Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 5
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"Kevin…" Brian followed behind him, his own annoyance beginning to crack through the smile he was forcing on for everyone standing backstage and applauding. Kevin nodded to a few people and headed directly back into the changing rooms without stopping. Brian came in behind him, but he found Kevin turned already facing him as soon as he did.

"What the hell was that?" Kevin asked pointing to the stage beyond the maze of walls behind them.

"I had an off night," Brian answered him, his eyes widened in defense. "It happens, Kevin."

Kevin shook his head, staring at Brian with annoyance clinging to him like the sweat from his performance. "You were consistently off. The whole show! How many times have we done those Goddamn steps, Brian? You should be doing them in your sleep! How could you be off?"

"It happened, okay?" Brian answered.

"No, Brian, not okay!" Kevin told him, his hands placed firmly on his hips. "You don't think that every paper tomorrow is going to print that it's the end of Backstreet Boys? They're looking for every excuse they can to declare us over. Stop helping them!" He pushed past Brian and headed back out into the hallway, this time going over to find Jana and Leslie, trying to shake off the anger.

"There's the green-eyed Adonis now!" Leslie said cheerfully as he came over. She opened her arms out, and he paused, motioning to his wet clothing and hair. "Like I care? I'll wipe it off me and sell it in a bottle," she laughed, throwing her arms around him.

"You like it?" he asked.

Her eyes sparkled and she nodded, looking over to Jana quickly. "Amazing," she gushed. "I mean…I had no idea what to expect. Jana had said there was some serious dancing and all, but I'm…I'm just floored that you do that and SING at the same time and sound perfect!" He smiled and looked to her calmly, feeling a bit of a relief listening to an outsider talk. Maybe she didn't catch how many times Brian had missed a step. "It was just…wonderful."

Jana placed her hand on Kevin's arm, sensing the tension around him. "Kevin's a bit of a perfectionist," she said. "He sees all sorts of things no one else ever would."

"It's the vantage point of where I'm standing," he said, glancing to Leslie. "But I'm glad you enjoyed it."

~

Kevin was drawn away, and Jana shook her head, looking over to Leslie. Her friend was beaming in the adrenaline left behind from the show and she leaned closer to Jana to whisper. "I don't know how you do it because every time I looked at him, my head exploded thinking that's the guy who was standing in our kitchen in his underwear!"

They both burst into giggles as Jana playfully slapped Leslie's shoulder. "You're awful!"

"I don't know what's so awful about it," Leslie answered, her eyes sparkling with the laughter, "to me it was a sight to truly behold. I can't thank you enough for sharing just that experience with me!"

"Leslie!" Jana squealed.

"What?" she teased, "if you brought home a Michelangelo, I'd appreciate that too!"

"What are you girls giggling about?" Kevin said coming back over and eyeing them in amusement. He loved to see that look on Jana's face. Nothing seemed to be on her mind outside of the laugh she held. Her cheeks glowed with the adrenaline still pumping through her body and he recognized the look too well after having spent the weekend with her. She had the exact opposite reaction to him after sex - he wanted to sleep. She said she wanted to run a marathon.

"Nothing we can share with you," Leslie teased, looking over to Jana in another giggle. "But trust me, it's very good. A compliment even."

He eyed them for a moment longer, shaking his head slowly. "If you say so," he answered. "I just wanted to stop by and say thank you for coming. We have to get out of here before mass hysteria ensues." He leaned over, placing his hand on Leslie's shoulder and kissed her cheek. "Hope to see you again soon."

"Thank you so much, Kevin," Leslie said leaning over to hug him again. "I had such a wonderful time, and really, the show blew me away."

"Glad to hear it," he replied.

"Well, if they're going, I need to book too," Jana said, reaching out to embrace Leslie in a tight squeeze. "I will call you," she said. "Feed my cat."

"He's well fed!" Leslie said. "Take care of yourself."

"Promise," Jana answered. "You too."

"Promise." Leslie pulled away and smiled broadly. "You danced your butt off out there, Jana," she said warmly. "I told you you'd end up doing exactly what I had dreamed of doing. You're officially a dancer, Jan." She could feel the tears swell in her eyes as Jana wiped her cheeks with her fingers. "Go or they'll leave you behind." She pushed Jana's shoulder, smiling at her. "I'll call you."

~

"So, what were you two giggling over?" Kevin asked later in the hotel bar.

"Nothing," Jana answered with a knowing smile, sipping from her glass of juice. "Roommate stuff. Long history. Doesn't take much to get Leslie and me in a fit of giggles."

"What about the tears?" he asked. "I saw you both get all teary."

Jana smiled more broadly and rested an elbow on the bar, looking out over the entourage scattered about having their dinner and chatting. "She knows how hard I've worked to do something like this," she started. "And she had the same dream at one time and just basically said that it came true."

"What came true?"

"I'm a dancer," she answered proudly. "I'm officially and professionally a dancer. Not just a spot job here and there or an extra in a movie. I'm performing in front of thousands of people and it's just…a good feeling. She knows how hard I've worked to get here and how hard it is to get here, and was just happy for me. It meant a lot to me."

"So, what were you giggling about?" he tried again.

"You're not going to find out," she chuckled, patting his cheek playfully and shaking her head.

He leaned over closer to whisper in her ear. "Are you coming up with me?"

"Is that smart?" She pulled back to look at him, looking around the bar again, wondering if anyone had been watching them. She had tried to keep her distance a friendly one, doing her best not to talk too much about private things that happened between them. It wasn't easy pretending they weren't intimate when she felt the urges to throw her arms around him and kiss him until he couldn't breathe.

"Sure, why not?" She shrugged and turned slightly, sipping her juice again.

He stepped closer, facing her and speaking softly. "We are allowed to be friends, Jana."

"I know," she said with a nod. "I just wasn't sure how much speculation you wanted."

"It's not like the fellas don't know," he said. "We just don't need to make it public. The crew isn't going to talk."

"The hell they're not," she burst out in a laugh, looking at him in disbelief.

"Not to anyone outside," he clarified. "That's all we really need to worry about."

"Did you make up with Brian yet?" she asked, changing the subject.

This time Kevin pulled away and looked around the bar at the tables, watching Brian and Nick laugh and throw French fries at each other. "No," he answered shortly. "Besides, how do you know I need to apologize?"

"I saw the look on your faces when you came off stage and when you came out of the dressing room," she answered. "People have off nights, Kevin."

Kevin shook his head, watching Brian. "No. Not at this stage of the game they don't."

"Kevin, please," she scolded lightly, watching him with surprise. "He's human. You've been working hard and just got off a break. He'll be fine tomorrow."

"We're off again tomorrow," he corrected, turning his eyes on her. "And then we have to go on MTV, and we can't fuck it up. We have a point to make."

"You've already made your point," she told him. "AJ's back and you're touring and there's no other point to make. You made it back, Kevin." She turned to face him, resting a hand on his arm. "Relax, you made it back."

He just shook his head and looked over the bar, surveying everyone sitting around and talking, as if trying to measure up her words to what he was seeing. "We have to be 110% to be back," he said quietly. "And we've only touched it a few times since. We have to be 110%."

She sighed, dropping her head slightly to look at him. "Kevin, in case you weren't aware of it, your idea of 100% far exceeds everyone else's. You're not their father. Let them have an off night. In case you couldn't tell, Leslie didn't notice what you're upset about."

"You want to bet that the review…"

"And how many times has the press praised Backstreet for anything you've accomplished?" she interjected gently.

He looked down to her trying to keep his aggravation distant. She didn't look away, keeping her brown eyes directly on his defiantly. "What were you two giggling at?" he asked.

"I'm still not going to tell you," she answered, keeping her expression.

"I'll get it out of you," he said, looking back around the room, suppressing a smile.

"I doubt you will," she replied, finishing her drink, turning her eyes to him playfully. "Let it suffice that you've made quite an impression on Leslie. Now, go apologize to your cousin for being a jerk."

"No," he said, lifting his eyebrows up and shaking his head.

She playfully punched his shoulder repeatedly. "Stop being so damn meticulous!"

"Good luck," Nick said walking past, leaning in between them with a laugh.

"Nick!" Jana grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. "How do you get Kevin to chill out?"

"You don't," he said, looking over to him with a grin. "Nah, dawg," he laughed, resting a hand on Kevin's shoulder, "you're all right."

"He's grumpy," she said.

"He's showing his jitters, thas'all," Nick said to her, resting his arm around her shoulder casually. "He gets like this when we start back up, doncha Kev?"

"If you say so," Kevin replied dryly with a slight lift of his shoulder.

"Yeah, you do," Nick said with a smile, winking to Jana. "He'll chill out. We usually just let him do his thing and he comes around."

"Well then, I guess I'll let you do your thing," she said to Kevin with a wink and headed over to sit at the table with the rest.

He stayed near the bar, catching the sports update and talking about some of the college teams with one of the crew. They both watched avidly as the screen showed a fumble, and they "armchair quarterbacked" for quite awhile, reliving some high school memories. He could hear the table behind him laugh several times, hearing AJ and Nick talk over each other and laugh, then hearing Brian crack another joke. Nick was right, he needed to do his thing and chill out, and it was starting to happen.

After a few more minutes, Kevin headed over to the table, standing behind Brian's chair and quietly put his hand on Brian's shoulder, listening to what was being said. Brian glanced back at him with a grin and patted one of Kevin's hands easily. Apology accepted.

~

Jana could feel Kevin's body relax against her, and she knew he was falling asleep. She had gone back to the room with him, but they stayed up watching TV a little longer, lying on the couch together without really speaking. She was beginning to get tired now and attempted to slip out of his embrace, but his arms tightened and his eyes opened as soon as she moved.

"It's late, Kev," she said quietly, slipping from him. "Go get some sleep."

"Stay," he said, his eyes barely able to open.

"You've got an early call," she said, sitting in front of him and brushing the ends of his cornrows from his neck. "Go get some sleep."

He sat up, but instead of getting up, he wrapped his arms around her waist and sank back into the couch with a sigh. "Stay."

Just as she was about to protest, the phone rang. Both of them jumped, and instinctively, Kevin picked it up. "Hello…Yeah, hi…" She knew who it was and moved away from him, feeling awkward. He furrowed his eyebrows at her, reaching his hand out to her, but she sat in one of the chairs and leaned over to pull her sneakers on. He snapped, furrowing his eyebrows again and mouthed something to her, but she shook her head and motioned that she was going to sleep. "I was sleeping, actually. We've got a lot to do in a few hours. I'll call you later…yeah, bye." He hung up the phone and sat up as she stood up. "What's that about?" he asked.

"Nothing," she answered with a shrug. "It's late and as you said, you've got a lot to do in a few hours. You need to get some sleep, baby."

"You're weird," he said plainly. "You just started acting real weird."

"I know you're married, Kevin," she said, dropping her hands to the back of the chair, "but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty when she calls and I'm here."

"That's what she's hoping for, Jana," he said, sliding down to slouch into the couch. "Why do you think she just called? She was trying to catch us in the middle of something. But you know, we weren't in the middle of anything."

"It's awkward. I can't help that it makes me feel guilty."

"Me too, Jana," he said, leaning forward to rest his arms on his thighs, "but if we want this to work, we're gonna have to make a decision."

"What decision is that?"

"That we let this happen and don't think about everyone else around us."

She tilted her head slightly and blinked at him. "That's a little difficult to do, don't you think? I mean, it's fine up here, on this floor. But outside of this room, Kevin? Outside of the sixteenth floor? It's all about what everyone else thinks around us."

"But we know, Jana," he said. "That's what counts. That's the important thing."

"Get some sleep," she said, coming around to kiss him quickly. "Have a good day tomorrow."

"Jana, we're gonna have to talk about this at some point."

"Not right now," she answered, brushing her fingers down his cheek. "For someone in your business, you have really lousy timing. Sleep. We'll talk some other time."

"I'll try to see you tomorrow."

"Try," she said with a gentle smile. "Don't worry if you can't. I understand."

Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 5
Page 17 | Page 18 | Page 19 | Page 20

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Read the companion story:
Oreos for Breakfast (Nick Fanfic)
by The Pumpkin Coach & Paperbag Princess

c. 2001, 2002 by Coriander
Some content not suitable for children. You have been warned.