Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 6
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There was an odd sense of tension in the air. The fans tried to hold back their enthusiasm in light of everything that happened…by now they had heard one of the band's crew might have been on one of the planes. They tried to be respectful, and both Brian and Kevin greeted a few that were waiting, but didn't spend much time. Brian wanted to get Leighanne inside and Kevin needed to find Jana. Her panicked voice was still in the back of his head and it seemed that panic just wouldn't leave. Now he had to be concerned with one of the tour family members and his heart sank when he thought of Dan's wife. Dan was never going to see his child. He could just sink and cry with the thought.

Kristin had called from the airport to let him know she was all right and had gotten a hotel room for the night until things calmed down. He didn't need to be worried about her, at least. His family was fine. He had checked in with everyone and even got to speak to Will briefly and hear him babble for a minute or two. Elmo was very important in his little nephew's life - at least his world was still safe and soft.

He wandered into the hotel bar, finding most of their entourage gathered around watching the news. New images were appearing, different angles of the destruction. He walked in just in time to watch the video of the plane being swallowed by the second tower, and he could not swallow the lump in his throat.

"Kevin!" Shannon saw him and made her way over, throwing her arms around him. He bent over slightly, holding his flight case from swinging forward and hugged her best he could with one hand. "Have you heard?"

"Yeah," he answered, his eyes glued to the images still. "Any more news?"

"No," she said, turning to watch as well, a faltering silence falling between them. "Jana's up in our room." She pulled her keycard from her pocket and handed it to him. "Here's her key. We're in 904."

"She okay?" he asked, slipping the key into his pocket.

"She's laying down," Shannon said. "She's a little freaked out."

"Aren't we all?" he said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "I'll go check up on her."

~

He slid the keycard through and opened the door, setting his flight case down just inside the door, out of the way and made his way over to the bed. She was facing the window, sleeping on her side and holding a pillow in her arms. He brushed her hair back from her eyes and ran his hand over her shoulder, whispering her name quietly.

Her eyes fluttered open and she gasped, sitting up before realizing who he was. "Oh, Kevin!" she sighed and threw her arms around his shoulders, clinging to him. He held her as tight as he could, smoothing and kissing her hair gently. She pulled back, looking to him with wide eyes. "Is Dan okay? Did you hear anything?"

"We haven't heard anything yet, no," he answered, kissing her quickly. "How're you doing? Have you talked to Leslie yet?"

"No, not yet," she said, resting back against his shoulder and sighing heavily. "They've closed the City. It's going to take her forever to get home, I think." He dropped his head down close to her and rubbed her back gently, closing his eyes and feeling a sense of calmness in being able to hold her. "I can't believe this happened," she whispered. "I just can't believe this really happened."

"No one can," he replied.

"Did you just get in?" she asked, pulling back again.

He nodded. "Yeah. Haven't even got up to my room yet," he answered. "Grab some stuff and come up. I don't want you to be alone."

"Is that…" she hesitated, " I mean, not knowing about Daniel…should I intrude like that?"

He scoffed and kissed her forehead. "You're not intruding on anything. Brian and Leighanne would love to see you anyway. Just grab what you need and come with me."

~

They stepped off the elevator, Kevin holding Jana's hand with both their bags over his shoulder. She had never seen so many people in the hallway before, calling information back and forth, some on cell phones. All the bodyguards were there, checking things out, checking up. It was almost as chaotic as right before the show, but the adrenaline was boosted by a completely different force and the energy wasn't fueled by excitement. Brian saw Jana first and made his way over to her. Somehow, Kevin released her hand and she found herself enveloped by Brian.

"Hey, you," he said gently. "How're you doin'?"

"I'm better," she answered hugging him back warmly. "How're you holding up?"

"My wife is safe," he said, pulling back from her and kissing her cheek. "I'll get through whatever happens as long as she's safe."

"Jana?" Leighanne came up behind them and she wrapped her arms around her. "We've been praying for your friend."

"I am so glad you're here," Jana said with a squeeze. "I've been doing some of my own praying as well. You're okay?"

"I'm a bit freaked," Leighanne admitted, reaching back to hold Brian's hand. "But I'm a lot better off than too many people."

"Jana!" Kevin called, sticking his head up over the people in the hallway. "We're here."

"Go," Brian said with a tilt of his head and wink. "He needs you. He won't say it," he grinned, "but he does."

"Thank you," she said, hugging them both quickly before making her way through the crowd.

She made her way into the room, finding Kevin turning the TV on. Howie followed behind her, hugging them both briefly. AJ was right behind him. He held Jana for a long moment and kissed her cheek and then went to Kevin, holding onto him for a long while, whispering to him quietly. Sarah stood by Jana, watching AJ with a small smile and looked over to Jana. "He's been waiting all day to tell him he loved him," she said. "He needed to tell them all."

"There's a lot of that going on," Jana said, finding it hard to keep tears from her eyes watching them.

"Have you spoken to your friend yet?"

She shook her head. "No, but she got out."

"She worked in the towers?"

"South one," Jana said quietly. "28th floor. She managed to get a hold of her mom, and her mom called me. I'm sure it's going to be awhile before she's able to get home."

"Kevin?" Nick came into the room, heading directly over to him and throwing his arms around him. "Dude…"

"Rachel's all right?" Kevin asked, pulling from him and tousling his hair warmly.

"Yeah, freaked out, but she's safe," Nick said, glancing around the room. "Where's Jana?"

"Right there," Kevin said with a nod of his chin.

"Oh…Jana!" He made his way over to her and hugged her warmly. "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered with a smile and a nodding. "You? Rachel?"

"All good," he answered, keeping his arm around her shoulders, his eyes turning to the TV. "Goddamn," he muttered with a shake of his head as they replayed the plane flying into the second tower again.

Kevin came over and took Jana's hand, bringing her to rest her back against him so he could wrap his arms around her shoulders. He needed to feel her next to him, know for certain she was right there. "Have you eaten anything? You hungry?" he asked, lowering his head to her shoulder.

"Not even remotely hungry," she answered, resting her weight against him.

"But have you eaten?" he asked.

"I'm not hungry," she said.

"It's been a long day for you," he said, sliding his hand into hers and leading her over to the fruit basket across the room. He pulled a section of grapes from the basket and plucked one, holding it in front of her mouth. "Open," he said with a smile. She smiled with a sigh but opened her mouth so he could feed her. He leaned and kissed her quickly, dropping another into her mouth when she finished.

He sat on the chair near the table and pulled her onto his lap, cuddling close with her and finishing the grapes between quick kisses and rubbing her back. Everyone was milling around, in and out of the rooms again, stopping by and checking up on each other, concern all over their expressions as they passed the latest information back and forth. Brian and Leighanne settled on the couch and Howie joined them a bit later, filling them in on smaller details and the schedules.

Not soon after, the tour manager came down the hallway and gathered everyone around to let them know it had been confirmed. Daniel Lee had been one of the passengers on one of the flights into the Towers and his wife had given birth to a baby girl. The hallway was silent except for sounds of quiet crying and everyone silently hugged each other before going back to their rooms.

As Kevin closed the door, Jana went over to him, holding him tightly. He hadn't actually cried, but there were tears in his eyes and an overwhelming pressure of sadness sat in his chest for Dan's family, especially his baby who would never know anything but other people's memories of her father. Every night, Daniel had made sure the stage and the special effects were beyond safe for them to do what they did. He'd taken pride in his work and had spent the last few weeks giving updates on his wife's progress and talking about the new baby.

"I'm so sorry, Kevin," Jana said, still holding on to him.

"So am I," he said quietly, hearing the strain in his voice. It was enough to release the first few tears and he held onto her more tightly, taking the comfort she offered. "That poor little thing," he sighed heavily.

They moved further into the suite room and he turned off the TV as they were showing the plane again hitting the tower, this time, realizing he knew one of the passengers, feeling a whole new terror in the image. Did they know? Were they panicking? Please, God, let them have died immediately, painlessly. He bundled Jana in his arms, not wanting to let go of her. Everything was conflicted; the sense of relief that Leighanne was safe, Leslie was safe, but the sorrow for Daniel and the family he left behind hung heavy in his heart, reminding him of his own losses. He at least had nineteen years with his father. He was able to know him as a father and a person, have a relationship and learn from him. Daniel's baby wouldn't have anything from someone just as special to her, maybe his features, or some gestures, but no memories of her own. How many other children were going to suffer the same loss and be robbed of the same blessings he had? Lose both parents? It all seemed overwhelming and beyond senseless, incomprehensible in spite of having watched it happen. When they went to bed, he slid himself close to Jana, making sure she never left his side. She never even tried.

~

Jana answered the cell phone on one ring and almost cried with relief when she saw the ID. "Oh my God! Leslie! How are you?"

"I'm fine," Leslie said tiredly. "I'm safe and I'm home. I knew you'd be panicking."

"Beyond panicking. I've never been so scared in my life. What happened? Where were you?" Kevin came out of the bedroom and ran his hand along the back of her head with a smile as he headed over to order breakfast.

"I never got out of the subway. People were filing in, saying a plane crashed into the first tower and I just got off and headed back to Penn Station. By the time we got there, everything was closed down. I spent the night there and got the first train home."

"Do you know about any of your co-workers? Is everyone safe?"

Leslie's voice softened. "We don't know. There are a lot of people still missing…something like 150. I can't…" He voice broke off and she could hear her choke back a cry.

"Do you want me to come home? Do you need me to do anything?"

"You can't come home," Leslie said. "You need to earn the rent now because my company is a pile of rubble at the moment. I don't know what's going to happen."

"Oh, God, Les…" Jana sighed sadly. "Honestly, do you need me to come home?"

"No," Leslie answered quietly. "I'm alive, Jan. Everything compared to what could have happened? I'm alive and that's all that's important. I'm going to be fine."

"Do you need anything? Anything at all?"

"Actually, right now, I need some sleep," she sighed. "And when I get up, I'm going to need some serious alcohol and some more sleep and then I'll start to think about what I need."

"I wish I could be there for you."

"You are here for me," she said. "I'm talking to you right now, Sweetie. I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. A little shell shocked, but I'm alive. I'm going to hang on to that for bit."

"Good plan," she said gently. "I was so scared when I couldn't get you."

"The news said Backstreet lost a crew member?"

"Yeah," Jana answered, feeling tears in her eyes. "He was on one of the planes going home for his daughter's birth. It's a little…hard around here right now."

"How's Kevin?"

"He's right here," she said, leaning back against him and putting her hand on his knee. "He's holding up."

"Tell her I'm glad she's okay," he said.

"He says he's glad you're okay."

"Tell him I'm sorry about his loss," Leslie said.

"I will."

"I just wanted to check in, Sweetie. I need to take a long hot shower and just go to sleep for a few days."

"That's fine. Call me whenever, okay? If you want to talk or something? Anytime, all right? My cell is always on me. I love you, Les."

"Love you too, Jana. Give Kevin a hug and tell him to take care of you."

"He has been," Jana assured her. "Sleep. Talk to you later."

Kevin wrapped his arms around her and kissed her shoulder. "Feel better?"

"Much," she sighed, finally relaxing a bit. "She says she's sorry about Dan and to give you a hug."

"She's all right?"

"As good as can be expected I guess. I don't think it's sunk in completely. She said there's about 150 people still missing from her company and her offices are a pile of rubble."

"Aw, man," he sighed sadly. "What's she going to do?"

"Sleep, get drunk and I'm paying the rent for awhile, I think," she answered, resting her head back. "I just wish I could be with her…or do something."    

"Think she'd want to meet us in Buffalo? Take a few days and get away for a bit? I'm sure the trains and such will be running again by then."

"I can ask, but I don't know if she'll be working or if there's memorial services or something," she said, realizing the impact this would have on Leslie's life; how many people Leslie might have lost.

"Well, if not, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem for you to go visit her," he assured her, rubbing her shoulder.

"I'll see what she says. How are you holding up today? What'd they say in the group meeting this morning?" He had gotten up earlier to be in a conference call with the promoters and the band and returned just before Leslie had called.

"$.50 of every dollar taken in tonight will go to the Red Cross and we'll set up something for Dan's family and we'll see where it goes from there." He dropped his head back and sighed. "I'll tell ya, the last thing I want to do right now is go sing and dance."

"I know," she agreed. "It's not going to be easy." She turned, draping her legs over his lap and resting her head in her hand. "You've had a really crappy week, haven't you?" She reached out to smooth a strand of hair that escaped from his ponytail.

"It's been a pretty crappy summer, really," he said with a slow nod. "And it just seems to get better and better, doesn't it?" He rolled his eyes and gave her a sideways look. "And you know, it started out pretty good."

"It's not over yet," she said optimistically.

"Oh, don't even," he chuckled. "I'm gonna join AJ's group…one day at a time, baby. I don't want to think that far ahead."

She brushed his hair back again with a gentle smile. "That's not a bad thing," she agreed with a tilt of her head. "Do you even want to tell me what happened with Kristin?" He sunk down, audibly groaning and shook his head against the back of the couch. "You don't have to," she laughed. "I was just asking."

He turned his head to look at her. "No, I know," he said, lacing his fingers in hers. "I thought it was going to be ugly, but by the time we left, I'm not so sure. She might be starting to understand? I don't know. It got pretty intense when I came down to you." He bounced her hand on her knee gently. "But I think, aw, I dunno. It might end okay after all. I think she's starting to see where I'm coming from. It's…hard."

"I'm sure it is," she said, looking to their hands. "You've been with her for a long time. I can understand that."

"But I meant what I said yesterday," he said, tugging her hand gently so she would look at him. "I do love you."

She smiled. She looked up to him guiltily, biting her bottom lip. "I wasn't going to hold you to it"

"I meant it," he said seriously, pulling her closer for a kiss.

"So did I," she answered quietly, looking down for a moment. "Probably since I saw you again, but it's taken some time to catch up with me."

"Oh, I've known it," he admitted. "Just too stupid to say it any sooner. But I'm not wasting any more chances with you, Jana. I'm going to make this work out this time."

"I have no say?" she asked.

"Don't go giving me that," he shook his head as he chastised her. "You admitted it. You love me too."

She sighed in mock exasperation and rolled her eyes. "But Kevy, everyone loves at least one Backstreet Boy! Nick's too far-gone on Rachel, and Sarah's got AJ. Brian's married and there's simply too much competition for Sweet Howie D."

"So I got you by default?" he drawled, lifting his eyebrows.

"You're my consolation prize," she laughed, pinching his cheek. "And you have the best ass known to man. Leslie said so. I like the way it moves in front of me on stage," she snickered. "Total turn on. You're not the little Kevin Richardson playing Conrad Birdie, that much I can tell you."

"Ah, but you were swooning for me then," he pointed out, tapping a finger on her chin.

"That's only because you were popular," she answered. "Come to think of it, you're popular now too. Think I can hang with the cool kids at lunch?"

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "Because I'm not going to let you out of your locker by then."

"You have a schedule to keep," she giggled, rubbing her nose with his and smiling.

"Well," he paused, looking down to his watch, "I suppose I'll settle for consolation prize. As long as I get to take you to the prom."

"It's a deal," she nodded.

"You're a freak," he laughed.

"I love you," she said, her tone turning serious. "Just because."

"Just because," he replied, kissing her again. "Dinner tonight after the show?"

"We always have dinner after the show," she said.

He slanted his eyes at her and lifted an eyebrow. "I don't remember you being this difficult before."

"Oh, but Kevy, you've not even begun to see difficult," she giggled.

"I have enough difficult, thanks."

"But being easy isn't a challenge," she contradicted.

"It's already challenge enough just as it is," he scolded. "Dinner?"

"Sure," she agreed with a smile. "I'll meet you up here?"

Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 6
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Read the companion story:
Oreos for Breakfast (Nick Fanfic)
by The Pumpkin Coach & Paperbag Princess

c. 2001, 2002 by Coriander
Some content not suitable for children. You have been warned.