"Drinks? Anyone?" Chris asked, standing up from the table. "Bueller? Bueller? Lance? C?"

I shook my head. "I'm good."

No one else wanted wine. They never wanted wine. That was fine, more for me, every sip reminded me of James. Drinking it with him, listening to him and Rachel talk about the winery, how his kisses tasted after we'd finished a bottle. Or two. Or sometimes three.

Chris grabbed the bottle on his way into the kitchen, holding it up to the light to see how full it was. "Hmm, I don't think you've had enough, C." Then he noticed the label. "Connor?"

"Rachel's family," I offered, studying the Monopoly board in front of me. Lance was winning, as usual. I didn't even know what properties I owned, but Lance had little cities on all of his.

I wasn't sure what to tell the guys about me and James. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell them anything. I didn't want to be teased. It was still too new, too special to be made fun of.

"Where'd you get that?" Joey asked. "Do they sell it out here? Isn't it in Virginia or someplace?"

"Long Island," I corrected. "James sent me some."

A case. With a little note from Rachel's mom welcoming me to the family. So I guess he told her. Or Rachel did. Or something.

I should tell him not to tell people, probably. Rachel had nieces, if they told their friends, who knew where it would end up.

But he loved me enough to tell people. How could I tell him to not do that? I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted to point to him and shout "he loves me!"

If only I knew that everyone in my life would be as happy about that as I was.

"Yeah, how did it go the other night?" Chris yelled from the kitchen.

"What other night?" Justin asked, wincing as he landed on Park Place with 12 hotels owned by Lance.

"Fork it over, curly!" Lance snickered.

Justin scowled at him, then turned to me with a grin. "I call a recess to get the details on JC's love life."

Fuck. I should have known this would happen.

"Or lack thereof!" Joey cackled, but Chris defended me, coming back in with beers.

"There is no lack. There was the lovely James Packard three days ago. JC made me go to the Sudden Silence show with him."

There was a chorus of 'ooh's from around the table and I gave up. I couldn't keep it from them, they'd read it on my face if someone asked the right question. And someone would, my love life was far more interesting than getting whipped by Lance at Monopoly again.

"Dude, I would have gone with you!" Justin said. "Is Rachel as hot live as she is in the video?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "They're great."

Chris sat down, whacking me. "Like you took your eyes off James for a second to watch the wanton sex goddess." He turned to Justin. "As a straight man, I can tell you that she is smoking."

They started discussing Rachel's various body parts, and I thought for a second I might be saved. This could go on for hours. It had in the past. From Rachel to Alicia Keyes to Destiny's Child to Gwen Stefani, these boys could talk about girls all night. Especially since Justin was single at the moment.

"So, is everything OK?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, weren't you fighting?" Joey added.

"We weren't fighting," I informed them. There were seven hotels on Boardwalk. We should just give all our money to Lance and start a new game.

"Well, he wasn't returning your calls," Chris reminded everyone. Like they needed to be reminded? Like I needed to be reminded?

"Did you make up?" Justin teased, and I just nodded, counting my money and trying not to look at anyone, or I'd get stupid and giddy and tell them that he loved me.

I'd never been in love before. Did they realize that?

There was a split second of silence and I could feel them all staring at me.

"Aw, man," Joey whined. "Like you're not normally a flake?"

"What?" I asked, looking up at him.

"JC in love is so gonna be useless to anyone!" Chris complained.

"No wonder you're losing at this stupid game," Justin added.

"He always loses at Monopoly," Lance corrected. "And he was already in love."

"No," Joey said, shaking his head. "This is different. He's not quite sitting in the chair, he's sorta floating above it, and that grin is sickening. Did you say it? Did he say it back?"

Grinning, I nodded. "Well, I sorta yelled it at first. We were fighting."

They all groaned. "Dude, give me your phone," Chris demanded. "I'm gonna let him know that you are a romantic retard and he shouldn't take it personally."

"I was better later!" I defended. "After I had a nervous breakdown. It's fine. It's all good."

Oh, god, I've become Kevin Backstreet. That was his favorite phrase, 'it's all good.'

"Is it?" Lance questioned. "I mean, you're with a guy-"

Justin whacked him, because he was closest. "Shut up. C's happy, so shut up."

I stared back at the game board, my mood deflated a little bit. "I know," I said quietly. "Everyone would be happier if I was in love with a girl." They tried to protest, but I went on, shaking my head. "I'm too scared to tell my family, and Johnny will probably have a heart attack. I'm not planning on announcing it on TRL or anything, so don't worry."

Yet. Two weeks ago, I never would have dreamed that I'd want to tag on a 'yet'. But I wanted to hold his hand when we walked down the street, I wanted to be able to take him out to dinner and not worry what people might think.

"Yet," Joey finished for me, and I looked up at him in surprise. "What? James is sorta out there. I can't imagine he's happy having to keep this a secret."

"He told me not to worry about it. If it started to bother him, he'd let me know."

I just hoped I'd grow a backbone by then.

"Now that is true fucking love," Chris asserted, making me smile again.

"Does Rachel know? Does Nick?" Lance had to be the voice of doom again, and they all looked at me expectantly.

"Nick's known for a while. I don't think the rest of Backstreet knows. And fuck, they're not gonna tell. We know as much dirt about them, if they want to start flinging it."

"I have been dying to tell someone about AJ and the three groupies in Berlin!" Chris said.

"Uh, Chris, weren't you in the room at the time?" Joey asked, and Chris waved him away.

"Whatever. Like anyone's gonna believe that drunk?" They fell into Backstreet gossip and I grinned around at them. Of course they wouldn't tease me. They were my best friends in the world, they were just happy for me. I don't know what I was worried about.

"James!" Chris yelled into a cellphone. "This is Chris Kirkpatrick, we met the other night before you told my best friend you're in love with him and turned him into a goony idiot."

I lept over the table, knocking over our game, but I didn't care. How the fuck did Chris get James' number? Fuck, was that my phone? Why didn't I keep it under lock and key, why did I just toss it on the table?

Joey was cracking up, but he was still strong enough to hold me back from killing Chris.

<James>

I thought I could hear JC screaming in the background, but it was so loud in here it was hard to tell. So I got up from my seat at the bar, swaying a bit as I stood up. "Wasn't he always a goony idiot, Chris?"

"Well, yeah," Chris admitted. Rachel looked up at me as I passed her, but I grinned and she let me go. "He's goonier than ever, though. You sure you want to make it worse?"

"I like him goony!"

I like him naked in bed the best, but Chris probably didn't want to hear that.

"Aw, man, you are his perfect man, if you like the goony."

"I do. Now, what are you doing to him?" I was outside now, so I could hear. Fuck, it was cold.

"Nothing! He just seems to think that I shouldn't be talking to you or something."

"Can I talk to him?" I asked. "I'll tell him I don't mind that you called."

"C, he says he's really been after me this whole time, and now that you introduced us, it's over- hey!" he yelled, and there was a scuffle, then JC's voice.

"Shut up!" he yelled, and I heard a door slam. "James?" he asked.

"What?" I responded through my giggles.

"I'm sorry, my friends are idiots," he apologized, but I just laughed harder.

"Aw, baby, it was adorable. I don't mind at all. So, you told them?"

"They figured it out, yeah. Took 'em a while, actually." He sounded a little annoyed by that fact.

"Sounds like they're… good with it." They were teasing him, that was certainly better than dragging him off for reprogramming, right?

I could feel his smile. "They are, I think. Well, they're telling me I'm a flake, but that's pretty normal."

"Chris seems to think it's my fault that you're flakier than normal."

"I always lose at Monopoly."

He'd had too much to drink. Or maybe I had. Was I supposed to understand that Monopoly comment?

"Do you?" I asked, and he laughed.

"We're at Lance's, for game night-"

"You have a game night?"

"Lance likes to kick our asses at Monopoly."

"You're all gay, aren't you?"

"Just me. Strange, but true. Can I assume that Sudden Silence does not have game nights?"

"Um, no," I admitted. "Well, when we're not on tour. When we're on tour, we do play a lot of poker. And Pounce."

"Pounce?" he asked.

"Card game. I'll teach you. But back to Monopoly."

"Right. Chris seems to think that I'm flakier than normal, but I always lose at Monopoly, so I don't think that's a very fair assessment."

"You haven't seen your lovesick expression, JC," another voice said. "Monopoly has nothing to do with it."

"Those Sudden Silence people have really bad taste in boybanders," yet another voice said. "Don't they know that I'm the cute one?"

Had to be Justin.

"Tell Justin he's not my type, but I appreciate the offer," I said. JC laughed, repeating it to his friend. That inspired a lot of howling, and it took a minute before JC remembered he was talking to me.

"Sorry," he said, and I just laughed.

"It's fine. I'll let you go back to your friends."

"No, I-"

"Call me later, baby. We're out at some bar, but we'll be heading back to the hotel soon."

"Okay. Love you," he said, and there was a chorus of groans.

I loved that he said it in front of his friends. "Me, too," I told him, hanging up the phone.

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