Darien's Tour Diary

9/22/01

It's hard to make a video, dudes. We got totally spoiled with the first one. We just called up Em Evesham and she showed up with a hand held camera and off we went.

But, no, this time its important. We've had one successful single, now we have to have another, so the video is a big deal. The song is 'Pretend to be Nice', in case anyone cares. Because that doesn't really seem to matter in the context of the video. Now the videos are all about lighting and wardrobe and plots and other ridiculous things.

Actually, we were supposed to be filming it today. We had a director and a treatment. (Treatment. Don't you love that word? Makes it sound like a medical procedure. Let me tell you, it's starting to feel like surgery.) But then a few things happened and we talked to that director and you end up making a choice- do you go with the treatment that you actually love, that fits the song, and deal with the creepy director? Or do you start all over again because you can't imagine being in the same room with the guy for more than five minutes?

We went with starting all over again, because this guy had Rachel's feminist outrage at a boiling point. Ten minutes with this guy and she would have just exploded, letting all her body hair grow out of control and spitting out slogans like 'My body, my choice!' and "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!'

Well, all right, that last one would be James. And speaking of James, guess who we hung out with last night? Us boys went to the charity screening of "Rock Star" (So true to life, that flick. Plucked out of obscurity and suddenly surrounded by groupies, yes, it's a good life. Hey… that's not my life! I just hang out on the tour bus with the same stupid people I've been hanging out with forever! Where are my groupies? Where are the wild parties? Most importantly, where are the freaking pyrotechnics? What does it take to get the bucks to get explosions onstage?) (And Marky Mark was pretty good. He really hates being called that. I swear, he almost took Jeremy out when he overheard us talking after the screening.)

Uh, yeah. Digression. Anyway, we hung with Mr. Joshua Chasez last night. We met him before, at that MTV thing (and let me tell you, James is so cute when he's in the presence of his crush. Gets all tongue-tied like a school girl!). But at the MTV thing, there was no press. Get over to Wire Image, all you slashers. James and JC in one shot, I can hear the naughty thoughts being composed already.

Oh yes, we know about slash. Oh yes, there have been dramatic readings on the tour bus.

JC's a pretty cool guy. Some famous guys would probably want to be miles away from James, the gay poster boy, but JC just thinks it's amusing. Which is good, because its not like homosexuality is catching or anything. Believe me, I've shared a lot of beds with the guy, and I'm pretty darn straight.

Oh, listen, I can hear the slash just writing itself yet again.

But none of this has anything to do with the recipe of the day. Lola tells me you guys really liked the last recipe, so now it needs to be my thing, and eventually I'll get to publish a cookbook and they'll get me a show on the Food Network- 'Tour Bus Treats'- and- alright, am I getting ahead of myself or what?

So you will remember that last week I was all psyched to go get a heavy-ass cast iron skillet and fry up… something. Well best laid plans and all that. I got to the Williams Sonoma and I don't know what happened. I think I was possessed by the midwestern spirit (we were in Chicago that counts, right? To those of us East Coasters everything past Philadelphia is mid-west, but Em got really mad when I told her that…) and ended up buying… wait for it… JELLO MOLDS!

They are so cool, dudes! And you don't have to just use them for Jello… no! You can do salmon mousse and bread puddings and all sorts of cool things. And yes, there are the infamous Jello shots, but our legal team tells me I am NOT allowed to share my "star spangled Jello shots" recipe with you because of liability or something silly like that. How very rock 'n roll to give a fuck about liability, huh? Cracks me up! But I must obey because we are now paying them a hell of a lot of money to make sure we end up with a career at the end of this summer.

Hmmm… wonder if Jello needs a rocker-type spokesperson? That could be cool. Wonder which of our songs could be the Jello theme song… OOOOHHH! "Shapeshifter". Yeah, that'd put that boring old 'watch it wiggle, see it jiggle' out of business!

Yet again, I disgress… but you're used to that now, aren't you? Yeah. You should be around when Rachel and James are drinking. Talk about getting off track! Somehow we ended up in a deep philosophical discussion last week about the merits of pickles that need to be stored in the refrigerator section versus the shelves at grocery stores. (For the record, the refrigerated kind are nearly always crisper and that's what I'm looking for in a pickle. A real "crunch" when you bite into it. Hmm… are there any pickle recopies you can do on a bus I wonder. The rate Saffron and Lola keep adding dates to our tour, I might have to learn how to do some canning in the bus because I may never get back to my real kitchen.)

Canning - and we are BACK to the Midwest! Amazing the way the human mind works, isn't it?

So… at the Williams Sonoma I found star-shaped Jello molds and since we're feeling all patriotic and 'rah-rah' America these days, I thought I'd share with you my second-favorite Jello recipe and it's dead simple:

4 Jello molds (for 4 whiny members of your band who refuse to share!)
2 packages Jello (any flavor, but keeping with the whole USA-theme, let's use cherry, okay? Besides, it's Jeremy's favorite!)
½ tub of Cool Whip whipped topping - you could use real whipped cream, but we're in the Midwest, and Cool Whip is king!
1 small package of blueberries

Prepare Jello as instructed on package (something like a cup of hot water and cup of cold, I dunno… check your directions dudes and dudettes!). Let sit in refrigerator for 10-15 minutes until slightly thickened. Fold in Cool Whip and distribute equally among Jello molds (again, remember your band are sharing and they don't always play nice!). Cool for another 10-15 minutes and then add blueberries to top. Personally, I like to do shapes with my berries, but it's up to you. DON'T put the berries in first, though or they all sink to the bottom. This way they're the nice surprise at the end of Jello! Let cool until Jello is set completely and then turn out onto shallow dishes and serve! Garnish with a few extra blueberries and/or Cool Whip!

Hope you like that and if you see me on the road, feel free to ask about the shots… man, they are fun at a party! One hint… pop rocks are your friends! Oh… yeah…!

Later,
d.

9/14/01

Hey, dudes, Darien here. Our new management (we got new management, which means you might be sick of us soon) is redoing the site, and they suggested that I resurrect the tour diary. And I'm just sitting around in Chicago, since we can't go anywhere, so no time like the present, right?

I was checking out the board, and on behalf of the band, thanks for the thoughts. We're fine, everyone we know in New York is fine, which is really a fucking miracle. We had friends that were in the Towers, and saw all sorts of horrible things, but everyone we know is safe and uninjured physically. Really glad to see that all you crazy people who post to the boards are okay, too.

We'll bring the tour back up in a couple of days, in Detroit. Rock fucking city, man. We just needed a few days to catch our breath, ya know? I think most of the world did. But we'll be back, and we're trying to reschedule the dates we skipped. Management is taking care of that.

Dudes, management rocks. Like, I know you all don't really know about this behind the scenes stuff- fuck, I barely get it- but suddenly there's this great weight lifted off our collective shoulders. Saffron rules. That's our new manager, Saffron Smith. Saffron is also a very expensive spice, but well worth it. And our record company person is named Amber. Besides both being yellows, Amber and Saffron are the names of Simon leBon's two oldest daughters. Do you think the little one feels left out? She's just named Tallulah.

Yeah, this is what I get like when left to my own devices. Musing on colors and Duran daughters and spices.

Hey, did everyone see our Rolling Stone article? The guy went grocery shopping with me. I didn't know he was taking notes!

Maybe I should give you tour bus recipes. It is always a challenge. We've got a microwave, a hot pot (Rachel insists upon calling it an 'electric kettle,' since she lived in London for like two months, now she's so freaking international), a two burner stove, and the world's smallest oven. It only fits one tiny little baking sheet. And we've got a saucepan and a frying pan. When we were still in the van, we had a cast iron pan, too, because I fucking love cast iron cookware, man. It holds the heat like the sand at the Jersey shore in the middle of July, and you don't have to wash it! (And it's heavy so you can use it as free weights… bonus!) But then Jeremy and Rachel got in this big fight one day, and James tossed my favorite skillet before Rachel bashed Jeremy's head in with it. Which I guess is a good rule of thumb. Never carry cookware that can also be used as a weapon when two members of your band are dating.

They're not together anymore. Hmm. Does that mean I can get a new cast iron pan? Can I get one already seasoned? Because it definitely wouldn't fit in our stupid little oven.

Alright, let me give you a recipe before I go and hit Williams Sonoma. Hey, aren't they telling us that shopping is all American and stuff… yeah, I can play the part of the good consumer, if it will help heal my country. He-he.

Green Beans

1 package Trader Joe's Haricot Verts (this is a fancy way of saying 'skinny green beans'. And I probably spelled it wrong.)
A few shakes of Trader Joe's Sesame Miso Salad Dressing (Mr. Rolling Stone didn't mention in the article that I bought three bottles of this)

Throw the beans into a pot of boiling salted water. Cook for like three minutes. Maybe less. Drain. (Rock star cooking tip: Get the all-clear before draining boiling water on the bus. You never know when the insane driver will decide to make a sudden turn or swerve so he doesn't hit a bunny!) Shake some of the dressing into the hot pan and toss the hot beans on top. Put the lid on the pot and shake to coat. Check for coat-age. Maybe add some more dressing. I make Rachel put hers on the side for dipping, or she'd drown the poor beans.

Rachel has a friend that hates green beans, but even he likes these.

Later, dudes...

d.

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