Birds In Your Garden

It's the eyes, isn't it?

Message Board Posts for Chapter 7 (fictional)

He rolled over to find Jana's side of the bed empty and looked at the clock. They had gone to bed just before sunrise and he hadn't bothered to set an alarm. There was nothing scheduled today and the sleep had been definitely needed. But now, it was 3:45 and the entire day was gone.

He turned when the phone rang and answered tiredly, waking up a bit more when he heard his brother's voice on the other side, "So, you don't return your calls anymore?"

"Jerry, I've been touring," he said, pushing himself up to rest his head on the headboard. "I haven't had a chance to call. I just woke up."

"It's 3:45, Kevin," Jerry informed him. "What are you still doing in bed?"

"My schedule is a lot different than most people's right now," he said.

"Is it the schedule, or are you just trying to avoid talking to us?" Kevin groaned and inhaled deeply in response. It was too early for this conversation. "Yes, sound annoyed, Kevin, but which is it?"

"I've been busy, Jerry. We don't get back until after midnight, then there's dinner, trying to wind down... I didn't get to bed until 5:00."

"And is that because of your busy schedule or something else?"

"Just say what you mean, Jerry," he groaned. "I'm not awake enough yet to talk in circles."

"What are you doing, Kevin?"

"What am I doing, Jerry?"

"You took vows before your family and God, Kevin," Jerry reminded him. "What was Kristin talking about when she mentioned divorce?"

"Probably divorce," he answered dryly.

"You made a commitment to Kristin. You made a commitment to God. You don't just break those commitments."

"I'm not just breaking those commitments," he said, sitting up even further. "I'm correcting choices that shouldn't have been made in the first place. You don't know the full story, Jerry. Don't make judgments."

"You don't decide after the fact that marriage is a wrong choice," he scolded. "You chose a life, for better or for worse, with Kristin."

"Should I really have to suffer for the rest of my life with someone that doesn't make me happy?"

"Are you making it unhappy now that you want something else?" Jerry asked.

"You don't have a clue about what's going on."

"I know the rules of marriage, Kevin. I know what the word 'vow' means."

"How about lie?"

"Is it really Jana? Is that why you've decided to throw away your morals and respect?"

"It's not Jana! It's Kristin and me, and really, you have nothing to do with it."

"I'm your brother, like it or not. I have something to do with it when you're making life decisions based on sex. I don't want to see you fall into the trap of this lifestyle you're leading, Kevin."

"My lifestyle?" he asked, almost laughing in disbelief. "That's right, it's taken ten years, but I've finally succumbed to sin and fornication, Jer. I forgot everything I was taught by my family in the last month or so and thought I'd become a player."

Jerry cleared his throat, showing his disapproval of Kevin's tone. "Kevin, you made choices…"

"And I'm still making choices. All by myself, thanks," he interrupted, sitting up. "I'm not doing this right now, Jerry. I'll have to talk to you some other time. In the meantime, try to remember that you don't know the whole story and I'm your family. Not Kristin."

He took his time getting out of bed, trying not to think too hard about Jerry's lecture as well as trying not to feel too much like a thirteen year old being scolded for quitting his paper route. Even if his family was disappointed, it was still his decision in the end. They'd have to accept it sooner or later. It wasn't the act of a willful child this time.

Heading towards the bathroom, he stopped, seeing Jana dressed in leggings and a tee shirt, on her feet and hands with her butt lifted up and her head between her arms. She placed a foot between her hands in one fluid motion and reached her arms out, turning her hips to the side, with her arms before and behind her, looking straight towards the window. She then lifted her right hand up and back, her head turning to watch her hand. "What is that?" he asked

"Yoga," she answered without looking at him. "I'll be done in a bit."

He couldn't turn away, watching her move so fluidly and smoothly. She paid no attention to him as she continued, finally ending up sitting Indian style with her palms laying open over her knees. He couldn't believe it, but she actually chanted 'om' before she taking a breath and turning to him. "Namiste," she said cheerfully.

"Om?" he snickered. "Is that for real?"

"You should try it," she said, standing up. "Does wonders for your stress."

"How much more do you have to surprise me with?" he asked, meeting her halfway in the suite room and kissing her quickly. "Yoga?"

"I'm an actual instructor when I don't have a steady dancing gig," she informed him. "Don't be so skeptical until you've tried it."

"I work my stress out in other ways, darlin'," he said. "A weight room. Something to hit. A bit more physical."

"Don't be so skeptical until you've tried it," she reiterated. "It's a totally different kind of release."

"Maybe some other time," he said doubtfully. "I'm starving."

"I'm going to head downstairs and go out with Shannon," she said. "I figured you'd sleep until we left."

"What're you going to do?"

"Shop, I think," she guessed. "She likes to shop."

"Mind if I tag along?" he asked. "Would I cramp your style?"

"Probably, but you can come anyway if you don't think it'll cause a fuss," she said.

"What do you mean by that?" he snapped.

She widened her eyes and stepped back from him with an awkward smile. "Nothing, Kevin. I was teasing. You know...fans? Outside?"

"Oh, right," he answered. "Sorry."

"What did you think I meant?"

"My family has been informed about the situation. That was my brother calling to let me know I'm breaking my promises to God."

"You can't be serious," she said deadpan, watching Kevin simply nod. "Who told them?"

"Kristin," he answered with a sigh, lifting his shoulder. "Whatever… I'm heading into the shower and I'll meet you down in your room? We can stop off and eat somewhere, I hope?"

"Why would Kristin do that? I thought you said she seemed to understand?" Jana asked, sitting on the arm of the couch.

He turned back to her and sighed. "I don't know why, Jana. She seemed okay when I left her in Boston. I'm not inside her head to know how she thinks. I'm not awake enough yet to even consider what she could think at this point. I just want to take a shower and find something to eat."

She turned her head away with a shake and stood up. "Fine," she said quickly.

"What's that for?"

"What's what?"

"The look?" he asked.

"Your marriage," she said snidely. "I'll meet you down there."

"What's 'my marriage' supposed to mean? I can't help it if she's going to talk to my family. She thought they knew."

"So in the meantime, she becomes the victim and I become the home-wrecker, that's great!" she said sarcastically. "Did you ever tell them what she did?"

"No, I didn't," he answered firmly. "I didn't want them to know at the time so they'd accept her."

"Okay," she said defensively, lifting her hands. "I'll see you down there, okay?" She started towards the door.

"Jana!" he called after her. "I can't help what she says to people."

"Hope she doesn't say something to the press, Kevin. They might already know too," she said pointedly.

"She wouldn't do that!"

"Okay," she said. "Are we done discussing this now?"

"Why are you being such a bitch about this?" he asked, realizing his word choice and immediately cringing. "I didn't mean that…"

"Yes, you did," she answered angrily. "And I'm being a bitch about it because I don't want her to get your entire family against me. If this goes somewhere…"

"If? What's with the 'if'? What do you think we're doing?"

She put her hand up and exhaled heavily. "Okay," she paused, looking away from him, "let's not do this today. At least, not right now. I'm going to go out with Shannon. Maybe it's better we do this separately."

"What did I do?" he asked, confused.

"Nothing, Kevin," she said. "I just need some time."

"Fine." He stormed past her and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

"What're you doing here?" Nick scowled as Kevin wandered down the hall and peeked into Nick's room.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Kevin said, pushing the door open a bit further and resting his shoulder against the frame. "You didn't go exploring with your little groupie?"

"Shut-up, Kevin," Nick grumbled.

Kevin lifted an eyebrow calmly, almost smiling to him in amusement. "Girl problems, Nicky?" he asked, his voice sounding a lot more sincere than his expression.

"No!" he snapped, turning his attention back to his PlayStation game.

"So, Rache is okay with groupies and one night stands?" he asked curiously. "She didn't strike me as the type."

"She's not," he answered angrily, glaring to Kevin. "And so help me, Kevin, you tell her…"

"Yeah," Kevin scoffed, "like I have room to talk. Gimme a break, Nick."

"Yeah, well…" he answered, turning back in time to see his man slaughtered. "Dang it!" He tossed the joystick down in front of him and kicked the table angrily. Kevin, closing the door over with his heel as he walked in, sat down as Nick pouted at him angrily. "I don't think anyone asked you in, dawg."

"Come on, Nicky," he said gently, leaning over to tap his leg gently, "what's going on?" Nick eyed him sideways without replying. Kevin sat back and tilted his head to him with a sigh. "Think about it. Who else is going to understand this sorta thing better?" Nick shifted, sinking further down into the cushions. "What were you thinking last night, little man? Did you fight with Rachel?"

"No," he answered quickly, looking to him quickly. "I don't know what I was doing!" Kevin nodded, looking doubtful. "We didn't! Man…I just…" He sighed angrily and flopped his hands to the couch on either side of him. "I was sick of missing her! I didn't want to sit around another night and fucking miss her. Go ahead, make fun…"

Kevin slouched down and smiled slightly, shaking his head. "Congratulations," he said gently, "you're in a relationship."

"Dang it, Kevin!" he groused with a scowl.

"What?" Kevin asked. "It's true, isn't it?"

"I don't like this part of it," he whined.

"Sucks, doesn't it?" Kevin asked sympathetically.

"I love Rachel," he said firmly. "I do!"

"Yeah," Kevin said with a nod.

"I just…"

"Hey, Nicky, I understand," he said. "I think pretty much anyone with a dick would understand. If they have breasts, you're screwed. You've got yourself a good lesson in how to make yourself feel like more crap than you did in the first place. Hard lesson to learn."

"I'm so not doing this again!" Nick ranted with another sigh, banging his head against the back of the couch.

"Not if you want to keep Rachel, you're not," he said. "She's no Kristin."

"Yeah…well…"

Kevin put his hand up. "I know. Let's leave it at that."

"But, wait a second," Nick said, pushing himself up a bit. "How do you do it, then?"

Kevin stretched his legs out and draped his hands over his stomach with a heavy breath. "I'm a shit?" he answered with a shrug. "Kristin isn't an angel. There's lot of excuses, but when it comes down to it, right now, I can do it because…" He hesitated, looking at Nick for a moment with indecision. Telling Nick would mean, eventually, it would be all over the place. Secrecy was not his strong point…but did it really matter? "What it comes down to is basically…I'm in love with Jana again. And it doesn't feel like cheating."

"Oh, mine was definitely cheating." Nick nodded, banging his head against the back of the couch again.

"That's pretty much how you tell the difference," Kevin said with a shrug. "The others were cheating, but Kristin always seemed to look the other way. Almost like she knew it wasn't serious. She's not looking away this time."

"She's not?" Nick asked. Kevin just shook his head calmly and lifted a shoulder. "So, what're you going to do?"

"Right now? Who the heck knows. Jana went off in a huff this morning for some reason. Not that I have a clue why."

"PMS?" Nick asked ironically.

"Who the hell knows?" Kevin grumbled. "I don't know what the hell I did. Kristin broke the news to my family without checking with me." Nick winced for him. "Yeah, I had a fight with Jerry this morning. Haven't called my mom yet. Jana's pissed that Kristin told them - like I had some kind of control over it. Whatever." He waved his hand quickly and shook his head.

"So you're having a good day too, huh?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, total blast," Kevin answered unenthusiastically.

"Man, things are really fucked up," Nick commented with a shake of his head, putting his feet up on the coffee table and crossing his arms. "When'd it get so screwy?"

"Milwaukee," Kevin answered immediately. "I knew I was in for it then."

Nick slouched down further and sighed. "Hell, I'm weeks ahead of you."

"Dude, I've got haven't thought about Jana for twelve years. Twelve years came back to haunt me in Milwaukee. She brought back a past that I so didn't want to think about. And yet, here I am…"

"Women," Nick grumbled.

"Like you'd know!" Kevin teased. "You've finally found a real woman for the first time in your life, Nick. What do you know about women? You haven't even started to learn, little man. It's going to be fun to watch you though."

"Can y'all please not laugh at my expense this time?" he whined tiredly. "I can't help it that I'm younger than y'all."

"No, you can't," Kevin agreed shaking his head to the side, "but I've already been in your shoes. You've been in mine. Tell me you don't take the smallest amount of pleasure watching Aaron stumble over the same steps you've made." Nick gave him a sideways glance and cocked a half smile. "Yeah, deny it, punk-ass," Kevin laughed, tossing one of the pillows from the couch at him.

Nick grabbed it and pulled it onto his lap, tugging at the corner for a moment. "So, what would you do then? Would you tell Rachel?"

Kevin lifted his palms up and shook his head. "You know her better than I do. That's your call."

"But what would you do?"

"I've done it all, Nicky. Depends on how well you know her and how she'll react and what you're planning on doing down the road. Only you can answer that question. I've done my share of apologizing and lying to the ladies in my life."

"Why the heck does Kristin keep taking you back?"

Kevin shrugged. "I have no idea. You'd think she'd have given up by now."

"Did you really love her when you married her?"

Kevin sighed, having to think about it. "I thought I did," he said. "Maybe not as much as I had hoped I would, but in some ways. Still do, in some ways, I guess. It's just…different now. I don't know. Don't want to think about it. I just know that right now, it's right with Jana. It's everything I thought it should be. Now all I have to do is figure the rest of it out without creating more of a mess."

"Yeah, me too," Nick sighed, leaning over to start the game over again. "Wanna play?"

~ Message Board ~

Message Board Posts for Chapter 7 (fictional)

Birds In Your Garden Disclaimer | Email Coriander

Read the companion story:
Oreos for Breakfast (Nick Fanfic)
by The Pumpkin Coach & Paperbag Princess

c. 2001, 2002 by Coriander
Some content not suitable for children. You have been warned.

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