew she was truly sharing her daughter with him for the first time.  She could send Chelsea off for a sleepover with her parents, but there was a difference.  Katie had the last word, even with her parents, about what was best for Chelsea.  Now, she was giving up part of Chelsea’s dependence on her, and handing it over to him.  She had to give up part of that final decision now and trust him.  And he knew, regardless of what she said, she didn’t trust him 100% and she still handed Chelsea over to him.  Doing the ‘right thing’ couldn’t be easy on her.  He didn’t know how he would handle it if the situation was reversed.

 

All he knew was that he truly enjoyed being with Chelsea.  He loved that she looked up to him and was so open and chatty.  He loved watching her eyes brighten when she was excited, and how dark they got when she was being serious.  He loved listening to her play by herself with her dolls, making up stories.  She was well behaved, intelligent, imaginative, and trusting.  A well-rounded, typical seven year old.  And, when she kissed him goodnight, she said ‘I love you’ and almost made him cry.  Why?  Why did she love him?  What had he done to deserve that kind of unconditional trust and love? 

 

He picked up the last photo and studied it for a long moment, unable to keep the smile from his face.  He hadn’t done anything, he realized.  It was simply part of being a trusted parent, wasn’t it?  Part of what made being a parent so amazing?  Kids loved them under any circumstances, and it was up to them to live up to their love.

 

 

 

She felt a hand slide gently down her arm and AJ’s voice whispering her name.  Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up quickly, not sure where she was for a brief moment until she looked around.  There were credits scrolling across the wide screen TV and she blinked over to AJ, smiling at her.  “You fell asleep,” he informed her.

 

“Oh God, I’m sorry!” she exclaimed, reaching out to touch his arm.

 

“I blame it on the couch all the time,” he said.  “It sucks you in, doesn’t it?”

 

She nodded, stretching out slightly and shaking her head.  “Still…”

 

“I just wanted to see if you wanted me to drive you home, or if you wanted to stay?” he asked, running his hand down her leg softly.  “I could put in another movie to put you to sleep if you’d like,” he teased.

 

“Oh, funny, funny, ha, ha,” she groaned, dropping back down to the couch and stretching her legs across his lap.  “It’s the couch,” she teased back with a wink, nudging his stomach with her toes.  “What time is it anyway?”

 

“A little after two.”  Her eyes widened.  “You’ve been asleep for about an hour, yeah.”

 

“God, that’s embarrassing,” she chuckled, hiding her face in her hands.

 

He leaned over, slipping in between her and the back of the couch, pulling her hands from her face.  “I don’t mind,” he said.  “It was during the movie, not a conversation.”  He leaned over and kissed her quickly, turning her chin to face him before kissing her more deeply.  “Or during a kiss.”

 

“As if,” she chuckled.

 

He pulled back slightly with his own light laugh.  “You mean I’m pretty good at that?”

 

“Really good, you freak,” she said, pulling him back down to kiss her.  “Hours and hours worth of good,” she whispered into his ear before kissing his throat, her lips feeling him swallow heavily.  She was wide awake now, feeling the heat of his body next to hers and the rise and fall of his chest.  She lifted her hands slightly to hold onto his arm, running her hand over it slightly to feel the taut muscles as they shifted slightly.  Her fingers reached up and played with the ends of his hair on his neck as she continued to explore his mouth, wondering where they would stop tonight.  Wondering if she wanted to.

 

His hand slid over her belly , slowly finding its way beneath her tee shirt and up to outline the shape of her bra, his fingers sliding beneath it until he slid it up to touch her bare breast.  It was tight and uncomfortable, but she didn’t want to stop him.  She didn’t want to stop kissing him, or feeling his hand on her.  Eventually, she pulled away, sitting up slightly to let him slide the tee shirt over her head and unclasp her bra.  Before she could lie back down, his mouth had found her breast, kissing her nipple until he could wrap his lips around it and flick it with his tongue.

 

She interrupted him only long enough to pull his tee shirt over his head, running her fingertips down and over his shoulders, closing her eyes to the sensations; his mouth, his hand on her other breast, her fingers in his hair and the warmth of his skin next to hers.  Slowly, he came back to explore her mouth, his hand sliding down her belly and over her shorts, between her legs to caress her inner thighs.  His fingers slipped beneath the material of her shorts and panties and she gasped quickly, biting his bottom lip softly in a kiss.  He shifted again to slide his hand down her belly, beneath the waistband of her clothing to the wetness between her legs, begging to be touched.

 

She wanted to do the same, to reach down and feel his hardening dick pressing against his khaki’s but she couldn’t move as he slid his fingers along her clit.  Instead, she kissed him hard and long, pulling his head to her as she moaned and gasped with his touch, lifting her hips slightly up to his touch.  “I’m coming,” she muttered breathlessly, closing her eyes as he brought her to an orgasm that spread through her body.

 

She devoured his mouth in a kiss, feeling her heart pound against her chest and her body ache with the pleasure.  When she could finally move, she ran her hand over his groin and quickly undid the fastening to hold his dick in her palm and massage his firmness.  It was his turn to moan, lifting his head back with his eyes closed and fall against the back of the couch.  She shifted onto her side and kissed the center of his chest before sliding her mouth over one of his nipples, bringing on another moan from AJ and his hand to her hair, pulling her against him.

 

“Harder,” he mumbled, pressing his hips into her hand and she obeyed the command, tightening her grip on him before sliding her thumb over his tip.  He released a grunt and sucked in his breath with the touch.  As she pressed her lips against his neck, she did it again and he gasped, thrusting his hips against her again.  “Watch out,” he muttered breathlessly, shifting onto his back beneath her as his hips rose again and froze with his release.  He pulled her head down for an intense kiss until she was certain she couldn’t breathe if he didn’t release her.  He did, but followed the release with several short, quick kisses in between catching his breath and starting to laugh.

 

“What’s so funny?” she asked, pulling up to rest on her elbow and look down at him.

 

“We could have had a lot more room if we took this upstairs,” he said, lifting his head up to kiss her again quickly.  “But no, we struggle like a bunch of kids on the couch.”

 

“It would have taken too much energy to go upstairs,” she told him, running her hand over his chest lightly, watching her fingers spread over his skin.  “Besides, I doubt we would have used more room if we had it.  Makes it kind of hard to make you moan and grunt if I’m on the other side of the bed.”

 

He closed his eyes lazily and smiled slightly.  “You have a point.  But still…”

 

She watched his chest rise and fall beneath her hand, and he reached up to rest his hand on her arm, intertwining his fingers with hers.  “We could go upstairs now,” she suggested, looking down to him as he opened his eyes.  “As long as you have protection, that is.”

 

He nodded, studying her face.  “I do.  But only if you think we’re ready,” he asked, slight hesitation in his voice.  “I don’t want to rush anything.”

 

“I don’t think we are,” she replied, leaning down to kiss him.  “If anything, I think we’re over due.  After that, all I want is to feel you inside me.”  She sat up and handed him some napkins from the coffee table to clean up.  She stood up, stretching out her hand to his and let him lead her upstairs to the bedroom, already her heart pounding with nerves and anticipation.

 

AJ led her into his bedroom and stopped in the middle of the room to take her into his arms and simply kiss her, running his hands over her bare back and pulling her against him.  She wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling the heat of his skin against hers and slowly ran her hand up his spine to feel the muscles beneath her palm.  Eventually, he walked her backwards to drop down on the mattress, covering her body with his as his lips just explored her skin – the inside of her elbows, her shoulders, her belly, her breasts, her neck.  His mouth touched and tasted every exposed part, taking his time to cover her before finding her mouth.

 

They managed to rid themselves of the remaining clothing and lingered side by side just touching and kissing exposed skin, looking into one another’s eyes at intervals to check that they were okay, that they were ready to take another step.

 

She pushed him onto his back gently, lying on her side next to him with her head in her hand.  Her free hand slid down his chest, tracing the tattoo on his navel for a moment before reaching down further to take him into her palm again, massaging him softly before continuing down to trace his balls with her fingertips and caress the inside of his legs before fondling him again.  His eyes remained intent on her face, even if she was watching her hand touch him.  She leaned over and kissed again, still fondling him until he placed his hand over her wrist and moved it away to sit up and go to the nightstand before rolling the condom on.

 

A moment later he was with her again, drawing her to him in a deep, lingering kiss as her hand found his dick again.  He shifted slightly, placing his hands on her waist and bringing her on top of him, reaching down to hold himself as she lowered herself to accept him into her growing wetness.

 

She took her time accepting his length, teasing him with her movements until she had finally let him slide entirely inside of her.  She held the position and closed her eyes, dropping her head back for a moment with the sensation before moving again, releasing him completely to come back and accept him again.  His hips rose to greet her and his hands reached up to cover her breasts, massaging them in his palms as they moved together again.  “You feel so good,” she whispered, dropping her head back again, moving against him quicker, and shifting slightly for him to rub against her clit.

 

He pushed himself up briefly to kiss her, falling onto his back again and resting his hands on her waist, directing a faster pace, unwilling to let her release him again.  She bit her lower lip, keeping her eyes on him intently as he watched her rise and lower along his dick until the pace quickened even more.  His head pressed back into the mattress and he arched his back, pulling her down against him faster and faster until his hips lifted off the mattress and he held onto her firmly, bucking against her in his orgasm, grunting loudly and breathlessly.

 

She wasn’t ready, though, and when he dropped back down to the mattress, she began writhing against him with her own moans.  As she dropped her head back, she felt his fingers slide between her legs to rub against his dick and her clit.  It was an amazing sensation, and she felt herself push against him and go light headed for a moment until she dropped against his chest as her own orgasm exploded throughout her body.

 

She buried her face into his neck, gasping for air, sweaty and tired and not wanting him to pull out of her just yet.  It all felt too good, too perfect.  She could feel his chest rising beneath her, and his hands resting on her back, holding her tightly against him.  “That was amazing,” he whispered in her ear and she pulled back to receive a long, lingering kiss.

 

She couldn’t even respond.  Everything she wanted to say sounded so cliché or lame.  ‘Yeah, it was,’ or ‘uh-huh,’ or ‘me too.’  She could only kiss him again, deeper and longer, clinging onto him until her heart rate slowed and she knew she had to lie down next to him or her legs would fall asleep. 

 

“And you thought we weren’t ready,” she finally managed to tease, curling up next to him once he disposed of the condom.

 

“Thanks for proving me wrong,” he said, kissing her forehead after turning out the lights.  “Feel free to do that as many times as you want, okay?”

 

 

 

Kevin’s eyes flashed open to look at the clock.  The time just changed to 10:03 and he flung the blanket off him, and headed out to the hallway.  Chelsea’s door was open and he looked in, not finding her.  He slept way too long, meaning to get up at 9:00.  As he made his way downstairs, he could hear the TV softly and found Chelsea sitting on the floor with the remote and a half empty glass of milk.

 

“You don’t have any cereal,” she informed him without looking away from the screen.

 

“No,” he said, finding his voice.  “No, I was going to make up breakfast.  How long have you been up?”

 

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, still glued to the TV.  “Sponge Bob was on.”

 

He looked at the screen and squinted.  “Isn’t that Sponge Bob?”

 

“A different one,” she answered, turning to him when a commercial came on.  “What’re you making for breakfast?”

 

“Eggs?” he questioned.  “Do you like eggs?”

 

“I like pancakes better, but I’ll eat eggs if that’s all you have.”

 

“That’s all I have, Darlin’.  Do you like them any special way?”

 

“What about French toast?  You know how to make that, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” he nodded slowly.  “I can make French toast.”  He rubbed his chin watching her.  “Syrup or cinnamon sugar?”

 

“Cinnamon sugar, please.”  She turned back to the TV and he was tuned out.

 

“Hey, Chels?  Why don’t you come into the kitchen and help me?”

 

She turned to look at him, her turn to blink oddly at him.  “Help you?” she questioned.

 

“Come talk to me,” he said, stretching his hand out to her.  “Keep me company.”

 

“Oh,” she said, pausing for a minute to look at him.  “Okay.”  She shrugged and climbed up from the floor, following him to the kitchen.  “Don’t you need coffee first?” she asked.  “Mom always has to make coffee first.  I don’t mind waiting.”

 

“Thanks,” he said, as she climbed on a stool and he started coffee.  “So, did you sleep okay?”

 

“You snore,” she informed him.  “But I just closed my door and couldn’t hear you then.”

 

“Sorry,” he chuckled.  “Other than that?”

 

“Fine.  You have a lot of channels on your TV…and a lot of dvd’s.  Most of them are ‘R’ though, did you know that?”

 

He froze, head stuck in the refrigerator in panic.  What movies did he have?  She wouldn’t watch them…would she?  “You didn’t watch anything, did you?”

 

“Duh!  They have an ‘R’ on them.  I’m not allowed to watch those movies.” 

 

He lifted his head to look at her over the door.  “Uh, watch your tone, Chelsea.”

 

“Sorry,” she mumbled.  “No, I didn’t watch them.  Can we go to a movie today?”

 

“Sure,” he replied, digging through the cabinets for a bowl.  “Which one?”

 

“Oh, I want to see Herbie.”

 

He chuckled.  “Know what?  I saw the first one when I was about your age.”

 

Her eyes widened.  “They had Herbie when you were little?”

 

“Yeah, this one’s a remake.”

 

“Oh, cool.  Did you like it?”

 

“Yeah, I think so.  I don’t remember much about it.  Just that I saw it with my brothers and my dad at a drive-in.  It was in the summer, and it was really hot, and I played on the playground in between the movies.  I changed into my pj’s in the car and, I think, I fell asleep during the second movie.”

 

She giggled.  “You changed in the car?  With everyone watching?”

 

He crinkled his nose as he beat the eggs.  “I don’t think they saw anything.”

 

“That must have been cool.  I’ve never been to a drive-in.”

 

“Yeah, they don’t have them around as much anymore.  But we can go see Herbie today.  Anything else you want to do?”

 

She puckered her lips in thought and he thought he saw himself in her gesture.  “Nah, I don’t think so.  Anything you want to do?”

 

“Just spend some time with you, Darlin’.  We could go hang out at the pool at some point.  How’s that sound?”

 

“Cool.”  She nodded slightly and rubbed her open palm over the counter in front of her.  He dipped the bread in the egg mixture, flipped it over and started to drop it into the frying pan when he caught her odd look.  “What’re you doing?”

 

“I’m making French toast like you asked me to.”

 

“No,” she shook her head, “I mean, how come you’re not letting the bread soak it up?  That’s how mom does it.”

 

“How do you mean?  This is the only way I know how to make it.”

 

“You’re supposed to let the bread float in the eggs,” she informed him, pointing to the bowl.  “Then you put it in the pan.”

 

“Oh…”  He put the bread back in the bowl and looked for her approval.  “You’re gonna tell me when it’s time?”

 

“Sure.”  She smiled brightly, sitting up straighter and peering into the bowl, watching intently.  She furrowed her eyebrows a moment and nodded seriously.  “It’s time now.”

 

“Okay, thank you.”  He dropped the bread into the pan and waited, glancing over to Chelsea for her approval.  A little later, they were at the kitchen table and she was chewing happily, nodding her head side to side to a silent beat.  “Whatcha singing in there?” he asked with a smile, tapping her forehead with his finger.

 

“Nothing.”  She shrugged.  “I just like French toast.”

 

“So, that’s a happy dance?”

 

She considered that for a moment and started bobbing again.  “I guess so.”

 

He kept trying to think back to when he was her age, wondering if he did things like that, too.  He didn’t remember it if he had, although he did remember breakfast on Sunday mornings after church with the whole family.  His father reading the paper, Gerry reading the sports section, his mom shuffling between the kitchen and the table with more food, and he and Tim picking on one another, stealing food off each other’s plates.  It was loud.  His parents attempted to have conversation over them, Gerry telling he and Tim to knock it off.  Active, lively…a family.  And here he sat with his child, watching her dance to the beat of her chewing.  Would there be siblings for her in his future?  Would she look back on her mornings with him and have a sense of comfort?  Closeness?

 

“When can we go to the pool?” she asked, her mouth full of French toast.  “Is it close?”

 

“Very,” he said, sipping his coffee.  “We can go once I finish my coffee and you get ready.  Did you bring stuff with you, do you know?  Do you need a towel and stuff?”

 

“I didn’t bring a towel, but mom packed the sunscreen, I think.  I’ll have to go check.”

 

“Okay, you go change and get your stuff together and we’ll go pretty soon.”

 

 

He had no idea who the people were she talked about, but he was learning all about her friends, who liked which boy in her class, and even got a lecture about how a butterfly was made with tissue paper.  His mind was beginning to whirl with her conversation and he had a hard time keeping track of the topics as she moved from one to the other so quickly.  In between sentences, she continued to change the radio station, telling him who each singer was, and whether or not she’d met them, or liked them.  Occasionally he could chime in saying whether or not he’d met them or would like to.

 

“That’s Elton John,” she told him with ‘Can You Feel the Love’ on the radio.

 

“I sang with him,” he told her.  “All of us did for a movie.”

 

“Did you do the Lion King with him?” she asked excitedly, her eyes widening.

 

“No, we sang with him for the movie ‘Road to El Dorado.’”

 

“Oh,” she said, loosing her excitement.  “I didn’t like that one.”  He had to laugh at the pure honesty.  There would be no impressing this little one.  He reached over and tousled her hair gently.  Out of anyone in the world, she might be able to lift him up and keep him most grounded.

 

 

 

Katie woke up tangled in the sheets and AJ’s limbs.  His arms were still wrapped around her, one of his legs was between hers, and his other leg stretched along one of hers.  When she fell asleep, her head was resting on his shoulder.  She didn’t even wake up as they intertwined, and she usually was the first person to move away in her sleep to stretch out.  Odder still, she didn’t even mind.  She felt safe and secure, protected, but now that she was awake, she felt like she was suffocating breathing against his chest and she had to move.

 

AJ shifted along with her as she rolled over, keeping herself entwined in his arms, but pressing her back against his stomach instead.  Part of her wanted to fall back to sleep knowing there was no rush to get up.  Part of her wanted to stay awake and think about what happened last night…hell, just a few hours ago.  All she had to do was remember the way he felt inside of her and she could feel the shiver of pleasure.  When was the last time she woke up with someone and didn’t feel the screaming threat of regret or fear?  She felt as if last night was exactly what was supposed to happen, exactly how it was supposed to feel being with someone.  She could look at him, and herself, in the eye and feel completely natural about it.

 

She’d heard stories about AJ and part of her, at first, was a little scared by the thought of being sexual with him.  However, when he kissed her, she knew he respected her.  When he kept pulling back and looking at her, watching to see if she was okay, she knew he wouldn’t do anything she wasn’t comfortable doing.  She wasn’t even sure how she knew, but it was there somewhere.  It was just understood.

 

Everything about them was different, she considered as she listened to his steady breathing.  Not just a three year age difference, but everything else.  They had completely different lives.  All that time she considered him to be self assured and confident he was hiding his fears in the bottom of whatever bottle he could reach first.  Somehow, she missed seeing the real person he was until recently, and she wasn’t even sure when she started to.  She saw something new in him, something so vulnerable.  All his joking and laughter was suddenly seen as a smoke screen for the person that looked for her approval before he touched her.  It was tender and sweet, and out of everything she’d ever seen in him, that was what she was falling for.

 

Maybe it was because he wasn’t hiding it any longer, more comfortable in being unsure of himself instead of having to put on a show all the time.  Maybe that was why she was suddenly seeing it.  Maybe it was just because seven years ago, he was so much younger and so much more restless.  This person was a little more settled, a little more comfortable with who he was becoming than worrying about everyone else’s perception of him.  Maybe it was a combination of everything that had happened.  She didn’t know, but she knew she was beginning to fall for him and the only thing she did worry about was Kevin’s reaction to them when he found out.

 

It was taboo to go for your ex’s friends, wasn’t it?  Wasn’t there some kind of code somewhere she was supposed to follow?  But it was ridiculous to deny herself of this.  Ridiculous to walk away from something so amazing just because of some imaginary code.  Is this why they wrote the cliché ‘alls fair in love and war?’  But what was fair when it was love, an ex, a best friend, and a brother all in one?

 

He shifted behind her, and soon she felt his hand run along her stomach gently.  “You awake?” he whispered.

 

“Yeah.  Good morning.”  She curled up closer to him and sighed contentedly.  “Sleep okay?”

 

“Great.  You?”  He moved the hair off her neck and kissed her shoulder gently.

 

“Really good.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back to sleep, or just lay here all morning.”

 

“I like both options,” he mumbled before yawning, burying his head into the pillow.  “But I’m hungry.”

 

“So, we eat and then come back to bed?”

 

“Mmm, good plan…just a few more minutes, though.”  He sighed heavily and lowered his head to her shoulder curling into her, and she was certain he fell back to sleep.  She just closed her eyes, feeling him beside her for however long it would last.

 

 

 

“I tried to tire her out for you,” Kevin said with a quiet laugh, carrying Chelsea asleep on his shoulder into the house and holding her overnight bag in his other hand.  Katie immediately took it from him and led him down the hall to Chelsea’s bedroom.

 

They tucked her in together and she kissed Chelsea’s forehead, smoothing her hair back before the child rolled over.  She touched Kevin’s arm gently making her way back to the living room, letting him say goodbye and he followed moments later.  “Nice job, Dad!” she teased with a grin.  “Handled that like a pro!  You’ve had some practice this weekend, huh?”

 

“No, I’ve had some practice with a few nieces and nephews.  Like riding a bike,” he teased back smugly.  “But I think she had a good time.”

 

“She’ll tell me all about it, I’m sure.  What about you?  Did you have a good time?”

 

She could see the smile brighten his face immediately.  “Yeah, I had a real good time.  And thank you for the photo and album.  It’s great.  I really appreciate it.”

 

“Well, you needed something to show off, right?” she said, standing across from him.  He stood and looked at her, and she wasn’t sure if he was waiting to be asked to sit, or stay for a bit, or what.  But AJ was right.  It’s a lot harder to be in front of him without distractions, especially after having spent the entire weekend with AJ.  “Glad you like it.”

 

“Yeah, I do.”  He nodded, keeping his eyes on her and they fell into silence for a moment.  “Well…okay.  Guess I should go.  I’ll call during the week to talk…to Chels, and we’ll set up some other time to get together.”

 

“Okay, good.  I’d, uh, ask you to stay, but I’m pretty tired myself,” she stammered, making excuses.  She had a weeks worth of laundry to catch up on, dishes in the sink, and needed to, at the very least, clean the bathroom.  All the things she’d planned to do this weekend but was sidetracked by AJ.

 

“No…it’s good.  I’ll catch up with you later.”  He headed towards the door and she froze when he leaned over to kiss her cheek gently.  “G’night.”

 

She closed the door behind him and rested her back against it with a heavy exhale.  That was a lot harder than she thought it would be.  How did AJ spend an entire day with him?  “Wow,” she whispered to herself and inhaled deeply.