Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 2
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Somehow he had fallen asleep and woke up to the darkened room in the back of the bus and the sound of the motor humming. One of these days he wouldn't think of the oddity of a tour bus, even after all this time. That everything he "needed" was within twenty feet, including a huge bed and bathroom, television, computer and phone -- that traveled 80 mph in the dark of night.

Once he pushed himself up from the mattress and ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes caught on the envelope with his mother's handwriting on the outside. He stretched across the bed and slid the envelope towards himself, emptying the contents out in the middle of the mattress. Looking around, he realized she hadn't been lying. She had found his booty, all right.

There were clippings from the high school paper, his prom pictures, the football team and some shots of him on stage as Conrad from 'Bye, Bye Birdie'. And all of that had been placed on top of the yearbook. "'A Step Beyond' Class of 1989" was printed in black on a putty colored binding and there was a picture of the front of his school in the center.

He remembered packing this up and taking it down to Florida when he'd first moved, but he hadn't taken it back with him after… He hadn't even thought of it since putting it in that box and storing it away in his closet. Jimmy, his oldest friend from high school, had scoffed at him for bring it along with them when they left, but he occasionally found Jimmy looking through the pages once in awhile when the homesickness struck. Just looking at the cover was enough to bring back the feelings of it. Not wanting to eat, not really knowing anyone, the change from Kentucky to the palm trees and beaches, not knowing where to go, or what direction to head in, or have that constant, daily backing of his family at his beck and call. Certainly he knew they were there and would support him, but knowing was something completely different than asking 'can I borrow $20' over breakfast in the morning.

He sat back, beginning to flip through the pages and saw the faces of a past he'd almost forgotten. Hallways, classrooms, teachers, that person you saw on the way to Math every day at their locker and never knew their name. Somehow they all seemed to know his, even back then. He was on several pages, in lots of group shots, the football team picture, the chorus picture, theatre pictures… He was everywhere it seemed, in most pictures outside of school activities, and Jana was there. Next to him, sitting on his lap, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding hands, giving her a piggyback down the hallway.

He read through some of the entries people had written in the pages and stopped when he saw Jana's signature next to a picture of them at a football game. He was in uniform, holding his helmet in one hand, and she was in her cheerleading uniform. They were holding hands, walking off the side of the field after a game, and to look at them, you'd think they didn't know there was a crowd around them. He was laughing. She had her head tilted towards his arm.

Dear Kevin,
I can't believe you're graduating! I don't know what I'm going to do without you here next year!! You made this year for me. Everything I remember about my Sophomore year in High School is going to involve you…isn't that weird? I only hope that when you remember back you'll think of me. I'll never forget seeing you that first time in the hallway and the day you came up to me at my locker and asked me to go to the homecoming dance with you. I thought I was going to die! Remember that time we tried to return that video and it got lost under the seat in your car when we stopped at the 'bend'? Ha! Ha! You made me laugh so many times, and you've been so sweet… I'll never forget you, Kevin Richardson. You're going to do wonderful things with your life. I love you, Kevy!


She signed her name. Maybe he should tell her that her remarks had given him some kind of hope? You're going to do wonderful things with your life… How many times had he read that and tried to believe in what she had seen? And then felt the pang of guilt for having just left early one morning without ever saying a word to her. 'Such a shit,' he chastised himself silently.

He didn't want to see anymore and closed the book, leaving it on his bed and got up to start the day. They had to be close to St. Louis by now…

~

"Okay, where is it?" Jana asked cautiously, looking around for someone to overhear.

Kevin looked up from the magazine he was reading, confused. "Where's what?"

"That thing your mother mentioned bringing?" Jana said obscurely.

"Oh," he chuckled with a knowing nod, "that thing… Yes. It's in the bus. Should I try to sneak it to you?"

"Can we sneak it out to the ritual burning ground, you think?" she asked.

He put the magazine down and stood up from the couch. "It's not that bad… I think. I went through some of it this morning. They'll be hard pressed to recognize you, though. I think you're safe at least."

"I don't know if I want to take that chance," she laughed.

"Let me go get it and you can be the judge."

"Here?" she asked.

"If we're quiet, they won't pay any attention," he said softly.

~

"Whacha got there Kev?" AJ asked, walking past Kevin as he sat on the couch. His hand grabbed the spine of the yearbook, and he sprinted across the room quickly before Kevin could grab him. "Ooohh!!!! The YEARBOOK!!!" he screamed loudly. "Kevin's HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK!"

"Give it here," Kevin said, reaching his hand out calmly. He knew they'd just tease him and it wouldn't be a big deal, but he just didn't want to deal with it today.

Jana was sitting next to him, smacking his arm playfully. "I told you! I told you! Oh no, they won't pay any attention!"

"Aje, come on," Kevin said, standing up and attempting to walk towards him. AJ let him gain half a room before sprinting away again, flipping through pages. "Don't embarrass the lady, AJ."

"It's not the lady I want to embarrass," AJ laughed. "Oh, dude! That hair!"

"AJ," Kevin tried, his voice forced with patience. "Don't do this."

"Nick! Nicky! Did you ever see this?" AJ sprinted across the room just as Kevin was about halfway again and handed the book to Nick just coming in.

Nick looked up, seeing Kevin start heading in his direction with that determined look in his eye, but AJ was laughing and Nick knew it was okay to play with this a bit. "What do we have here?" Nick said, flipping it around and seeing the title. He howled in laughter and sprinted after AJ…just as Kevin was about to grab it from him. "Ohhh, Kevin! Dude! Look at that hair, man!"

"You really dated him looking like that?" AJ asked, jumping into the spot on the couch next to Jana.

"Howie! Man!" Nick called, shoving the book into Howie's hands. "Check out the hair!" He sprinted off just in time for Kevin to miss grabbing his waist and tackling him.

"Howie, man, come on," Kevin said, unable to not laugh. "Be a friend."

"You want this?" Howie asked, lifting the book up slightly to hand it back to Kevin. "Psyche!" He clutched it to his stomach and darted off in the other direction; this time the entire room was laughing.

"Yes, I had a bad haircut!" Kevin announced loudly, raising his arms up to the sky and dropping his head back. "Can I please have the damn yearbook back now?"

Howie jogged over and tossed the book over to AJ, stretching out over the back of the couch. "Check out the hair!"

"Oh, come on!" Kevin groaned. "Isn't there enough out there you can dog me on?"

"Nah," Nick chuckled, looking over AJ's shoulder, "there's never enough damage!"

"I only got to see the bad hair," AJ said with a gleam in his eye. "What about the rest? Come on, I want to see."

"You may as well," Jana said. "They know you have it now. Thanks, Kev." She winked at him to show she was teasing.

"Yeah, you may as well," AJ said, flipping open the book eagerly.

"Fine, just…don't read anything, okay? Can I ask that much from you losers?"

"Read? Read?" AJ gasped. "We don't know how to fuckin' read!" he finished in a fake Spanish accent.

~

The boys were called off before they could finish, and somehow, Jana got possession of the book. She headed back to her tour bus and settled into a corner alone to flip through the pages. She couldn't remember the last time she had looked through this, and seeing how many pictures of her and Kevin together, she remembered why she'd buried it away. Instead of just closing the book, she thumbed through the pages, starting with the back and watched the pages flip through, except for one section that it seemed there was a break in the binding. She picked up the pages again and started flipping, this time stopping when she felt the break and opened to the page.

It was the cheerleading page, but she didn't see that until she removed the envelope stuck to the page. She saw herself, kneeling at the end of the row, one hand lifted in a fist, the other resting on her waist as she smiled brightly for the camera in her uniform. She didn't look that different…did she? She studied the picture and looked down to herself, seeing the curves rise around her. She had to admit, that was a huge difference, even if she wasn't some 'double D' cup, there was still a lot more curve to her now than in that photo.

She started to stick the envelope back into the spot she had found it to continue flipping through the pages, but stopped when she saw it had been addressed to her. A quick glance at the pages still folded inside showed a date from July 1989 and her heart seemed to stop in her throat. He wasn't lying. He had written un-sent letters…but if he hadn't sent them, did she have a right to read them now? 'Just don't read anything…' Did he know they were in there? Did he mean for her not to read anything too?

She closed the book and slipped it into one of the drawers assigned to her. Either way, she didn't have any time now. And more realistically, what good would a twelve-year-old letter do her? The kiss was nice. Seeing him again was wonderful. But right now, she had a job to do, and she certainly didn't need a twelve-year-old skeleton in the closet to dance with her. He was married. She was a professional dancer with a career - and life - of her own. None of this mattered. Their paths had crossed again and all she could do was make amends and let their paths separate again.

~

As Howie predicted, Kevin noticed everything had started going back to normal. Jana seemed to be more and more occupied with the other dancers and didn't seem to be mixing with him as much. Part of him wanted to feel relieved by that, but there was something nagging at him that he wasn't. He could catch her in passing here and there, and she just never seemed to look back. She didn't seem to dismiss him or be anything other than friendly, but somehow he was expecting something more; something in her eyes when she looked at him, or something that hinted at a past? Something. But as the last few days wore on, she was slipping away all over again, making friends with the dancers and the crew on her own and he had to keep reminding himself that it was for the best and the way any other dancer would fit in.

Today, however, they were all gathering on the stage to run through one of the routines and when they arrived, the dancers were already going through their paces in their warm-up outfits, twirling around and kicking in unison to the throbbing music coming from the wedges on the stage. He could spot her immediately, completely focused on the steps. It was really the first time he got to really watch her without having to pay attention to his own timing and movements and he was blown away.

He knew Fatima would only get the best for them. That was part of the reason they all loved her so much. She was passionate about what she presented to them and to the audience, and as always, she surrounded herself with perfection. He had more or less just taken it for granted, until he sat down and watched Jana go through the moves. She may have teased Nick when she was teaching that dance step, but she did give her all when it was required and only expected the same in return. He just didn't know how talented her 'all' really was until he could sit back and watch them kick-butt up on the stage like now. All of them moved in perfect unison.

"They make us look good, don't they?" AJ said flopping down next to Kevin in the audience.

"Hell, yeah," Kevin said with a hint of a smile.

"That little red-headed girl really made some progress, eh, Charlie Brown?" AJ asked, watching Kevin's reaction through the corner of his eye.

"Jana?" Kevin asked. "Yeah, she really fits in." He nodded slowly, continuing to keep his eyes on the stage, mentally going through where he'd be standing and where he'd fit in to all of this.

"You over your blast from the past yet?" AJ asked, nudging him.

"Huh?" Kevin broke his concentration and looked to AJ.

"Nothing," AJ smiled. "I just know I'd be pretty freaked if one of my ex's joined the tour. Especially one I was a complete dog to.

Kevin said casually, "It's fine."

"What'd Kristin say when you told her?"

He was about to say he hadn't quite mentioned it to her yet, but the music stopped and they were called up to the stage.

Just a run through… turned into a few run throughs, and each time he watched Jana and Nick get closer and closer, he felt his mood grow darker and darker. He was certain Nick was screwing up on purpose. He was certain he kept missing steps so they'd have to do it again and he'd have to watch Jana grind against him over and over and over again. In between the breaks, he could see the two of them giggling with each other. He'd watch Nick grab her waist and tickle her, or watch her tousle his hair and he'd laugh at whatever comment she made. If he was screwing things up with Rachel, he wasn't considering taking up with Jana… That would have to be out of the question. And wasn't he just on the phone with Rachel earlier? What was he doing anyway?

"Goddamn it, Nick, would you knock it off already?" he finally bellowed when they stopped again. "You act like you've never had a dance partner before!" He turned and went back to their starting position, glaring dangerously over to Nick, who avoided looking over to him and wiped the sweat off his forehead with his shoulder. The next time they managed to run through it perfectly, and Kevin headed backstage towards his bus immediately after.

Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 2
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Read the companion story:
Oreos for Breakfast (Nick Fanfic)
by The Pumpkin Coach & Paperbag Princess

c. 2001, 2002 by Coriander
Some content not suitable for children. You have been warned.