Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 10
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"We need to talk," Kristin said as they stood up to deplane. He wasn't sure what that tone was in her voice, but it was unsettling and she looked at him with partial hatred. He was sure that was what he saw, but she walked in front of him and headed towards the waiting vans without waiting for him.

"What's that all about?" Nick asked.

"Dunno," he sighed, slinging the strap of his flight case over his shoulder.

"I think you're gonna find out, dawg," Nick teased lightly, patting his shoulder.

"I know I am," he mumbled, walking behind Nick and heading out to the vans.

New York City fascinated him and perplexed him. Every time he was there, the whole concept of living in a city like this was foreign to him; the people, the rush, the buildings, all concrete and attitude. Just thinking about living somewhere that didn't have any natural wildlife, trees, or even grass, completely made no sense to him, but did explain the cold, brusque attitudes he found prominently with the general public. The energy was a definitely a rush, but it never lasted long and after spending days there, he wanted to leave.

This time, as he watched the mass of rush hour swarm the streets from the van, he barely noticed what was around. Kristin managed to keep her distance, sitting in the front and refusing to look back at all. Everyone seemed to be looking between them, their eyes questioning what was going on. Everyone but Brian, that is. Brian kept looking at him as if he wanted to apologize, and he couldn't figure out why. What had they talked about on the plane? He didn't think she'd be pleased with him for refusing her, but her attitude didn't seem to be a reflection of that.

They made their way up to the room, and in spite of just wanting to climb into the bed, he dropped his flight case and watched her pace around the floor of the suite room, kicking off her shoes before turning to glare at him with her hands on her hips. "You've never even loved me, have you?"

Kevin blinked at her, looking up and around the room before looking back at her. "Where the hell did that come from?" he asked, completely baffled.

"I've been nothing but a substitute for her all along, haven't I?" she continued angrily, taking a step towards him.

"Have you?" he asked, shaking his head slightly in confusion.

"She was a cheerleader?" Kristin fired.

"Uh…yeah…"

"Midwest cheerleader?"

"Yeah…" he replied slowly.

"Blonde, perky…"

"Okay, sure…"

"Interested in dancing? She studied dance?"

"She's a dancer, Kris…"

"She studied dance in school? When she was younger?"

"Well, yeah, I guess…"

"You're not seeing the similarities, Kevin?" she asked furiously. "You don't think that maybe you fell for me because I was some kind of replica for the girl you left back home?"

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" he ranted, finally losing his patience. He waved a hand at her and headed towards the bedroom, not even bothering to reply.

"Don't walk away from me!" she called after him as she followed. "I'm serious, Kevin! You never considered that? That I had all the same interests as your hometown girlfriend?"

"No!" he yelled turning to her and tossing the bedspread down. "And I'm not going to stand here and listen to pure bullshit! You want to think I lied to you, then fine. But I never even considered it. Maybe I liked Jana because I liked dancers? Who the hell knows! What the hell difference does it make at this point?"

"Because it wouldn't be me that was living the lie anymore, Kevin!" she said with accusation in her voice. "Maybe you want out of this marriage so desperately because the person you really loved all along is back in your life!"

"I never wanted in this marriage, Kristin!" he yelled, taking a step towards her. "Why is it such a shock that I want out?"

"It would explain your reluctance to commit to me!"

"My reluctance to commit to you could be explained by what was going on in my life, Kristin! Goddamn it! Where the fuck have you been? For the last eight and a half years I've been trying to make this group work! I was touring non-stop for years! I was dealing with the loss of my father! I was dealing with trying to get my fucking soul back from Lou Perlman and Jive and the Wrights! I was performing all over the place, trying to keep these boys in line and take care of my immediate surroundings! How could I have committed to you in all of that? Think about it, Kristin!"

"And yet you can commit to her now with everything going on?" she asked angrily, but her voice broke in tears.

"Fine, if you want to think that I was just screwing around and settling for you…" He shook his head and picked up a pillow, throwing it angrily back down towards the headboard before glaring back at her. "Fine. That's what I was doing. I lied all along and never loved you in the least. Every time we had sex, I was fantasizing about Jana! All the conversations we had, in my head, I was having them with Jana too! When I cheated on you, I was really cheating on Jana. Whatever commitments I had made to you, were all lies. Feel better? Is that what you want to hear? Is that easier for you to accept?" He motioned to the mattress and tilted his head. "I have to be up in three hours and ready to perform again - I'm sure you can find some kind of link to Jana in that too. Until you do though, can I at least get some rest?"

"You're such a bastard."

"Yeah, I'm a fuck," he grumbled, lying down. "Aren't you glad you tricked me into marrying you? Careful what you wish for, baby." He looked over his shoulder at her quickly and then dropped his head onto the pillow, attempting to ignore the stifled sounds of her crying as she stood in the doorway, but he couldn't. He took a deep breath and sat up, looking over to her. "What do you want me to say, Kris?" he asked wearily. "I don't want to do this. I just don't." He brought his knees up and locked his elbows around them, looking at her as she remained in the doorway with tears streaming down her cheeks. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know," she answered, crying harder and reaching her hand out to pick at the molding on the door.

"Kris…come on," he said, softening his voice.

"I want you to say it's going to be fine between us," she said, looking back to him. "And I know you're not going to. And I'm freaked out by the similarities between Jana and me and just feel like an idiot for not knowing. If I had, maybe I wouldn't have…"

"Kris," he said, releasing a heavy breath, "you weren't a replacement. I never thought of you like that, and you know it."

"It makes sense though," she said in a small voice. "It just makes sense. And now, I don't have a chance to get you back." She shook her head slowly, looking at him sadly. "I don't have a chance to get you back."

He sat motionless for a while, unsure of whether or not he should attempt to comfort her. Instead he looked at the edge of the mattress and quietly exhaled, listening to the quiet breaths of Kristin's crying. When he couldn't take it anymore, he slowly lifted his chin up to look at her, realizing she was now watching him with fearful, tear-filled eyes. All he needed to do was lift his arm up towards her, and she went to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her head into his shoulder, fully releasing the sobs she had attempted to hold back.

He wanted to say he was sorry, because he was, but he didn't want to make her think he would change his mind either. He wanted her to understand what he had felt, see what he was feeling now, but she wasn't going to understand with this much hurt and disappointment. She wanted him to love her in spite of everything and he couldn't.

He dropped his cheek against her head and ran his hand down her back gently, offering whatever comfort he could. And then, it seemed almost automatic. A gentle touch, leading to a kiss; a kiss leading to a longer kiss, a longer caress; her hands roaming along his skin; his hands tracing the delicate shapes of her curves. Anything had to be better than the tears and the pain. He knew for sure he hadn't reached out to her for anything but comfort, and she was requesting a different kind. He didn't even consider turning her away this time. He didn't even consider what they were doing until after it was over, when he felt her fingertips on his bare skin as she lay naked next to him with her head on his shoulder in complete, awkward silence.

"She's going to the show tonight, isn't she?" Kristin asked quietly.

He couldn't bear to look at her and closed his eyes. "Yeah."

"I know you didn't mean it," she said more softly. "Mean for this to happen, or…any of this to happen. Maybe you wanted her all along, and I was too stubborn to let anyone else have you." She pulled herself up on her elbows to look down at him, sliding a fingertip over his cheekbone. "I love you so much," she said, barely shaking her head at him. "I know you well enough to know you've made up your mind." Her eyes filled with tears again and she sat up, turning her back towards him. "It just hurts, you know?"

"I know," he said, trying to find his voice. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I tried, Kris."

"I'm going to stay with Kathy," she said, looking over her shoulder. "I'll fly out tomorrow." The only thing he could do was nod slightly. "I'll see you in a few days and we'll start making arrangements." She leaned over and picked up her clothes from the floor, slowly dressing.

"You gonna be okay?" he asked, suddenly feeling very exposed.

She glanced to him with saddened eyes. "That's not your concern anymore, is it?" she asked miserably.

"Kris…"

"I'll be okay, Kevin. I'll see you in a few days."

He listened to her walk out and lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out what just happened. Trying to figure out why he felt so miserable when she had finally given in to his request and seemed to understand that it was over. It was that sad, desolate look in her eyes that he kept remembering. Soft, gentle and completely hopeless. He had done that to her, and instead of hanging up the phone and going on with his life, he got to see the full extent of what he was doing to her - her life, her hopes, her dreams. It was obvious, somewhere along the way, he'd managed to fail her miserably even though he knew deep down it was the best thing. Even without Jana, his marriage with Kristin would never have lasted. Jana had just caused him to make the break sooner. Maybe even helped because eventually, Kristin would have had a child.

As he lay there, wondering about her, he received his morning wake up call. His few hours of sleep had been wasted, and now he had to perform for people who really did have something to mourn. He was going to be fine. Kristin would pick up the pieces of her life, and everything would settle down, but the people he would perform for knew a much harsher reality. Thinking of them, he dragged his exhausted body to the shower, telling himself how trivial his worries really were. No one was dead. He didn't have to fish through concrete and rubble and ash for body parts for twelve-hour shifts. He should be thanking God for how good things had managed to turn out, but then he would remember that look in Kristin's eyes. Their pain didn't compare, but it was still pretty dang real.

~

He answered the knock at the door as he wrapped a towel around his waist. Brian was already dressed and standing in the doorway, looking to the floor, and he slowly lifted his head when the door opened in front of him. "Hey," he said guiltily, following behind Kevin and closing the door over. "I saw Kristin leave."

"What the hell did you tell her?" Kevin asked, from the doorway of the suite room.

Brian shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers and looked back down to the floor. "She asked me to tell her about Jana. She didn't think you were serious when you said you wanted to marry her."

"What did you tell her?" he asked, disappearing back into the room to finish dressing.

"Just what I thought, really," he said, looking towards the empty doorway. "Just that you had been really serious about her before you left for Florida. The truth, basically. She said you hadn't ever mentioned her."

"I didn't," Kevin said as he came out of the bedroom in his pale gray, pinstriped suit trousers and black shirt, draping the matching suit jacket and black tie over the back of a chair. "I didn't see the point in making her feel worse."

"She didn't believe you," Brian told him as Kevin combed his hair back into a ponytail. "And she wanted to know the truth. She didn't believe it with what you were telling her. I didn't want to pry, Kev, but she didn't let me get out of answering."

"I'm not blaming you, Bri," he said, looking at him in the mirror. "I'm just trying to figure out what how she went from 'let's work it out' to 'I'm leaving in the morning' - no questions asked."

"Y'all fight?" he asked.

Kevin glanced at him and turned his focus to trimming his beard in the mirror. "Yes and no." He shrugged, not wanting to admit what happened. Brian wouldn't understand 'accidentally' having sex. "I don't want to get into it. Everyone else ready?" he asked, finishing up. He headed back into the living room and wrapped his tie around his neck, slipped his jacket on and headed out into the hallway, immediately calling "Come on! Let's go!"

~

"Oh my God!" Leslie stopped walking and blinked at the crowd outside of the hotel. "I got it, let's tell Bush to hire the Backstreet Boys next time he needs protection. These people won't let anyone near the place!"

"And if they want them to attack, just drop Nick's ex or me in the mix," Jana said with a sarcastic grin. "Stay close." She reached back and grabbed Leslie's hand, heading through the crowd on the sidewalk towards the front entrance. "Hi, Glen," Jana said to the doorman. "They back yet?"

"Not yet," he answered, opening the door for her. The gesture was met with screaming and insults.

"How'd you do that?" Leslie said, stepping beside Jana and blinking at her.

"Do what?"

"Know him?" she asked, pointing behind her.

"I stayed here the last time they were in town," Jana said. "This is the difference between five-star hotels and your chain hotels. They're paid to remember who goes with who." She headed over to the elevators and dragged out her cell phone, pressing a button on her speed dial. "Hi, Carlos, Les and I are at the hotel, outside the elevators. Wanna ring God and tell them to let us up? Thanks." She hung up and stuck it back in her bag, looking up to Leslie grinning at her. "What?"

"You were so born for this lifestyle," she teased.

"It's all common sense." Jana shrugged.

"Yeah," Leslie giggled. "You were born to this. I'm impressed beyond all hell with this whole damn thing. You're just so…comfortable."

"It's just Kevin. Kind of hard to be nervous and giddy when it's the guy you fooled around with in high school."

"Trust me," Leslie chuckled with a nod, "anyone that looks like Kevin, regardless of when I knew him, seeing him look like he does now? I'd be a wreck. He's prettier than I am. It's not fair."

"I try not to think too hard about it, to be honest," Jana admitted with a giggle. "I keep catching myself sometimes watching him and be completely overwhelmed. He becomes two separate people sometimes. On stage, he's sexy as fuck and I'm like 'holy shit, that's the guy I'm with?' Off stage, sometimes he gets me. But when we're just hanging out talking, he's just Kevin. The guy I was crushed out on in high school. He can still be that clueless, sadly. Cute, but sad."

The far elevator opened, and Eddie's head popped out, smiling when he saw Jana, and he waved for her to come over. "Hey, baby," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "Good to see you."

"You too," she said warmly. "Eddie, this is my best friend in all of the world, Leslie. Les, this is one of the sweetest people on the planet, Eddie."

"She only says that because I let her upstairs," Eddie teased, extending his hand. "How'd it go?"

"Man, they kicked butt," Jana beamed. "The whole show was pretty amazing. Lots of crying, but…weird. It was definitely one of those moments you had to be there to understand fully. Just a really uplifting audience, for the most part. Except for when Richard Gere came out and told them to be forgiving. Good message, wrong crowd. I'm surprised he got out alive."

"Well, ladies, here we are," Eddie said, sweeping his hand out as the elevators opened. "Kev's third door on the left."

"Thanks, dear," Jana said heading down the hallway as Leslie took her time, looking around.

"Jana, this is sickening," she whispered. "This bit of carpeting is probably more expensive than our entire apartment."

"You ain't seen nothin' yet," she said, heading into Kevin's room. "This is sickening."

"Fuck me," Leslie gasped walking into the room with widened eyes. "Yeah, this is sickening. How many paychecks would we have to combine to afford a night in this room?"

"You don't want to know," Jana laughed, settling down on the eggshell white sofa.

Leslie walked around, peering through the curtains. She turned back and scoffed. "Well, forget that, there's no view. He was gypped."

Awhile later they heard voices in the hallway, and moments later, Kevin walked in, stopping short when he saw Leslie, not recognizing her immediately. "Leslie!" he said, shaking his head. "Sorry!" He walked over and hugged her warmly before sitting next to Jana, warmly kissing her hello and holding her against him. "Damn, it's good to see you."

"You kicked butt, baby," she said with a grin, kissing him quickly. "How was it backstage?"

Kevin grinned sideways and nodded proudly. "There was a lotta love goin' on backstage. Unbelievable! Hectic." He widened his eyes. "Chaotic…but the people, man." He bit his bottom lip. "Those kids." He blew a deep breath out. "Dang…they're amazing."

"He just said 'dang', didn't he?" Leslie laughed.

"He's a good boy," Jana said, patting Kevin's head. "A very good boy." Kevin lifted an eyebrow at her and smirked. "Anyway," she chuckled, "Leslie and I are heading out. We know you're tired, so you don't need to feel obligated to come, but you are invited. We're just meeting some friends at one of the bars."

Kevin shook his head and slouched slightly. "Nah, I'd love to, but…I'll be useless tomorrow, and we've got three days left of a full schedule."

"I know," Jana said with a smile, kissing his cheek. "I just didn't want to assume."

"You comin' back here when you're done?" Kevin asked.

"You want me to?" she asked. "I could stay with Leslie."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him, snuggling close as he kissed her shoulder. "I want to at least wake up next to you," he whispered in her ear. "Might be the only time I get to see you, even if you are sleeping."

She whimpered quietly and dropped her head to his shoulder. "God, I love you," she said as she pulled back and kissed him quickly.

"Oh, enough of the mushy crap," Leslie teased. "Can you turn her knees to jelly on your own time? I've got people to meet." She tapped her watch and lifted her eyebrows. "You don't have to come, Jan."

"No, I want to," she protested. "I haven't seen Tommy Henderson in years."

"Who's Tommy Henderson?" Kevin asked.

Leslie stood up and looked at Jana. "Oh, just one of Jana's, uh, old friends," she snickered playfully.

Kevin looked at Jana, tilting his head and lifting his eyebrows. "Is that why you're dressed to the nines? Going to show off, darlin?"

"Something like that, yes." She stood up, smoothing her mini skirt with her hands. "Do you think I can knock his socks off and make him regret dumping me?"

"Baby, he regrets it without looking at you in a mini skirt, but it's a nice touch."

"God, I love you!" she giggled, leaning over to kiss him good-bye.

"Come back when you're done," he said, walking them to the door and sliding his hand over her butt. "If Tommy Henderson doesn't appreciate the mini skirt, I do."

~

Jana hadn't laughed so hard with her friends in months. They were a group of nine taking over a corner of the bar, loud, laughing and talking over each other and the music. She had definitely drank too much, smoked too much and she knew she was beyond her usual 'just get tipsy' and well on her way to 'blotto', but didn't care. She was sitting on a stool to keep her from swaying, and Tommy was right next to her with his hand on her shoulder helping. It almost felt like old times, except for the fact that in the back of her head, she knew Kevin was sleeping a few blocks away, hopefully dreaming of her in a mini skirt. Although Tommy still looked as gorgeous as ever. His light brown hair still wavy, but the front had grown out. She fought the urge to reach up and push the waves from hanging into his light brown eyes. Eyes that she swore could have seen into her soul at one point. He had been working out and his shirt fit snugly across his chest and arms. His trousers were tailored well across his hips and butt. Maybe he had tried to look good on purpose too?

He ordered another midori sour, leaning over her to the bartender, and she could smell his spicy aftershave. When he leaned back up, he looked over and winked at her. Actually winked at her like he used to do. From across any bar, whenever she had looked at him, he'd be watching her and wink. It was all she'd needed back then, and it had filled her ego to know he was looking at her in spite of the females throwing themselves at him. He would be going home with her and that was all she had cared about.

"So, you're still dancing?" Tommy asked, leaning closer to her so she could hear. "I was going to work one morning and saw your picture on the front of some rag and couldn't believe it was you. Even if they didn't use your name and you had red hair, I knew it was you. What happened, Jan? I thought you were one of those chicks that didn't believe in dating married men?"

"It's a very long story, baby," she said, patting his shoulder. "Kevin's the one exception to just about everything in my world."

"Why, because he's a Backstreet Boy and has money?" he asked, sliding a finger beneath her chin and winking.

"There's nothing boy about him," she defended, attempting to sit up indignantly. "And he loves me."

"And his wife?"

"His wife is an even longer story." She shook her head quickly, feeling her brain continue to slosh around after she finished her drink. "Besides, at least I knew he was married before I started. It wasn't like he started dating her after he met me."

"Oh, ouch," Tommy winced, winking at her again. "You'll never forgive me for that, will you?"

She smiled and tapped his chin gently. "Not a chance. In spite of how good you look now, you blew it, baby."

"You were hot when I dated you," he said, surveying her, "but you definitely weren't this hot."

"News flash," she said, dropping her chin, "I certainly was! You just got bored with me, remember?"

"I was an ass," he laughed with a shrug, dropping some money on the counter for the bartender.

She laughed and pat his arm. "Yeah, you were." She took the drink from him and sipped it, lifting her eyebrows at him over the rim.

"So, if your man is in town now, why isn't he here? Too good to go slumming with your friends?"

"No, too tired and has a full schedule. Tomorrow, while you and I are sleeping off our hangovers, he's going to Washington DC to perform in front of another stadium filled with fans. Then he's got two days of press following that. Funny thing, Tom, he actually works for a living."

"And I don't?"

"He doesn't get weekends off," she corrected. "He doesn't get much time off at all, actually. And I've seen him work, it's a hell of a lot more grueling than sitting at a desk and talking on a phone all day."

"So, I'm not good enough for you anymore?" he teased.

"You were never good enough for me," she laughed. "I was just too blind to notice."

"Well, when he breaks your heart Jana," Tommy said, leaning closer to her, his lips almost against hers, "call me."

"Are you suggesting that I'm not good enough for him?" she asked, pulling back from him.

"There are very few people who are good enough for you," Tommy said quickly in a flirty tone.

"Count yourself among them, baby," she teased, smirking at him and patting his shoulder.

"Damn, I burned you, didn't I?" he laughed, falling back in a laugh. "You still hate me? Really?"

"I don't hate you, Tommy," she said with a gentle shake of her head. "I just don't think about you anymore."

"Jana's drunk!" Danny announced to the group. "She's in her 'in-de-pen-dent' phase already," he continued, mimicking Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

"Jana's trashed," Jana announced, lifting her glass up in a toast and drained the last of it. "And I need to pee." She slid off the stool, grabbing Leslie's hand and passed through the group as they laughed, chanting 'break the seal! Break the seal!' after her.

"He is all over you!" Leslie laughed as Jana fell through the stall door. "What the hell's up with that?"

"I don't know," Jana squealed. "He told me to call him when Kevin breaks my heart! Can you believe it? Oh my God, was he always this cocky?"

"Yeah!" Leslie answered her. "Why do you think I hated him so much? Fuckin' know it all!"

"Like I'd go back to someone like him?" Jana cackled. "If anything happens with Kevin, that's it. I'm done and joining a nunnery." She came out of the stall tugging at her stockings. "He's ruined me for every other man on the face of the planet." She looked up at Leslie and crinkled her forehead. "I am so far gone."

"Honey, I am so far gone on him with you," Leslie said, wrapping her arms around Jana's shoulders to pat her back. "He's spoiled me for other men because I want someone like him to look at me the way he looks at you."

"I wanna go home," Jana whined in a giggle. "He's sleeping just a few blocks from here. What am I doing here?" She grabbed Leslie's shoulder and laughed. "I could have been having sex with my new hot boyfriend!"

"You should go home, honey," Leslie agreed. "We both should. We're much too drunk to be responsible for our behavior anymore, and that..."

"...is not responsible drinking!" They both finished the sentence simultaneously. They burst through the door back into the bar and started back towards their friends, but Tommy was waiting outside the door and grabbed Jana's elbow, holding her back. "Come here a second," he said with a grin. Leading her to the other side of the bar, he stopped in front of the pinball machine and put his hand on the outer edges, leaning close so that she arched her back to move away, but he leaned closer and kissed her.

She pushed him away and lifted an eyebrow before breaking out into a laugh. "What the fuck was that all about?" she asked. "Have you drank so much you think you're in a time warp?"

"Oh, come on," he scoffed, leaning in again. "You've been flirting with me all night!"

"Flirting," she said pointedly. "Not asking for a kiss. Not asking to go back in time. Not wanting you back. I've got someone and trust me, baby, you so don't measure up to my standards. I'm going now so I can be with a man that loves me. He knows what love means." She pushed past him and started towards her friends.

"Bitch," Tommy scowled indignantly, turning to look at her. She chuckled, lifted her arms up and twirled, adding a curtsey at the end.

~

Jana crawled across the bed, trying not to wake Kevin up as he sprawled across the bed, but she had to figure out how to get him to give her some room. She leaned over and kissed his bare shoulder, tickling the back of his neck and between his shoulders. "Kevy," she tried whispering, but it was too drunk to be a very quiet whisper. He lifted his head and squinted at her with a groaning sigh. "Just move over, baby," she giggled, touching his cheek. "I need some rooooom," she whined playfully, as she dropped down heavily beside him.

"You're wasted," he said tiredly, managing a smile. He rolled onto his side and dropped an arm around her waist. "I'll hold you in the bed this time, eh?"

"I love you," she sighed, dropping against him, running her hand down his arm and intertwining her fingers with his. "So much."

"Mmm hmmm," he said.

"No, really," she said, flopping heavily to face him. "After seeing Tommy tonight?"

He couldn't open his eyes. "He liked the mini?" he managed to ask.

"You could say that," she answered, snuggling closer to him. "I just can't figure out what I liked about him so much anymore. Outside of him being attractive. He doesn't look at me like you do. Or make me feel the way you do."

"He doesn't love you," Kevin managed to answer, wishing he could be more awake to have this conversation, but he had been sleeping too long, and it was clinging to him. He wanted to tell her he loved her. Listening to her talk, having her in the bed, he knew what happened with Kristin was the last of it. This is what he wanted -- her energy, her excitement and her honesty. She couldn't be lying to him now. It was too late. She was too drunk and he was too tired to figure out any ulterior motive behind her words. He was more than happy to let her love him, lie in his arms and be close. It was all he wanted from her and exactly what he felt.

Years ago they had gone up to his father's camp after having gone to the movies. She was giggly and playful, in a great mood after passing one of her finals. The entire afternoon had been just them, wandering around the small town, driving around and listening to music blast from the car's tape player with the windows down and the sun shining.

He'd showed her around the camp, taking her on a mini tour and they'd ended up near one of the campfire grounds, lighting a fire and just listening to the wood crackle and pop as the night grew dark around them. He'd lain back on the ground to look at the mass of stars overhead, and she'd lain down beside him, putting her head on his shoulder, and she'd sighed, looking up into the sky.

"One day, Kev, we're gonna be brighter than the stars up there," she'd said wistfully. "We'll get out of here and see the real world, and there's nothing that can hold us back."

"Isn't this about the time someone usually says 'careful what you wish for?'" he'd asked, turning his head down to look at her and reaching his hand over to hold hers against his chest, flattening her hand so she could feel the pounding of his heart.

"How bad could it be?" she'd asked. "Other people manage to survive it. Why can't we? What's wrong with wishing? At least it's better than staying here and twenty years later thinking 'what if?'"

What if…

She had encouraged him so much to move ahead and stand up to do what he dreamt of. Encouraged him so much that he'd taken her advice and left her behind as he did it. But that night, confidence had blanketed them and that was the night they'd decided to meet in New York after she graduated to make it all come real. He hadn't even been sure what he was agreeing to at the time, but they'd been serious when they talked about it. Where they could live, how they could pursue their dreams… How had he ended up in Florida? Yet still, right now, somehow, here they were in New York, and they were figuring out where and how they could pursue their dreams. Different dreams, same theory. This time, he was going to be smart enough to not leave her behind.

Birds In Your Garden: Chapter 10
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Read the companion story:
Oreos for Breakfast (Nick Fanfic)
by The Pumpkin Coach & Paperbag Princess

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Some content not suitable for children. You have been warned.