"Wake up!" A voice demanded, and the bed moved. I opened one eye to find JC jumping on my bed like a four-year-old. "Get up, James! It's spring outside, it's gorgeous. See?"

He jumped off the bed and threw open the curtains, and I shut my eyes against the light and his smile. That smile made my heart do stupid things, and it might be too early for that. "What the hell are you doing so awake?"

"I have been up for hours," he informed me, jumping back on the bed. "I was on Z100 this morning, remember? I am wounded that you aren't listening to it!"

"I recorded it," I mumbled, hiding under the covers, hoping he would come to find me. "I was really excited to be in my own bed last night."

He yanked at the covers. "Get UP!" he insisted, giggling. "We've only got a few hours, I want pancakes! And Rachel said she'd come on my bus to Philly, so you can come too, and Bayley's meeting us at the venue with cheesesteaks, Rachel just has to call her when we get there. So, wake up!"

I yanked back on the covers and he tumbled next to me with a laugh. Grinning, I started to pull him near me and he wiggled away with a squeal. "Brush your teeth! And do you think I am kissing you with that stubble? I might injure myself!"

"You haven't shaved either," I protested.

"They got me out of bed at five fucking a.m. I was not shaving." He pushed my shoulder, making me roll out of bed. "Get up, I'm hungry and I want pancakes!"

I stood up, raising an eyebrow at him, sprawled in my unmade bed. "I bet I could get them to deliver. You said we had a couple of hours, right?" I could think of a lot more interesting things to do than the Royal Canadian.

"I don't think Joey and Brianna want to listen to that."

"What? Joey Fatone is in my house?" I yelled, trying to keep my voice quiet, and JC giggled at me again.

"Even if I didn't need a chaperone, he heard me say 'pancakes' and Brianna was packed up and ready to go. Kelly's sleeping in and we've got the baby. Joey loves the Royal Canadian."

Fucking chaperones. Part of me loved touring with him and another part of me loathed it. Was it so fucking wrong that I wanted to go get some breakfast with my boyfriend? Michael and I went to the Royal every Sunday. On a day like today, we'd stroll down there holding hands and pick our breakfasts by shutting our eyes and pointing at a random number.

"James?" His voice was quiet and a little bit scared. I'd been hearing that voice a lot lately. "I didn't think you'd mind, you love the baby, and I told you I was coming over after the radio thing, didn't I?"

<JC>

God, I hated that look on his face. I knew he hated having a chaperone at all times. So did I. But we couldn't just walk out of this apartment holding hands, who knows who might see us? Hell, I couldn't even walk in here by myself without causing rumors.

He looked back at me and grinned. "I adore the baby, and I'll bet Joey can finish a pancake. Give me ten minutes to shower and I'll be ready to go."

He grabbed some clothes and all I could do was watch him. Part of me wanted to pull him back on the bed and fuck him senseless, telling him how much I loved him. But I just let him go, listening to him talk to Joey and coo at Brianna for a moment before I heard the bathroom door close.

This bed smelled like him. I loved this bed. I loved falling asleep next to him and being a part of his life. He told me once that he never brought anyone here. Just me and Michael.

There was no way this was going to last four years. I couldn't believe it had been more than four months. And I definitely didn't feel like I was the love of his life the way Michael was. I just held on as tight as I could without seeming clingy and thanked God every day that we were still together. Not once had James told me he hated keeping this a secret, not once. I knew he did, I could read it on his face, but something kept him with me and I didn't want to question it too hard.

I could hear Brianna squeal and I forced myself to leave the bedroom. Joey was tossing her up in the air, talking to her about pancakes. "Do you want pancakes, princess? Chocolate chip? Apple? What kind would be your favorite?"

"Is she old enough for pancakes?" I asked, dropping into the chair across from them, and he didn't look at me, but continued cooing to his daughter.

"Of course she's old enough for pancakes! Pancakes make people happy! Especially princesses, right, baby girl?"

Brianna giggled and I had to laugh with her. "I read that entire menu, Joey, and I do not remember 'princess pancakes' being on it."

"They'd make a mint!" He caught her one last time and looked over at me, settling her on his lap. "You OK?"

"I'm fine," I tried to be nonchalant.

"Is he getting pissed about the chaperone thing? Family life dragging down your sex life?"

"Shut up. I wouldn't have invited you if it was going to be a problem."

He shrugged. "I don't think that's it. I think it's the fact that you can't ever be alone in public with him."

"Do you want me to be alone in public with him, Joe?"

He considered me for a long moment and finally shook his head. "The N*Sync part of me would rather not deal with the publicity. But the friend part of me wants you to be happy. I like him, I like you with him, and I'd hate to see work get in the way of a good thing."

"I am happy, and work's not in the way." Not really. We'd never talked about it, there was just a shadow that crossed James' eyes sometimes.

Brianna wiggled out of his arms, and he caught her, still looking at me. "I managed to have a kid and not marry her momma and we've still got a career."

I laughed. "And that just proves you're straight. Not the same thing at all, Joey."

"True," he admitted. "But…" he shook his head. "I'm not sure that I was ever as goony about Kelly as you are about him. It's gross, dude. You two need to like, fight or something."

I stuck my tongue out at him. I liked James and I just exactly the way we were.

"Jace!" James bellowed from the bathroom.

"What?" I yelled back as Joey made gagging noises. "What?" I hissed at him.

"Come here!" James demanded as Joey laughed at me.

I got up, shooting Joey a glare. "Just you," he whispered. "I should have known that you'd be a complete freak when you fell in love. You just hear his voice and you look all dreamy."

I tossed a pillow at him as I left the room, sticking my head in the bathroom. "What?" I asked James, and he smiled at me.

"I forgot my pants. Go get them?"

I laughed at him. "You can go get them. Joey has seen half naked men before. Hell, he's seen completely naked men before."

He pulled me over to him with an arm around my waist. "Has he?" he teased quietly. "Who has he seen naked, pray tell?"

"You've never done a costume change backstage, have you?"

"No, but I might have to hang out there tonight." He kissed me, finally. I shouldn't have pushed him away when we were in his bed, it had been hours since I'd kissed him.

"I missed you last night," he breathed against me. "We're getting spoiled, aren't we?"

I nodded, trying to breathe around the sudden lump in my throat. We were spoiled, and we were more reckless every day, sneaking into each other's rooms and hoping the fans wouldn't catch us. The tour was over in a few weeks, what then? We wouldn't have this convenient cover, and I'd still want to see him every day.

He kissed me again, and I had to stop myself from clinging to him. We weren't together last night, that's why I was off balance and wanted so much of him. That's all it was, we were fine. He pulled away from me with a grin. "Now go get my pants. I don't want to scar poor Brianna for life."

I laughed. "I imagine she's seen her dad half naked."

He shuddered and pushed me out the door. "That's just scary."

Chapter added 01.21.07 Email feedback to The Paperbag Princess

Chapter 1: Our Heros Meet Chapter 2: Let Them Eat Cake! Chapter 3: VMA's Chapter 4: Day Off Chapter 5: Three Small Words Chapter 6: Complicated

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