Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 3
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"They're known for dancing, swing music, and ballroom and other styles tossed in," Shannon was saying, describing the place they were headed to. "And some amazing bar - floor to ceiling. It sounded interesting."

"Don't you do enough dancing?" Kevin questioned playfully, bringing up the rear of the small group. He was met with a chorus of 'no!' and laughter.

"Not the same when it's the same routine, my one-in-five main men," one of them said, dropping back to walk with him. "This is," he opened his arms out, "expression. Freedom."

"Okay," Kevin nodded with amusement. "I was just asking."

Thankfully there had been a break in the rain for them to wander the streets a little bit. They arrived in Houston in torrential downpours, and it had continued to rain for the better part of the day. Kevin had slept through most of the morning and gone out with some crew to a late dinner. As he was coming back, some dancers and other crewmembers were headed out and another dancer, Shannon, pulled him along to go with them, teasing how she wanted to see some of his ballroom instructor peek out.

At least he wouldn't be stuck on his bus or wandering around the arena for hours on end trying to amuse himself, and dancing seemed like it could be fun, especially since Jana was in the group wearing a short flowing skirt, v-neck blouse and high heels. Once they'd arrived in Kansas City, he hadn't really seen her much. He'd had a few interviews during the day and went out with Howie, and he wasn't sure what she'd done. Then there was a twelve-hour ride to Houston, in that rain, but thankfully, he had slept most of the way.

The bar was busy when they walked in, but the hostess recognized Kevin and managed to get them a table large enough to fit the whole group, and Carlos made a point of finding the best vantage point to watch the room. Drinks and appetizers were ordered and swing music filled the room over the din of conversations. It wasn't long before the group scattered onto the dance floor and seemed to be taking over as other couples moved to watch them.

Shannon had grabbed Kevin and the two of them were barely paying attention to their moves, easily joking and laughing with the steps coming to them without thought. Just as easily, partners switched between songs or mid-dance. Others went back to the table to nibble and drink and somehow, Kevin ended up with Jana in his arms as the music changed into a Latin beat.

"You planned this," she laughed as they changed positions.

"I swear, there's someone out there that really likes me," Kevin laughed, leading her swiftly into the Lambada, hearing the catcalls and howls in teasing from their table, but they continued, keeping their eyes directly on each other. Even in the sway of the steps and thrusts of his hips in the dance, she could feel the intensity covering him, the visuals he must be having. She was having very similar ones and it'd bled into her own hips as they greeted his. The pressure of his hand supported her, and his body pressed against her as she ran her leg down the back of his calf. They finished to applause and whistles from their table.

"Woo!" Shannon called as they took their seat at the table. "I think you just put this whole room in heat!"

"That's what the dance is supposed to do, isn't it?" Kevin said easily, taking a sip of his drink.

"Woo-baby!" Nikki said, draping her arm across Kevin's shoulder. "Now I know why Kristin always wants to be alone with you," she teased. "Girls, we're missing out!" she said to the rest of them as Jana hoped her smile didn't fade with the twisting knots of her stomach as Kristin's name was mentioned. Jana knew why Kristin always wanted to be alone with him. Same reason she did, and his watching her over the rim of his glass wasn't helping.

"We're not doing the Lambada," he commented.

The table howled again, laughing. "So, what are you doing then, Kevin?" someone teased.

"PlayStation, of course," he answered with a straight face, blinking with indignation. "What do you think?" They all laughed again, and smaller conversations started up with more food and drinks arriving in between more dancing.

~

The group was slowly breaking up. Several people had already left to go back to the hotel, and now it was only a group of five. Kevin, Jana, Shannon, Rich and Carlos were left behind and ended up closing the bar. The rain had let up slightly to a drizzle. Taxis were called to bring them back, but Kevin held back, grabbing Jana and told the rest to go on. "I drank too much," he announced with an impish smile. "Just want to get some air." He waved to the others as they glanced out the back window to them and then slipped his arm around Jana's shoulder and started heading down the sidewalk slowly.

"Well, that wasn't too obvious," she said, pulling away from him.

"It's not like they don't already know," he said casually, sticking his hands into the pockets of his black trousers. "They're talking about us anyway. Just not in front of us."

"So you just felt the need to add more fuel to it?" she asked, shaking her head and taking a step ahead of him. "Like that dance wasn't enough?"

"Jana," he groaned, "we don't have to do a damn thing or we could strip naked and have sex during a press conference. Point is, whatever is being said is going to be said regardless of what you or I do and it's not going to be discussed openly. So who cares? I wanted to spend some time with you, and I have very little time to spend with anyone, especially alone. I'm not about to let some silly rumors stop me from living my life. I'd be living like Michael Jackson if I paid attention to what people say around me."

"Silly rumors?" She stopped and turned around, placing her hands on her hips to look at him. "Is that… Oh, never mind!" She waved her hands at him and headed back down the sidewalk.

"What do you want me to say, Jana?" he called after her and dropped his head realizing there were still a few people on the street. He quickened his step to catch up with her, taking hold of her elbow in an attempt to slow her down. "Do you want me to say it's not an affair? That I'm not really married? That I'm not falling in love with you again?"

"What?" She stopped, pulling her arm away from him. "Kevin…just stop, would you? You've had too much to drink and you're saying and doing things you don't really mean to do. Just…" She lifted her hands up and shook her head, trying not to let the tears show. "Let's go back. Please?"

"I don't get it!" he yelled, lifting his arms up. "What do you care if people talk?"

"Because people are going to talk to your wife!" she yelled back. "And we don't need to be standing on some street corner in the middle of Houston letting them know about it," she added, trying to lower her voice.

"I'm having an affair!" Kevin bellowed down the sidewalk, opening his arms out wide and turning in a circle. "Call BOP! Call Teen Beat! Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

"Would you shut up!" she screamed, reaching over to slam the back of her hand into his stomach.

"See? Look at how the world just came crashing down," he said, opening his palms to the sounds of the street; people talking, cars passing and water dripping down the gutters. "What do you want me to say, Jana?" he said, stepping closer to her. "We are having an affair. I am married…I am falling in love with you again, and the dancers and crew and, for that matter, the fellas be damned if they're going to whisper behind my back about it."

"What about my back, Kevin?" she asked, tilting her head and putting her hands back on her hips. "It's fine for you. You're one of the Golden Ones. You're one of the boys that has the popularity and the fame that you can afford to not pay attention to the gossip and the rumors. But you know what? When this tour is over…you're going to go back and do whatever it is that you do. I'm going to have to go back and try to get another job, and you know what they're going to know before they even see me? That I was fucking a Backstreet Boy. That's my reputation. The reputation that everyone will know before I walk in the room and if you think that means nothing and talent has anything to do with it, take a break and go back out into the real world for an hour or two!"

"Jana…" he started.

"And the worst part about it is," she interrupted, pointing a finger at him, "it's not even going to be gossip! It's true! I'm the other woman! I'm the kind of woman I hate. The kind of woman I scorn for not being able to find someone of their own that they have to take someone else's! You'll go back to your perfect, blonde, perky little wife and grovel for forgiveness and it'll be fine for you! But I'm going to be left being in love with you again, Kevin! You'll disappear and I'll be stuck and I don't like feeling like this! I don't like being the other woman! I don't like that all anyone thinks is that this is about sex because that's all we're doing! And I don't want anything more because I'm petrified of falling head over heels for you to be left again. I don't want to do that again. I'm not sixteen years old anymore, and I'm not going to have the rest of my life to find Mr. Right. I haven't found him and I've been looking for twelve years! I don't believe it anymore, and I don't want my heart to start telling me it's you again."

The rain was starting to come down more heavily, but she stood in front of him helpless. He remained standing in front of her, looking to her with his hands to his side and a hurt expression, illuminated by the light from the street. A few people passed, looking a few times with recognition, but neither Kevin nor Jana returned the look. Jana finally shook her head and turned to look down the street, hailing a cab wordlessly. They both climbed in, each sitting near a door to look out the window without saying anything more.

~

She hurried into the hotel, thankful for the rain so she could keep her head lowered and avoid seeing the fans. The only reason to be thankful for them at the moment was that they would distract Kevin long enough for her to get some distance between them. Once she was in the lobby, she headed towards the elevators. Nick had his cell phone to his ear as he was heading out of the lobby to an echo of laughs, but his smile froze when he saw her. Her clothes were wet, her hair was dripping and he knew it wasn't rain on her cheeks when she looked up to him.

He continued with his conversation on the phone but put his arm around her shoulders and led her into the elevator. She followed, thinking Kevin wouldn't come after her if she was with anyone, especially Nick. As the elevator doors closed, she could see Kevin walk into the hotel lobby with his hands in his pockets, but a dead, angry expression crossed his face when he saw her.

Nick smiled lightly to her as he put the key into the elevator. "Jana's here. Just came in. It must really be raining because she's dripping all over," he attempted at a tease. She could barely manage a smile and attempted to hide by lowering her head. "Yeah, really bad rain here."

The elevator doors opened and Nick tugged on Jana's sleeve to follow. "Yeah, that might be good," he said into the phone glancing to Jana. "Okay…bye. I love you."

He switched the phone off and pushed open his door, stepping in first to move a few piles of stuff from the couch and away from the floor to dump near his suitcase. "It's a bit messy," he apologized, but all she could do was attempt at another smile and nod. He walked past her and came back with a towel, handing it to her. "Really raining out there, huh?" She nodded again, trying very hard not to cry and lowered her head again in a guise of drying her hair as she sat on the arm of the couch. He handed Jana the controls for some PlayStation game. She looked down to it, not even remotely in the mood to play some high-tech video game. "I usually pretend one of them is someone I hate," he continued, watching her knowingly. "Always makes me feel better to watch their blood and guts spill around their feet."

"Not very good at video games," she said with a smile and a shrug.

"Oh, okay," he said, sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

"You've managed to make this room a mess in such a short time?" she asked, attempting to tease. "Got anything left on your bus, Nick?" He shrugged and looked around. "I don't think Kevin's bus has this much stuff in it to bring up to the rooms."

"He's better at putting stuff away, I guess," he said.

"Mmm," she mumbled, biting her lips together.

"So, outside of being some long lost girl of Kevin's," Nick said, watching panic behind Jana's eyes, "what else have you done? I mean, how'd you get into dancing?"

She took a deep breath and looked up at Nick. His hair was messy and he was wearing a pair of glasses she had never seen him wear before. "I started dancing when I was eight," she said. "My mom tells me that I was dancing in my playpen, though. I guess it's just what I've always done. I studied forever and auditioned for the American School of Ballet in New York after graduating High School and got in, so…I guess I was good."

"You're great!" he exclaimed. "I've watched you out there." Her smile alone seemed to say thank you. "So, is that where you live? New York? That's where Rachel's from."

"I know," she said, laying the towel on her lap. "I used to go see Sudden Silence when they played the Artful Dodger in Huntington. That's where I live. Well, Huntington Station really, on Long Island."

"Is that near…oh, dang…um…Cutch…um…" His face scrunched trying to remember the name of Rachel's town.

"Cutoghue," she finished for him. "No, not really. I'm closer towards the city."

"The city?"

"New York," she said. "There's a direct rail line that goes into Penn Station not far from where I live, so it's easy if I have auditions or a job."

"So…I thought if you studied ballet you were supposed to be in some kind of ballet troupe or something. Like the New York Ballet?"

"Well, that was the plan," she said.

"So, what happened?" he asked curiously. "I mean, I see you dance. You're great."

She smiled appreciatively and relaxed her shoulders a bit. "Thanks." She slid down to the cushions and inhaled. "What happened? Well, a few things…hormones and starch?"

"Hormones and starch?"

"Late bloomer, apparently." She sighed. "About a year in, suddenly, my body decided to get curves. I think it's because I was living on starch, basically. I don't know. I just started developing and how many prima ballerinas have you seen with any real figure? There's a reason."

"No…really?"

"Really," she said with a nod. "Throws off your balance, believe it or not. I went on every diet known to man but…" She shrugged again. "Not much I could do. I mean, everything changed. That's why Kevin and Brian didn't recognize me."

"I just thought it had been a few years," he said.

"Well, there's that, but," she lifted a shoulder, "everything went wonky on me and changed. I got a shape. The weight changed my face."

"You make it sound like you gained a hundred pounds," he said in disbelief.

"May as well have. Didn't you see the yearbook?"

"Not really," he said. "We were just trying to rag on Kevin."

"Remind me to show you a picture. You'll see what I mean. I suddenly had a body that had a lot of weight in the wrong places and the way I was used to carrying myself was suddenly not working. I mean, people joke about teenagers having hormones, but it's not a joke to me. I was slammed by them. They ruined all my plans."

"But you can still dance," he said. "You dance great out there."

"I don't think I was good enough to get into the New York Ballet, honestly. I had more of a freestyle than classical form, so I think it was okay in the end. I just wanted to get out there and start dancing instead of being told how and that I was gaining too much weight. So, I quit and started auditioning and did a few things here and there. The one job that was steady enough was working for a club in New York. That's where I met Glenn…Fatima's friend? He introduced me to her and she's helped me improve my steps a lot and we've done a few things together."

"I love Fatima." Nick grinned broadly. "She always knows just what we need to do for a song."

"She's wonderful," Jana agreed. "I love her to death."

Music suddenly blared from the hallway and Nick and Jana looked towards the door. "Howie's back," he said. Seconds later, they heard AJ run down the hall, screeching.

"So is AJ," she said with a calm smile.

"Oh, check it out!" Nick said, jumping down off the desk. "Howie's got the coolest view from his room."

Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 3
Page 9 | Page 10 | Page 11 | Page 12

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Read the companion story:
Oreos for Breakfast (Nick Fanfic)
by The Pumpkin Coach & Paperbag Princess

c. 2001, 2002 by Coriander
Some content not suitable for children. You have been warned.